Uchiha Sasuke is quite sure that he didn't (ever) mail-order any manga, thanks very much. He doesn't even read the stuff! Maybe as an ignorant seven-year-old, before That Man ruined everything, he might have picked up the habit of reading them. But right now, as he is? He'd much rather burn his arm to crisp (trying to learn jutsu, not just for the heck of it), than read childish books. He's not a child anymore, and he's not saying that just to be petulant. His dream – his goal, more like – is not one fit for children. Though children may often daydream about defeating and slaying enemy shinobi, Sasuke is quite certain none of them dream of the act in as much attention to detail – or with as much fantasies of inflicting excruciating torture – as he.

But that's neither here nor there.

The long and short of it is, he's pretty sure he didn't order the boxed manga compilation that is currently standing innocently by his doorstep. He hadn't opened it unaware of potential hazards like some idiot, of course, but after his cursory jutsu and seal scan of the package came up blank, his curiosity got the better of him. Upon opening it he was greeted by stacks upon stacks of manga volumes seemingly from the same series called…

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

What.

He pulls out one volume and glances at the cover. Pfft, naruto. If this is some kiddie manga about food ingredients, he'll- DOBE'S FACE IS PRINTED ON IT WHAT THE HELL!

The very sight of the dobe's ugly mug alone nearly makes him set the whole thing on fire jutsu. But he's better than that. He can't just randomly set his mail on fire while in public! He'd look like he got pranked! He lauds his own self-control when outwardly all he does is frown.

It was then an androgynous-looking nin walks by and waves at him, eyes the box of books and then the one book in his hand. "Woah, you bought them by bulk? You're hardcore! I had to read them online!"

Before Sasuke could contemplate what an adult nin was doing reading a manga about (and probably by) the stupid dobe, or even think about what "online" could possibly mean, the random nin turned a corner and disappeared from sight. Not before winking at you though, because you gotta agree, when it comes to Sasuke, mindfucked is just about as cute as buttfu—

Okay. Fine. The random nin disappears. There.