The More I Love…

Chapter Two

Scott and Kurt walked together back home, and when no one was around, there hands found one another. Kurt nearly jumped a mile when he felt the warmth of Scott's palm, and nearly pulled away. But Scott wouldn't let go, despite Kurt's instincts to jump away, and so Kurt wrapped his three short fingers around Scott's hand, looking at the ground with his face flushing. His hands may look normal, because of the watch, but now Scott could feel how abnormal they were, and Kurt didn't like it. But he couldn't just pull away from Scott… He liked touching Scott…. He just didn't like Scott touching him. It just… wasn't fair.

Once they were in view of the mansion, however, Kurt didn't have to worry, because they were forced to separate their hands so they wouldn't be spotted. One final kiss before they entered the mansion was all Kurt had to ask for, and Scott happily obliged. And then, they went inside. Scott had to go to the danger room to train with Jean (To which Kurt tried not to make a face) and so the blue elf decided to go to his room.

He turned on the soundtrack to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and fell onto his bed on his back, tucking his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. He was just trying to hold onto the feeling Scott's lips had on his… But no matter how hard he tried, the thought of doubt were overcoming his happy feelings.

The whole bathing suit business was really getting to him. He had never worn one before, like he had told Scott. Hell, he'd never even worn a pair of shorts in public. He liked being fully covered most on the time. Whether it was a cloak, or a watch along with a few layers of clothing, he had always taken special care that no one could see him or feel him. But now Scott was… Trying to touch him… Or so it would seem. Running his hand down his arm, down the side of his face, holding his hand… All things Kurt hated and enjoyed at the exact same time.

'Möglicherweise sollte ich… Ich bedeute, Badeanzüge bedecke nicht viel… Möglicherweise kann ich Ms Kelly bitten lasse mich noch etwas tun, während sie sind alle Schwimmen… (Maybe I should… I mean, bathing suits don't cover much… Maybe I can beg Ms. Kelly to let me do something else while they're all swimming…)' he thought. 'Ich bedeute, was über den pelz?! Was, wenn ich pelz verschüttete? Ich bedeute, wird er geschehen nie vor, aber… (I mean, what about the fur?! What if I shed fur? I mean, it's never happened before, but…)'

He looked up at his computer and teleported to his chair and turned on the computer. It only took a few minutes to log on, and then another second or two for it to connect to the wireless server that filled the institute, but once he was on, he opened up explorer and went onto google. He clicked images, and looked up guy's bathing suits. . . . He didn't like what he saw.

'Müssen sie sie so klein bilden? (Do they have to make them so small?)' he thought angrily. 'Ich konnte tragen abnutzung eine, wenn… (I could wear one if…)'

He sighed, lowering his head a bit, and turning off his computer bitterly. He couldn't wear one of those! His eyes flickered to the mirror for a few seconds, looking at his human form, and then down at the watch Professor X had given him. He sighed, and lowered his head.

"If it veren't for zis damn vatch, Scott vouldn't vant me at all…" He said, once again running his hand on the opposite arm, were Scott hand touched him. "If I looked like my normal self… He vould just see a monster."

Scott barely ever took off the watch anymore. Before, he would turn it off whenever he was around the other mutants. Now, he hardly EVER turned it off. Kitty was afraid of him when he was blue, and everyone else… He just didn't like people seeing his mutant form. Especially not Scott. He even wore the watch during their missions now.

He sighed. When HAD he last turned it off? At least a week ago… And that was only while he slept… When he woke up, he turned it back on instantly. That watch was the best thing that ever happened in his life, as far as he was concerned. It was the only reason Scott even looked his way; it let him blend in… No one stared, or tried to kill him.

He stood up, turning off his computer, and walked over to the mirror. When he was in human form, he decided he didn't look that bad. Maybe a little awkward, but no worse then some of the kids who are actually human that I had seen in their school. Maybe a bit chubby, but with how much he ate on a normal basis that wasn't much of a surprise.

His hand twitched towards his watch. A little afraid of what he might see, he closed his eyes while the watch turned off. Kurt was always sensitive about his looks, despite how well he hid it. He would hide behind jokes every day, so much so that it was a rare occasion when he told anyone how he was really feeling. Even with Scott he would joke the pain away.

When he finally did open his eyes he knew exactly what he saw. A freak.

'Wie kann ich "dieser"?' (How can I fix 'this'?) he asked himself, looking in the mirror. 'Ich bin blau und weich. Ich kann nicht lösen ... Aber habe ich immer …'(I'm blue and fuzzy. I can't solve that... But have I always been…)

He pulled off his shirt, looking at himself as if he didn't recognize it. Part of him didn't. He'd been in his human form so long that he barely ever saw himself in his natural state.

'Wenn Sie können diesen "natürlichen"' (If you can call this 'natural') Kurt thought to himself. He was looking close at the full-body mirror, wondering.

'Ich habe gewonnen Gewicht ... Ich muss.' (I've gained weight… I must have.) he told himself, pinching his stomach. He got two fingers full of fur and skin, but he saw something else, fat.

"Vat if Scott…" Kurt thought out loud, looking at the ground. He laughed at himself. "I'm acting like an idiot. I'm fine. I exercise every day!"

Satisfied, he turned his watch back on, looking at his, now human, reflection. He smiled a bit, and studied himself for a few extra seconds.

"Maybe I'll lay off the taco's for a bit…" he said, smiling sadly and throwing back on his shirt. "It can't hurt to lose a little weight."

He looked away from the mirror and turned off his computer before getting ready to do his homework. Tomorrow was Friday, and he had already guarantied with Scott's help that he wasn't participating in gym, so that left History (European), English, and Biology. He had gym every day, but the rest of the classes switched every other day. The other day he had Computer Applications, Geometry, and German. He didn't really like his English class, mostly because it wasn't even his first language in the first place. His teacher was constantly calling on him and making him read out loud.

He took out the book he was meant to be reading and teleported to his bed, landing on his back and turning to the page he was on. He spent the next half hour getting through the chapter, and was about ten pages from the end of it when there was a knock on the door.

"It's open!" he called, and Scott let himself into Kurt's bedroom. Kurt put his book down and smiled. "Scott! I thought you vere training."

"We wrapped it up pretty quick." Scott said, walking over to the bed. "What are you up too?"

"Nothing much." Kurt said honestly "Homevork."

Scott nodded and leaned back on his bed and Kurt just smirked.

"I talked to the Professor. He says he can fix a swimsuit for you for gym." he said.

"Oh… Great." Kurt said, not very thrilled. Scott picked up on it.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Fine." Kurt said, looking down at the ground. "I just don't like the swimming idea."

Scott thought he knew what the problem was. He sat up and moved closer to Kurt, touching his arm. Kurt flinched, but didn't pull away. He silently wished he had worn a long sleeve shirt, but it was too hot for something like that.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you over the weekend. It's really not that hard." he said. "You'll pick it up in no time."

Kurt nodded, and smiled. Scott had no idea what was actually wrong, and that was fine with him. He was still being unbelievably sweet. He rewarded him with a small kiss on the lips.

"Don't let me drown." he said. He had to admit, he was a bit scared of drowning.

"Never." Scott promised, working for another kiss. Kurt slyly stood up. He wasn't being mean, he was just using his kisses sparingly.

Kurt walked over to the window, looking out. He was still worried.

"Is… Do you think my vatch is vaterproff?" he asked, not looking at Scott.

"Of course." Scott said, smiling. "Professor X would make sure of that."

He stood up to join Kurt by the window, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's hips. Kurt jumped a bit and turned. He felt nervous with Scott's arms around him. The minute he was turned all the way around Scott kissed him on the lips.

'Küssen mir ... Muss wie ein Hund zu küssen.' (Kissing me… must be like kissing a dog.) Kurt thought. He hated the idea, but once it was in his head it wouldn't leave. He wondered if Scott ever thought that.

"Scott…" Kurt mumbled, and he saw his boyfriends eyebrow quirk. "I vas vondering…"

He trailed off, he wanted to ask Scott about his weight, or his fur, or why in the world Scott would chose him over Jean, who was the most beautiful girl in school. But somehow he couldn't get the words out of his mouth.

"What is it Kurt?" Scott asked.

"Never mind." Kurt replied, smiling up at Scott. "I'm just tired."

"If you want to lay down, I could leave." Scott offered, trying to be helpful.

"No." Kurt replied almost instantly. "I vant you to stay.""Alright." Scott walked over to the bed and leaned back. He grabbed the remote. "Wanna watch something?"

Kurt smiled and walked over sitting next to Scott and nodding. He wasn't sure what he wanted to watch, but he was fine with anything really. He and Scott pushed back to the pillows on his bed and leaned back.

Kurt was asleep before he even found out what they ended up watching.

When Kurt was up he found himself close up against something warm, but he didn't care enough to open his eyes to find out what it was. He was spread eagle on his bed, except one side of his body was on top of something warm. Finally when he was gaining back a bit of consciousness he realized it must be Scott. He opened his eyes just a little and smiled up at him.

"Hey." Scott said, noticing his bedmate was awake.

"How long have I been out?" Kurt asked.

"About an hour."

Kurt turned his head and looked out the window to confirm the time, but he never got around to that because something caught his eye. Something blue. He flexed.

"You turned my vatch off?" he asked nervously.

"I thought it might run out of batteries if you left it on." Scott said, not noticing that Kurt was nervous.

Kurt decided not to make a scene, even though he was extremely worried. He was happy that Scott was looking at him when he woke up, but his watch was off… Maybe Scott was looking at him for all the wrong reasons. Most boyfriends would watch their loved one sleep and think about how much they loved them or how cute they looked, but if Kurt was in his normal state… Scott could have been thinking any sort of thing. Kurt sat up and flicked his watch on casually.

"You don't have to vorry about zat." he said, looking at his hands. Five fingers, just like any normal person would have. "I change the batteries every week. They're fine."

Scott looked over, but he wasn't smiling now.

"Do you leave it on when you sleep?" he asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Sometimes." he said honestly.

"Why?" Scott asked. "I mean you don't have to have it on in the mansion at all."

"I just vant it on." Kurt said, standing up. He didn't want to go into this. "It's no big deal."

"It kinda is, Kurt." Scott said, standing up as well. "You need to give it a break once in awhile."

"Fine." Kurt said, getting frustrated. "I'll turn it off ven I go to sleep from now on. Can ve just drop it?"

Scott must have sensed Kurt's hostility. Either that or he was just satisfied with that answer, because he did let the subject drop. Kurt found himself angry. He knew he shouldn't. Scott had a good reason for turning off his watch, he just really didn't want Scott to see him like that.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Kurt said, looking up at the sky. In the hour that he'd been asleep they sky had grown darker.

Scott nodded, but seemed completely oblivious that anything was bothering his friend.

"Okay." he said. "So see you at dinner?"

Scott nodded. They all had to eat dinner together. Not always, just every Thursday and Tuesday. They used to do it on Friday's, but that became to hectic when the young mutants started entering the dating world. Kurt grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom. The student-to-bathroom ratio was about 3-1, so Kurt and most of the other male mutants found it easier to take showers at night, and the girls would take them in the mornings. That made things a heck of a lot simpler.

Once he was in the bathroom the first thing he did was lock the door. Even that didn't leave all too much privacy, since Kitty could walk right through it, but he trusted that she wouldn't. She usually used doors when it came to bathrooms ever since she walked in on Rouge showering.

Kurt turned on the shower before taking off his clothes, since he liked it really hot, and then grabbed a towel and hung it on the shower door. Finally, when the room was already half-filled with steam, he started removing his clothes. He didn't look at the mirror the whole time, and then when he was completely nude, he took off his watch. He was going to jump right into the shower, but he eyes caught the mirror and he frowned.

He new he was furry, and blue. But with his clothes off, he could see himself as a whole. His strange 'legs', three fingers on each hand.

"Disgusting…" he mumbled, looking away from the mirror and stepping into the shower.

He washed himself off, and when he came out he grabbed a towel and dried off. He once thanks gods that he had short hair on his body, because if it were any longer he would smell like a wet dog after showers. Sometimes the little things have to get you through.

He sighed and avoided looking at the mirror when he was done, even though it was steamed up well enough that he wouldn't have seen himself anyway. There was a knock on the door and Kurt instinctively teleported to the shower stall.

"Ja?" He asked.

"Hey Kurt!" It was Scott. "Professor wanted me to tell you dinner's in fifteen."

"Thanks!" Kurt called back, closing his eyes. He was tired. "I'll see you there!"

Scott's footsteps faded and Kurt stepped out of the shower a second time. This time, however, he did catch his reflection. He grabbed his watch and turned it on before even putting on his clothes.


I'm SOOOOO sorry this chapter took so long. It's unforgivable. I kind of… You know… Forgot about this entire site for a year… -.- I'll make it up to you guys I swear!