Chapter 1 – Butters. (Cartman's Point of View)

Kenny swaggered into the bar with almost unnatural confidence. I could recognize his long blonde hair and sarcastic grin a mile off. Stan's hand was locked in his as he trailed behind Kenny. Stan was staring at the floor and Kenny had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, as usual. Both of them smiled as they saw me. It had been a long time. It was great to see the guys again.

"What's up Cartman!" Kenny jeered as he hugged me over one shoulder. I was surprised at his enthusiasm to see me, but it had been, what, nearly 10 years since we last saw each other.

"Hey dude, it's great to see you!" Stan called from behind Kenny. It was weird to see how much they had changed. Kenny had grown taller but was skinny as ever. Stan was only just shorter than Ken, but he had filled out more, not chubby, but not skinny either.

"Man, you look different! You actually aren't a fat ass anymore!" I laughed at Kenny's joke as we sat on the stools by the bar. I was actually exceptionally proud of myself for shifting the weight, as a kid I always had a problem with food. It used to be a way of escaping and making myself feel better, but since I was with Wendy, I didn't need to. Well, I thought it didn't need to.

"Yeah… They stopped selling Cheesy Poofs" I lied, and Stan giggled as he got a firm grip back onto Kenny's hand after he stubbed out his fag into a chipped glass ashtray.

"Anyway, enough about me. What's been happening with you guys? Since when have you faggots been going out?" I used the word 'faggots' lightly, just a joke. I felt lonely since I was with Wendy, I didn't want to piss them off.

"About a year now." Kenny said cautiously, I could see Stan's grip tightening on Kenny's hand. They were waiting for my snide remark, like I would have done back in school. "I thought you would have taken the piss by now?"

"Nah I'm a changed man dude. Wendy's got me a lot more 'open-minded' I think, though if I had it my way I would have called you a pair of arse fuckers by now. But today I'm not in the mood for it, I just got fired." I looked at the floor as I fished a cigarette out of my jeans pocket and fought with my zippo to light up but it just wouldn't spark.

"Piece of fucking crap" As I threw the zippo onto the bar table. Kenny and Stan laughed but ignored what I said.

"That sucks" Kenny spoke as he lit my cigarette with his cheap plastic lighter. " But the best solution to that kind of emotional problem is staring right in front of you."

Stan nervously laughed. "Trust you to refer to alcohol Ken!" I inhaled my cigarette and stood up.

"Sounds like a good idea to me, lets get fucking trashed!"