Alex's side of Chapter 4

She had been waiting for 10 minutes already and had turned from a jittery teen to a nervous wreck and her heart sunk into her pants. She was sure Piper wouldn't come anymore and therefore all her ridiculous hopes crashed like a shot airplane and burned to ashes, like the tip of her cigarette.

She hated the fact that she was smoking, hated how it was swallowing every little money she had. But she had let Nicky pressure her into starting when she was only 12 and now she couldn't manage to stop it, escpecially when her feelings that she always tried to force down beneath the heavy dark veil that covered her soul, threatened to overwhelm her.

'Alex, if you love me, you can't embarrass me so take the fucking cigarette!'

She pressed the tip of the glowing stick in the skanky sink and in that very second the bathroom door opened. Alex's hands were so sweaty and she tried to hide it by crossing her arms in front of her chest, she was relieved that Piper had come, that after all she might not hate her but at she same time it made her furious how selfconscious this girl could make her. She was angry at herself but she didn't want to admit that to anyone, including her very own person.

"You're late." Alex barked.

She wanted to hear an apology, an explanation, wanted to hear that Piper didn't left her here waiting on purpose but Piper didn't say a word, she just stared at her and Alex felt like she was trying to challenge her. Now she was getting really angry.

"You're playing hard to get or what?" Her voice was sharp like a knife, sharper than she had intended, but at least she managed to keep her true feelings underneat her angry surface.

When Piper still hadn't said anything, Alex shook her head angrily "First you let me stand in the hallway, then you don't answer my text and now you let me wait for you like an idiot?"

She couldn't believe how she was making a fool out of herself, it was so embarrassing and Piper surely had already guessed Alex's real intentions behind those fake tutoring lessons.

"Fuck it!" Alex groaned, trying to get out of there with at least a little bit of her dignity "If you think you're too good for this, I'll find someone else!" she said, and she didn't mean the lessons.

She rushed past Piper, hitting her shoulder hard with her's on her way to the door. She had wanted to hurt her and felt suddenly shockingly reminded of her sister. She hated herself right now.

But Piper grabbed her at the wrist right before she could leave, a flash shooting through Alex's body at the touch, it felt like electricity shocking her nerves but as sudden as she had touched her as sudden she let go of her hand again and for a second Alex thought she had only imagined it.

She had turned around at the touch and was facing Piper now, she could smell the shampoo in those soft blonde hair and it took all she had not to touch her face. She stared at her lips, biting down on her own. They were standing close enough so that she wouldn't have to move more than her head to kiss her. She turned her gaze away.

"I'm sorry ok. I'll do it!" Piper whispered so silent that Alex could hardly hear her. She was relieved but at the same time she just wished that things were different. That she didn't have to meet the girl she wanted in an skanky bathroom, forcing her to give her lessons instead of asking her out like a honoreable girl.

'Alex, if you love me you can't embarrass me!'

When the schoolbell rang in the next lesson they still stood there and Alex still held the door open, making sure she wouldn't do something tremendously stupid, while being extremely aware of the physical presence of the girl right on front of her.

She heard the first students passing the bathroom door and immediately got scared, if Nicky would get notice from her little meet up in here, she would probably beat the shit out of Piper and then her.

'Alex, you do love me, right? I mean I'm your sister. What is more important to you? Me or some rich girl?' she could almost hear Nicky's voice.

"Here after school?" She didn't wait for Piper to answer, didn't want to give her the chance to say no and slipped out of the door as fast as possible.

Alex would have had her stupid business class now, but since Piper wasn't in that course there was no point in going. Instead she joined Nicky and her minions on the roof of the gym, on of their skipping class areas.

Nicky had made a big deal today, unlike Alex she had no qualms about selling drugs to increase her money and now they were smoking joints behind the smokestack of the schoolgym. Alex hated weed even more than her cigarettes, hated how they made her feel, and most times she could resist Nicky's pressuring by just lightning herself a cigarette instead, but today she needed something to calm her nerves and so she outstretched her hand, before someone could even offer her something.

Weed could calm her down immediately, making her numb. Normally she hated the numbness, even if she didn't want to live all her feelings she at least wanted to know what they were and be able to controll them. But today she craved for a little relaxing, forgetting her little foolish heart, that still beated like crazy from the touch of Piper's hand.

Piper. She didn't even know her, yet. Hadn't talked to her more than three words, but ever since she had first seen her eyes, widened in fear when Nicky pushed her against a locker on the first day of highschool, she had been inevitable to her. Unexplainably so.

She had tried to forget her. Had tred to ignore her and finally she had tried catch her alone to talk to her for the past couple of weeks, but she had barely found her in the hallways unless Nicky was close by and when she did, she hadn't manage to find bravery.

Now she closed her eyes, the chatter of the other girls were just a distinct background like waves of the ocean and eventually she drifted into sleep.

„Al? Yo, she's so stoned." Alex woke up in panic, she had no idea what time it was and how she had been asleep.

„Look at her." Of course it was Tricia who tried to land another joke, but Nicky immediately shut her up. In contrast to her behaviour towards others, Nicky was always protective of her sister, noone was aloud to say a bad word about her, noone but herself of course.

„I gotta go." Alex mumbled, before rushing to stand up and stumbling in the direciton of the schoolbuilding. She didn't look Nicky in the eye, she wanted to avoid all those questions in her look that Nicky would never ask in front of the group, but Alex could have seen them if she had looked.

"I'm sorry" Alex said, after she had slid into the bathroom where they had been appointed. Her voice was even rougher than usual, a side effect from the spliff. "Can we start?" Alex tried to sound light-hearted, not letting her nervousness show.

"In here?" Piper's voice sounded so shocked, it was adorable. Alex started pretending to examine the room professionally and then broke out laughing.

"Do you know another place?" Piper asked after a few seconds and just like that she ghad given Alex the final key word to make her decision very easy. She had been thinking if she wanted to take the blonde to her safe place. After all she barely knew the girl and she had no idea how this all was going to work out and this was the only spot where she could relax sometimes after school when she wanted to avoid her sister and home in generally. She often came there when she knew Nicky would be mad at her for some reason and she stayed until she had to go to her bloody job. But Piper seemed so pure of heart and she seemed like she could realy need a safe place too.

"Yeah. I know something"


Hey guys, so I know these chapters are pretty short so far and I really intended to make this one longer, but that would have meant you would have to wait longer for it. So I hope you can forgive me ;)

To the dear guest who asked me for the one shot: I am trying to. I already started it but I don't know how long it will take as I am also working on this story and I also have a lot of other stuff on my plate. So I hope you can wait a little longer, I will definitely write and publish it, I promise! As long I really hope you'll be feeling better soon :) Lot's of love.

Thanks to all the great great people, who are still reading, following, reviewing. XXX