Akatsuki Drama House Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto by means of the anime, manga or characters

A/N: It is boring the first couple of chapters, no worries though, the hotness will be here soon (Do I here knocking? :o) And note that this is a fanfic- not the actual manga or anime (must I say that?).

On that note: I'm putting Sasori and Tobi in the story even though (SPOILER) Sasori is dead and Tobi does not truly make an appearance until after his death. And I make Deidara say "Hmm" instead of what most people make him say which is "Yeah". I like "Hmm" better. Heart.

Another note: Zetsu's multiple personal deal-ly: For his kinder side I use normal text, for his evil…er side I use italics. :D

Akatsuki Drama House

Several Stories of the Akatsuki Yaoi Life A Work in Progress xD

Story Two- Deidara's Fascination

'So lonely.'

Deidara walked on through the thick of the woods. Angry stickle-bushes grabbed at him, attaching themselves like crazed followers. He kicked the shrubs and boughs that constricted him in an aggravated thrashing. Pollen and dandelion fluff floated into the sky whimsically, tickling his face. In an almost animal-like behavior, he flailed his arms, trying to beat away the drifting seeds.

Deidara's golden hair frizzed out to the irritation. He rubbed his watering eyes in an attempt to flush out the many spores developing around his face. With a deep sigh he threw himself out of the path of weed and flower and onto a dirt mound. A simple brush into the soil with his heels made the wind elevate it all onto his cloak. Annoyed twitches filled his veins. A frustrated pat to his cloak helped lift the dirt from the black material.

"Damned spring, hmm…" Deidara hissed. He wiggled himself lightly to free his body of any excess pollen.

"And its—its—its plant babies!" He growled.

A sudden shiver ran up his nose. Trying to block off the sneeze that filled him he grabbed his face. It was too late though. The sneeze shoved itself from his body. Deidara jerked his head forward, afterwards wiping his nose innocently with his sleeve.

"Guh…" He groaned.

"Bless you."

Deidara turned to the sudden voice. From within the tree morphed a tall, frightening man. The larger man stepped with ease from his tree, the giant mouth-like projection about his head stiffly stood. His face—separated by black and white tattoos. Deidara could not help but smile.

"Zetsu-san." He said with a nasally voice.

Zetsu stared at him, observing the blonde's condition. His disheveled sun-gold hair. His moist eyes that looked as if they belonged to a lone kitten. His dirty clothes. His nose red as if it were winter. Deidara's entire site was pathetically amusing.

"What's the matter? Can't take nature?" Zetsu laughed.

"Ah-ha ha." Deidara chuckled, rubbing his nose. "It's just temporary allergies… I hope."

"Oh, I hope so also. We can't have you failing any missions due to it." The giant plant said.

"It's just these cursed dandelions. They're everywhere." Deidara moaned.

"Lets get out of the woods then, shall we? So you can stop complaining." Zetsu said as he began to walk off.

"Ooh, Zetsu. You're the only flower I can tolerate." Deidara giggled, following behind the other man.

Once outside the forest the two Akatsuki members stopped by a river. Deidara plunged his face into the water, scrubbing his skin tenderly. He wiggled himself from his cloak and hung it on a nearby bough. As it hung he roughly patted it, beating it of its filth. A few licks of his finger helped to rub out some of the ground-in stains.

Zetsu placed himself at a choice tree. He gazed upon Deidara's tidying for a few long moments then clamped up his spiked branches that hovered at his neck and head. He closed his yellow eyes for but a minute of rest, crossing his legs and arms. He knew that Deidara would watch over him if he slept for a while.

Deidara sighed. He was exhausted from his travel. He smiled at his work of cleansing his cloak then turned to Zetsu with mouth open as if to say something. When he noticed that the man was literally shut up, he stared. It was such a bizarre sight, this man. His large green plant-like jaws wrapped around him. It looked so very snug. Deidara could not help but giggle.

The man looked so innocent and simple, even though he had two sides to him. Deidara did as he always did when the mysterious Zetsu slept, he watched. Deidara sat down with crossed legs and just stared. The plant-man moved slightly in response to his breathing. Deidara loved it. He remembered gazing upon the man whenever he was near. He would instantly ditch Sasori to look at Zetsu. The plant being was an amazing sight. He intrigued Deidara. Ever since he came into the Akatsuki he was astounded by this strange, Venus Flytrap-like man. How he lived, his behavior, his skills. Everything about him made Deidara wonder more and more about him until it became a sort of obsession. Deidara did not see it as an obsession, though. He saw it more as observation, hypothesis, science, input. He tried putting a new name to it but it was all the same in the back of his mind: Obsession.

Zetsu flinched. A slight jerk to a bug disturbing his sleep.

Deidara smiled. He sighed in content. At times he saw himself like a researcher observing an animal. Sometimes he wanted to bring a note-pad and take notes. Although, he knew that if he did bring such a thing all that would be put in it was Zetsu's name with a heart around it and perhaps a few doodles.

A calming cloud drifted over the intense sun. Deidara looked to his right to find a broken stick. Picking up he began to draw. The drawing was a bird at first, but slowly it drifted into Zetsu. He drew until he heard Zetsu lightly snore which made Deidara almost squeak. He was like a love struck schoolgirl.

"Why were you traveling alone? Where's Sasori?" Zetsu suddenly spoke, his branches opening slightly so that only one bright eye peeked out.

"I thought you were asleep, hmm." Deidara threw the stick aside. He used his heels to kick at his picture, scrambling it.

"I'm out of clay… so I'm off to get more. Sasori didn't want to come so he's tending to his puppets, hmm."

"Hn." Zetsu mumbled, closing himself back up.

Deidara cleared his throat. He took off his pack that sat at his hip and flung it open. Tiny bits of clay were dried to the fabric container. It made Deidara so sad to have it empty like this. It almost made him feel empty. He gently placed the sack aside, being sure as to not disturb Zetsu at all. To cure his boredom he began to play with his feet, picking at each toe. From his toes he moved onto his hands, opening and closing them, having the mouths within them chew.

Then, like a child with little attention, he stared back up to Zetsu, silently crawling closer to him.

'I wonder what it feels like, hmm?' He asked himself.

He reached out but quickly retracted his arms. For a moment he gazed at Zetsu, seeing if he would move.

"Zetsu… Are you awake, hmm?" He whispered.

When no response came from the larger man he reached out again. Noticing he was not close enough he lightly shuffled closer. Subtly he caressed the plant's attachments. The green jaws were smooth, just like a Venus Flytrap's head, as expected. Deidara became overconfident in his touch that he pressed hard. Zetsu wrenched very slightly but it was enough to make Deidara jump back.

"Sorry! Sorry! …Hmm." He quickly said.

Zetsu did nothing more. He still slept, or at least acted well. Deidara sighed but grinned. He wiped his hands from fearful sweat and drool to again crawl close.

He wanted to explore the plant more. He was never so close to Zetsu before, it was a perfect chance. The plant's fingers flinched. Deidara reached out his index finger to poke the blackened hand, then the white one. He did so just to see if they differed. They did not. Both were smooth and soft, as if Zetsu put on lotion each day. His attention drifted down to the man's toes. One black, one white, purple nail polish. His pinched one and looked up to Zetsu. Nothing. He pinched another; it was almost like a game. He looked up to Zetsu's head. Nothing. Deidara smirked.

The plant was dead asleep. Or at least he was pretending and was very patient. Deidara was like a curious animal—picking, poking, and feeling. He lurched closer still, becoming more and more confident with his slyness. With a slick grin he came so close to Zetsu that he could smell him. His scent was indeed like a flower. Deidara could not tell which one though; he was not skilled in flower determination. His observation slipped past the point of innocent curiosity to promiscuous interest. He became pretentious and felt as if he could get away with plainly feeling Zetsu.

So many thoughts wriggled in his mind like sexual maggots. Childlike became dirty in a brash instant. He began to wonder of Zetsu's nether regions. Of the plant's texture beyond the cloak, mesh shirt and below his belt.

Every so often Deidara would glance up at the giant spines covering the man's face, to see if he woke. When he noticed that he seemed not be disturbed by his fondling he checked less often. Soon his nibbling hands grabbed Zetsu's cloak and quietly popped each button apart. The plant's body gradually was revealed to the artist's eye. All that covered the black and white built chest was a simple irritating mesh shirt. Deidara's tongue nonchalantly traced his lips, a habit of when he inspects something. His sight soon landed upon Zetsu's pants. His foul curiosity heightened.

His fingers pinched the pants' button. The mouths planted within his palms chattered. The snap occurred. Deidara blinked to the sound. His fingers dwindled to the zipper's handle. Sweat gathered at his forehead, dripping delicately down his precarious jaw. His brows tilted. The grinding noise of the zipper was granted to Deidara's ears for but a second before it was disturbed.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Deidara's vision bounced up and onto Zetsu's now glaring eyes. The plant's large jaws were opened to their peak. His eyes were a dim yellow as they scolded Deidara.

Deidara threw his hands up like a captive child. He straightened his back and nervously smiled.

"I—You, uh, need a cleaning, hmm?" He chuckled fretfully.

"Are you planning on cleaning my dick?" Zetsu hissed.

Deidara shook his head rapidly. "No, no! I saw a bug! Crawling into your clothes!" He laughed.

"You could've just woken me." Zetsu said unmoved.

"You, uh, wouldn't wake, hmm." The blonde scratched his neck.

"You're full of it. You just wanted to get into my pants. What? Sasori not plowing you enough?" Zetsu chuckled in an intimidating voice.

Deidara jumped at the fact of having Sasori upon him. "That's disgusting, hmm!" He yelled. "He's not even human! I couldn't! He has the face of a child!" He shuddered at the thought.

"And yet you have no problem sucking off a tree?" Zetsu huskily laughed.

"You don't have to be so crude about it." Deidara tensely smiled.

An awkward pause took place. Deidara attempted to scoot farther from Zetsu before the plant spoke.

"Are… you going to or not?" He asked.

Deidara looked up to him, his bangs swinging. He smiled gently, looking to the right slightly then back at Zetsu in a shy motion. His smooth and pale cheeks blushed lightly as his long eyelashes enhanced by the sudden sunlight.

"Do you want me to?" He timidly asked.

"It's up to you." Zetsu smiled, spreading his legs ever so slightly.

Deidara chuckled softly. He brushed back his stray hair and lurched forward. Zetsu gazed on the blonde as his head sunk down. His pupil-less yellow eyes dulled low.

Deidara took hold of the zipper once again and lowered it. He dipped his hands into the pants and retrieved his target. He revealed the plant's size to the sun. Pulling back to survey Zetsu's member, he allowed the tongues amongst his hands to work. The wet abnormal muscles within the misplaced mouths skillfully traced Zetsu's length. They slipped slickly around the organ, arousing the plant's every nerves.

"You're black and white everywhere, aren't you, hmm?" Deidara giggled.

The tongues engulfed the plant's size with warm saliva. They easily caused the organ to harden with their talented movements. Zetsu took a deep breath and groaned in silence. His muscles twitched with heated convulsions.

"You're hands aren't just for molding clay… are they?" Zetsu gruffly said.

"I'd like your actual mouth to do a bit of work too, though." He added.

"Alright, hmm." Deidara complied.

He held Zetsu in place and drew out his tongue. He licked the sensitive tip, causing a great warm sensation to run through the plant's every vein. Zetsu sat up abruptly from the tree's trunk. He groaned after Deidara's every lap. The blonde licked at his lips and took a long breath. Once the prerequisites were complete he took Zetsu's member within his heated mouth. He set his hands on each side of Zetsu's legs and hunched over. Dipping his head low, Deidara completely engulfed the hard organ. He lifted his head to suck lightly then shrank down again.

Zetsu's toes curled. He grunted after each drop of Deidara's jaw, each slide of his tongue, each tease of the large vein. His hands lifted to sink onto the blondes' long ponytail, grabbing it strongly.

"Faster… please Deidara-san." He urged.

Deidara obeyed. His actions repeated more often. He skillfully lowered and lifted himself. His movements were nimble, as if practiced. He effortlessly took in Zetsu's long erection. Without a gag or flinch. Zetsu noted this.

"You do this with such ease… I might just think you're a whore." He chortled.

Deidara halted to speak and to wipe the corners of his lips. "That's not nice." He glowered but continued immediately after.

"Yes… You're more like a lover." Zetsu said in a calm voice.

Deidara smiled beyond a full mouth. His hands soon drifted to Zetsu's thighs where he grabbed powerfully. He began biting very tenderly. It made Zetsu's legs tighten more. His hips bucked very indistinctly but enough for Deidara to giggle at him.

"Fuck…" Zetsu hissed loudly.

Deidara became aware of how much Zetsu's muscles were tensing. There was no doubt in his mind what was going to be granted to him. He began pumping faster, producing enough saliva to cover Zetsu fully. His tongue danced around the man's member to tease him significantly.

"Fuck… I-I'm gonna fucking come." Zetsu groaned intensely, his eyes shutting tight.

Hearing this, Deidara became harder, sucking vigorously. His eyes closed tight as his throat opened wide. It was inevitable.

Zetsu came deep within Deidara's mouth. His fingers clawed at Deidara's head, almost causing him to bleed. Deidara promptly swallowed Zetsu's essence; afraid any bit of the precious liquid would fall from his mouth. He soon lifted his head from the plant's size, but not before he gave a final suction to the tip for excess fluid. He sat back and sighed in content.

"So sorry!" Zetsu called out, using his sleeve to wipe away the stray seed from Deidara's soft lips.

Deidara glanced at him and chuckled, taking his hand within his own. "Don't worry. I was thirsty anyway, hmm." He said cheerfully.

Zetsu crookedly smiled as Deidara stood. The feminine blonde brushed his hind from soil and walked over to his cloak, bending down along the way to retrieve his pack. Deidara cleared his throat, sniffling a few times. He steadily placed the cloak onto himself again then looked to Zetsu.

Zetsu finished up placing himself within his pants again and stood. He swabbed away any dirt from his body and took a long, deep sigh. He looked so innocent in Deidara's eyes. His eyes were like a young man's who was shamed… if the young man was a plant with yellow eyes and no pupils. Deidara loved him all the same.

'Love.' Deidara flinched to that. 'I can't love him… He'll scold me again.'

"Th-thank you… I suppose." Zetsu said timidly.

"I should thank you, hmm." Deidara laughed. "I need to get going."

Zetsu nodded. "Leader wishes to see me…" He whispered, his eyes dimming and sinking as if sad.

"Oi, tell him I said hello, hmm." Deidara perkily said, snapping Zetsu from his cheerless trance.

Zetsu nodded then straightened his entire person, trying to look poised.

"Why did you do it?" Zetsu asked innocently.

"Like I'm going to pass off the opportunity to eat a tree." Deidara said lightheartedly with a wink to his eye.

"But why?" Zetsu asked almost in a whimper.

"Why did you let me do it, hmm?" Deidara looked to him with a scowl but in a joking manner.

"Answer my question first, damn it." Zetsu hissed.

Deidara glanced to the ground, kicking it slightly. He took his hair in his hand and flipped it casually.

"I like you Zetsu." He blushed greatly then ran off in a flash.

"Fucking horny prostitute." Zetsu growled.

"But he's so cute."

"Hn… Leader needs you."

"Leader needs us." Zetsu closed his eyes in gloom, steadily morphing into the tree behind him.

To Be Continued

After the Fact Notes: Lol… What a twist! Why is Deidara so skilled in… stuff?