(NIALL'S POV)
Going to school was hell every day. People would call me names, look at me funny and beat me up. Sometimes I was thankful for the beatings. At least with them I knew that people could see me. Sometimes I feel invisible, so I find myself walking right by a bully on purpose so that I can get tripped or slapped. I feel bad for myself but then I remember that I am worthless. No one wants me. No one even fucking talks to me. I was terrifed of doing something wrong. I feel like if I slip up once, it will stay with me for the rest of my life. It will constantly be one my mind nagging me. It's just another reason to remind people that I'm not perfect. I'm the ugly gay boy who cuts and starves himself.
It's true wherever you heard it from that I cut. It started at summer camp when I had a friend who cut himself. He was bullied at school too and the only way to calm himself down. So when I came home from summer camp I was completely focused that I would take this year by the balls. That year I walked into school with my head held high and I was welcomed by a face plant into the ground and a black eye from the school bully, Harry.
"Hey fag, were gonna have lots of fun this year. Ya? "
Well we did most defiantly not have fun last year. That night I went on my Facebook and once again was bombarded by insults that were messaged to me. I read all of them while crying silently. I was so enraged, so helpless. Then I remembered my friend and went into my restroom, popped a blade out of my razor and began. I lifted up my sleeve and took the cold sharp piece of metal into my hand. I pressed it to my skin and winced. It took me a while to get used to the pain. But after a while it was a relief to feel the pain; it was nice just to know that I could still feel. So it's true I cut can't live with it; can't live without it.
I don't think that Harry will be a problem this year though. He was a senior last year so that… oh shit my luck just keeps getting better and better.
"Hey fag, looks like I get one more year with you! Look how lucky are we!" He says as he punches me in the gut. His friends hold me down while he punches me in the face and ouch my balls.
"Ew, gross I bet he liked that!" said one of his friends. Harry smirked and winks at me. Shit, I have a hard on. Worst timing ever! Harry follows my eyes and laughs. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment any longer because Harry sent a flying punch to the bridge of my nose and I blacked out, great. This is a fucking wonderful way to start a new year.
