Now to continue this story that nobody cares about...


Chapter 2: Prophecy?

Bob and Dan found themselves face to face with an enormously huge Magikarp. It took up the whole pond and was easily bigger than three Onix straightened and lined up head-to-tail. The skyscraping fish looked at the two new arrivals with menacing eyes that seemed to glow an evil shade of red.

"I AM THE SPIRIT OF GATEWAY MEADOW," it boomed in a ferocious voice. "WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE HERE?"

Bob looked at Dan, who was trembling slightly, wide-eyed. Bob wasn't quite as afraid. Sure, it was a monstrous behemoth, but it was just a Magikarp. His logic was that if Magikarp were normally useless, they'd have to be as big as this one to actually stand a chance in a battle. And since it's two against one...they've got this covered!

"We're humans from, er, Dimension Number 1," explained Bob. "A portal appeared out of nowhere and we were drawn into it."

"HUMAN..." the Magikarp replied thoughtfully. "THEN YOU MUST ANSWER THIS QUESTION TRUTHFULLY: AS A HUMAN, DID YOU POSSESS A BUIZEL?"

Bob was somewhat surprised by this question. "Why, yes, I did..." he said. "But why do you ask?"

"I SEE," said the Magikarp. "DID YOU ALSO OWN A PACHIRISU AND AN ABRA?"

Bob was also startled. "Um...yes." What does this spirit know about him...?

"VERY WELL THEN...WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

"Bob Sladfigy," said Bob, unsure if he should really be playing along with this.

Magikarp was taken aback. "BOB SLADFIGY...THE VERY SAME NAME."

Dan jumped in front of Bob, now much more curious than scared. "Same as what? What's Bob going to do?" he asked excitedly. Bob only nodded; he was about to ask the same thing.

The massive Magikarp cleared its throat. "THERE IS A PROPHECY. A PROPHECY THAT TELLS OF AN EVIL FORCE EMERGING FROM AN UNKNOWN PLACE AND CLAIMING ABSOLUTE RULE OVER THE LAND. THIS EVIL DICTATOR WILL BRING MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING TO OUR PEOPLE. LEGEND TELLS OF A NOSEPASS NAMED BOB SLADFIGY THAT WILL STAND UP TO THIS DEMON AND SLAY IT, RETURNING PEACE TO ALL LIVING BEINGS. YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE THE CHOSEN ONE."

Bob was even more surprised than all of the previous instances of shock that occured in the last two minutes put together. He went from a chump to a chosen one in less than a day. Being a hero was always his childhood dream, but after such a failed life, was he ready to just jump into the spotlight like that and be depended on by an entire world?

Dan was hopping all over the place. "Hey, hey, do I have a spot in the prophecy?! Am I gonna be a hero too?!"

The spirit glanced at the hyper little mouse with an annoyed eye. "AND JUST WHAT IS YOUR NAME, PICHU?"

"Daniel Imi Even."

Magikarp let out a booming laugh that seemed to echo off of the sky and create an eerie aftershock. "DANIEL IMI EVEN WAS THE PREDICTED TO BE THE HERO'S UNDERAPPRECIATED SIDEKICK WHO DOES NOTHING BUT STAND THERE AND TRY TO HOG ALL THE GLORY. DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DON'T EVEN TRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Before he could say anymore, a thunderbolt fell from the cloudless sky and completely obliterated the fish. It fell back into the pond, totally blackened and unconscious if not dead. Bob looked around confusedly and saw Dan with a trace amount of discharging electricity surrounding him, not to mention a trace amount of discharging anger. "No onemocks me and gets away with it," he said with a serious tone.

Bob panicked. "You just zapped the spirit of Gateway Meadow!" he cried. "Do you have any idea how much trouble we're in right now?"

"Do you?"

"...No."

They stared at each other for a while. Dan finally said, "Did you even believe that cliché load of bullcheese, anyway?"

Bob looked at the ground shamefully. "...Kinda."

Dan sighed. "Come on, hero," he mused mockingly, "let's find us a demonic dictator to slay."

As if on cue, an intangible Gengar popped up from below the ground directly in front of Bob and Dan. "BOOO! Weheheh!!" it screamed and laughed with a very creepy and demonic noise. Bob was so startled he fell over on his back. Dan simply hopped backward. "I am an evil force of evilness and I am going to take over the world!!" the apparition continued.

It was Bob's turn to react. From his lying-down position, his nose pointing straight at the Gengar, he was able to fire a Zap Cannon for a direct hit. It came out as a wide laser blast with an epic sound that could've been the finishing blow to an evil overlord. And, given the context, it fit in just fine. The ghost screeched and retreated back into the ground with a dramatic flourish. A cheesy victory fanfare played, almost like a horrible kazoo duet, and it started to rain confetti. Some went up Bob's massive nose.

"A...A...ACHOOOO!!" he sneezed. Another Zap Cannon fired, just the same as before. There was no target this time around, unless you count the confetti which, from that point on, ceased to exist. Bob slowly worked to his feet again. "That was weird."

A few moments of silence passed, as if the dimension was trying to improvise, and suddenly the kazoo duet rang out again. This time, they were playing a full-blown victory tune (which one would recognize from a certain popular game franchise). Dan pinpointed the source of the horrible music and marched over to a couple of bushes bordering the forest. The music stopped, there were a few squeals, and Dan was seen heading back, a satisfied look on his face. He hopped on top of Bob like he was some kind of ridable elephant. "Come on, Nose Man, let's go explore that forest before something else weird happens."

Bob waddled forward, he and his rider now with more insight as to what this world is made of.


This story must be updated daily if the unknown author is even thinking about getting it noticed. What has the popular world of Pokemon come to...?