DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AVATAR. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.

The final battle was over. The defeated RDA forces were fleeing before the forces of Ewya. The Tree of Souls was safe. The Na'vi had won.

But despite the defeat of his forces, Quaritch was still defiant. He stood in his amp-suit before Jake who stood proudly in his avatar body. Both men prepared to fight to the death. Just out of ear-shot, Neytiri was trying desperately to free herself from beneath the fallen thanator which Quaritch had killed only moments before.

"It's over, Quaritch." Said Jake, standing determined in his Na'vi body.

Quaritch sneered at Jake in fury. "Nothing's over while I'm still breathing."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Growled Jake, taking up a combat stance.

Jake stepped forward to attack. But to his surprise, Quaritch held up an Amp-suit hand signalling him to halt. Jake stopped advancing, wondering what Quaritch was up to.

"Wait, Jake. I've just realised what the time is." Said Quaritch, almost apologetically. "It's getting late and I really want to get back for dinner."

"What?" Jake halted abruptly and looked at Quaritch incredulously.

"I'm really sorry, Jake. Can we leave this until another time?" Quaritch was almost pleading. "Can we do this tomorrow?"

"Oh, you want to run back to mommy because you lost all your toy soldiers." Jaked mocked him. "I'm beginning to doubt your resolve, Quaritch."

"Shut your pie hole." Quaritch's face was red with annoyance. "It's not that. It's because I have a hot date with that tanned latin chick and I don't want to miss it."

For a moment Jake hesitated. He continued to remain in his combat posture. But he was uncertain whether he should still attack or not.

"Ah, come on, Jake." Quaritch looked at imploringly. "You know how much I've been wanting to get with that girl. I have a hot date with her tonight. Now's my big chance. I really need to get back so I have time to freshen up after the battle. You know. Have a shower and a shave and put on my dress uniform."

Jake stood silently, still in his combat pose. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew how much Quaritch had been desperate to get a date with that girl.

"Ah please, Jake." Quaritch spread his mech-suit hands in front of him, pleading with him. "You know how much it means to me."

Jake relaxed, mulling over what he should do. He looked over at Neytiri. She was still struggling to escape from under the thanator. She clearly was not concentrating on him and Quaritch. Jake looked back to Quaritch who waited in front of him with pleading eyes. Jake wanted to hate Quaritch, but he just couldn't. Jakes face broke into a wide grin.

"Oh, good on you, man. You did it at last." Jake stood up straight, coming out of his combat posture. "She finally fell to the charms of the Quaritch-meister. You finally got yourself some local tail. You old dog."

Jake stepped forward and high-fived one Quaritch's amp-suit hands.

Quaritch sighed with relief. "Yeah, I just want to get back early in case she thinks the date is cancelled after losing the battle."

"Hey, man. Sorry about that." Now it was Jake's turn to sound apologetic. "I presume you wanted to impress her with a great victory and all that. I hope the defeat doesn't put a downer on the occasion."

"Don't worry, Jake. I'll make up a story about fighting my way through dozens of Na'vi warriors." Quaritch smiled and winked at Jake with complicity. "I'll even tell her I whipped your ass."

Jake laughed. But then he looked at Quaritch with a serious expression his face.

"Yeah. I hope your significant losses don't discourage her." Said Jake, genuinely concerned.

"Don't worry, Jake." Quaritch grinned. "I'll know how to console her."

Quaritch started to make some vulgar thrusting movements with the hips of his amp suit.

"Boob, boom, boom!" Quaritch grinned gleefully, as he simulated slapping an imaginary ass with his amp-suit hand. "Pow, pow pow! Yeah, baby, yeah!"

Jake laughed heartily. "Outstanding! Good on you, Miles."

Quaritch continued vulgarly thrusting his hips and slapping the air with his Amp-suit hand. Jake laughed again for a moment. But then he became more serious.

"By the way, Quaritch. I have to warn you." Again, Jake's voice took on serious tone. "I was planning to assault Hell's Gate tomorrow at first light. Do you want me to delay the attack until 10am or 11am to give you a bit more time?."

"Better leave it to 5pm." Quaritch thrust his hips forward again, laughing heartily. "If you know what I mean. Yeah, baby, yeah. Git some!"

"Haha. I hope you can last that long, Miles." Jake said, grinning.

"You know me, Jake." Replied Quaritch with a wink. "You know it's never over while I'm still breathing."

"Hahahaha." Jake couldn't help himself laughing out loud. Realising he might alert Neytiri, Jake put his hand to his mouth and stopped himself. He looked over nervously to Neytiri. Fortunately, She was still concentrated in freeing herself from beneath the thanator.

Seeing where Jake was looking, Quaritch stopped thrusting. It was his turn to have a concerned expression on his face.

"I hope having to delay the attack doesn't inconvenience you, Jake." Said Quaritch frowning. "I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

"Don't worry, Miles." Jake smiled and dismissed Quaritch's concern with a casual wave of his hand. "We'll have to regroup after our losses today anyway. And besides, after our victory, I think Neytiri will want a big piece of the Toruk Makto."

This time it was Jakes turn to start thrusting his pelvis and simulate slapping Neytiri's ass with his hand.

"Hell yeah, baby!" Cried Jake.

Quaritch joined in the thrusting. Jake and Quaritch stood in front of each other, laughing and gleefully thrusting their hips at each other.

"Yeah, git some." Shouted Quaritch. "That will be some mean bush. I can see you're definately going to get lost in the woods tonight."