Chapter Two: Another of His Episodes

Kadaj & Yazoo

It was probably a good idea for him to sleep, but he just couldn't.

There was a lot of noise going on in this damned hotel. People talking, stomping up and down stairs, the banging of doors, a regular cacophony even for normal ears. Kadaj could hear it all much better, and it was driving him crazy.

Thankfully they would only be staying here for tonight, then they were heading to a new base, up on the North Continent, a place called the Forgotten City. It was supposed to be deserted. Ideal, really. They could also keep their Materia there. He wouldn't have to resort to hiding it in random forests with a Shadow Creeper as guard anymore. It always took a lot of his energy up, prolonging a Summon like that.

The Forgotten City was next, absolutely. And from there, they would continue the missions. Start rounding up the sufferers of Geostigma… get information on their traitorous brother, Cloud Strife, and ultimately… to find Mother for the reunion, of course.

Mother…?

All of the thoughts and reasoning that had kept him going for so long were slowly melting away tonight. Along with the sleep deprivation, he kept trying to remember who his Mother even was, or why they need to reunite with her… he didn't remember how he had gotten to this hotel, or why he was lying in an unnaturally soft bed trying to sleep.

Sometimes he felt like this. Only sometimes. The rest of the time, any feelings like this would be considered betrayal in his own mind. But at these times, his mind felt calm and blank, and perfectly free of whatever it was that he usually thought about so much... Whatever that was

Sighing heavily, he sat up in the bed, throwing off the covers and sliding into his boots. He stood up and silently walked to the door, passing a mirror on the way. As always when he was in this mood, Kadaj marvelled at his own appearance. A strange sort of outfit, all black leather and zippers and straps. Not like normal clothes at all. And his hair was strange, too. Silver and very fine.

He shook his head in amazement, before quietly exiting the room.

Yazoo sat up in his own bed and stared at the door with a grim look on his face. So Kadaj was having another of his … episodes.

Just occasionally he would get like this… he would forget who he really was, and what they were all working so hard for. He didn't know who Mother was. He barely even knew his own brothers…

When he was like this, he wasn't angry or agitated at all, which were his most dominant moods when he was normal. But the sad thing was that, when he was like this… without the influence of Mother… he seemed to be a calmer person. More relaxed, and just kind of curious. Though still very ill-tempered at times, just… less so than usual.

Over time, his episodes had gotten less and less frequent, and less dramatic when they did happen. Yazoo had always had a hard job keeping it a secret from Loz. Yazoo was the only one of the three who really understood the youngest brother's mood swings… if that was what they were. Whenever he was back to normal, Yazoo always felt too hesitant to mention it to Kadaj.

Only once or twice had Kadaj himself acknowledged it. He said the phases were 'unpleasant', but 'tolerable', and that he never did anything too dangerous. He just went out, and looked at objects or people or buildings. Just curious. And it was over soon. He talked about it like it was just a random kind of wanderlust.

Yazoo wondered if he was lying on purpose, or if he really didn't remember at all. Because he knew very well what his brother did during his episodes. He went out, yes, and looked at things with his strange curiosity, yes. But he also talked to people. He followed them. He spoke to them like old friends.

And then he came back… and never said a word about it.

Well, this was probably his first episode for about six months now… and the last one had lasted only a few hours, right? So there was no need to follow Kadaj now. He wouldn't do anything stupid. He never did.

Trying to reassure himself of these things, Yazoo rolled over and fell back asleep.