"Arggh, bloody hell"
He woke in a nightmarish, hungover fog. The events of the prior night swam around his head like ghastly specters. He rubbed his throbbing head as he sat up. The stark, early morning light illuminated the calamity of his rented room. He vaguely remembered trying to drown his misery with rum upon returning. The current state of his room filled in the missing details.
How the hell did I not wake the whole damn place?
He saw empty bottles scattered on the floor, broken bottles by the wall, his few belongings tossed about. He suddenly noticed the bloody, aching knuckles on his right hand.
What the hell did I punch last night?
He recalled the freewheeling abandon he used to find when he drank. Last night, however, it would not come. The place he found at the bottom of that bottle was among the saddest and tortured he'd been since Milah died.
He had had centuries of practice not giving a damn, of shoving the pain away. It worked well until he met Emma. She tore down his defenses, leaving him exposed and bleeding. Before her, he could kill a man without so much as a blink of an eye. Now, everything he had known felt so wrong. She was melting his blackened heart and making him believe he could be good once again.
As he tried to wrestle himself out of this drowsy stupor, his impending departure came to the front of his mind. There was a lot he needed to prepare and he had no motivation to do any of it.
BANG BANG BANG
Shit. Who the hell could that be?
Feeling immensely more terrible upon standing, he made his way unsteadily to the door. When he caught sight of his reflection in a mirror, he was shocked. His face was ashen, his eyes glassy and bloodshot, and he noticed new nicks and scratches all over his body (no doubt from his own surrogate appendage). He looked like he was only half alive.
BANG BANG BANG
He gave no reply. Instead he crept soundlessly to the door and looked through the peep hole.
Emma.
He definitely did not have the strength to face her in that moment. He feared if he let her in, he'd stay forever. He reminded himself it was all for her. He needed to do this for her.
BANG BANG BANG
"Hook! I know you're in there. Open up, dammit!"
He clenched his fist at his side. She was making this impossible.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
"Open the door or I'll open it for you, either way, I'm coming in!"
He raised his eyebrows. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was she going to break down the door? He wondered what was so urgent. Bracing himself, he opened the door abruptly.
Emma was standing there and from her posture he guessed that she was preparing to levy some serious force upon his door. Hook stood in the doorway, his body deliberately blocking her view of his room. When she caught sight of him, she was uncharacteristically speechless. He guessed it was because of his haggard appearance paired with his current state of undress. Under any other circumstance, he would've said one of the half dozen flirtatious innuendoes which passed through his mind, but not today.
He leaned against the door jam, his hook around the doorknob.
"You certainly know how to wake a man up."
Her eyes were still roaming over his body, trying to make sense of its strange condition.
"It's 1 in the afternoon, what were you doing?"
He tried his best to appear nonchalant.
"Trying to sleep, before you threatened to kick my bloody door down."
As she continued to assess him, her irritation was quickly being replaced by concern. "What happened last night?"
"Seems like a rather personal question- "
"I thought I heard loud noises and glass breaking. It sounded like you were fighting with someone."
His heart skipped a beat. She was infuriatingly perceptive.
"Must've been from another room, love"
"I was worried when I didn't see you this morning, I thought something happened to you."
"And yet here I am, right as rain."
Though he had become skilled at deception, as he stood before Emma, his hollow voice betrayed him.
"Right.."
Her brows were still furrowed as she looked at him suspiciously.
He could tell she wasn't buying his story but for now she would let it drop. She paused for another moment.
"I was wondering if you could watch Henry again this afternoon for a few hours. I have magic training with Regina again."
He rubbed his temple as she spoke.
"Perhaps his grandparents would like to spend some time with him?"
She was caught off guard by his response and he could tell she was getting more and skeptical of him. She paused for a moment, conceivably a bit hurt by his reluctance.
"Mary Margaret isn't feeling well today. David is staying home to take care of her."
That was it. He couldn't offer any more excuses without completely arousing her suspicion. He tried to add some cheerfulness to his tone.
"Right then. You can drop him by in about an hour."
"Sounds good."
He could hear the touch of apprehension in her voice. As Hook turned back into his room, Emma stepped a bit closer.
"Killian,"
He met her earnest gaze.
"You can tell me anything."
How he wished that were true.
"Are we going on your boat again today?"
Hook looked down at the young boy walking beside him.
"Something like that. Before we do, however, I need to gather a few things in town."
The captain needed to buy some supplies if he was going to journey to another far away land and he had limited time to do it. His only option was to bring the boy along and try to be an inconspicuous as possible. Purchases of food rations and nautical supplies went unquestioned by the boy; It was only when they arrived at Gold's pawn shop that Killian noted some suspicion in Henry's eyes. He told him to wait outside for a moment while he took care of some business. Hook needed to procure protective measures to at least give himself a shadow of a chance at escaping Zelena. Upon exiting Gold's shop, Killian could practically hear the questions bouncing around in Henry's mind but he never asked. Instead, Henry remained mostly quiet as they made their way to the docks.
A part of Killian was glad to have the boy with him as he prepared the ship to go. Aside from being helpful, he was good company. Being on a vessel with the lad reminded him so much of the time he spent with his father, Bae, when he was a boy. Hook smiled inwardly at the thought of teaching Henry everything he knew about sailing before remembering with bitterness that this would be the last time he would see him. His heart ached. He hadn't forgotten how eager he had been to raise Baelfire as his own son after Milah died and how tragic it had been to see him go. Killian firmly reminded himself that it was for the boy and his mother's safety that he was leaving.
"Henry m'boy, do you remember the knots we worked on last time?"
Henry nodded.
"D'you think you could give me a hand in tying a few?" The captain held out the length of rope he had in his right hand.
As the two of them worked, Killian noticed Henry's gaze lingering on his left hand which was next to useless. He was not used to wearing the prosthetic. Having had a lot of practice, he found his hook to be a relatively helpful appendage, however, it was a great deal too problematic to have to explain away.
When his curiosity became too much to bear, Henry blurted out, "Killian, what happened to your hand?"
Without thinking, Hook replied with waning but ever present venom, "The crocodile-"
He stopped himself, "A crocodile absconded with it many years ago."
He saw the boy's eyes widen in horror and disbelief.
"Like Captain Hook?"
Killian was momentarily frozen at the sound of his own title. Was Henry starting to remember? He tried not to look alarmed and did his best to feign ignorance.
"Captain who?" He replied gruffly.
Henry looked dumbfounded.
"Haven't you ever read Peter Pan?"
Ah, he had almost forgotten. He vaguely recalled Emma talking about the story of Peter Pan most children in this land were familiar with. Hiding his true identity from Henry was proving a challenge, especially given his apparent familiarity with fairy tale characters. It also didn't help that the boy was inquisitive and very clever.
The real pirate captain cleared his throat as he scratched his ear.
"Afraid not m'boy."
As Hook turned to continue inspecting the readiness of the boat, he spotted Emma striding toward them. Henry saw her too.
"Hey mom!" Henry dropped what he was doing and started down off the boat toward Emma.
"Hey kid," She smiled down at Henry as she ruffled his hair. "How was your day?"
"Good," He smiled back at her.
"We better get moving, Mary Margaret and David invited us over for dinner. Grab your things and we'll go."
As Henry grabbed his coat from the ship, Emma approached the captain. "Thanks again, Killian." She smiled gently.
There was so much he wanted to tell her.
"I would do anything for you Miss Swan."
His expression remained dark. He wanted her to feel the depth of what would be his final words to her.
She opened her mouth as if to say something but words failed her. Her reverie was broken as Henry clamored off the ship.
"Ready mom?"
She turned her attention back to Henry. "What do you say?"
"Thanks Killian!"
The pirate smiled weakly down at the boy.
"My pleasure."
"I'll see you later Killian," She casually remarked as she moved to leave.
"Farewell Emma"
Thank you all for the reviews! Your encouragement is very appreciated. If you like what you see, continue to read and review, thanks!
Stay tuned for chapter 3 - it's about to get real dramatic up in here! ;)
