Chapter 1

I was 18 and had every intention of going back to America with Dean to get as far away from the Sawyers as possible.

It was actually Deans idea to go back to Tulsa, I wasn't sure I wanted to go back.

Until then I'd had one letter from my brothers in nearly four years, so I wasnt really interested in going to see them because they obviously didn't want to see or hear from me.

That all changed on my actual 18th, waking up on my birthday I wondered what Pony was doing, was he missing me? Carrying on our birthday tradition or just forgot about me.

Walking past Deans bedroom I banged on the door and laughed when I heard a loud thump, knowing he'd rolled out of bed.

In the kitchen I ignored the lone card and present on the table and ignoring the flashbacks of past birthdays with my brothers and parents, I got two bowls and cereal out for me and Dean.

I must have been daydreaming because next thing Dean is barrelling into to me and knocking us both to the floor, we spent about five minutes on the floor laughing and trying to catch our breath, finally we got up and sat at the table munching on frosties.

'Happy birthday sis' Dean said sliding the present over to me.

'Thanks Deano' I said ripping the paper off, to see a framed picture of me with my parents and brothers taken a month before the accident.

'I thought id lost this' I whispered

'Nah, I took it to get framed for you' he shrugged.

Looking at Dean then I couldn't help but love him for the fact he wasn't like his parents and something good came out of me living with the Sawyers.

'Maybe you should think about going back to them' Dean said not looking at me and concentrating on the morning paper.

'No' I said getting up and putting the bowls in the sink and walking out the kitchen straight into Mrs Sawyer or Linda as she went by.

'Follow me' she said curtly and stalked up the stairs.

Thinking I was going to be punished again I sighed and followed her up the stairs to her bedroom.

When I got their I was surprised to see that Mr sawyer wasn't there, but Linda was rummaging through a box and pulled out about 100 envelopes.

'Here' she said and threw the envelopes to me 'Their from your brothers'

Staring at the envelopes in shock, I didn't notice her leave and Dean come into the room.

'Lauren? What are they?' he asked

'Letters, from my brothers' I whispered back still in shock

Dean sighed and dragged me to his room and sat me down.

'Lauren are you going to read them?' he asked

'I dunno' I replied

Looking at the letters I saw theyd been sent the whole year I was still back home before we moved to England.

'I'll leave you alone' Dean said getting up and leaving.

I decided to open the letters.

I sat on Deans bed reading the letters the first few were just telling me that they missed me and were doing everything they could to get me back, but after a while my brothers kept asking why I wouldn't reply, some of the letters were written in anger some just asking what they did wrong, Darry wrote in one that Soda was taking this hard and blamed himself. In the last few letters my brothers sounded desperate, begging me to write back.

After finishing reading the letters I walked out of the door to find Dean reading his book leaning against the door, I let out a small chuckle when he rolled onto his back.

'Sodapop went to Vietnam' I said stepping back in to Deans room.

'Will you come back with me?' I asked Dean

Without asking where to, Dean nodded.