Chapter 2
New Orleans, Louisiana
Hello my lovely readers both men and women alike. It's your friendly neighborhood merc with a mouth Deadpool speaking. Now you all probably know this schtick by now with me making references to real life stuff and breaking the fourth wall to speak to all you sexy motherfuckers (come on all you Oedipus people out there. If you don't know who he is ask your theatre or english teachers they'll tell you). Anyways as I was saying before I got side tracked by a shiny unicorn, this chapter shall be from MY point of view as the sexy piece of ass Mr. Peter Parker tries tracking me down.
It was a lovely day in the French Quarter as the birds were singing, the jazz was playing and the drunk whores were passed out on the street. Ah the lovely New Orleans was my kind of city and here no one cares what you look like. As long as you have cash you can have whatever you want speaking of which.
"Yellow?" I chirped as I answered the phone next to my bed. It was a certain spideyboy looking for me trying to get answers that he didn't want to nor need to know.
"Wade I'm in New Orleans and I'm lost. Can we meet somewhere and talk please?" he pleaded in a begging tone that set my loins ablaze. I knew that Nicky-poo had sent poor widdle itsy bitsy spidey to come and get me but honestly I liked the kid, always had.
"Ofcourse my little spidey widey. Where are you right now?" I asked curiously wondering how close he was to the French Quarter. The phone squealed as I dropped it and turned too late to run as Peter webbed me to the wall. "Well Pete if you wanted to get kinky right aay you should atleast take me on a date first."
"Wade I'm here to bring you in to Fury. He said you killed a s.h.i.e.l.d. agent Wade. Please tell me it isn't true," the boy whined out staring at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. I sighed and kept my mouth shut because be honest he DID tell me to not tell him. "Wade did you kill that agent yes or no?"
"Look Pete I can explain everything if you'll look in that drawer by the nightstand," I prompted him as I prepared for my escape. Peter looked in the drawer then looked back as I was long gone having used my super secret ninja skills. I ran down the French Quarter practically naked as I searched for my next hiding spot. I am pretty good at hiding unless its from Fury or well Peter. I couldn't tell Peter that what Nick said was true because it would break the poor kid's heart.
I panted as I waited for anything to signal his whereabouts to let me know when it was safe. After ten minutes I decided to leave my hiding spot but as soon as I did he was standing right there and webbed me again. This time he covered my mouth which was a smart move on his part. To say I have a magic tongue is putting it mildly to say the least. I spent months at this kid's house while I recovered from well life and I learned every trick to make him squirm.
"Wade I don't know why you did it or if you even did but all I know is if I bring you in Fury said he would listen to your side of the story," Peter said as he hauled my ass into a car. I rolled my eyes as if Fury would let me talk. Yeah right, I knew how to make Nick squirm just as much as Peter. Sadly my luck had finally ran out for poor little me that is until a freak storm hit the bayou and forced us to stay put in Louisiana.
