- Anger is just one letter short of Danger -
He can't say their reaction surprises him, but maybe the intensity does.
He had guessed Undyne would be angry, but not that she would slam her fist into the wall until it was bleeding. He had guessed Alphys would grief, but not that she would grasp his arm begging to let her try to fix him. He had guessed that Asgore would mourn, but not that he would act like he was losing a child all over again.
Not so forgettable after all, was he?
Telling them he doesn't want to be helped is the easiest thing he has ever done.
Undyne storms out of the room and bangs the door so hard everybody flinches. Papyrus isn't sure if she's mad at him or at the world in general, but he supposes it doesn't matter.
For the first 24 hours, it's like waiting with bathed breathe. He's not sure what he is expecting to happen. Maybe Sans will storm in with a rage to match Undyne's and yell at him that he is being an idiot, like he sometimes did when they were younger. Maybe Sans will hold him and cry and beg him to stay, as if this somehow is a conscious decision. Maybe Sans will fall to his knees and apologize for everything and nothing.
But when an entire day has passed and Sans leaves for the university with a stray greeting between the coffee and oatmeal, Papyrus knows he doesn't know.
Funny how his friends can keep their promises, when it really matters.
He can't really remember if Undyne and him have ever fought before. Not the petty spaghetti arguments they sometimes get into, but this. There's a first for everything, they say.
She comes to him and yells. She yells while tears stream down her face, looking almost as upset as when Alphys dies, and somewhere Papyrus thinks he should be honored.
He feels vaguely annoyed instead.
Then she takes hold of his wrist and tries to physically drag him out of the house. She tells him that if he's too stubborn to do something about this, she will just have to make him.
He hurts her then. There really is a first for everything.
She looks so shocked Papyrus almost laughs, biting his tongue to keep from saying something. Not so helpless now, is he?
Undyne says that she is never coming back. Papyrus isn't sure if he wants her to.
She does come back, barely two hours later. She brings Alphys with her and they sit him down on the couch.
They both talk for a long, long time while Papyrus stares at the wall and thinks about what to make for dinner.
Maybe he'll try pasta carbonara. He read about it in a cooking magazine yesterday, and it sounds like fun.
Alphys asks him if he's listening and he lies, saying that he is.
They are showing him even more charts, probably more than they really need to convince him, were that possible.
It isn't.
Then Undyne yells some more, while Alphys wrings her hands, looking like she rather be anywhere but here, and Papyrus feels bad for her.
Undyne is mad at him for not trying and at Sans for not noticing and at Alphys for not fixing him.
She's mad at herself for failing them all.
"Being angry won't change anything." He says, a lesson he learned too long ago to recall and Undyne stares at him in turn.
She cries instead, and once she starts, Alphys starts too and then they're just all three sobbing and then laughing at how silly they must look.
Together they decide they're angry at the world instead.
Toriel invites him over and Papyrus has never seen anyone bake a pie quite so aggressively. She has a stern look, that probably works on children.
But Papyrus isn't a child.
She wants to know the real reason why he doesn't want to try and he tells her, because it matters little anymore.
Her eyes get cold, colder than he thought possible for her.
"Do you think that's fair to us." Toriel says, and she wipes his dust of her table.
"No." Papyrus knows. "But the world isn't fair."
His best friend thought him that.
She doesn't say anything anymore and Papyrus leaves without finishing his pie.
It doesn't taste as good as it normally does anyway.
Asgore is the only one who isn't angry, the only one who understands.
He has been tired for a very long time as well, he says.
"I know I'm hurting everyone." Papyrus tells him, siting amidst a bed of purple flowers. He prefers the golden ones.
Frisk comes and sits next to them. They hold Papyrus's hand and don't mind all the dust that covers their fingers.
Papyrus feels that he should cry, but he doesn't have any tears left. Something burns in his chest that might be sadness but it hurts much more.
He is angry.
Angry, because he is hurting his friends and this isn't fair to any of them and he can't give them what they want and being angry doesn't fix anything.
He is angry at himself for being like this.
Frisk's hair smells like chocolate and Papyrus wonders why he never noticed that before.
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