A/N: Strong T rating. Muse is still in a dark mood. Even more so since I just learned that a great childhood friend is in a coma…

Xxx XXX xxX

Nick was shocked beyond words. How? When? He racked his memory trying to find a piece of conversation, a note in a file, a brief sighting during duty… but nothing came to his mind. Nothing that would explain the scarring that seemed to viciously cling and distort every inch of her skin.

"They're boobs, they come two a set, every woman has them. Now beat it, bozo."

He looked at the female EMT that was rudely getting him out of the way. He felt his face burn with anger and shame at the same time. If he analyzed his actions coolly, he could understand perfectly why the paramedic had assumed he was ogling a downed coworker in a moment of need. Hell, he'd probably had beaten the shit out of the bastard if he had seen any other male behave as he had towards Sofia. Seething inwardly, he stepped aside and let the EMTs do their work.

"How is she?" he finally asked.

The female paramedic snorted and shook her head in disbelief. "The nerve of this asshole," she thought, "first he's visually raping her and then he remembers she's injured."

"Not as perky as she was this morning, but not as bad as she's been before… nothing that a full set of x-rays and an overnight stay at the hospital in order to monitor the concussion she surely has won't cure."

As she spoke, she was deftly and quickly settling Sofia on a stretcher and was by then ready to move on towards the ambulance. "You riding with her?"

Before Nick could answer, he heard Jim Brass' voice cutting in. "No. He'll ride with me. We'll be right behind."

Nick turned around, ready to give Brass a hard time for deciding things for him, but he saw his expression and the way he shook his head and managed to keep his temper on line for the time being. He went on to pick up his case as well as Sofia's equipment and got into the detective's vehicle without uttering a single word.

The rest of the ride was no better. Nick's mind kept going back to the scars he'd seen on her. They weren't childhood mementos, and from what he could see, it looked as if her face had been the only part of her body that had been spared by the fire. He was also shocked by the way she had behaved back there. God! It had taken him all his will power to walk down the stairs to the underground facility and not turn around and run away. He had barely managed to keep the rising panic attack building inside his chest under control. He was scarred, all right, except his were no longer perceptible to the eye. But Sofia… how had she managed to stay lying next to the car when she knew the fire was coming? By the looks of her scars, her suffering had been long and unmerciful. How could anyone willingly accept to go through the same thing twice?

Brass broke the silence.

"You're wondering how she does it, aren't you?"

The young CSI was taken aback and merely nodded.

"I've wondered the same thing myself. After all these years, the only logical conclusion I've been able to come to is that she's still brooding over why she didn't die. And maybe, at some very dark unconscious level, trying to finish the job."

Nick felt all his emotions reach boiling point. "She's not suicidal."

"Oh no, not suicidal, perhaps just… an unfulfilled death wish… or whatever crap gets associated to survivor's guilt these days."

"So she didn't..."

"Torch herself? Good heavens, Nick, no!"

Nick felt relief wash all over him. "Then… how…?"

Brass let out a heavy sigh. This was exactly the kind of conversation he had hoped never to have with any of the CSIs in Vegas, but deep inside he knew he was going to have to do it. A story like that cannot stay a hidden secret for long, and after a year and a half, he was surprised it hadn't surfaced before. Perhaps Ecklie had some inkling of humanity in him after all and had kept his promise. Fuck, it was the least he could do after the way they had treated Sofia.

"This isn't really my story to tell, but now that you've seen her, I guess it doesn't really matter who tells it in the end. It was some 6 or 7 years ago. Sofia was still a rookie patrolling the streets of Frisco. I was there at the time trying to save my marriage one more time, and since Capt. Curtis and I had been some kind of close on our youth I kept an eye on her baby girl."

Brass was keeping his eyes on the road and his tone impersonal, and despite himself, Nick couldn't help but wonder just how close "some kind" was. But he decided to keep quiet and keep things out of the gutter for the time being.

"The department had been tracking down a pyromaniac for the past 3 or 4 months. Sofia wasn't even working on the case. She should have never been there in the first place…"

Brass's voice faded and he got lost in the memories. The radio call. Arriving to the place. Realizing it was Sofia's car parked outside. The negotiations. Having had to shoot the bastard. Watching his goddaughter go up in flames.

And the smell…

"Brass?"

Nick's voice brought him back from his reverie.

"Erick Tyler was the detective in charge of the investigation and he had already piled up enough evidence against Hollows to get a warrant. He'd probably served him that morning and gotten him in a holding cell, except that he came down with a nasty cold, running fever and shivers included. Since he was the arresting officer the pick-up was put on hold until the next morning…"

The Texan man riding in the passenger side felt a thud in the pit of his stomach. He had the feeling that he wasn't going to like what was coming and, for a mere second or two, he was tempted to tell Brass to shut the hell up, that he didn't want to know, that he didn't care, that it was none of his business.

But it was, and he did, and he was going to hear the rest of the story, his soul be damned.

"But Hollows got to Tyler first. And by the time we got there… Tyler was dead, Sofia was being held hostage and Hollows had already emptied two cans of gas all over them. We warned him once and opened fire. He got six… seven rounds right on the chest. I thought it was over when I saw the body drop to the floor, but as soon as he hit the ground the whole place lit up."

"Jim… why was Sofia there?"

"She had dropped by after work with a thermos of chicken soup and some cold medication…"

Jim Brass took a deep breath.

"Nick… Sofia and Tyler were engaged at the time it happened."

Xxx XXX xxX

A/N: I was typing the last line I got a phone call from my sister. There's nothing left to do for Miguel, so his family decided earlier tonight to shut down life support first thing tomorrow morning. Needless to say, I won't be updating for a week or two. My apologies.