Forget Me Not
Chapter Two- Zack's POV
Bring! Bring! Bring! I groaned in my pillow. What the hell was that awful noise? Gahhh! Why won't whatever it is shut up! Crushing the pillow on my head to try and block out the sound I growled deep into my pillow. After three minutes of intense torture I finally threw off the covers and stood up on the floor. The sound seemed to be coming from Cody's side of the room. Glaring, I promised to kill him once he woke up. Although I had to admit, it was kind of strange for Cody not to be awake, I mean he was always the first one up and it was a school day! That's when I realized what the ringing was all about. Cody's antique alarm clock with the two bells was ringing like mad. I all but crushed the stupid thing. Turning the stupid around, I found the battery and prodded it loose before ripping it out and ending that horrible cacophony of noise once and for all.
Grumbling about the injustice of it all I suddenly remembered why I had gotten up in the first place. Cody hadn't woken up and turned the bloody thing off. This, in itself was odd. The normal routine was Cody waking up early and to spend all the extra trying to get me up. It was …a long process so to speak, but it worked, so we stuck with it. Now the question that was on my mind was why didn't Cody wake up? Throbbing with curiosity I leaped on his bed and shook him vigorously. "Cody! Codester wake up! We're late for school!" that always did the trick.
Predictably, Cody shot out of bed and unintentionally tossed me off the bed. "Huh?" he looked around blearily. "Who's in my room?" he asked suspiciously.
I gave my famous, are you dumb? Look before answering, "It's me dimwit." I stated obviously.
Confusion spread across his face. Eyes peering at me weirdly. "Who are you?" he leaned back warily.
I gave him a condescending look. What was he playing at? He knew perfectly well who I was. I mean, it's not like we hadn't spent the last thirteen years together or anything. "Cody. That's not funny. I'm your twin brother. How can you not know me?" I snorted at the very thought before turning to find some semi decent clothes.
Cody' voice caught me off guard. "No seriously, who the heck are you? I don't know you. Why are you in my room?" his voice was rising and I heard the fear laced in it.
My stomach clenched. Dread crawled up my spine and hands shook slightly. Cody had to be joking; I never knew he was such a good actor though. He had to be joking, he just had to be. He couldn't have forgotten me. Me! His brother, twin brother! It was impossible. Unheard of. No, it just couldn't be true. "Ha-ha Cody. Jokes up. Now get serious." My voice cracked a little at the end.
One look at his face told me all I needed to know. Cody was serious. I knew my twin's face like the back of my hand. I knew when he was sad, happy, mad, confused, serious and afraid. I knew when he was lying. And in his face, I saw no lie. My heart fell from my chest. My breathing sped up. My body shook with panic. No. No. No! How could Cody have forgotten me? How could he have woken up not knowing who I was? I was a part of him! I was his twin! How could he not remember me? No, it had to be a dream. A really, really bad nightmare. In a few minutes Cody would wake me up for school and cook up my favourite breakfast. Our favourite breakfast. Blueberry waffles with bananas on the side. Yeah, that's it. It was a dream. A really bad dream.
Pinching myself I urged my subconscious to wake up. Wake up! Wake up! Cody's alarmed voice shocked me from my self-induced pain. "What are you doing?" he asked worriedly.
Worry tinged his eyes, but I could still see the doubt and the caution that lay hidden in his blue eyes. "You don't remember me?" unable to help it, my voice cracked in pain.
He shook his head, causing his long blonde hair to tumble across his face. Eyes apologetic he asked me a question that tore me apart. "Should I?" innocent and not knowing I turned away so he wouldn't see the coming waterfall.
Tears. I hadn't cried in a long time. Ever since dad left, I hadn't shed a tear and now, now I bawling like a baby because my little brother didn't know who I was. My own twin didn't know my name. Didn't remember everything we've done. Didn't know why he should remember me. "I'm sorry." he whispered.
"What's your name?" I demanded.
Maybe…maybe he had that thing. Amsia? Nesia? Amnesia! Maybe he had amnesia! Secretly, I hoped that's what the problem was. At least, if he had amnesia, it wasn't just me he had forgotten. It would be everyone else too. The thought brought a sick pleasure in me. I know it was wrong to wish that he forgot everyone else, but I was selfish. I didn't think I could bear it if he remembered everyone but me. "Cody Martin." He stated mechanically.
"Mother? Father? Address?" I shot off questions like a machine gun.
Please. Please. Please. Don't not remember me. "Carey Martin. Kurt Martin. Boston Tipton." he answered everything perfectly and knowingly.
My heart rose in my throat and I fought to keep more tears from gushing down. "Who are our best friends?" I asked, fearing the answer.
He looked at me strangely. "I don't know who our best friends are, but my best friends are Max, Bob, Barbara and Tapeworm."
My jaw dropped. He didn't remember me. He really, truly didn't remember me. I couldn't believe it. How was this possible? How could this happen? How could my best friend, my brother, my twin, be taken away from me in one day? Why did he remember everyone but me? Did I do something wrong? Is this some kind of twisted punishment? Taking the one thing I care about most in the world and leaving him with no memory whatsoever of me? I threw my head in my hands and sobbed dryly. This was by far the worst punishment I had ever gotten. Even no TV for a month was better than this. Cody continued to stare blankly at me. Suddenly, I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried out and bawled harder than I've ever cried in my entire life. Mom came rushing in wielding a pillow like an axe, her face fierce. "Zack! What's wrong?"
"You know him?" Cody's surprised voice echoed in my ears.
Hearing that made the tears fall faster as I threw myself onto my bed and refused to look up. Mom looked incredulously at her son. "Of course I know him, he's my son and might I add, your twin brother." She looked at him like it was obvious.
"No he's not. I'd think I'd remember if I had a twin!" his defensive voice rang out in the now silent room.
"Honey?" she started calmly, "Stop playing around, you're scaring your brother."
Before Cody had a chance to speak I looked up from my soaked pillow. "It's true mom." I told her, gasping for air, "He…he doesn't remember me!" I sobbed harder and pitched my head back into my pillow.
Mom's face paled considerably and she fell limply to on his bed. "Cody. Oh my god, my poor baby." Her eyes filled with tears as she hugged him close to her body.
Patting her back soothingly he whispered comforting words in her ear. "Shh, it's okay mom, don't cry. It's alright."
"No it's not! You don't remember your own brother! You might have amnesia Cody! No, we're taking you to the hospital right now."
Cody started to protest before sighing in defeat. I was hurt by the gesture. Did he not want to remember me? Was that it? Could it be possible that he wanted to forget me? Shaking my head vehemently at the thought I forced the tears to stop falling. No. Cody wanted to remember me. I knew it. How could he want to forget me? We had the best times together. We were more than just brothers. We were best friends. He couldn't want to forget me.
A horrible thought overtook me. What if he never remembered? What if Cody lived the rest of his life in denial of Zack's existence? Living every day without fully remembering his past. Without remembering me. How would I survive? Cody meant the world to me. I know you're never supposed to think this way, that you're supposed to feel complete with just you and all that, but he was literally my other half. We completed each other in a way that couples strived to. I couldn't live without him, but now, I was starting to think I'd have to learn how. I always knew that someday, we'd be apart. We'd have our own lives and new families, but it was supposed to be a gradual process. Bit by bit. He wasn't supposed to forget me! This was like my worst nightmare. My biggest fear. The famous saying, there's a fate so much worse than death, suddenly made sense to me. Cody not remembering me was a lot worse than Cody being dead. At least, I wouldn't have to see an exact replica of myself and know that he had no idea who I was. To know that even though you loved him more than life itself, he had no idea you existed. Didn't know that we existed as one entity. Zack and Cody. That's how it was. Never just Zack and never just Cody. We were always together, that's how it was supposed to be. It went against the law of nature that my other half didn't know who I was. It was an abomination. An Outrage, atrocity, wrong. Just plain wrong. Wrong an unfair.
What was I supposed to do knowing Cody didn't remember me? Nothing could be worse. I tried to remember the last thing I said to him before he forgot all about me. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't remember. I hated that word. Remember. Forget. I hated them.
Mom yelled at me to get dressed, we were going to the hospital. Throwing on random articles of clothing I hurried out the door and grabbed Cody's familiar hand. Ignoring his cry and his struggles to pull his wrist out of my hand I shoved open the bathroom door and hauled him in. "Quit squirming. I was always stronger then you." I informed him bitterly, but of course, you don't remember that.
He stopped wiggling about all of the sudden. I followed his entranced gaze and met his eyes in the mirror. I let his hand drop from mine and stared back into my reflection. Identical. That's what we were. Same shaggy blonde hair, same sparkling blue eyes, though mines were pink and teary. His hand pressed against the glass and the wonder in his eyes quickly gave way to disbelief. "We really are twins." He whispered wonderingly.
Looking away I struggled to contain my emotions. "Yeah, we really are." I choked.
"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I'm trying to remember something, anything, but I keep drawing a blank. It's seems that no matter what I do, I just can't remember you." His voice was sincere and I recognized the apologetic look adorning his face.
I didn't know what to say. What does one say when their twin apologizes for not knowing who they are? Shrugging my shoulders I walked out the door, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. Mom was already outside the door by the time Cody came out. Piling into the elevator I kept to myself and tried to ignore the glances Cody kept shooting my way. With a ping that elevator doors opened and we stepped out into the busy lobby. Ignoring everyone we pushed through the doors and hailed a yellow cab. "Get me to the nearest hospital." Mom commanded roughly at the surprised cabbie.
Nodding, he stepped on the gas and we lurched through the crowded Boston streets. Arriving at the large tan building we rushed out and ran to the Emergency Wing. "What's the problem ma'am?" a cute nurse with wavy black hair and a wavier figure asked us kindly.
Frantically, mom gestured to the younger twin. "My son, Cody, I think he has amnesia." Her eyes filled with worry and tears.
The nurse looked sympathetically at her before turning her attention to Cody. "Hello, can you tell me your name?" she asked sweetly.
"Cody Martin."
"Age?"
"Thirteen."
"Birthday?"
"November 4th" he answered self-assuredly.
The nurse frowned, confused. Scribbling something on a sheet of paper she hurried away, "I'll be right back."
Cody looked curiously at her before looking down at the floor again. Ten minutes of awkward silence later, she came back again. "Come this way please, Doctor Granate will see you now." My stomach clenched again.
Somehow, I knew this wouldn't be good. Tall and gloomy, didn't bother with introductions as he led Cody into the examining room. Mom and I waited outside impatiently for the aloof doctor to finish. Waiting anxiously outside the closed doors I started pacing. I was 100% sure that somehow, -up would come out of those doors and tell them that it was all a fluke and that Cody remembered everything now. That some…some big word physiological thingy happened, but it was okay because they had some amazing cure on hand. Yeah, it was going to be okay.
After what seemed like ions, the doctor came outside. And lo and behold, there was emotion on his face! With a dropping heart I realized it wasn't the one I was looking for. "Ms. Martin?" he asked hesitantly, "I have bad news and good news. The good news is, your son does not have amnesia." mom's face lit up expectantly. "The bad news is your son has a case of repressed memory." Her face dropped. Again.
I however, was confused. What the heck was a repressed memory? Actually, what the heck was repressed? My first thought was to ask Cody, but then I realized he had
a) Forgot about me and
b) He was in the other room
Taking my confusion in consideration he proceeded to explain. "A repressed memory is something odd and truly remarkable about the human brain. Usually after a traumatic experience or extreme guilt or other strong reoccurring emotion the brain will actually wipe away the memory to no longer feel the emotions associated with it. We all know that memories are connected to emotion, but when the emotion becomes too much, then the brain might find it necessary to erase it fully from itself. Now, in most cases, the brain erases just one memory. Think of it like a computer, there's a virus in one file in a singular folder. To prevent more damage to the computer, it erases the bad file. Now if we look at Cody's situation, well, it seemed like he didn't just delete one file, he deleted the whole folder, which up until now, we thought was impossible. He completely erased the "Zack File" so to speak and every memory of last night." After his mini soliloquy I think my heart stopped beating.
It was official. Life hated me. Cody wanted to forget about me. He truly, really wanted to forget about me. That's what the doctor just said wasn't it! "Now, that's not to say he meant to forget all about Zack, he could have been trying to get rid of a certain incident in his mind and accidentally did this to himself, that's what most cases are like. But right now, his repressed memory is only half the problem. Further examination of Cody's body showed extreme signs of physical abuse. Nothing broken, but he has several large bruises, scars, cuts and what seems like burns. Last night, something must have happened. I'm sorry Ms. Martin, but we think that due to his severe injuries, he wanted to forget and ended up forgetting all about Zack." He shook his head apologetically.
What! How dare that scumbag say that! He had just fully said, in front of my own mother that he thought I had beaten up Cody so he forgot about me to ease the pain. The nerve of him! Jackass! Bastard! Ire rage erupted within me and my hands curled into blazing fists. I'll show him how to really beat someone up. Contempt and outrage must have been burning in my eyes since mom suddenly leapt forward and grabbed hold of me tightly in a twisted mockery of an embrace. "I didn't beat Cody up. I would never ever hurt him!" I exploded passionately.
Looking at me indifferently he shrugged. "Then why would he forget you?" he asked sardonically.
Shaking with fury I pushed past him roughly and walked into the white hospital room. Seeing Cody sitting there all curled up into himself dissipated the anger. "Hey Codes." I said softly.
He wouldn't look at me. "I heard what said to mom and you. "He whispered frightfully.
Oh no. Please please please no. He couldn't possibly believe that I beat him up did he? "Cody, I swear I didn't do that to you! I would never-!"
"I know. I don't know how I do, but I know you didn't do it. I wish I could remember who, but everything after 4 o'clock is a black slate." He shook his head in self-hatred.
"How does it...how does it feel?" I asked timidly.
"What? To not remember anything or knowing that I deliberately forgot about my own twin?" he laughed cynically, "I don't know. I feel like I should remember and I feel horrible for forgetting you. I know it sucks to say this, but even though I don't really know you I feel something between us you know? Like, like a connection but it's kind of blocked. And I know that if I can just unblock it I'll remember, I just…I just don't know how."
I patted his shoulder and let out a little chuckle. "Well that's a first. The Cody Martin I know never doesn't know."
He scoffed, "It won't last long, I promise you that." His haw set squarely, " I will regain my memories. Just you watch." His jaw set in that Cody fashion that showed he was thinking real hard about something and I smiled.
In that moment I believed him. Once Cody sets his mind to something, he never stopped until he accomplished it. I knew that even if it took twenty years, he would find a way. I just hoped it didn't that long. "Well come on then, mom's taking us out to lunch." I hopped off the black bed thing and made my way to the door.
Vaguely, I wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would it be normal? Would Cody remember? Would everyone treat Cody weirdly? Are they gonna treat me weirdly? What if they all believed that I beat him up like that jerk doctor? Shaking away those thoughts I held fast to the thought that Cody knew they were twins and once he heard all the stories I had to tell him he was bound to remember before tomorrow. Hopefully.
A/N The next chapter will most probably be the last chapter unless I feel like being mean and leaving a horrific cliff hanger :) I'm pretty sure it's not possible to repress a memory about a person, since my research showed that it could only sometimes happen after a traumatic experience, but this all for the sake of the story. Hope you guys all liked it!
