Left Behind
SPOILER ALERT!: Spoilers for Ch. 328! You have been warned!
Summary: "War doesn't determine who is right and who is wrong, only who is left behind."
Genre: Drama
Rating: K
Author Notes: So I've decided to continue this story…go me?
Disclaimer: Me not own Naruto, please don't sue.
Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors…blah…blah…blah. Please R&R…Thanks!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rain pours heavily as thunder crashes over head. The sun's rays desperately try to penetrate the clouds' thick barrier but its attempt fails miserably.
A figure, one lonely Jounin, is crouched before the Memorial Stone. His body is hidden in shadows, barely discernable from its surroundings.
A new name was added to the Memorial Stone yesterday. A death no one saw coming, a death no one thought could ever happen. A death that I know the man before me believes is his fault. Another death to add to his subconscious, a memory of a friend he will never be able to forget.
I often wonder how he's managed to avoid walking down the path of revenge. Most people, if they were in his shoes, would wish to avenge the deaths that he has had to deal with.
"It was suppose to be me," his cracking voice cuts through the cold wind, "I refused the mission because I had to train Naruto."
This isn't the first time I've seen him cry.
"It was the first mission I've ever refused," the rain hides his tears; keeps his dignity intact.
The rain also hides my tears. Sandaime's son is a shinobi worthy of tears, a shinobi worthy of grief and sadness. A shinobi worthy of memory.
"No on could've predicted this," I reply in a pitiful attempt to comfort the broken Jounin.
"It should be my name," he whispers as a flash of lightening causes strange shadows to dance across his body.
The rain and wind distorts sound, causes his voice to rise and fall in pitch at random intervals.
"This isn't right," he chokes out between his sobs, "this has never been right."
"War doesn't determine who is right and who is wrong, only who is left behind," I shove my hands into my pockets.
We fall into silence. Broken only by the sound of the rain and the thunder that crashes overhead. Water soaks my clothes, sends chills up my spin. I turn around and walk away. I'm not like Kakashi, I can't stay out here and grieve without feeling the affects of nature. He, on the other hand, becomes blind to all that his around him when he's like this – when his emotions take over.
"Jiraiya-senpai," his shattered voice reaches my ears, barely audible. I stop walking.
"Take care of Naruto," he mutters, "Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid...and keep an eye on Sakura too."
"You better not go and do anything stupid yourself," I reply, "He wouldn't want you to give up now. Not after all he gave up to save you."
I begin walking away again. Away from this broken soul and tortured mind. Asuma gave up so much to keep Kakashi alive and yet in the end it's Asuma that may kill him. I don't know who this death will affect more; Kurenai or Kakashi?
I'd say it will affect Kurenai more in the short-term but Kakashi more in the long-term. Kurenai will move on, Kurenai will remember but will find closure somehow. Kakashi will never forget and never find closure. Grief will be a harsh reminder for Kurenai while guilt will tear Kakashi apart.
I made a promise to Sakumo to look after Kakashi, to make sure he takes care of himself. I made a promise knowing full well that I will never be able to fulfill it. Kakashi will never let himself be helped, Kakashi will never let others take care of him. Kakashi would rather suffer alone then let anyone else help him.
Yet somehow Asuma managed to break through Kakashi's barrier. It was Asuma that has kept Kakashi alive all these years. And Asuma never made a promise to look after Kakashi…Asuma wasn't bonded to Kakashi through Sakumo.
In the end it was the one that wasn't forced to help Kakashi who helped with him. Maybe Kakashi knew all along that Sarutobi cared for him because of a promise he made Sakumo. Maybe Kakashi knows that I made the same promise to Sakumo. He probably does – Kakashi doesn't miss details like that.
Kakashi knows I made the same promise that Sakumo did. And Kakashi knows that I, along with Sarutobi, failed to fulfill that promise. But Asuma didn't. Asuma fulfilled the promise that he didn't even make.
Asuma is the sole reason that Copy nin Kakashi is still alive. Asuma is the sole reason that the son of Konoha's White Fang is still breathing, still protecting Konoha.
Asuma is dead.
Who will Kakashi live for now? Who will keep him breathing? Who will keep that faint spark of desire burning inside of him? He's lost everything again, just like when he was fourteen…when Yondaime died.
Asuma's death is tragic in itself. But Asuma's death might just bring upon Kakashi's death. And Kakashi's death might just bring upon the fall of Konoha and the success of Akatsuki.
I shake my head slightly to try and clear my thoughts. Asuma was always the shadow behind Kakashi. The one who kept Kakashi alive but got none of the glory or recognition. Even in death I'm still more concerned about Kakashi than anyone else. I'm worried about Kakashi's possible death instead of recognizing and grieving Asuma's passing.
Kakashi is the one with all the glory…Asuma was just the shadow behind him – the pillar of strength.
Maybe it's about time I fulfill that promise I made Sakumo. Maybe it's about time I become that pillar of strength for Kakashi.
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Author's Notes: When Jiraiya says, "War doesn't determine who is right and who is wrong, only who is left behind," it is a play on the Bertrand Russell quote, "War does not determine who is right – only who is left."
