Yoshiki detected a hint of morning breath as he woke up. He flipped open his phone to check the time. Thursday, April 4th, 2007 - 7:10 AM. Thursday was the latest day he went to school. He has skipped ever since, but today a thought crossed his mind. A thought to go to school. I mean, there has to be a point if I passed that entrance exam, right?
He took advantage of the time he woke up at to get ready to head off to school. The routine was the same aside from the clothing. He had donned the Kisaragi dark grey gakuran, unbuttoned. Over top of it was the white shirt that was also part of the dress code. The delinquent envied foreign country school systems, since some of them don't have a specific school uniform. He always hated following orders.
Making his way to the school along the familiar path he had walked on a few days ago as the route to Kisaragi, he suddenly remembered that the first period was PE. Since he became out of shape over the summer, he wouldn't do too well in that particular subject. Furthermore, he had no idea of the PE unit that his class was doing anyway but that was the nature of his life; having no clue about what's going on has always been a reason in his life.
Entering the school and making his way to his homeroom after changing shoes, the bell rang and he was seated in the familiar spot that he was once seated on the first day of high school. It practically became his bed in the two days that he had come to school. Some eyes were laid on him as he began to close his eyes to start his sleeping routine.
But it wasn't long until he heard the well-known voice of his teacher. "What's the matter, Kishinuma? You've been absent for three days in a row."
Yoshiki merely glanced up at his teacher and shrugged before returning to snooze off. Hosokawa wasn't surprised at all, really; he had dealt with these types of students before. Sighing, he turned to the attendance sheet to mark him as present for today with a checkbox, catching sight over at the other three empty boxes from the past days of school.
As the bell rang, Yoshiki woke up for the second time and followed his classmates to the gym. In the change room, he switched his uniform into the school's gym strip—it wasn't anything special, just a white Kisaragi t-shirt with basketball shorts. There were also tracksuits as well if it got cold.
Looking around and noticing nobody was nearby, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Taking out a single-stick, he stowed the rest of the pack in his bag and put the cigarette in his mouth. After lighting it and inhaling, he felt the familiar head rush enter and engulf him with the sense of calm as he exhaled.
"Are you smoking in there?" a voice inquired, sounding irritated from the smell.
Quickly turning, he recognized his PE teacher, Mr. Tsubota, standing in the change room with him.
"Well... uh," he stammered.
"You're that Kishinuma guy, right? The guy who skipped the ceremony?" he said, a slight grin forming on his face.
Yoshiki was a bit confused at first at his words. There was only one ceremony, right? "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't know what ceremony you're talking about."
The grin quickly faded and turned into a frown. "Are you serious?" Tsubota snapped. "Are you saying that you didn't know? You know the entrance ceremony."
So that's that Yoshiki missed on Thursday. That's why everyone else was dressed in their uniforms and heading to the gym. He thought there was only one ceremony to go to. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know," he replied, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Well, well," the teacher said, chuckling, "I think the both of us are going to get along just fine. Now, if you smoke again, you'll be facing expulsion. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir," Yoshiki sighed, dumping away the cigarette in his hand.
"Now, go join the rest of your class,"—he motioned towards the exit—"they're waiting."
The day went on normally for him after that little debacle. He hated his PE teacher; in fact, Yoshiki would even go far as to consider Tsubota as the worst teacher he had so far. Math and English came by in his second and third periods and it was soon turned into lunch hour.
Ayumi was sitting on one of the cafeteria benches with her cafeteria food, which was a chicken and egg dish. It was a seemingly plain cafeteria entrée. Naomi and Seiko were not far from her, talking about the start of high school. It's only been three days since they started high school. Suddenly, Satoshi came up and joined them after waiting in line to buy his lunch.
"Did you hear about that Kishinuma guy?" Satoshi began. Ayumi's eyes perked up at the mention of his name.
Naomi glanced over to him. "Yeah, he was the one that skipped the ceremony right?"
Satoshi merely nodded. Ayumi who had listened to their conversations suddenly started talking.
"You know, I don't really understand why some people are like that."
Seiko giggled. "Hehe, and some people don't understand why I'm like this—"
"Ah, Seiko, what are you—" Seiko leaned over to Naomi and proceeded to grab her chest and hugged her tightly. Naomi quickly pushed her off, her cheeks red from the sudden outburst. The fact that her friends and some other people are looking didn't help the situation.
Seiko leaned in close to Naomi's ear. "Look at Mochida. Won't you think he's a bit… jealous?" she whispered, grinning.
Ayumi shook her head while Satoshi scratched his head at the scene that was presented. Naomi's blush was getting redder and redder.
"N-no," Naomi stammered. Seiko winked at Naomi at her reply and continued on with her lunch casually.
Ayumi was eager to know who this Kishinuma person was. "He's a blonde, right?"
"Yep. Bleached I bet," Satoshi said.
Ayumi started to think back and recognized him. He was that blonde guy that she had walked by so many times before. Sighing, she turned back to her lunch when suddenly she noticed from the big glass window in the cafeteria something falling from the roof. Dismissing it as a leaf, she started to eat her sandwich.
Yoshiki blinked and let out a dry cough as he exhaled the fumes from the cigarette. He threw away the cigarette down from the roof of the building. He got up from leaning on the handrail and looked around. It was a nice view of the city from the roof. This is where he'd always been every lunch hour at Kisaragi. His blonde hair and his loose school uniform were whipped around in the sudden breeze of the spring weather. I feel like I should do something instead of slacking off all the time…
The lunch period ended and Yoshiki decided to go to his 4th and 5th period classes. After all, he hadn't seen a lot of the class work since he skipped two class days already. The first period in his afternoon was science, something he could never care about. The last one, however, was a socials or a history class; Yoshiki couldn't really decide which subject it was. It was taught by his homeroom teacher—Oda Hosokawa— who had been hot on his case ever since he arrived to high school.
The lesson began with a textbook reading about the modern society of Japan, and then some assigned in-class questions. Yoshiki, like how he did in science, eventually fell asleep. Hosokawa noticed him sleeping in the back and he decided to settle the problem. He started to walk up the aisle of desks over to his seat.
"Kishinuma," he began. Yoshiki jolted up at his sudden voice and opened his eyes.
"Yes, sir..?"
"Stay with me after school. You and I need to have a little chat." The teacher then returned to his front desk.
Yoshiki sighed in defeat and went back to sleep, still neglecting the work assigned on the board. It's only his second day here and he's already on the radar of two teachers. He couldn't do anything right. School was so boring to him and he didn't know what to do. None of the clubs really seem appealing to him either.
As school ended at 3:50 PM after cleaning and another homeroom block, Yoshiki had done what his teacher told him and stayed after school. His shift in the music store started later on Wednesdays so he was able to stay behind for some time.
When Hosokawa was sure the room was empty, he closed the door and sat beside Yoshiki. "So,"—he had an unusually calm demeanour—"is there something going on at home? What's the problem here?" he asked.
Yoshiki ran a hand through his hair. "Well… my parents… they kicked me out over the summer, so I have to live on my own." he said, nervously. He had never talked about this subject to anyone else other than his family. He decided it was best to tell the truth.
Hosokawa nodded at his response, and Yoshiki kept talking. "I'm just… not interested in school. There's nothing for me to do." he stated.
"I see. Well, I think that's good enough for me. You can go now," Hosokawa said with a dismissive wave.
Yoshiki was relieved at the fact that he didn't yell at him. He was just starting to get up and head for the door when his teacher suddenly spoke again.
"I'll be looking forward to see your parents at the conferences in June," he said, "it's our first conference to be held at this school." There was a slight hint of a grin on his face.
Yoshiki nodded. "Yeah, I bet," he replied, sarcastically. He proceeded to close the door as he stepped out into the empty hallway.
He stepped out into the outdoor land of the academy grounds and looked around. He took out his pack of cigarettes and took one out. Proceeding to shield the lighter from the wind with his hand, he lit the cigarette and stood there on the stairs of the entrance way, deep in thought.
Conferences, he thought. I guess we'll see what my parents think very soon, hehe. He took a long drag at his next round and exhaled deeply into the cool air. It was still early April when spring is still fairly cold. Summer's coming up soon, so what will I do over the summer?
6:00 PM. Ayumi put away her cellphone and walked out of the art room. She'd just finished drawing alongside her art club friends and was headed for home when suddenly she remembered to ask Yoshiki's homeroom teacher. She crept along into the hallway that listed all the first year homerooms. "1-3... 1-4… Ah, here it is. 1-5."
Hosokawa was quietly working on the computer when he noticed a knocking coming from the door. "Come in," he called out. The door slid open to show a blue-haired girl with two pigtails, suited in the school's uniform for girls. "Ah, you must be the 1-3 class representative," he said, recognizing her from the speech she made. "What can I do for you?"
Ayumi shifted nervously. "Well, I've come to ask about Kishinuma."
The teacher chuckled. "Kishinuma, the one who's always sleeping," he began. "He's not a normal high schooler, I'll tell you that."
"What do you mean, exactly?" She crossed her arms.
Hosokawa thought back to the words Yoshiki said to him earlier. "He has family troubles. He lives on his own."
That explained a lot of things for Ayumi. She would've never had the courage to ask him directly about his life. She muttered a quick thank you and turned around and stepped out, closing the door behind her.
Yoshiki had just finished work and stopped by a McDonald's on the way home for his dinner. He did enjoy the taste of burgers and fries. Climbing up the stairs to his apartment on the second floor, he walked over to his door and unlocked it. When he was inside, he shut the door and locked it. Changing out of his uniform and back into casual clothing, he went over to the couch and sat there. He grabbed the remote with his left and switched on the TV while his right had a cheeseburger in his hand.
There wasn't really anything interesting on, so he shut the TV off after finishing his meal to clean up. Walking into his room, he picked up his guitar and plucked a few notes. The ambience of his apartment made him feel lonely and he started to play Prelude in C Minor by Barrios. He always hated barre chords, they always made his wrist feel weak after doing them. You know, if school had a guitar club, I would at least find a purpose there.
He drifted his eyes off towards the window. It had turned dark over the course of five hours and the streets lay black in the night, lit up by the street lamps. Hehe, I don't know myself, is that right? Sure, Yoshiki would consider himself as a delinquent at school. He could never be successful, could he? People say that if you believe in yourself, they will be successful. People say you don't need to be "popular" to get a good college degree.
A college degree. Is that what he wanted to aim for? He always hated to read music anyway. That's the thing. Yoshiki doesn't know what to do in his first year. He doesn't. There wasn't anything for him to show interest in. Maybe there was something, a specific way to life the high school life to get through…
"Hey, Sis, you there?" Ayumi was at her sister's room, waiting at the door for a response.
"Hmm? Yeah, I'm here. Come on in."
Ayumi proceeded to open the door and walked in her room, slouching over on her way in. She noticed her sister sitting at her table, three candles lit up around the room. The eerie sound of crickets chirped on through the night.
"I see you slouching those tiny shoulders of yours. What's the matter?"
Ayumi looked up at Hinoe to reveal to her that she had tears in her eyes.
"Your cute little face is all stained with tears!" She motioned for Ayumi to come over. "Come on over. Let's hear it."
Ayumi ran over to her sister sitting in her chair and groaned. She then suddenly embraced her sister.
"So, did you just want some quiet affection, or do you want to talk about it?" Hinoe asked, taken aback by her sister's sudden emotions.
"...I want to ask you something," Ayumi sniffled.
"Oh? Alright then. Ask away."
"It's about your work," she started, briefly pausing. "How old were you when you decided this is what you wanted to do?"
Hinoe smiled. "Hmm… Good question. I guess… I was around your age, Ayumi."
"Were you… sure that it's what you wanted to do?"
"I was. Because I—" she hesitated for a moment, "I trusted that a higher power was guiding me." She glanced around at some of the candles. "There were certainly a lot of people opposed to the idea… heh, but I guess you knew that already, since you were there! Heehee…"
Ayumi remembered the time when her sister had skeptical comments thrown about her job. It was a rather crazy one at that. "You're really awesome, you know that, Sis?" she remarked. "I… don't have a lot of faith in my abilities. No matter what I do, I can never seem to bring myself to take that first step."—Ayumi was trying to hold back tears as she spoke—"It just… scares me…"
Hinoe started her usual philosophical talk, the type that she's known for. "Self-confidence… Such a complex, vital thing, yet so deceptively simple-sounding. I know you have it in you, Ayumi, to do great things. I've seen your true potential blossoming for a long time now." She closed her eyes as she recalled her memories of her sister. "It's a skill you've honed from trial after trial, hardship after hardship. All of which you've overcome through sheer force of will. But, what good are your accomplishments if you don't believe in yourself?"
Hinoe noticed the change of feeling in her sister as they continued to embrace in each other's arms. "You are Ayumi, the budding illustrator—always drawing in hopes that one day, your dream can become true. Ayumi, the dedicated…"—she suddenly remembered what their parents had told Ayumi—"Ayumi, the rebel… never letting Mom and Dad convince you to 'choose a more stable occupation,' no matter how many times they try." She paused to notice Ayumi's change in expression. "Ayumi, the dreamer… continuing to draw beautiful works of art, with such excitement and fire in those cute little eyes of yours. You know what I think? I think there's still another Ayumi hiding in there somewhere. An Ayumi with something bothering her."
"Mmm," Ayumi mumbled, thinking of the right things to say.
Hinoe decided it's now time to let her sister do the talking. "You can come on out now, troubled one. Let's hear what's on your mind."
Ayumi began. "There are…"—she choked on her tears—"There are so many people who are so much better than I am! If you look on the net, they're everywhere… Thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of really good illustrators. It's all really disheartening, you know?" She remembered the amount of detail in the illustration of one of her club mate's. "It's like, no matter how much skill and luck I've got, I just keep thinking… they're my competition…"
Ayumi slowly worked her way out from her sister's embrace and went over to lie on her bed and closed her eyes, fatigued from admitting her feelings. They both remained in silence until her sister started talking.
"I have a friend who draws pictures for a living, actually," she began, "and she wouldn't be where she is today if she hadn't taken some initiative. The only way to get ahead in life and achieve your dreams… is to take action." Ayumi quietly sniffled on the bed. Her sister then picked up a book from her table and walked over to Ayumi. "Have you heard of this girl before?" She motioned to the book she was holding. "She's been making waves in the field of paranormal research, and is a pretty well-respected author to boot," she explained, handing the book over to Ayumi.
Ayumi was having trouble with the name. "Hmm… how do you read the characters in her name? Saeno...ki?"
"Saenoki Naho," Hinoe corrected her sister. "She's been putting out book after book just like this for some time now, making a name for her in the process." She paused for a moment. "Not only has she earned the respect of her peers, but literary circles are saying she's a strong contender for winning this term's Akutagawa award."
Ayumi was amazed at hearing this. She was very impressed by the amount of effort this one person can make and get nominated for such an important award.
"The most interesting part, though," she added, "is that she's about the same age as you, Ayumi."
"Mm? Mmm…" Ayumi was stunned to hear that fact. Maybe she could achieve what she thought before was impossible. She started to get up from the bed.
Hinoe's soothing voice continued. "What's more is, she didn't learn her writing or problem-solving skills from any teacher. No, apparently she just kept on writing stories and essays until she was satisfied. Because for her, writing is pure, fun and simple.
Ayumi opened her eyes. "Fun, huh…"
"You need to have faith," she reminded, "Never forget why you got into illustration in the first place… and if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Hinoe started to smile once more. "I struggle with this sort of thing all time time, but I just keep reminding myself that this is what I was meant to do. It's what I love, hehe…"
Ayumi had it decided and set in her mind. She stood up from the bed. "Okay, Sis," she started.
"Hmm?"
"You win. I'm going to keep at it… until I become a full-on professional!" Ayumi was determined to do so. After all, that Naho girl is her age and the amount of success she had now… she was determined to take that starting action.
Hinoe smiled. "That's the spirit," she said cheerfully.
"And you know what else?" Ayumi stated. "This contemporary of mine… Naho, was it? Mark my words…" She hesitated; her blue eyes showed that she was fantasizing. "One day, I'm going to be the girl they contract to design the cover of one of her books."
"Are you now? Well, that sounds fantastic," Hinoe said proudly. "I'll be awaiting that day with bated breath. I'll show your book to all my clients and say, 'Look at this! My little sister drew it! Isn't it wonderful?' "
Ayumi was blushing at that thought. "So you'll… support me?"
"Of course," she replied, noticing her sister's drastic change in tone. She had cried a few minutes ago, and now…
Ayumi suddenly ran up to her sister and began hugging her again. "I love you so much, Sis!" she cried, tears of joy in her eyes. They both giggled. She was determined to make it, to put that foot down on the first step. She had a dream now, a dream that her parents couldn't stop no matter how hard they tried. That Ayumi with something bothering her was now gone.
"I'll always be rooting for you, Ayumi…"
