"Sorry for the long wait!" The woman apologized and passed two cups of coffee towards Todomatsu.
Todomatsu smiled, taking the cups. "Ah it's okay! Thank you though." He was about to turn around and leave but the coffee shop lady stopped him.
"Who's the other cup for?" she asked. She was being nosy that Todomatsu wasn't fond of. "Is it for that lady waiting at that table over there?"
She pointed to a specific direction behind him and Todomatsu's gaze followed. A girl was sitting at a round table typing away on her laptop. Todomatsu frowned for a second before turning back and smiled again. "Actually no, it is for my brother."
The worker gasped. "Oh where is here? Is he here?"
Without giving it a second thought, Todomatsu turned back around and pointed at the other table where Karamatsu was patiently sitting at, who stared at him with a raised brow in return. "Over there."
"Sir…I don't see anyone sitting over there."
Oh, right.
Todomatsu whipped around and stared at her with wide, panicked eyes before regaining his composure. "Whoops it seems he hasn't arrived yet. He must be on his way, we were planning to meet here," he lied.
The lady gave him a nod, though Todomatsu caught the unsure stare, before helping the customer next in line. He was fine with that of course. His plans for not acting crazy already failed.
He rushed to the table and hastily sat down startling Karamatsu. After passing the coffee to him without a word he buried his face in his hands and groaned.
"T-Todomatsu is there something wrong?" he heard Karamatsu ask.
Shaking his head while refusing to look up he mumbled, "No, it's nothing."
It had been a little under a week since the reappearance of Karamatsu. Todomatsu and the others had settled down with the fact but they still hadn't gotten used to being the only ones who could see him. He supposed that he should be content that they were still able see him. However, it still bothered him that no one else could. Why was it like that? It was a strange mystery that he thought would never be answered, but he was fine with that.
It was also strange that Karamatsu was still able to touch objects but not them or anyone else. He had tried hugging his parents, who unfortunately couldn't see him, but he just went right past through them and it was the same with Totoko and everyone else. Out of all the times in the past where he cringed at the idea of embracing or even just touching his brother he wished more than ever to be able to do it now. But it was too late, and he wasn't fine with that.
"…matsu, Todomatsu!"
Finally lifting his head from his hands, Todomatsu turned to stare at him alarmed. "Huh?"
Karamatsu had an unsure look on his face as he scratched his cheek. "I apologize that I couldn't tell you this earlier, mainly because I didn't have any room to speak, but it was still my fault nonetheless. But...I can't eat anything. I have already tried some days ago."
Expression blank, Todomatsu looked at the coffee in his brother's hands. Oh, of course he couldn't eat, he's dead. Either Todomatsu was dumb and completely forgot or he subconsciously didn't want to acknowledge it. "I'm sorry," he sighed.
"No it is fine, brother, I should be the one who's sorry but I'm glad we have cleared it now. Also, you haven't touched your coffee in a while," he pointed out.
Todomatsu's gaze fell on the cup. The steam was no longer present above the liquid. "I'm just waiting for it to cool down," he brushed off.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No!" he defended himself, his voice rising a bit, "I was just thinking of things, that's all."
Karamatsu stared at him strangely quiet and skeptical before placing his cup down. "Is it because of me?" he asked next.
Todomatsu wanted to be genuinely honest, but because he had just as much difficulty expressing his emotions as the others, he scoffed instead. "It always has to be about you doesn't it?" He wanted to punch himself. His brother was trying to reason with him after he was the one who suggested hanging out and in response, he was being bitter about it.
Examining his face, Todomatsu noticed the way Karamatsu had barely made any facial expressions this whole time. It was extremely unlike him to do so and Todomatsu nervously waited for what he would say next.
Karamatsu's gaze finally left him and down onto his own cup. "No, it doesn't, but this time it is." Todomatsu didn't respond and he took that moment to look at him and continued. "Brother," his voice light yet firm, "I understand that it's hard to truly accept the way I am right now but it can't be helped."
"I know that!" Todomatsu yelled. His eyes widened at his own sudden reaction. This was bad, he shouldn't be treating Karamatsu like this. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back in his chair and relaxed. "I know, I know that…I just wished we knew how," he mumbled.
Karamatsu was silent again and Todomatsu noticed the way his lips pursed into a thin line. "I wish I knew too," he whispered and Todomatsu could hear the strain in his voice, "But hopefully we'll find the answer later on."
He really hoped for that to be true. But just how were they supposed to find out how Karamatsu died? Ever since Karamatsu had told them he had forgotten it was something that they had been deeply pondering about and still were. It was still a blessing that he even came back, though not quite entirely, but he still existed and that's what counted. But without knowing the truth they would never be able to accept it.
But…how long would it last?
Eyeing his cup Todomatsu grabbed it and chugged the cold coffee down, the feeling made him want to gag but he managed to drink all of it in one go. Finishing the cup, he slammed it back down and abruptly stood up. The squeaking of the chair's legs rubbing against the tiled floor received strange and annoyed looks from strangers and a questionable one from Karamatsu. "We should go fishing," he said plainly and without any patience he walked out of the café.
A few seconds later Karamatsu came running after him. "Wait! Why the sudden decision brother?" he desperately asked as he caught up.
Todomatsu shrugged, briskly walking and not bothering to slow down to let him catch his breath. "It's such a beautiful day and I'd rather waste my time spending it with you in an area we both like."
"O-Okay…" Karamatsu trailed off. He stared at him with major concern but didn't press on, and Todomatsu was glad for that.
In truth, he could never tell Karamatsu the real reason why he wanted to do something else with him. He wouldn't admit that he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. It was because the thought of Karamatsu possibly disappearing again and being gone forever terrified him. His experience of watching ghost movies always had the ghost disappearing and moving on and he feared that it would be the same with him. He bit his lip hard. He couldn't imagine a world without him ever again. Just thinking about how Karamatsu might not stay much longer had tears welling in his eyes but he blinked them away before his brother would even notice.
He had to stay strong. He had already cried enough.
They had to walk back home first to retrieve their fishing poles. Todomatsu had to wait outside for a bit while Karamatsu said he had to do something inside. He was glad everyone else was gone though, otherwise they probably would've never been able to leave.
Upon reaching the fishing area Todomatsu was glad for the lack of people around. For once in his life he actually wanted to be alone and in peace with Karamatsu. He thought that he should be happy for wanting to spend time with someone he'd always refused to even hang out with most of the time before, but the sudden realization that he wanted to do it after Karamatsu had died was as if his heart dropped all the way down to the ground. Was that what it had to take to want to be with him? His death? Oh god, the memories of the funeral were all coming back and he felt the tears coming out again.
"Hey Todomatsu, I found a spot we could sit at," Karamatsu said gaining his attention. He wasn't looking at him, instead he faced the direction of the empty cart seats and pointing at them.
Todomatsu rubbed his eyes before Karamatsu could look at him. "That looks like a good spot," he agreed. Karamatsu turned back and gave him a flashing grin before walking to their spot. Shaking his head, Todomatsu forced the bitter thoughts out of his mind before it consumed him any further. He may had missed the many chances back then but he had another chance now and he wasn't going to waste it.
Sitting down, Todomatsu began attaching his bait to the fishing hook. He managed to set it up quickly and when he glanced to see Karamatsu's progress he choked on his own words. "W-What? Why!?"
Karamatsu was setting up the fishing hook to a letter. A love letter to be exact and Todomatsu wanted to face palm himself. He should've expected his brother would do something so ridiculous. He did it many times before so seeing it again should've been no surprise to him.
Karamatsu didn't seem to mind the reaction because he just turned to him and smirked. "A man cannot catch anything without love," he said, "If you put your heart and soul into something you'll get what you want."
"What?" Honestly Todomatsu wanted to push him into the water but he couldn't, because even with all that happened Karamatsu he still acted the same way he always was and he found himself smiling because of it. But remembering how long he waited earlier at the house made him continue. "Wait, so the reason you left me waiting for 30 minutes was because you were writing a love letter?"
Waving a finger Karamatsu shook his head. "Writing a letter takes hard work and dedication. Rushing it would only ruin the meaning my brother."
"But I waited 30 minutes!" Todomatsu repeated. He felt the need to rip his hair out but he took a huge breath and mellowed down. "Anyways, let's just cast the poles and try to catch some fish."
Karamatsu smiled, "Of course, my brother."
Minutes passed and Todomatsu had managed to attract some fish with his bait but they either took it and booked it or realized that it was a trap and swam away before he could've even done anything. Time ticked away and it had been more than an hour and he still hadn't caught anything. Least to say he was growing more and more irritated. Looking next to him he noticed Karamatsu relaxed with his legs crossed. He was staring down at the water with a blank face and Todomatsu was going to ask him what he was thinking but remembering that no fish had even touched his letter made him burst out laughing and reeled in Karamatsu's attention.
"What?" he asked puzzled.
Regaining himself Todomatsu calmed down before explaining. "You're honestly not going to catch any fish like that. I mean yeah I haven't caught any either but at least there's fishing touching mine."
Karamatsu waved a finger in front of his face again and Todomatsu felt the urge to rip it off. "Patience is a virtue my brother."
Sighing, the younger turned back to the water in front of him. It was motionless, no ripples were present and Todomatsu really wondered if there was anything down there. "We're not going to catch any fish," he finally gave up. "No matter how long you wait nothing is going to happen. If nothing happened before it will happen again." He thought that coming out here would be a good idea but he began to rethink if it really was. Maybe we shouldn't have come here… Karamatsu-niisan probably didn't even want to be here in the first place-
"Non non non Todomatsu," Karamatsu interrupted his thoughts, "Having a pessimistic view will only result in no fish biting." Observing him, Todomatsu noticed the way his eyes shined as he stared at the water, as if he was expecting a big catch to happen at any moment. "Have a bit more hope and maybe you'll catch a fish."
Todomatsu stared at him in slight awe for a second before snorting. "You'll never catch one using a love letter."
Karamatsu gave a hearty laugh. "Everyone needs love my brother."
Internally cringing, Todomatsu didn't comment. He decided to let his brother have his way without question. He focused back to his fishing but every few moments he casted side glances at Karamatsu.
Hope huh...
Even if his brother's disappearance in the future might seem inevitable, or that the answer to his death might never reveal itself, he thought that maybe he should try too. To have hope that Karamatsu could stay with them until their time ends and to solve the mystery of how he died. He was more of a realistic person, but maybe he could try something new for a change.
A tug on his pole had him focusing back to the water. There was definitely a fish that had bitten his bait and he was determined this time. Reeling it in he struggled at first but then it suddenly felt easy and when he pulled it all the way up what remained left was a hook- the bait and fish gone.
"Ah, you were so close," Karamatsu said slightly disappointed. "But you know if you really don't think we're going to catch anything we can head back home, I'm perfectly fine with whatever you want."
Todomatsu wanted to say yes. The sun was beginning to set and the humidity was starting to get to him making him feel gross. He had the opportunity to pack up and head back home but instead he shook his head and grabbed another bait from the box before casting it into the water again. "Thanks for the offer, but I feel pretty lucky today."
Dumbfounded, Karamatsu stared at him mouth agape before flashing another grin. "Heh, well if you feel that way then there's no doubt you'll catch one."
Todomatsu hummed in agreement. He really did have some hope for actually catching one, but most of it went towards something else. Or more like someone else. Smiling, Todomatsu closed his eyes and relished the feeling. The feeling that Karamatsu was still there and with him, not exactly how he wanted it, but it was close enough. It might be another few hours for a fish to even touch his bait but he was fine with that. Sitting next to his brother was more important than anything else, and if moments like this could last longer, then he didn't mind clinging on to that hope.
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