- Evilness has a new name -
A/N: Thanks a ton to my reviewers I mean ten reviews in three days I just had to update sooner then I usually do!!! I know its super funny so here goes my second chapter (with more stuff guys can do) so here it comes! the second chapter to HOW TO CHEAT WHEN ERAGON'S YOUR TEACHER

Disclaimer: still don't own much….although I totally agree with Du.Sundavar.Brisingr Eragon is totally HOT!!!!


Pills, I felt distraught the day I came up with a new and very evil thing to do to my teachers. It was extremely simple, I begged Angela to give me certain pills which I then dumped in both Eragon and Murtagh's drink.

When I went into class that morning both my teachers looked extremely uncomfortable "Eragon, Murtagh?" I asked "is everything alright?" I could barely keep the smile off my face, they where sitting in very awkward positions both struggling to remain sitting.

With gritted teeth Murtagh hissed "Go back to your room now before I bloody kill you!" and that was that.

Missing chalk board, Murtagh loved to right stuff on chalk boards so what do you do when he threatens to give you a huge test which your completely unprepared for? that's easy….steal the chalk board!

Murtagh waltzed into class just like he always does then instantly started glaring at me "Where is the chalk board?" he asked in a calm and very evil voice.

"I don't know" I replied in my innocent way, his hands curled into fists and, I swear, his eyes seemed to burst into flames.

When I left class I was covered in chalk from head to toe Murtagh had written all over me, I was regretting a little bit about steeling the chalk board but only because I now had to shower before going to Eragon's class.

Personal hygiene, Out in Eragon's garden I found myself extremely distracted, "Emerald" Eragon snapped, I jumped glaring at him.

"What?" I growled narrowing my eyes in a challenging way, that's when I got the idea "I haven't showered for two weeks" I said in a rush.

Eragon looked at me like I was an idiot "You what?" he asked, slowly a smile crept across my face and I whispered a spell under my breath, suddenly I smelled like horse poop.

"I haven't showered in two weeks" I repeated "does that bother you?" his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened quite a lot, I bet he could barely keep himself from covering his noise.

"Ery dear why do you look so surprised?" I asked. Eragon forced me to shower seven times that day and for about a month he would start the class by asking me if I'd showered or not.

Statue, it took a lot of work but I managed to create an exact replica of myself, I then placed it in Murtagh's class, I spent the day walking around playing with Tori doing stuff that was actually fun, while the whole I time I kept expecting both men to cry my name in pure irritation.

But it never happened.

I walked into view of where my classes take place to see both Eragon and Murtagh discussing something, I ran down the hill and joined them.

"How did you get out here so fast?" Eragon asked not exactly showing curiosity.

"You guys didn't figure it out did you?" I asked barely able to keep the smirk off my face.

"do the spell…" Murtagh trailed off giving me a scrutinizing glare "didn't figure what out?" he asked.

They crushed the statue of me both smiling cruelly as they did it, I was never again aloud to do something like that, and I had to do two lessons the next day.

Faces, I went outside joining Eragon in the grass, he began his lesson but the whole time I remained sitting away from him. "Emerald please" Eragon finally said, and when I turned around he yelped jumping to his feet.

My face was completely distorted with blood dripping out of my mouth my noise was running and huge, my eyes where crossed and blood shot and Eragon could not stop staring.

"What is it?" I asked more blood dripping from my mouth, Eragon blinked rapidly before saying.

"E-Emerald I-I think maybe y-you sh-should umm…" I then dropped the spell and Eragon let out a breath he had been holding.

Of course I was punished but it was worth the horrified expression on Eragon's face.

Tori goes puff, I blame this one purely on Murtagh forcing me into casting a spell that I had no idea how to do.

The next thing that happened was Tori who was looking in threw the huge windows went puff pink gas floated where she should have been "MURTAGH!" I screeched jumping to my feet "What did you do to her?"

We spent the next five days searching for her and when we found her she was flying upside down around and around in a huge cave, we had no idea why.

Needless to say we never tried that spell again, and plus Eragon and Murtagh gave me the day off so I could 're-bond' with Tori.

Dead, there is only one escape from Eragon and Murtagh when there both extremely angry at you, and that is death.

Eragon forced me to slip into a very uncomfortable saddle on Tori, and then sent us flying, I set the spell up quickly, the second we evened out I let out a gasp and let myself drop.

My mind was ripped from my body, I didn't feel anything but I watched the whole thing.

Both Eragon and Murtagh looked horrified when they couldn't make me wake up "She's dead" Murtagh said quietly.

The next two days I was laid in a bed, I could not for the life of me remember what the spell was to fix all this.

Eragon and Murtagh remained in a corner while a mixture of elves and humans offered condolences to my death, everybody mentioned what a good girl I was, and I began to wonder if I wasn't doing enough to show just the opposite.

Finally everything was set up for my funeral and they placed me in a coffin setting me up in a beautiful room with flowers everywhere, I stood next to my limp and very dead body still trying to figure out what the spell was.

Eragon, Murtagh, and Arya where leaning over my body looking at my closed eyes and gentle face when I remembered what the spell was.

I jumped up in down with pure joy, I screamed the spell out. My eyes snapped open and I sat up.

Arya actually screamed while both my teachers looked horrified, grateful, and angry Eragon the proceeded in fainting.

"I'm ALIVE!" yes I was alive but if Murtagh had anything to say about it I would soon truly be dead "Thank God!" I screamed again "You have no idea how hard that spell is" my hand flew to my mouth, Murtagh was now just angry at me and I was seriously in for it.

Counting my ABC's, everybody thought I was smart, and that I was extremely lucky to be being taught by Eragon and Murtagh, of course it was only natural that I didn't agree at all.

So when we where invited to dine with the Varden I decided I would show everybody just how great my teachers where. Eragon and Murtagh had taken there seats, in fact everybody was sitting.

I jumped to my feet and exclaimed "I cant count my ABC's!" I screamed "but my numbers can be sang!"

Everybody gasped, Murtagh's hand curled into a fist as his face clouded over with anger, Eragon looked quite distressed and everything was silent.

When I got back both Eragon and Murtagh forced me to memorize the alphabet in twenty different languages, and my numbers in four different languages, it was horrible but I was able to go threw with it remembering how distressed Eragon had looked.

Clothing, I was standing outside Eragon's room when I wondered how I could torture him outside the class room.

I opened his door charging in, I then proceeded in ripping apart all his clothes like an insane dog, I threw them through out the room randomly, then dumped water on all his socks.

I then left Eragon's room as it was Eragon caught on quite quickly, and to my anguish he was sitting in the grass with his clothes on looking completely normal.

I was quite disappointed but Eragon made sure I knew that he knew what I had done.


Okay please R&R more! Its great that so many people R&R on my first chapter and I would love twenty reviews! Oh and Emerald has green eyes. Just thought I might throw that out there, and if I wrote something contrary to that then ignore it and image Emerald with green eyes! So there it was...I hope your not sad or anything...I also hope you never stopped laughing just because I'm evil!