"Chloe, sweetie. How are you doing?"
Chloe sat silently, her finger tips tapping on her bottom lip – a common occurrence since she got diagnosed – as she stared out of the window. Her legs were tucked in front of her, trying to make herself as small as she could.
"Chloe?"
She raised her eye brows and her forehead creased as her eyes met Janet's.
"Yeah? Sorry, I... I zoned out. Sorry."
"That's okay." Her therapist smiled gently at her. "So, you had another schizophrenic episode yesterday. That's why you were brought in here. Correct?"
Chloe just nodded, turning her head to look out of the window. There were people walking around, and people sat down eating their lunch, all with grim, miserable looks on their faces. Almost everyone were eating or walking alone, but there were a few people sat in groups of three or four. Although there seemed to be a few groups of friends, almost none of them looked like they were actually happy. Which was obviously acceptable. I mean, who can be happy in a place like this? Who can even smile in a place like this?
Barden Psychiatric Hospital was quite large, meaning that there was a fair number of people here. There were different rooms, most of which Chloe hadn't been in, that had numbers and plaques on the doors. In the main part of the hospital, there were games rooms, where people could sit around, watch TV, play pool, or just read a book. However, Chloe hadn't been there yet. Her roommate, Jessica, had been, but she said that it wasn't as pleasant as it sounds. Also in the pain part, was the cafeteria, the classrooms, and the different therapy rooms.
Chloe was staying in the left wing, and she hadn't even been outside yet, despite the fact that she has all access to the grounds. The only place she had stayed since she arrived was her room. Today though, she had therapy. And she wasn't particularly thrilled to be here, talking about her illness, but she had no other choice.
She wasn't interested in any of the other people here either. All she wanted to focus on was getting better, and getting out of here. She had no intention of getting close to anybody, despite how much she wanted to make friends, and actually act like a normal human being. Like the people in her support group for example.
The blonde, Aubrey something, and Stacie – they both seemed really nice. And Beca. She still wasn't sure why the brunette had stuck up for her yesterday, or why she seemed okay with Chloe putting her hand on her thigh when she started to panic. And Chloe, don't get her wrong, she's never been bothered with physical contact ever since her diagnosis, she neither loves it nor hates it, but even she couldn't deny the spark that she felt when she touched Beca.
She found herself thinking about the small brunette. Looking at Beca, you wouldn't think that she would be suicidal. Depressed? Hardly. A little closed off? Yes. But not suicidal. It just goes to show that people don't always come across as how you perceive them in your head. Another thing she's learned since her diagnosis. Back to Beca though, Chloe still doesn't know much about her. All she knows is that she tried committing suicide. She doesn't know how or why, because Beca hadn't opened up to the group that much other than her little input yesterday. But Chloe felt that if she would wait, and be patient with her, Beca would tell her. Hopefully.
"Chloe. Are you listening?"
Chloe suddenly looked up again, heaving a sigh. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Janet smiled. "Are your wrists okay?"
She sniffed, inhaling a sharp breath as she looked down at her wrists. Her wrists that now had dark, harsh bruises around them. She sucked in another breath, held it for a moment before letting it go again, but didn't say anything. Her eyes started to dart around the room again as she tapped her fingers on her bottom lip, trying not to make eye contact with Janet.
"I'm sorry they had to strap you down like that. And I'm sorry that Jesse teased you about it."
"It's not his fault." She whispered hoarsely, shaking her head as she turned to stare at the floor. She didn't see Janet smile sympathetically at her, nor did she see the silhouette approach the door, ready to knock.
"Chloe, we're trying to help you get better. How come you stopped taking your medication?"
The brunette was about to knock on the small window on the door, but stopped when she heard Chloe's name. She moved so she couldn't be seen, but she could still hear their conversation due to the door being quite thin. She held her breath, suspecting that if she so much as breathed too heavily, Chloe would hear her and see that she was eavesdropping. She wasn't eavesdropping though, really. She just wanted to know more about Chloe. She never understood schizophrenia, and she figured that if she couldn't find the guts to actually ask Chloe, then why not hear it second hand?
"I wanted to prove to you..." Chloe paused, placing her hands on her lap. "I wanted to prove to you that you were wrong."
"Wrong about what?"
She clenched her jaw, immediately wiping the tear that slid down her face. At this, she caught sight of the bruises on her wrist again, and she sucked in a breath before letting it out. Her eyes darted around the room for a few seconds, before settling on Janet's desk.
"Wrong about me. About my diagnosis."
She bit the inside of her mouth, trying not to start crying. It was bad enough that she had to do this, never mind start crying in front of her therapist. She took a deep breath and shook her head.
"But you're not wrong. I have schizophrenia."
Beca, sensing the vulnerability in Chloe's voice, chose that now was a good time to knock on the door. As she did, she pulled her sleeves up passed her wrists so that Janet, or Chloe, couldn't see them.
"Come in!"
She slowly opened the door, peaking her head around it and looking at them both with curiosity. Janet was sat with her hands clasped together on her desk, and Chloe had her back faced towards Beca.
"What can I do for you?"
"Um, I don't mean to be a bother but..." she paused, seeing Chloe turn around at the sound of her voice. She gave the redhead a quizzical look as Chloe suddenly folded her arms, away from the brunette's line of sight, before looking back at Janet. "I just finished my therapy session. Dr Cannon wants to see you. He said it was pretty urgent."
"Oh." The older woman nodded as she stood up, picking up her coat from the back of her chair. She turned towards Chloe, who stood up and hugged her arms to her body. The redhead was trying her hardest not to look at Beca, but every now and then, her eyes would roam over the brunette's petite frame.
"I'm sorry I had to cut this session short, but I'll see you in tomorrow's session. Okay?"
The redhead just nodded, following Janet out of her room. She couldn't help but notice how Beca had stayed behind, and for a second, she thought she had stayed behind for her. But then the brunette started walking away, with Janet following her, and realised that she was taking the older woman to wherever Dr Cannon was.
With another sigh, looking around the hallway, she folded her arms across her chest and made her way back to her room.
