A/N sorry about the delay... my cousin came in from out of town, on the bright side he is a gaming otaku, unfortunately he is a computer gamer. I will try to update once a week. If something should prevent me from doing so, I will post it on my profile... at the top.

meme/ head canon warning

Jamaican!Chef!Xaldin... I should explain, my friend and I were rp-ing the organization and we couldn't think of a way to make Xaldin fun, neither of us are big fans of his. We decide that since he has dreadlocks, that he is Jamaican and has a very bubbly personality and hides his bubbly, Jamaican-ness during the game because he wanted to seem more intimidating, and since he is the organizations chef (Fanon.. what can I say), he has the power to make baked goods and chickens appear out of thin air. ...We really aren't Xaldin fans and we had to think of a way to make him entertaining. Unfortunately, now whenever I write anything that has to do with Xaldin...It usually ends with him becoming a bubbly, Jamaican chef who can materialize food, so I gave up and made him a bubbly, Jamaican chef who can materialize food. Better to make it happen for the whole way through than for it to change mid-chapter. I am sorry to people who like canon Xaldin.

Ice-cream-ass!Axel... long story short... Axel's hips are actually an ice-cream cooler that he he uses to both have ice cream whenever he feels the need, and to keep his butt from melting any surface he sits on. Don't worry! The cooler can't melt, it took Zexion and Vexen a week to make, it took them a month to do that for them to do that to all of the toilet seats though.


First time spy and recipient

Saix's study is dark; the only light coming from kingdom hearts shining through the window, it's empty; there isn't supposed to be any one in any of the rooms, it was poker night and almost everyone was in the gray area. The only nobodies that were occupied Xaldin, people are getting hungry and they felt like having fish, Marluxia, Larxene got mad at him for beating her, and poured soda in his hair, and Zexion. He left the game early; he would normally leave a few hours before everyone, he wanted some time to read before everyone started having drunk, passionate sex. He had slightly different plans this time.

'Why am I doing this?' he stands in front of Saix's door, 'It's for the good of the organization.' He opens the door, walks to a white desk, and starts to look through the stacks of files. He picks up his own, 'Only look through IX's file…" , he found IX's file at the bottom of the pile. He opens the file and goes to the sections labeled 'missions'.

"Recon, in Halloween Town, Port Royale and Hollow Bastion. Contain heartless, Atlantica and Twilight Town." He puts the file back at the bottom, and brings out his special book, the Book of Fate.

"IX, Halloweentown. Show me his mission if I do not assist." XI ignores Christmas Town and is having a hard time distinguishing the heartless from the residents. Zexion took out a pink note card, and wrote: 'When in Halloween Town remember to go into Christmas town and do research on the local heartless.' He went through the Book of Fate and when all possible errors are accounted for, Zexion moves on to Port Royale. He goes through every mission and meticulously combs through and searches for any detail that could help him, he does this until every card is filled, and every mission is nearly flawless.

He hears a slam against the door. "Oh! Superior!"

'Shit! Saix is back!' He panics and tries to find a place to hide.

"Let me get my key..." Groan, "stop touching me there! Someone might see!" Zexion runs to the closet, sees a a bag filled with toys, and runs under the bed. "Show me the type of man that you really are!"

Zexion muffles a scream. He opens a portal and goes to his room. "Why didn't I do that earlier? I better keep that in mind for later." He reviews the notes one more time, and walks to the gray area. IX has passed out and the only other people that are in there are, Axel who is eating ice cream, Roxas who is digging into Axel cooler, 'I don't know when they decided that it wasn't weird', Xaldin, who was shimmying with Xigbar. 'I don't even want to know.'

When he thought it was safe enough, he walks to IX's room, slides the notes under IX's door, and portals to his room.


The next day, Demyx wakes, surrounded by icecream wrappers, is being spooned by Xigbar. "Hi Xiggy! Can you let me go?"

"What ever gets you to shut up faster sweetlips..." Xigbar let him go. He portaled into his room, looks into the mirror, and noticed something strange.

"Lightningbug? Why?" He focuses in and looks at all of the lightning bolts, and unmentionables on his face. Then he notices something else that is a strange sight in the white room.

"Colors?" He walks to the pieces of papers, picks them up, and read some of them. "In Twilight Town, do not challenge the kid with the hat and scar to a game called struggle... What?" He puts them on his night stand, and portals to the group showers. Saix was there.

"I'm telling you this now, so I won't have to tell you later, your mission today is to contain the heartless in Twilight Town. Got it?"

"Got it X-Face." He portals back to his room, he looks at the Orange card. "What harm could the little orange card do?" He portals to the Twilight Town Baseball field.

"Hey asshat! No one breaks my stuff and gets away with it." He turns around, and sees a blond haired kid with a scar and a beanie. He looks below him and sees a broken bat."I challenge you!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Struggle with me!"

'Do not challenge the kid with the hat and scar to a game called struggle.' "No thanks, I have places I need to be." he portals out and follows every instruction that is on the card. After he is done with his mission, he comes home, finds Axel and Xigbar. "How did you guys know that I was going to Twilight Town?"

"What?" Axel looks at him.

"I got this note card filled with mission tips, and things for me to keep in mind during the mission!"

"Looks like you have yourself an angel."

"II, I would appreciate it if you stop filling IX's head with nonsense." They turn and see Zexion coming from the library.

"Zexy stop being so uptight." Axel said as he wraps his arms around him.

"Axel, continue touching me, and you will end up in war and peace." Axel lets him go.

"Zexy?" Zexy turns around.

"What is it IX?"

"Can you help me find out who did this?" Zexy nods his head.

"Just listen to your music, IX." And he did as he was told.