Disclaimer: I do not own Kidou Senshi Gundam SEED, or anything else, for that matter.

The young Red Elite MS pilot, Athrun Zala, woke up dazed as he usually did while on the Nazca-class flagship, Vesalius, the only unusual thing were abnormally large posters of his fiancée, Lacus Clyne. There was something different, though, something he just couldn't figure out. That's when it hit him; she was practically glaring daggers at you no matter which way you turn, almost as if it were following you. The whole thing was topped off by the chilling slogan, "Big Sister Is Watching You".

It was at this point that Athrun started to worry, but his comrade-at-arms, Nicol Amalfi, broke Athrun from his reverie by screaming rather shrilly and effeminately and ran to the door, yelling something or other about perverts, then his other teammate, Dearka Elsman sat up from his bed with a start and started sniffing the air not unlike a dog, and started for the door, literally breaking it down, barking all the while. The last one to awaken was Yzak Jule who seemed normal, except for the fact that he looked a bit more…Scottish than usual, as was seen when he was seen wearing his usual uniform, save for the fact that he was wearing a kilt, a Scottish sporran (or purse), Scottish boots known as Gillie Brogues, and a Scottish Tam O'Shanter hat. This proved to be the last straw for the young Aegis pilot as he promptly decided to leave, at which point, the Duel-pilot-turned-Scotsman promptly asked, "Oi, where're ye offta, laddie?" To which Athrun immediately replied "TO GET A FUCKING DRINK, WHERE ELSE!?!" said the overly agitated and severely freaked out young pilot. Yzak Jule then muttered to himself "There's nary a need to yell at me. Well, at least I can get some serious work done" That was when the rest of the Vesalius could have sworn they heard the sound of bagpipes playing throughout the ship.

Meanwhile, an hour later in the ship cafeteria, Athrun decided to look for some semblance of sanity on the rest of the ship, having found none, he decided to at least find himself some food. He found that, and more, the more part being his apparently insane wing mates, roomies, friends, comrade-at-arms, etc. Athrun, in his desperate bid for conversation and answers decides to sit with one of the three pilots. His first thought was to sit with the relatively sane GAT-X207 Blitz pilot, Nicol Amalfi. Athrun casually asked "Hey, Nicol, how's it hanging?" to which Nicol promptly maces him, yelling "DON"T YOU FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT, PERVERT!!!" At this point, Athrun is in blinding (pun intended) pain from the mace, all the while yelling "OH…OH GOD! OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PSYCHOTIC BASTARD!?! YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT! I'M FUCKIN' OUTTA HERE!!"

With that, Athrun Zala moves on to Dearka Elsman's table, hoping for a saner pilot to deal with. Athrun decided to confide with the blonde Buster pilot "This day is getting weirder and weirder. I'm surrounded by crazies and loons, save for you and Commander Le Creuset, which when I think about it, is very– " Athrun never got to finish his sentence as he saw something he would never forget, "Dearka, are you eating a doggie treat??" Dearka simply responded "BARK BARK!!!" Athrun was so surprised by this turn of events that he didn't notice him jumping over the table to play fetch with one of the other crewmembers.

At this point, Athrun held his hands in his face, muttering "My life is over. I have a paranoid schizophrenic, a guy who thinks he's a fucking dog, and a guy who's suddenly and inexplicably turned into a Scotsman, all three of whom are my wing mates, this day just cannot get any worse." Athrun was quickly disproven, as Yzak started wailing on the ship's cook, holding him by the collar and yelling "OI, WHAT D'YEH MEAN YEH D'NEH HAVE ANY HAGGIS?? I WANT ME BLOODY HAGGIS, YEH GREAT POOF!!!!" It was at this point that Athrun said to himself, "It just got worse."

Unbeknownst to Rau Le Creuset, his very curiosity just rocked the world of a certain ship carrying a certain violet-eyed Coordinator.

The Coordinator to which I'm referring to is our all-time favorite wimp, Kira Yamato, who was sleeping comfortably with a naked Flay Allster next to him, until Kira's robot pet, Birdy decided to give him a very rude wake up call, which went something like "WAKE UP WHEN I TELL YOU TO, YOU SODDING BASTARD!!!!" yelled Tori as a Cockney-sounding punk.

Kira replied rather differently than he would to this, "Acht, mein gott!!!! Vas ist das!?! ACHT!! Ein Britischer Vogel!!!! He then swatted at the offending artificial avian life form, thankfully, the brief, yet loud interaction between the two did not wake up Flay. He thought sheepishly to him, 'My German lessons must be messing up my thinking'. He then came to realize 'Wait a minute, I didn't program the personality of a British punk into Tori, eh, I'll deal with it later.' He thought. After donning some clothes for his naked body, he exited his quarters and was rather surprised to find his friend, Miriallia Haww, dressed completely in black, wearing white face paint and topped off with spiky hair.

He then noticed his other friend, Tolle Koenig, wearing a toga, shouting "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! 2000!" Next up, was yet another friend of his friends from Heliopolis, Sai Argyle, wearing a "Long Live the Legion" t-shirt, a pocket protector, had acne all over his face, and said "From this day forward, you will refer to me as 'Dungeon Master Sai'!" He then bumped into another friend of his, Kuzzey Buskirk, who responded "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, MAGGOT!!!!" Kira could not help but notice was wearing a thick blue uniform-shirt, a bandolier, and a metal helmet that covered the entire top half of his head, as Kira was looking at this new Kuzzey, Kuzzey was ranting about how Sun Tzu used some fight money to buy 2 of every animal, herded them onto a boat, and beat the crap out of them, something about farms and zoos, as well, Kira then decided to have some breakfast, leaving an extremely gung-ho sounding Kuzzey behind to rant and rave about the fictional exploits of Sun Tzu to his heart's content.

He then noticed other strange happenings there, as well, for starters, the "Hawk Of Endymion", Mu La Flaga, could not be seen anywhere, Natarle looked like a cat, ready to pounce on anything that so much as shivered, she even had the twitching ears and swishing tail, Murrue was what really caught his attention however, as she seemed to be carrying what seemed to be blueprints and diagrams of the men/boys' shower room, along with candid photos of himself and his friends, this was the clincher for him as he scooted away very, very slowly from her.


(A/N: Did anyone get what I was satirizing/implying? Oh, and FYI, I'm going to parody other things beside popular culture as well, so see if you can spot those as well. See ya.)

He then decided on an unoccupied table and set down his food tray, and wouldn't you know it, it was Green Mystery Goop. Again.

As he ate his unappetizing breakfast, his friends from Heliopolis, sat next to him. Silence reigned as the friends ate, Tolle decided to overthrow this reign by saying: "Hey, Kira, you sick and tired of eating the same thing every single day?"

This would prove to be the very turning point for Kira's day, for once he spoke, he said: "Ja, ich stimme zu, ich hasse dieses Essen ebenso."

He then clasped his hand over his mouth. Why was it that when he wanted to speak English, it came out as German?

Kira then tried again.

'Okay, say it again in fricking English this time "Yes, I agree, I hate this food as well."

"Ja, ich stimme zu, ich hasse dieses Essen ebenso.

'Oh dear God

I can't speak anything other than freaking German!

Damn, dirty German lessons!'

Tolle and the others were becoming very concerned for their Coordinator friend, who had his hands clasped over his mouth looked very scared, said: Hey, Kira, you okay?"

Kira though scared, unsuccessfully tried to cover it up, here's how it turned out: "Im Secour spricht Tolle, ich kann nicht, in wie andere Sprache. Ich kann, sprich im Deutsch nur! "

So like it or hate it? Please send me your reviews. Thank you and I like hearing from you. XD X3