The thing about gunshot wounds is they take a long ass time to recover from. And I'm not exactly a patient person. Carson said I needed to be on bed rest, and would be for weeks.

That wasn't going to happen.

I crept out of the med bay and joined the other members of Sanctuary to watch Negan give a speech, one I already knew was coming: we were going to war. Alexandria was a threat to everything we had built, and they needed to be taken out.

I was standing off to the side and watching him in fascination. The way he commanded everyone, and spoke to this crowd—it was the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. He was so strong and determined; I couldn't help but smile as he spoke.

Once he finished addressing the crowd, he looked over to where I was standing, and frowned. He had already lectured me multiple times on how I needed to stay in bed, but he knew how stubborn I could be. He marched over to where I was leaning against the wall, grinning at him.

"Nina…" he started in, coming up to me.

"I know, I know. But I'm feeling much better today," I assured him, standing up straight, and doing my best to show him I wasn't lying. The pain was getting better, but I was still really sore. Not that he needed to know that.

"You've been shot, babe. You need to rest." He was starting to sound repetitive, and I knew it was because he cared about me. It was still getting really old.

"We have a war to prepare for. I wanna help get everything ready for when it's time to attack," I explained, putting my arms around his neck and gazing into his eyes. A serious expression came over his face.

"You're not fighting."

"Of course I am!" I smiled a bit wider at him. "You're gonna need me if you're gonna take those assholes on, and you know it."

"You're not leaving the Sanctuary, and that's final. I'm not fucking arguing with you on this." He took a step away, and I dropped my arms, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Negan, I-"

"Simon! Escort my wife back to the medical bay, please," Negan cut me off, and turned to walk away. His right-hand man walked up and grabbed me by the arm gently, but I pulled away from his grasp.

"I can walk by myself, thanks," I said, glaring at my husband. I loved him, but holy shit, could he be a huge jerk.

I returned to the medical bay, and didn't want to crawl back into bed and wait around to hear about what happened. Unfortunately it was out of my hands. Simon stood in the doorway and crossed his arms, watching me. I felt like I was a little kid again, and I let out a loud sigh, and sat back onto the medical bed.

Simon loomed over me for quite some time, making sure I did as I was told. I turned on my good side and closed my eyes, becoming so frustrated at not being able to do anything. I really wished I hadn't been shot at Alexandria, but I was glad it had been me and not Negan.

After a while, Simon's walkie-talkie buzzed to life and one of this men said he needed him. He told them he would be right there, and then turned to me.

"Stay put," he ordered, racing out of the room. I waited a few seconds to hear him disappear down the hallway, and then swung my legs out of bed.

Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

I walked right out of the med bay and headed up to Negan's room—our room. I went straight to a dresser and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes. I was just zipping up a new pair of jeans when I heard the door open behind me.

"Fuck, Nina. Do I need to tie you down to the bed?" I looked over my shoulder as Negan entered, setting Lucille down on a nearby chair.

"Any other time that would sound like a good time, but no. You're not tying me up. You're gonna let me fight," I said in a serious tone.

"Like fucking hell I am!" Negan almost shouted, and I turned to face him. He was getting pissed, but I didn't really give a damn. I wanted to be a part of this, and he was going to let me.

"You can't stop me, Negan!" I shot back, crossing my arms. My husband had a bit of a temper on him, but I never backed down from it. I wasn't going to lose this argument.

"Yes, I can. And I will. I'll throw you in the fucking cells if I have to!" He was enraged, but his threats meant nothing to me.

"Do it! I fucking dare you!" I called his bluff, knowing damn well he wasn't going to do that to me.

Negan was glaring at me, and then looked away and brought a hand to his face, cupping his mouth as if he was thinking.

"I'm going with you," I added, walking over to the closet and going to grab my leather jacket.

"I can't lose you!" His voice made me freeze. The desperation in his voice was almost tangible—it was like I could feel it, deep within my heart.

I was speechless for a few moments, not knowing how to respond. Of course I knew he loved me, but this worrisome man wasn't the Negan I had come to know. In fact, since I had taken a bullet, he had been acting more and more concerned about my well being.

"You didn't lose me, and you won't," I responded, taking my jacket off the coat hanger. I didn't realize he was approaching me from across the room until his voice was directly behind me.

"I know you want to be a badass, but you're not at your best. You need more time to heal." Negan reached over me and took the jacket out of my hands. I turned to try and grab it back, but he held it out of my reach.

"Negan, give me my jacket," I demanded, holding my arm out.

"It's not gonna happen, Nina." He looked down at me with sad, serious eyes.

I let out a frustrated sigh, and then placed my hands onto his chest and shoved him hard. He didn't budge, so I pushed again. He dropped my jacket onto the ground and grabbed both my arms and held them tight, preventing me from moving.

I was getting so frustrated with him and my shoulder was starting to hurt from the gunshot wound. I felt a few tears well up in my eyes, and I looked up at him, needing him to see how much this meant to me. I needed to be there for him—needed to make sure nothing happened to him.

Negan pulled me into his arms and held me there. I pressed my face into his chest and let myself cry. He wasn't saying anything, but he didn't have to. I wasn't completely healed, and fighting would be foolish. I just didn't want to lose him either. He was never going to let me leave, and knowing that was so infuriating. But it was also screamed volumes about how much this man loved me.

"Damn you," I mumbled into him as he continued to hold me.

He was right, and I knew it.

I promised Negan I would stay at the Sanctuary, and in doing so, he let me help plan the attack. The next day, he organized a group of men that would go and scout out the enemy community to the best of their ability, and use the information gathered to our advantage. Once the meeting was finished, I told Negan I was going to go to the dinner hall and get something to eat, but I was lying through my teeth. I was going to go with the scouting group, and prove to him, once and for all, that I was strong enough to fight in his war.

Knowing I would never convince them to take me with, I hid in the back of one of the trucks that was headed to Alexandria. Once we arrived, I jumped out as the vehicle stopped and went into the woods. It was the middle of the night, and no one saw me. I already had some knowledge of the community because I had spent a little bit of time pretending to be their friend. That's why I knew there was a part of the fence that was slightly broken where I could sneak in. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I was considering killing their leader Rick. With him dead, they would be screwed.

I snuck inside and was moving carefully, as to not be caught by any of their watchmen. I noticed they set up even more people at night, probably anticipating we would attack.

I was just about to round a house when a familiar voice made me stop in my tracks.

"Don't move," it ordered, and I threw my hands up, assuming they were armed. I slowly turned to see who had caught me.

Rick.

I glared at him, but kept my hands up. I was caught.

He shined a flashlight on my face and recognized me almost immediately. He was aiming his gun at me, and even in the dark of night I could see the black eye I had given him from our previous encounter. I wondered if he was hurting just as bad as I was, and if he had similar wrappings around his gunshot wound like me.

"Nina?" he asked, looking confused and slightly on edge. He probably thought Negan and his men were going to attack any second, and I kind of wished they were. This was supposed to be a scouting mission. I was starting to regret everything. There was no cavalry. Just me.

I should have listened to Negan.

"Hi, Rick," I said, smirking.

"Where's Negan?" he asked, looking around in the dark nervously.

"It's just me," I confessed, and it wasn't a total lie. The rest of the men weren't even going to be attacking now.

Rick didn't look like he believed me, but he motioned with the gun.

"Start walking," he ordered.

I complied and he directed me inside of a house. I was led into a basement, and I wondered why he hadn't shot me yet.

I noticed the cell almost immediately, and he forced me into it. He closed the door and locked it, continuing to aim the gun at me. Once I was stuck inside, he put the gun away and looked over to the stairs, and then back to me.

"Where is he?" he asked again.

I smiled and shook my head. I wasn't going to tell him anything. I knew Rick didn't have it in himself to kill me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, admitting to what I already knew. "I just want Negan."

"You'll never have him," I whispered, looking off to the side.

Rick studied me for a while without saying anything and then nodded and scoffed.

"You're with him." It wasn't a question, and he wasn't just talking about being on his side. Rick knew I belonged to him in every single sense of the word.

I closed my eyes and thought about my husband. He had no idea where I was. Depending on what happened in this war, I may never even see him again.

"I'm sorry." Rick's voice made me open my eyes. He sounded so sincere, and I didn't understand him at all. I had shot this man, and he was giving me sympathy and mercy. It was stupid of him, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"He's going to kill you all," I hissed.

Rick just nodded, but he wasn't agreeing with me. It was like he was putting the pieces together and now understood who I really was. I wasn't some random person Negan had convinced to work for him. I had, and always would be Negan's.

He turned away from the cell and headed up the stairs, turning the lights off, before he closed the basement door and I was left completely alone.

My shoulder pulsed in pain and I stared at the ceiling. I was trapped in a cage, and Negan had no idea where I was. What would he think when he discovered I was missing? Would he know to come here?

I slid down against the wall and sat on the cold floor.

I was trapped.