Authors Note 2/11/17: So all author's notes and postscripts will be maintained as they were originally written when the chapter was published the first time. So pardon the context if the messages seem out of date (specifically this will apply to notes about starting to play TOR which I have now played for six years hehe)
Authors Note: KotOR 2 story, Female Light Side Jedi Sentinel Exile named Alina Miston. Opening scene on Nar Shaddaa which was the first planet that was traveled too after Telos. Spoilers exist so you have been warned.
Shadows of a distant heart
Prologue
Echoes of the Force
Bao-Dur stared at the wall behind him wondering just how to fix a certain micro fracture without pulling down the entire scaffold.
"Well, what do you think… your laser could probably weld it together but the targeting would have to be a little bit more precise then you are capable of I think." The Iridonian stated to the little ball of diodes and plastesteel that floated a few meters over his left shoulder. For its part, the remote just beeped at him sorrowfully almost as if to tell its master and creator that it was sorry it couldn't be more useful.
"Don't worry… I think with some of the parts we just picked up from that droid merchant Kodin that we should be able to get you what you need." Bao-Dur returned to the remote. It beeped at him happily. After a few moments of work, the upgrade was complete. All the while, Bao-Dur had failed to notice that Alina had walked in and was doing something at the work bench. He sat back and watched her. They had been traveling together for some time now and even he could feel the change in her. She was no longer the General Miston that had been the leader of the battalion he had server in the Mandalorian wars. She was much more centered, calm, focused even. This was not to say that she was some bloodthirsty monster before… that was his claim. Still, she seemed so calm, so clear. It almost gave him hope that perhaps he could erase the stains of blood from his hands. Despite knowing that she still bore the scars of Malachor V, this new general was a thing of inspiration.
For his part, it was not like he himself was not useful in her path. He reminded her of what a lightsabre would mean for her and assisted her in creating one while they will still on Nar Shadaa. As he watched her work he realized that that focus was turned to something she was building. He was unsure of what specifically but it appears to components for a new lightsabre.
"Strange, the general fights with a single blade… why would she need to build another?" He thought to himself. The remote for its part simply floated over to the work bench and beeped at Alina. Alina failed to notice the orb completely absorbed in her work. The Iridonian decided to investigate the matter further.
"General… what has you so focused?"
….
Alina walked confidently with this new addition to their group. Mira was a bounty hunter, one among many sent to capture her. Alina however felt no hostility from the woman. Her senses were more focused upon the wound she carried and felt almost a kinship in what they seemed to share. She was unsure of what to do or say. These feeling were still taking some getting used to and the fact that Kreia could see her every thought was not helping matters.
Alina knew what it was to be touched by the force. She knew that this woman, this hunter had been both touched and harmed by the force… just as she herself had once been. There was something more than this. There was another set of feeling… almost a whisper or a reflection of something from afar. Alina herself was still getting reacquainted with the force and the feeling of that touch after her long exile. But this… this didn't feel like the force per se.
She knew that every living being resonated with the force but this was more than a simple wave and yet, at the same time less. It was like a whisper from a distant voice… a drop of a pin in a rancor pen. Even in that however it was something she could not ignore… something which pressed on her every time she looked at the red headed warrior. Perhaps after some time with her, Alina could solve this feeling and understand what this energy was.
She decided now was as good of a time as any to speak. She slowed her pace a bit and pulled up beside Mira. She spent a moment studying the woman. There was of course the red hair… not an unusual color but on her it just seemed… to stand out. Soon Alina's gaze fell to the other woman's eyes. It was here… looking deep into the pools of emerald green that she knew that this hunter carried within her both great sorrow… and great potential. Mira just looked towards the Jedi that had been her target and raised an eyebrow.
"What? Is there something on my face?" She asked her. Alina blinked, surprised by the question. She was snapped back to reality.
"No, no not at all. I just wanted to talk to you a bit." Alina stated still studying the woman beside her. Mira seemed to be a bit confused by this but shrugged.
"Sure, what do you want to know?" She answered. Alina wanted to know everything… but she decided to start with a simple question.
"You seem so much more comfortable here then you did on GO-TOs ship or even the Ebon Hawk… why is that?"
"Well, Nar Shaddaa is not the gem of a galaxy but at least it is alive. Here at least I can feel things, I can see people going about their daily business. On the ship… I just feel trapped. I am probably not making a lot of sense am I?" Mira stated scratching her head a bit. Alina for her part just smiled.
"No, actually you make perfect sense. In fact, Kriea told me recently about listening to the moon. How everything on Nar Shaddaa has a pulse, a life of its own. So in reality I may know a little bit more than you would think." Alina chuckled a bit and smiled at Mira. Mira just blinked looking at the Jedi smiling at her.
"Well, I'm not sure I would put it that way…" Mira retorted.
"Still, you certainly put it in an interesting manner." Alina stated. She knew the idea of the force, though known galaxy wide; might still be nothing more than hooky religious non-sense to most.
"Really? I never thought I would hear a Jedi refer to Nar Shaddaa as interesting." Mira stated looking quizzically at the Jedi beside her. Alina for her part continued to show the bounty hunter her calm smile.
"I may not be like most Jedi you have met in the past. Though you are not like most bounty hunters I know either. Why don't you kill your targets?" Alina asked her smile still present but now a quizzical look rested upon her face as well. Mira was starting to get more comfortable speaking with her.
"Yeah well, it's not like I haven't killed anyone before. I just don't do it unless I have to." Mira stated looking off into space. This confused Alina a bit.
"You don't seem to hold back with me?" She asked. Mira blinked… was it that obvious? Then again she didn't even know why she could open up this easily to someone just met. It was almost as if she just felt… comfortable with her.
"I know… with you it's different. I am not sure why. I just feel… I don't know… comfortable around you. Gah… I sound like such a little girl, sorry about that." Mira stated as she stopped walking. She wandered over to rails that overlooked the massive drop that was Nar Shaddaa staring off into space once more. Alina walked over and put her hand on the bounty hunter's shoulder. Almost instantly, she felt a spark upon doing so. It was something she never felt before with anyone.
She wondered what this feeling was. It was not like she was new to the force even if she had been separated from it for a time. This was something new to her… she had spent most of her life surrounded by the force but this was some foreign to her… though it was not uncomfortable. In fact it almost felt like this was something missing that was slow returning to her… just like the force… a part of her. She looked up at Mira and the look on her face showed that she felt something similar. They both looked into each other's eyes for a moment and then both turned away.
"What was that… why did I… what was that feeling?" Alina asked herself. A few moments of silence felt like eternity and Alina decided it was time to continue their pervious conversation.
"I guess, after spending so much time here you know that all life is connected. Malachor proved that… I can tell that you know what the loss of family means… even to those you target." Alina said returning her hand to Mira's shoulder. Mira's expression changed. She turned to the Jedi and pushed her hand away.
"Oh, I do do I? How could you ever hope to possibly understand what I know… what I had to go through. I know what the Jedi do; they take you away from your family and teach you not to care. You can't possibly know what it means to lose your family; how it feels to watch your family killed by Mandalorians and knowing you couldn't do anything to protect them. You didn't come to Malachor to protect… you came to destroy." Mira stated angrily. Alina could feel the pain in her words and the sorrow in her heart and it hurt her. It was strange… she was not hurt by the comments or the accusation… she was hurt by the pain she caused Mira. Alina stepped back and looked up at the stars.
"I have never stopped trying to protect people… even at Malachor." Alina returned softly. She could feel the pain in Mira and it caused her heart to ache. Another uncomfortable silence between them soon became unbearable to her. She could not explain it but Alina just wanted to reach out and tell this woman that everything would be alright. But she knew she had hurt her and she had to say something.
"Mira… I want to apologize for my words… I did not mean to hurt you." She stated walking back over to the bounty hunter. Mira looked over her shoulder at the Jedi and sighed.
"Whatever… don't worry about it. It's just a sore subject with me that's all." She stated looking back at Alina. She couldn't figure out why this Jedi cared so much. What was worse was that she couldn't figure out why she gave a damn about what the Jedi felt. Alina returned her hand to Mira's shoulder.
"Still, I am sorry that you lost your family at Malachor." Alina stated. Her face was open and warm and Mira couldn't seem to resist it, allowing her anger to fade away once more. She shrugged.
"Yeah… well they're dead. I can't change that. That's how the story ends." Mira stated turning to Alina. Looking upon the face of the other woman she couldn't help but smile a bit herself.
"Does it? You are still here and you are still doing what you can to survive." Alina stated.
"There's a lot of people out there… scattered since the war. I'm good at finding people, perhaps I can help others so they don't have to the feel loss I do." Mira stated looking deep into the eyes of the woman in front of her. What was this feeling… why could she open up and let this woman in when there was no one else that she could ever do that with? What was so special about this woman? She had just met this woman and she felt a connection… a deep connection like none she had ever felt before.
Alina smiled at this comment, every moment she spent with this woman she could see the deep potential she had for good. In addition to this every moment she spent another feeling was growing. It was like the feeling she got when she first placed her hand on Mira's shoulder but it was becoming deeper and harder to ignore. However there would be time later to figure out what it was; for now she had a task to get back to.
"All things are connected through the force. With small acts of kindness great things can come." She stated. Mira for her part just chuckled a bit.
"Right… like I have anything to do with the force. The only things I believe are things that I can lay my hands on." Mira looked at the Jedi and smiled. Alina couldn't help but joining her in her chuckle.
"You have more to do with the force then you might suspect." Alina stated coming back to the conversation. Mira blinked… she was serious.
"Fine… prove it. Show me what you mean." Mira stated almost challenging this Jedi. Alina smirked.
"That will not be difficult at all, I can do it right here on Nar Shaddaa."
"Ok… but I don't think you are going to show me anything I don't already know." Mira returned. Alina smile returned to one of genuine caring and she looked deep into Mira's eyes.
"Then close your eyes and clear your mind." Mira nodded and did so.
"Focus on the feelings you have… focus on the pulse of the planet and on the living things that reside here." Alina stated. She could see that Mira was starting to hear everything, that the force was awakening in her and that she was struggling with it.
"Do not turn from it…" Alina stated calmly. Mira continued to struggle with the new feelings.
"I can hear it… the entire planet. Louder than I've ever felt… I can't… I can't block it out." She stated in pain. Alina knew this feeling… like someone opened a flood gate on an unsuspecting village.
"I can train you Mira… to use the potential I know you have… to become something greater then you are and to protect others." Alina stated placing her hands on Mira's shoulders. Mira opened up her eyes and looked deeply into the Jedi's… the woman's eyes before her. She saw it… a feeling, an emotion that she had not seen in a long time. It couldn't be that though, she had to be mistaken. But she knew she wanted what was being offered to her. She wanted to know what that emotion in this woman's eyes was, she wanted to embrace it, she wanted to wrap herself up in it.
"Please… I want to be like you… I want to be strong. I don't want to be afraid or alone anymore. When the galaxy takes something from me I want to be strong enough to let it go and…', this last bit was hard for her to say as she wasn't even sure what it meant but she felt that it was something she had to say; '…when it gives me something, I want to be able to accept it with open arms and an open heart." Alina smiled, she was unsure what Mira meant with the last statement or of feelings that it caused in her own heart. But there would be more time for that later.
"Mira… I have shown you the way… but only you can walk the path. I can tell you it is not an easy one but I promise to be there for you… and with you… the whole way." This last part Alina stated while taking Mira's hands in her own. Mira simply looked at her and smiled. For the first time… she felt that she was not alone.
"We probably should be getting back to the ship." Mira stated the light of her smile could have probably brightened even the darkest moon. Neither of the women wanted to pull away… they felt it, a bond that neither truly understood nor did they wish to turn away from it. Alina was the first to pull away.
"Indeed, there is much I need to do and much I have to show you." She stated turning towards the dock where the Ebon Hawk was. She was unsure of what the feelings she had were but knew that understanding would come in time. Now was the time to continue their mission.
"This is going to take some time to get used." She thought to herself. She knew in her heart that this was right… perhaps the most right thing that had ever happened to her. In that moment she felt the force and for the first time in a long time she began to feel whole again.
Authors Note Ending: Ok, so these are a retelling of scenes from the game. You can probably see where I am going with this. Some of the dialogues were copied from the actual text of the game while most was written by me. Hopefully the characterizations don't suck too much. The first paragraphs will make more sense in the next chapter.
