Naomi lay staring at the wall remembering the loneliness she had always felt. The older Naomi got the harder she pushed away people around her, the harder her heart seemed to become. She drank, got high and had meaningless sex all to escape the cage she'd created for herself. It never truly went away though, simply retreated until the high evaporated. Naomi rolled onto her back, her sixteen year old self fresh in her mind. Two years had changed everything, broken down her walls, set her free of the cage she felt she so desperately needed. Who am I kidding, Emily changed everything, Naomi mused, remembering the feel of Emily's lips. Absentmindedly Naomi's fingers grazed her lips, wishing for Emily's kiss. A simple kiss had started all this, another kiss had ended it.

The music pulsed through the crowded house, rooms upon rooms full of people. Bodies brushed hers as she danced, alcohol coursing through her veins. She felt light as she downed another shot of vodka. The burn of alcohol was so good, washing away the sad loneliness. Naomi closed her eyes, her hips moving as she raised her hands above her head. Feeling the bass echo in her chest as she let go, every wall so carefully put in place crashing to the ground. A hand brushed her back, a voice screaming her name over the music.

Naomi turned, Emily stood before her covered in sweat, her eyes bright with mirth. Naomi's eyes took her in from head to toe, a white tank top, black bra and short black skirt hugged Emily's small frame. Naomi's mouth went dry, feeling unsteady on her feet. A small insecure smile flitted over Emily's lips, taking a long drink from the cup in her hand. Naomi took another shot, feeling the liquid sing through her body. Naomi looked stunning in her blue dress, melding to her body like a second skin.

"What are you doing here?" Naomi yelled, emboldened by the alcohol clouding her mind.

Emily smirked placing her mouth against Naomi's ear, "Same as you really, trying to get fucked in this shit place."

Naomi laughed, "You're right, this place is a bit shit. Wankers all around."

Emily grinned, "Let's dance."

Naomi nodded, losing herself in the music her eyes closing as she danced. She felt Emily move closer, their bodies moving together. Naomi felt free, letting go always felt so terribly good. It was the only time when she didn't have to hide her heart, when no one would try to break it.

Emily moved closer, pressing her body against Naomi's her hands resting on Naomi's hips amidst the crowd. Naomi opened her eyes, looking down at Emily. Emily's eyes were intense, black in the darkness of the room changing from red, to blue, to green under the strobe lights above them. Naomi fell headlong into those eyes, saved only by a small twinge of fear in her stomach that righted the world a bit.

Naomi's mind emptied, a haze covering her vision the fear melting away as quick as it had come. The music pounded harder, Naomi wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. Emily tilted her face up, eyes burning. Naomi looked back through the vodka haze, watching Emily take another drink her eyes never leaving Naomi's. Emily's heart raced against her ribs, her hands moving across the fabric of Naomi's dress. What am I doing, her mind screamed, but God she feels so good.

Emily was just drunk enough to not give a shit what happened, what she did. Emily allowed herself to feel, to want in that moment alone. Naomi's eyes lacked their usual hardness, her lips a slight smile as she moved against Emily. Unable to control herself any more, maybe unwilling to try Emily pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She watched Naomi's eyes darken, the smile disappearing.

Emily kissed her, her lips covering Naomi's. A second passed then Emily felt Naomi return the pressure. The music continued around them, the party going on as if nothing had changed. Naomi's mind swam, Emily felt so good in her arms and her taste felt intoxicating. Emily sighed against Naomi's mouth, running her tongue along the other girl's bottom lip. Naomi pulled Emily flush against her, causing a soft moan to slip between Emily's lips. The world exploded behind Naomi's eyelids as Emily's tongue forced its way into her mouth. They kissed slowly, tasting of alcohol. Emily broke the kiss, leaning back her eyes wide. Naomi looked back, equally shocked, her lips swollen from kissing, her eyes soft.

Realization dawned on Naomi as she looked at the other girl. Emily felt her heart constrict, fear trickling through her body. She'd gone too far, Emily backed away from Naomi, turning she fled the party. Emily ran all the way home, flung herself into bed and cried.

Then she told Katie I'd jumped on her, Naomi thought rising from their bed. Stop thinking about Emily, she told herself, Emily was leaving hell she'd already gone. Thinking about her taste was torture at this point. Naomi paced the room, naked her wavy blonde hair mussed from the bed.

Her mind replayed the past two years, the way she'd pulled Emily close only to push her away again. She'd been ruled by fear until Emily had walked out of Naomi's bedroom crying without shoes on. Naomi thought of how summer had gone before Sophia, before she'd broken Emily's heart.

"Em, I love you," Naomi said aloud.

The empty room gave no answer, Naomi felt so alone. Naomi returned to the bed, lying down on her stomach her face against the quilt. She felt exhausted, the clock only reading half past ten. Her cell phone vibrated, Naomi left it just for a moment. She picked it up, hoping it would be from Emily. A text from Effy: "Freddies shed. Birthday party."

Naomi tossed her phone aside, her eyes coming to rest on Emily's bags. A folded shirt lay on top, the shirt Emily has slept in the night before. Naomi picked it up, draped it over her naked body and held the fabric to her lips. Several minutes passed as she lay there unable to feel anything but sadness, defeat.

"Pull it together, Naoms," she murmured, rising from the bed.

She moved towards the dressers, she'd loved Emily for so long, she had to try. She set about getting ready; this was going to be some party.