Sansa's POV
I wake to the door being thrown open. Lurching me up to the sight of Rickon. Small and frowning Rickon. "Why didn't I know we were all sleeping in sisters' room?" He demands hurt as my eyes drift to where Robb and Jon now sit facing him with shaking hands. No doubt after yesterday it was quite a freight to wake that way. Arya stretches beside me unfazed, as I bound from the bed. Noting someone removed my shoes. Running forward I pull Rickon up into a tight hug.
"Did you not get the Raven little Stark." I sing song as I tickle him. My heart thrumming for the first time in happiness as this reality becomes more solid under my feet. They are all alive, we can save them. I will save them.
"SANSA." He laughs squirming in my arms making me laugh with him. I set him down looking him over once more. You are terribly handsome brother." I say making him blush.
"I am not." He reply's indignant making me smile once more before I push his locks back from his face. So young…. so full of life. His face scrunches before looking to Robb.
"Robb will you come ride with me?" His small voice makes my heart surge once more.
"Oh. Oh, I'll ride." Arya demands like a child she appears to be instead of the woman I have come to know. I gaze upon them thinking of all the things I missed out on in my younger years preparing to be a queen.
"Not today brother." Robb says softly making me frown. I raise a brow at Arya and a smile spreads across her face. Teach me to play sister.
"Come little Stark I will ride with you." I say making him whirl to look at me in disbelief.
"But Sansa you're a lady." He sputters out as if I just grown another head. I was a terrible bore as a girl.
"Not today brother. Jump on." I turn giving him my back. I force his hand over my shoulder as he laughs when I raise with his little body on my back. The smile that crosses my face hurts as he finally holds onto me. My wonderful baby brother.
"Now we must beat Arya to the best horse if we are to win. So, hold on tight." I say dramatically hearing Arya laugh as she tears past me out the door. I give a small curtsey to the smiling faces of Robb and Jon making Rickon laugh at the antics before running after Arya. She is way ahead of me but the wildness I feel in this moment is so freeing I forget all that we are tasked with. People are jumping back as we race down the stairs calling for us to slow down. I take a short cut through a door making more people shriek with my antics. Rickon is peeling with laughter in my ear. This feels nice.
"NO." Arya yells as we burst in front of her. Her laughter ringing out over Rickons as we see the stables come into view.
"Hurry Sansa. Hurry." Rickons little legs urge me forward through the door to the largest horse in the stable. Shoving Rickon upon it in a flurry he squeals about a saddle, but I know Arya will not wait for one, I push up the fence of the stall as he holds onto the mare's hair for dear life. I clamber on behind him. Luckily the reins are still on as I push him forward to grab them. He laughs once more when I place him between my legs, onto my bunched skirts as my bare legs grip the horse. Arya flies from the stables without a word.
"Hold tight." I say rushing the horse forward. I hadn't ridden barefoot in my life; I haven't done anything barefoot in my life, but I get the hang of it as the we burst from the stables after Arya. Always chasing you sister.
"WE'RE COMING ARYA!" Rickon screams with delight, making me laugh. I see her veering towards the Godswood and catch sight of my father watching us. I turn to smile and see mother, Robb and Jon stand beside him. Fathers sad face smiling at us, but my mothers face seems to break into tears once more and the laughter leaves me. Even as Rickon rocks, laughing and I hold us steady. My heart hurts for her, for all she had to hear.
"I" LL KEEP HIM SAFE MOTHER." I call watching her face slacken in some form of relief bucking the horse to ride faster. I will her to hear all that I can't say. I love you, don't cry. I smile at her with all the happiness I feel in this carefree moment before we disappear into the Godswood after Arya. I will away the troubles ahead for a moment of play with those I love.
Jon's POV
I watch them well into the night even as sleep has claimed Arya. I carry her to the bed placing her down beside Sansa as Robb removes Sansas shoes. We look to each other in exhaustion before falling onto the floor wordlessly. It occurs to me that father…. Uncle told me at their behest. They knew in the future. Sansa knows my aunt. Sleep takes me in a fit full of raging dragons and circling wolves. Arya's voice echoing terrors as fires consumes our home. The bang of the door tears me off the floor with a thundering heart. I watch Rickon, not hearing his words as Sansa whirls the boy around more happiness than I ever remember seeing upon her face.
The way she holds him speaks more than I care to know. It's only confirmed when she brushes his hair from his face as if trying to memorize him. Rickon died too. It sinks in my stomach like rock. My fist clench in my pants as he turns to us. Sansa seems rejected at his bewilderment at her wanting to ride with him.
"Not today brother." Her voice rings through my head as we watch the sisters take flight once more. Arya's angry words still clouding my mind. Robb seems just a stuck watching them take off in play.
"They truly aren't the sisters I know." Robb whispers pushing himself up before pulling me with him. We walk through the door hearing the laughter ring once more, watching the maids skitter out of a room Sansa barrels through. Did the horrors teach you to laugh Sansa? Walking around to the back hall as Father trots after the sound as if he was trying to catch it with his bare hands. Watching him, look after them makes the reality of it all heavier. Eddard Stark the man I have always thought my father is brave, but he seems to waver when he looks upon them. Understandably.
We watch as Arya flies by with a smile thrown our way. I see Catelyn's shoulders curl inward and her hand raise to her face as Sansa and Rickon come into view. Her green skirts from yesterday cushioning her brother as her muscles clench the horse. Her hair flying wildly behind her as her face glows in merriment. Her eyes fall upon us sucking the merriment from her instantly. My heart jumps at the change, the girl faded, and the woman stared back.
"I" LL KEEP HIM SAFE MOTHER." The words are spoken lovingly. An attempt to sooth her mother's fraying heart. She doesn't stop to console but seems to urge the horse into the woods faster. Chasing after Arya or fleeing the emotions swirling around us, I don't know.
"We could learn from them." Benjen calls from behind us bringing me around to face him. His eyes are warm as they stare into the woods the girls tore off into.
"They have much to rejoice in. As do we. They are here. Worlds have been destroyed but here they are. Yet, they are the only ones rejoicing?" He looks to Robb and me with a raised brow. I tilt my head making Benjen huff.
"Go on now. Revel in their laughter if you can't make your own." He demands of us making me frown before Robb is dragging me down to the stables himself.
"Seriously Robb?" I say as he throws a saddle on a horse.
"Seriously. They are alone." He says tightly and it hits me hard. I dart to a saddle checking the sword at my waist as we scramble to catch up with them. There's no laughter but Benjens as we fly past. My heart is thundering with the beat of the hooves as we slow to listen to the woods for a sign of them. We hear Rickon squeal to the left and take off once more. We come upon them in a clearing, Sansa circling her horse around a tree that Arya is sitting in. We trot closer, watching as Arya walks the limbs of the tree like a feline.
"Thank goodness. See Rickon. Robb and Jon have saddles maybe they will be able to lift you high enough." Sansa calls loudly. Robb chuckles moving forward. I watch as Sansa steadies Rickon upon her horse before he jumps to Robb. My heart thrumming strangely content at the smile she casts my way.
"Don't let him fall Arya." She calls trotting to the right I see to the horse Arya has left unbound as it ambles away slowly.
"Yes, My lady." Arya calls as she helps her brother into the tree.
"Sansa's not a lady today!" Rickon replies happily. Making my eyes fall upon her and the way her shoulders tighten at the words. Robb stays under the tree watching Arya and Rickon like they will disappear. I watch as Sansa pulls up to the other horse smoothing her hand over it as she grabs the reins pulling it back with her. I kick my horse forward to join her.
"Got lose did she." I ask offering to take the reins from her and she smiles waving me off.
"Nope. Arya decided jumping from her was the smart choice." She smiles at me. The light flooding her eyes making my throat bob. It's terribly disturbing she can stir so many emotions when we barely acknowledged one another before yesterday. We turn to watch the others still mounted upon our horses.
"I know I said when we wake, we would talk. Do you mind if we talk after I am done enjoying this?" She asks quietly as if I would refuse her.
"Lady Sansa." I find myself saying before she turns a raised brow to me. "Sansa. Sansa." I repeat watching the way the tension leaves her shoulders. "I would like to enjoy it with you. If you will allow that." I say making her laugh as she looks to me once more. Father was right, looking upon them you can't deny it. Her eyes are deep, emotions turning that someone her age shouldn't know. Emotions that confuse me and pull me even deeper in one swift motion.
"I would never turn you away Jon. Pack. Remember." Her blue eyes piercing me gently, the pain on my young heart seems to lesson. Pack is more than blood Jon. It's the people you choose to keep, to protect and love. I nod my head as she continues to stare at me. As if she were willing her words to bring me clarity. We sit in silence watching Rickon fumble around in front of Arya and Robb jerking every time as if something terrible is about to happen. Many terrible things were about to happen.
We remain in the woods for some time before Arya declares she is hungry. The companionable silence stays intact as Sansa rides closer to help Robb take Rickon from the tree. I watch her eyes light up once more when Rickon demands to ride back with her. I vow then and there, as she looks back up at me with a soft smile. My eyes darting to Arya as she drops onto her horse easily, her smile broad. I would help them find every moment of happiness they could squeeze from this life. We ride quietly through the Godswood, I watch as Sansa's hand lifts towards Robb. Robb moves closer taking her hand quietly.
I look from the pair to Arya. She looks at me with a knowing smile. So much my sister, but not at the same time.
"Brother. I am sorry for the freight I caused you yesterday." She says softly for the others not to hear.
"Never, never apologize to me Arya. I told your sister as I will tell you. I will not allow any harm to come to you." I declare and she smiles at me with a shake of the head.
"We wanted you to return with us. But the path was ours and only ours. Not that it would have helped, before I was zapped to this runt of a body you had already fallen. Sansa went down with you. I thought I would be cast back alone and to be honest I am not my sister. I lived on the edge of the world. She lived through the politics, the rise and fall of men and all that we need to make true changes will come from her. Even if it pains me to say it." Arya talks as if it was the weather she was discussing. I nod along frowning at her words.
"Why would you have been sent alone?" I ask after she falls into silence.
"We were supposed to hold the dead back while the magic was cast, but if we died our soul would be trapped there. When I looked back, she lay bloody facing you without movement. Some part of her must have still been there or I would be currently carving my way though a death list." She shrugs a shoulder at the information making me look her over. So candid, Arya was no doubt going to keep me on my toes.
"Why didn't you take me?" Bran calls sulking from his place in front of the stables.
"Well, you sent us here silly." Arya laughs as Sansa chastises her from atop her horse. The information sinking in like a knife. They were here because Bran sent them back. I look closely at the boy looking for something else I haven't noticed but find nothing.
"What?" Bran questions. Robbs head jerks between his sisters and Bran as if he has caught on to the meaning as well.
"Don't worry about Arya, Bran. She fell from the horse on the ride." Sansa calls out lifting Rickon from her skirts and letting him slide to the ground. I watch amused as her leg flutters over before slipping to the ground herself, attempting to straighten her scrunched skirts.
"Well, my lovely nieces. That was a sight to see." Benjen steps into the stables walking to the pair as Arya dismounts to stand by Sansa. I turn to leave as he reaches out to touch Sansas' face. Robb is pulling Bran and Rickon along with him to give them time. In all our years I have never seen this much happiness from girls.
Sansa's POV
The way my uncle looks upon me gives me hope. That they wont just see my pain, our pain when they look upon our faces. That we will be more then the tales that we spin. I had spent the quiet of the ride thinking of the wonderful things we would get to live once more. To look to my left at Robb, to the front at Arya and Jon. To squeeze Rickon just a little tighter to my chest. So many wonderful things could happen. They will happen. They are happening even now.
"Benjen." I say with affection in my voice as he touches my face. The confusion on his face drifting as he gazes at me. He turns from me to look at Arya, but she remains standing a few paces away.
"House Stark stands taller with your presence." He whispers making the dirt beneath my feet feel colder. We need to get onto out tasks.
"Thank you." Arya replies but he shakes his head pulling her hand into his arm.
"So strange to be coming to my nieces just ten and three the other ten and six for knowledge." He mumbles dejected. I can't stop the chuckle that leaves me.
"Strange is the way of the Starks these days." I reply making him laugh.
"Yes. Strange, wonderful things." He says squeezing our hands gently. We walk slowly to my fathers solar. My breath catches when I take in my mothers disheveled appearance within. I move forward quickly pulling her into my arms. Her body shakes as I hold her close.
"Sansa. My darling girl." She mumbles into my hair making my heart sink at the sorrow there. Pulling back, I look at her closely. Her dark eyes telling of the terrible night she had. How bad did Arya scare you mother?
"Nothing has been done that we can't undo mother. Breath in the life surrounding you, appreciate all that it is and know we will do everything we can to keep it so." I say grasping her hand between my two in front of us. To my dismay her shoulders fall more.
"I am the Lady mother; I should be comforting you." She answers shakily. I give her a soft smile.
"Mother. I know this is hard, it's a lot to take in for everyone. I lived to be the Lady of Winterfell. I am just as grown as you but stuck in this body." I motion at myself watching the tears roll down her face.
"I feel as if this is not a gift at all, to have my daughters stolen from me. I do not know you despite having been near you every day of your short life." She utters quietly. I had not considered the pain this would cause.
"You know… we were stolen from you. Previously. I was hostage and the world thought Arya dead after father fell. Take that feeling mother. Take it and let it burn a fire so strong that nothing can break you." I say reaching back to grab Arya from beside Benjen and pull her towards us. "But know that we are still here. We longed for you; we love you. We may be different, but pack is pack. You are my mother, my pack. Nothing, not even time and loss changes that mother." I pull her close dragging Arya into us. I hold her to us as Arya gives in and pushes her way around mother tightly. I pull back giving mother a half smile.
"I must ask you to speak further on the discussions from last night" My father pulls my attention to him as I step from my mothers embrace. With a nod I approach his chairs to have a seat. Noting my dirty feet, I attempt to quell the wild hair I am carrying about.
"We need to warn Jon. But it must be delicately. He won't want to believe it." I say shifting further into the chair as my brother and Jon enter the room. Arya places herself on the armrest to my side with my parents across from us.
"Why would she want him dead?" Father asks quietly.
"She believes Petyr loves her. He has convinced her Jon is what stands in the way of their love. It's a power play of course and he holds no love for her." I say playing with my dirty skirts as I remember the moon window and her death. Taking a deep breath, I wait for more questions, but they remain staring at me.
"His death will bring the King here to ask you to take Jon's place. You didn't refuse and we took to Kings Landing." I leave that hanging in the air before Arya is shoving to her feet.
"So, what should we tell him?" Robb asks me when they remain silent. Mother holding her face no doubt saddened for her sister and a man she believed was a friend.
"The truth. A terrible truth can still be believed if woven from a place of trust." I say looking to my father. He hangs his head heavily before rising to desk. Robb takes his place holding mothers' hand.
"What would you have me say?" He asks looking to me with a frown.
"Greet him as you would normally. Then lead with I have heard troubling rumors. Rumors I hope to be untrue, but I have heard them and send word to… would you call him brother? Friend in arms? Jon?" Trying to recall if I ever heard him greet the man.
"Honestly dear, just Jon." He replies looking at me softly.
"Okay, Rumors, I hope to be untrue. But I have heard them Jon and seek to know you are in good health. Forgive the unsettling information, word have spread that the master of coin is conspiring with Lysa to kill you. She has been given Tears of Lyse to give you. I am sorry if these were unfounded words Jon." I say thinking of the step. Would this work? Would Jon be dead already? Then what?
I fling myself from the chair pacing the back wall rapidly. "Sansa." Arya's voice pulls me from my thoughts. I look to her with a frown, dread spreading through my limbs.
"If it starts to turn the same, we always have a backup." Arya jokes the mirth not reaching her eyes as I nod at her.
"What is the back up plan may I ask?" Mothers soft voice makes my shoulders tense.
"A very extensive kill list." Arya keeps her eyes locked onto mine. No doubt feeling the sourness at speaking the words to our mother. To the mother that has yet to see the evil we might face. Who has yet to let go of her little girls lost long ago in the south.
"You can't be serious sisters." Robbs voice pulls me a step closer to them.
"There's a reason it's the back up. We would hope to not see it come to that. There are things at work you do not understand. Know that we protect the pack just as much for us as we do the realm of man. Many lives will be lost, northern and southern alike if things play out the same. We will not have the men we need to face the dead. If the traitors appear to still be problems, then they will be dealt with." I say diplomatically as my mother raises to her feet and leaves the room swiftly. My heart tugs as tears well in my eyes.
Did you know brother? When we came back, we would destroy her? I think dejectedly across time, wondering if Bran would answer. Father stamps the parchment raising swiftly to follow mother without a word. I sit heavily next to Robb as he turns to take me in.
"Know that she loves you. This is unsettling. Your young faces speaking so casually of taking lives is hard for her to witness." I will the anger down at my uncles' words. Will it from my heart despite the pang that strikes me heart.
"Yes, well, imagine how unsettling it is to have your mother back and to watch her flee you." Arya's tart retort makes me to look her. No doubt this is heavy with how close she got to mother and Robb before losing them last time.
"Arya." Her emotionless eyes find mine before she kicks at the floor finding a wall to lean against.
"The dead. What of the dead?" Jon asks quietly. I huff looking to my sister. I smile over my shoulder at Benjen. Of course, Jon is the one asking after the dead.
"What has been witnessed as of now Uncle? Any sightings north of the wall?" I ask injecting some formality into my voice. It seems our emotions will ruin every attempt we make if we let them.
"Some rumors. Thought ridiculous until now." He says waving his hand at Arya as if she herself were proof.
"The matter of the wall and what needs to start happening will be shocking and breaking from long tradition. But…. We need them. We need them and they need us." I say remembering all Jon's desperate words trying to barter peace between the free folk and us kneelers.
"Them?" Robb asks before Benjen sucks in air.
"The wildlings, child?" He demands harshly, accusingly.
"The Free folk." I answer making him frown. Father reenters the door swiftly with sweat upon him. I rise giving him my seat. We might bring him death if he keeps worrying so. Should we have brought them into the fold? My eyes drift over the room. Arya stares at the ceiling silently. Robb and Benjen stare in disbelief. Jon is pacing behind me, no doubt driving Arya crazy. Father seems to be sorting his mind before clearing his throat.
"What is being discussed now?" He grumbles making me smile as Robb scoffs beside him.
"Sansa says we will be needing the wildlings." The way my Fathers eyes flash at me tells me this will be a long conversation.
"What?" His voice rings out making Arya chuckle. They all look to her then back at me. I shrug uncertain of the reason she is laughing but certain they do not want to know.
"The Free Folk. They will need to be brought under the wall. This happened the first time, they fought at our sides to win back Winterfell and against the dead. We may be able to wait a year. But make no mistake they will be coming. We will need to broker peace. Within a year …. It should have been enough time for them to start seeing the others more. The villages will start shifting south." I inject authority into my tone watching as the men in the room sit up straighter.
"They have been killing good men for a long time. You do not know what you ask." My father says tightly.
"We have been slaughtering each other for a long time. Our hands are just as stained as theirs." I say watching Benjen look towards his hands.
"They live differently then us. They are barbaric." Robb whispers.
"I have seen barbaric men Robb. They walk in fine clothes and call themselves honorable men." Arya sounds off as she remains staring at the ceiling.
"Listen. I will not ask you to just thrust your worries aside. I saw the tension between men. It was hard, fights constantly broke out. But peace was had. Because in the end there is one point you need to understand." Jon's urgent voice from the past fills my head. "Every dead Free Folk is another Dead man for his army. The dead rise as he passes. I fought Rickons corpse as it rose in the crypts at the end." I suck in a breath casting my eyes to the ceiling as emotions churn in my stomach. Jon's face looks pale from the corner of my eye. Blue clash with Grey for a moment before I look away. When will it be over Jon? I think tired already.
Jon's POV
"Sansa." Arya's tone pulls my focus to my sister. They way she stares at Sansa tells me something has unsettled her.
"We don't have to decide it all today. They are still reeling. Fuck, we are still reeling. Let's start with Jon, we can discuss the Wildlings and dragon glass another day." Arya speaks softly. When did you become the patient one?"
My eyes drift back over the room. Father... Ned. seems ready to bust. Sansa stares at Arya for a long time before her shoulders seem to release the tension that held them and casting a look at her father.
"I wish we didn't have to burden you father." Sansas voice pulls something in me to move closer to her. To quell the darkness that has followed her.
"Don't. This was never your burden to begin with. I made vows to protect my people and failed. I won't do that again." Ned grinds our twisting his hands together.
"You didn't fail. You were betrayed and killed for the pleasures of others. You were honorable until the very end." Arya says heatedly stepping forward from her relaxed position.
"Father." Sansa calls softly. With delicate steps she kneels in front of him. My breath catches watching the pair. Tearing my eyes away I watch the way Arya holds herself back. Her body straining against some unknown force. "I am the Lone Wolf." "I lived on the edge of the world." How far apart do you stand sister? With slow steps I approach my little sister slipping my arm around her tiny frame. She leans into me after a moment.
"If this was your defining legacy, a failure to his people, we would not be here. The North remembers. They know who fights beside them, for them, against all odds you were remembered for more than your death. That memory helped us win back Winterfell. If we had never taken it, I would have died long ago." Sansa attempts to console her father making Ned pull her in tight as Benjen leaves the room quietly.
"And we would all be fucked because I have no care for politics as my sister does." Arya says making Robb bark a laugh as Ned gruff at her language. I chuckle watching Sansa drop beside Robb. They seem content to remain there as Sansas head leans on her brother.
"You smell brother." Sansas huffs our making us all laugh.
"Yeah well I haven't been to my chambers since two strange women waltzed into my life." He exclaims looking them over with affection. Her small smile glows but her eyes capture me as I am caught looking at her. The half-smile she gives me makes my feet shuffle.
"We should go about our days then. Things still need done." Ned says climbing to his feet and both Sansa and Arya become tense. They cast looks to one another, seeming to converse without words.
"Sansa and I will be doing our own training form now on. Sansa is more a lady than any queen I have crossed, and I will not entertain the idea any more now than I would then. "Her voice is hard making Sansas shoulders sag in embarrassment.
"What would you have me tell your mother?" Ed asks exasperated.
"Send the old coot away." Arya says with a shrug.
"ARYA!" Sansa jumps to her feet.
"What Sansa? Do you think she will like me training you? Do you think she won't hunt us down in the Godswood? The first black eye I give you she will make a scene and you know it!" Arya argues appearing more the girls I have grown with then the ones that returned yesterday.
"Wait wait! You are training? To fight?" Robb asks tightly making us all tense. Ned's back is turned towards us, but we all look to him as a growl leaves him.
"Yes." Sansa answers simply making my heart jump as her eyes find mine once more. Why do you look to me Sansa?
"That's not needed. We are prepared, we will protect you. I will protect you there is no need for it." Robb placates placing his hands on Sansas shoulders and turning her towards him.
"Robb." Sansa's voice barely a whisper. Sadness seeping from her being as she looks at her brother.
"You have me sister. Father, Jon." He pleads with her as she hangs her head. Sansa pulls free raising a hand to touch Robbs cheek gently before leaving the room. Robb's hands are balled into fists as he exhales harshly. Ned remains as if stone as stuck him to the floor.
"You left her." Arya's voice is soft, no anger in her tone. My throat constricts as Robb turns with angry eyes on us. Boiling between despair and anger Robbs face is harsh but the tears line his eyes.
"When father died, they offered to give Sansa back for a prisoner you held. You wouldn't trade. She remained in Kong's Landing." The words are like fire running over my skin thinking over all the words that were screamed yesterday.
"What? I... What?" Robb whispers falling back to the couch they were just seated happily upon.
"I don't know much about it. I only know that because word spread through Westeros. The Wolf trapped in the Lion's den; they would sing song in plays." She responds despondent. "I am telling you this, so you understand. All the good will and intentions didn't save anyone last time. She could barely hold that shield at the end. More than anything else, I want to show her, teach her to protect herself. She was at the wills of man for too long." Her voice dark as she walks from the room while speaking. Hands grasped behind her back. Something I have noticed both girls doing since they have ... become them.
"I left her?" Robb whispers into the room. I rub my face harshly coming to rest beside him. Placing a hand on his shoulder in what form of comfort I can offer. All of this is hard, all of it is too much. Yet it is here, and it is what we have. Ned turns to sit in the chair Sansa had at the beginning if this conversation. His face a stone mask once more, grinding his hands into each other harshly.
"We have to stop questioning them. If they want to fight, we give them the best shields and the sharpest swords. If they ask me to take a life or save a life it is what must be done. They were chosen, they remained, and they are here. She said it was always the fate of the wolf sisters. Trust your sisters Robb. Trust them as the gods have." My hand squeezes Robbs shoulder as he wipes the tears from his face with a heavy sigh.
"I promise to train her myself if I need too." Robb says climbing to his feet and pulling me with him.
"Now I have to go…. deal with your mother." He nods at us both before striding from the room. We stand staring at the wall in silence.
"Whatever comes, Jon…" I slap my hand to his shoulder interrupting him.
"It doesn't matter what happened then. What matters is what happens now. I have your back brother." I say pulling him in for a hug that he returns tightly. Pulling back, I head for the door exiting towards the hall.
"Wait. Come Jon." He says turning with determined strides through the castle. I follow curious until I realize his destination. With lighter steps we glide to the swordsmith.
Sansa's POV
"For fucks sake Sansa! Lift your feet." Arya screeches as she slams a staff into my foot making me groan. What was I thinking? What was I thinking!? She will kill me. I pant heavily as I dart away from Arya. I have never hurt so bad in my life. We are barley into the second day of training, and I feel as if I will never finish.
"I was blind when I did this training sister. Move when I strike, move faster." She barks harshly as the staff wizzes towards me. I bring my staff up hastily, merely redirecting Arya's move. My sister is ruthless when she brings the end up and slams the end into my chest. Falling back onto my arse winded, I gasp in air heavily. I struggle with the idea of standing for a moment before I give in and collapse against the ground.
"Seven Hells Sansa. We haven't even been at it an hour." She grumbles chucking her staff at the ground.
"The running with rocks does not get included in the training?" I heave disbelief coloring my words. My hand raises to rub my chest willing the pain to leave.
"Not at all." She chuckles laying beside me.
"Perhaps this isn't for me." I whisper towards the sky. Wanting to desperately catch this but worried I will drive Arya from me with her irritation. We are so dependent on each other now.
"Stop being dramatic. It takes time, Sansa. We have it." She says with a hint of affection in her voice. I think over the last week, awkward meals, curious glances and weary smiles. A few times I see determination lining my family's faces it gives me an ounce of hope that we haven't already made mistakes. In the back of my mind I fear we have pushed them from us and hindered any work we need to accomplish.
"I feel as if it is easier to stay in the woods then to return to our home. Our home so full of all the things I have wanted desperately." Arya whispers the words quickly. As if saying them will hurt her somehow.
"I know. I feel as if they fear us." My solemn reply stinging more than the blossoming bruise on my chest.
"I never wanted that." Arya laughs darkly, clearly uncomfortable with the tender conversation.
"Arya." I say pushing myself up to face my sister as she mimics' my posture. "No more dark words. No more stories from their graves of the men they became, of the monsters that haunt us." I say the words gently reaching forward to grasp her hand as she scowls at me. "They are scared, rightfully so, but there is enough to face without the matters of ghosts haunting them." I finish as she pulls her hand free and pushes to her feet huffing.
"It's maddening sister. They want to question and act as if we are still babes." She grumbles reaching for her staff once more.
"I know. But… it is not bringing us closer to the family we miss. We are separated and I long not to be." I grind out of my constricting throat. She nods her head as I stand to grab my staff. Reaching out to rub my foot slowly.
"If they ask, I won't lie." She says tightly and I nod in understanding.
"I don't mean to keep them in the dark. I wouldn't ask that of you. I just know so far this…. approach has been fruitless." She nods watching the trees in thought.
"I will speak with them sister." I mumble thinking over all the words that could be said but uncertain which ones will bring them closer to us.
"We should decide how to handle some people. What of Theon? The Frey's? Hell, the mother of Dragons?" Arya says as we walk towards the castle lazily. My body aches as if I was a prisoner in my halls once more. My stomach sours as I push the thought from my mind.
"Maybe Theon should be allowed to return home?" I say thinking of the half man that jumped from the battlements with me.
"Would father let him?" She asks but I don't honestly know the answer. There are politics at play there that I don't understand.
"I think we should have a private discussion with him on this topic. No need to make the others cautious yet." I say as the castle comes into view. "As for Deanery's. I need to find Jon. I will tell him what I know of his family and see what he wants to do." I whisper making Arya pause beside me. I stall to look at her.
"What would you want to happen Sansa. She will want the North. We can't let that happen once more." She huffs at me making me smile. I have been pondering how to handle many people over the days but not all of them need to be handled the same.
"She wonders the lands, searching for safety. Alone in the world. She has yet to become the woman she was. I had considered that instead of her staying our enemy we bring her to our side. Before she only seeks the Iron throne, before she becomes who she was." I watch her face scrunch in disbelief.
"How exactly would we accomplish such a thing?"
"By giving her something she longs for. Something we both know the pain of very well. Family. Her nephew is here. Her devotion can be to more than the Iron Throne if she did not feel so isolated. Show her our strength in a pack. Show her kindness sister. That is what I believe would be best. This is your path as well; I would want to know your opinion on this." I say quietly stepping closer as someone walks by.
"I … I believe this could be beneficial. She is so far though Sansa. How would we even go about such a thing?" I smile at her both weary of the only option truly available and knowing she will be elated for the suggestion.
"If Jon wishes, perhaps a young wonderer could escort him to his lost family. Just to present himself, to know of his family. It would be a long journey that I would hope you both return from as quickly as the winds allow you." I say tightly watching the light flood her eyes at the thought of an adventure, with the brother she adores most. Then she frowns at me her eyes sad.
"That could months of journey there and back Sansa. A lot can happen in that time." She says dismayed but I shrug my shoulders at her.
"I will keep the family safe if you keep yourself and Jon safe sister." I smile at her softly as she ways the words.
"We won't go until we know what has occurred with Jon Arryn. That is if he wishes to meet her." She says turning to walk ahead of me. I know despite the sourness the idea gives me that this is the most beneficial choice for both our family and the realm. "You will be able to defend yourself before I leave." Her voice commands as I climb the stairs behind her. I let out a loud laugh, making my aching skin tighten over dark bruises. I frown at my long skirts in thought. She had wanted me in breeches, but I wouldn't be in them if a fight were to occur, so I refused. Maybe I could make them easier to move in though. My mind wonders to a simple task pushing thoughts of everything else to the back of my mind.
Jon's POV
"You act as if I know any more than you." Ned says tightly to his wife when Rob and I enter the solar after being requested by Sansa at dinner.
"Boys." Catelyn says with a smile. My brows furrow in confusion for a moment. Although she hasn't made a step to address my lineage the Lady of Winterfell has been kinder. The kind glances and absence of harsh words has been startling but welcome.
The week itself has been stressful for not only the family but the entire castle. The girls have stirred many whispers and not all of them have been kind. Rob and I have flung many people into walls the past few days. We were all aware something would be addressed on this night, but Sansa and Arya have been staying to themselves the past few days.
Warm smiles are always what greets me when I look upon them, but they scurry away as if scared. My mind wonders to the aunt Sansa spoke of but I can't find the courage to approach her about the subject. What's more troubling is the way the rest of the family keeps their distance from the girls... woman? Their mother has been with Bran and Rickon since she found that there would be no more tutelage for her daughters. A soft knock sounds before Sansa pokes her head through the door. The room become charged the moment she steps through it.
"Arya?" Ed asks quietly. Questioning her absence. Sansa takes a deep breath, shaking her head slightly before lifting her skirts and lowing herself to the ground. With bated breath, I watch her as my eyes roam to a bruise poking from the top of her bodice.
"Sansa?" Her mother questions quietly. Sansa's head drops forward making Robb step forward before he thinks better of it and steps back to my side.
"I ask for your forgiveness. For me, for Arya. Understand we never meant to terrorize you with words, with history you shouldn't have to know. With history that isn't truly yours yet. Arya and I have just recently been reunited, both of us struggling, found comfort in each other's wellbeing. She believed me safe once I escaped Kings Landing. When she heard otherwise ... I believe she still carries guilt for not coming to my aide sooner. A guilt that was no ones to carry. We readied for battle in my rooms the day we were returned here it was the first time she witnessed my ..." My heart thunders at her downcast head. The way she struggles for words making my fist clench. How could the gods guilt them so? How could we? "My ruin. Know that her lashing out was still the grief, fresh and new when she spoke those words. She will speak them no more; I will speak them no more. Unless necessary, unless asked, we will strive to be kinder to you. The darkness doesn't have to invade this new life. We want only for your happiness and hope you can forgive us for the pain we have brought you." She breaths heavily her head still hung low. Sansa. My mind whispers painfully watching her hair curtain her face from us. My foot shifting to approach her before I give it consent but her mother darts around the desk falling to the floor in front of her unceremoniously.
"Look at me Sansa." Catelyn's voice heavy as she grabs at her daughters' hands. Robb shifts on his feet bumping into my slightly. I look to his face and find his eyes pinched shut in pain. Sansa seems to lift her head, words stuck in her throat.
"There is nothing to forgive. I should be asking your forgiveness. As a mother I have acted scorned by time itself. That was unfair to you, to your sister. We will do better." Sansa seems uncertain of the words being spoken to her, but she nods softly.
"Sister." Robb's voice is tight, anger heavy in his tone. Sansa casts worried eyes our way imploring her brother to speak with a look.
"You are not ruined. No matter what occurred, you are not." The words are pained, grinding out of Robb harshly, making my throat constrict at the tears that pool in her eyes before she sniffs them away.
"Of course, not brother, I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell." The words slip from her heavily as if they were armor themselves. Protecting her from the world with her piercing gaze.
"Did he suffer?" My breath catches. I have wondered since the name Ramsey was uttered if the human suffered. Sansa watches her brother as the words sink in and she seems to realize his question. She half smiles at the window rising to her feet with her mother's hand still grasped in hers. She takes time pulling her mother from the floor. So, caring of the people around her. So different from the one I knew.
"Greatly." Her eyes find mine for a moment. Something passing them I do not understand before she looks away from me. Was I there Sansa? Robbs head nods tightly as Sansa releases her mother and takes a step towards the door.
"Now if you will excuse me, little wolf likes to wake me before the moon leaves the sky." She bids to her father quietly. Ned has remained silent, his hands grasped in front of his mouth for the entire encounter.
"Sleep well Sansa." Ned calls after her. Her steps slightly limping as she leaves the room. Robb has yet to move from the corner of my eye I watch his jaw lock and unlock.
"They feel so estranged from us that they blame themselves." Robb says tightly.
"We will do better. They will not feel alone again." Catelyn responds turning to look at Robb before her eyes lock on mine, I breath deep once more when she approaches with heavy steps. My heart beats rapidly as her hands rest upon my shoulders. I tense as she hugs me to her but return it stiffly, uncertain of the actions. My eyes finding my uncles disbelieving ones.
"Sansa lived a troubled life, but her eyes are soft when she looks to you. It may not be in your memories, but you were at their side in the end. If you were there for my children when I couldn't have been makes you a far better man than I have let my foolish heart believe you to be. I can't change my past actions, but I will strive as they do now to do better by them and by you." She speaks softly staring at me with more kindness than I have seen her use on anyone but her own children.
"I can't ... I didn't do anything." I say confused. "When hope is taken from me you appear Jon." Knowing somewhere that the soft words left a gaping hole at the way she calls me Jon, but not her Jon. Who was Sansa's Jon? Who will I become?
"That is also true. I have been terrible to a boy for nothing. Forgive me Jon." She says again, misunderstanding my meaning but her voice is firm, tone pushing all thought of continuing the conversation from me. I smile softly as she steps away from me to embrace Robb. Ned catches my eye from across the room. He smiles faintly his eyes still tight.
"It's troubling to see her bruised though, I must admit it hurts to see her that way." Catelyn says to her husband as if he would find a way to end the training. Robb scoffs shaking his head.
"She will get better, they will fade." Ned says more for himself than anyone else's benefit. I clear my throat bidding my own good night before I walk from the room. My feet carry me to their door without consent. I stare at it listening to the quiet of the castle before I hear Robb approach from behind. He doesn't waver as his hand reaches around me and knocks gently.
"Don't freeze your arses out there all night." Arya's voice carries through the door making us chuckle. Pushing it open we find Arya sprawled across the bed and Sansa seated in her window with needle and thread in hand as she makes something. She looks up, another half-smile leaving her before she turns back to her task.
"Sansa had spare bed rolls placed in here after the first night." Arya says pointing to the far corner making me frown. Had they wanted our presence as much as I wanted theirs. No matter how much confusion and pain lingers with their words I long to know more of them. To gain knowledge from their knowledge, to stop the sad way their eyes turn when lost in thought.
"Always expected us to return sister?" Robb says dragging the small bag beds from the corner to the hearth.
"It is my job to care for my people, especially my pack." She answers distractedly as she fluffs a skirt of sorts to look at it closer. Arya leans up to gaze at her sister.
"I am telling you just wear the breeches Sansa." Arya huffs at her sister looking our way in disbelief, as if we would help her in the argument.
"When you said you needed out of the dress, did I not sew you clothes before I sewed mine? I want skirts just as you want the breeches sister. I may be more liberated to your way of life, but I am still me." She answers folding her clothe to make changes as I sit upon the bed as Robb stretches upon his lazily.
"Fine. Don't grumble when I break your leg." Arya huffs making Sansa throw a spare bolt of thread at her. I find myself smiling as Robb chuckles.
"So, loving you are sister." Sansa replies humor lacing her words.
"How is training?" I ask bringing both of their eyes to me. Sansa sighs heavily as Arya laughs.
"She needs more time. I have faith she will be good. Not me but good." Arya smirks at Sansas dramatic sigh at her words.
"Sansa?" Robb asks staring into the flames, clearly inquiring about a heavier topic.
"Brother?" She responds without looking from her task, her hair shielding her once more. What's written upon your face Sansa?
"How greatly?" Robb looks to her as her eyes raise to his. A pained expression flittering across her pale face before looking back at her work.
"Sansa?" Arya asks softly. Sansa nods without looking from her making my stomach drop. Relieved Robb asked but feeling dread at her reaction to the words.
"Tormund said Jon nearly beat him to death." My brow raises at the words. "He had these hounds he would starve before he let them eat his enemies. Sansa fed the cunt to his own dogs." Arya declares as she comes to rest upon the floor in front of us. My throat bobs looking to the woman in the window whose shoulders tighten with every word. "While he was still alive." Arya smiles devilishly as she leans forward clearly delighted with her sister's actions. Arya yearns for vengeance even now. So much darkness sister. I think looking at her dark eyes as Robb nods at the information. I feel a moment of pleasure knowing I had a hand in this man's demise. Is that why you look to me Sansa?
"I never thought I would live to hear you say cunt." I utter after the silence becomes overbearing making us all break into laughter. Sansa looks up with a grateful smile.
"Yes, I learned more than swords on the road. Although some of the free folk had the most…. Inventive insults I have ever heard." Arya says like a diplomat at not the wild woman she is. Sansa laughs out right.
"I miss the way Tormund longed after Brienne." Sansa laughs so hard it causes tears to flow and her breath to gasp. "He was such a fierce man, but he would become such a lovesick fool in her presence." The sight of them smiling more uplifting than anything else I have witnessed this day. Robb smiles at them both.
"Aye, she fucking hated it though." Arya barks making Sansa laugh harder.
"Reminded me so of The Bear and the maiden Fair." Sansa replied wistfully turning back to her work. Arya returned to the bed and we fell into a light slumber as Sansa voice carried across the room. My heart softening to the gentle tones.
"From there, to here, From here. To there!
All black and brown and covered in hair.
He smelled that girl on the summer air
The bear! The Bear!
The maiden fair.
Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair.
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
I called a knight, but you're a bear!
All black and brown and covered in hair." She sings it slower than you would normally hear the tune but her soothing voice is better than any I have ever heard. Arya chuckles sleepily from the bed.
"Brienne would cut you down herself if she heard you call her the maiden fair." She yawns the words out as Sansa hums in agreement. I find myself drifting easily to sleep when her humming starts back up. Casting one last glance at the window and her small frame I roll with my back to them to give into the night.
My brows furrow as I hear a muffled sob. My eyes open to the dim room wondering where I have fallen asleep. A whimper lets out once more it comes flooding back to me. I turn finding Arya pushing Robb from a whimpering Sansa. My eyes glance over them as Sansa seems to struggle in her sleep.
"It will be worse if you wake her." I hear Arya utter placatingly. "It's best she wakes on her own. You may return to your chambers, I have her." Her voice is soft as Robb shakes his head wearily. I rise to stand beside them watching her twist under the furs.
"Does this happen often?" I find myself saying watching her face contort in anger.
"Not to my knowledge." Arya answers trying to push us farther from the bed. I walk backwards slowly. Robb seems less agreeing and gives his sister a tired glance.
"How much knowledge do you have then? How many times have you tried to wake her?" Robbs voice raising slightly. Sansa shoots up gasping for air. My hands shake as she rears back from us out of the bed onto the floor in a heap, still struggling for breath. Her wild eyes skittering around the room before they take us in. When her eyes lock onto mine in fear making me breath out harshly. I find myself moving forward as she propels herself off the floor towards me. I fall back a step as she slams into me. My heart thundering in my chest as hers does. What tormented you Sansa?
Her body shakes in my arms and I rub her back soothing her the only way I know how. My eyes have been closed but they open as she buries her face further into my neck. Her tears wetting my skin as her breathing slows against my chest. I look to find Arya tucked under Robbs shoulder both watching us closely. Mirroring worry upon both of their faces. After a few minutes of calming breaths, she chuckles into my neck brokenly. Sansa. What a world you must have come from. She releases the tight hold on my back as I lower her feet back to the ground slowly. Her eyes lock onto mine as she pushes the tears from her face quickly.
"I am sorry. The was rather inappropriate of me." She whispers making my stomach twist. I reach forward to pull her into a hug once more. She stiffens before a sigh escapes her making as she settles against me softly.
"Your welcome to any comfort I can give you." I grind out of my tight throat looking to Robb as he nods his head slowly. He comes forward and rests a hand on her shoulder in support. She looks up at him still within my embrace and gives him a small smile.
"Well now that we are awake sister. Want to get an early start?" Arya calls from across the room as she gathers things.
"Seven Hells Arya. It's the middle of the night." Robb says with a frown. Sansa drops her head onto my shoulder with a thud a chuckle escaping her.
"There will be no more sleep. I will come sister. I am sorry to have woken you, your welcome to the bed but I need a moment to dress." Sansa says pulling from us both, a part of me missing the way her frame fought off the cold of the night.
"I will return to my chambers sister. If you have need of anything." Robb says quietly. I look to the pair wondering if I will find my own sleep again this night. Whispering a good luck, I follow Robb out of the room. As he returns to sleep, I climb the castle halls and watch as Arya and Sansa disappear into the woods a few moments later. Ears straining to catch the muffled laughter as Arya dashes forward, excitement evident in her movements. I find myself wondering once more what kind of man I was. Or will be in the future.
