(CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))))))
A/N Drama, comedy, author insertion……random dead guys who pop in when ever they feel like it, this story has it all! I own nothing but the notebooks it is written on. Seriously, I DO NOT own Spike, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Grey's Anatomy, House, The Lion King, Degrassi, Boy Meets World, Twilight, Tales of the Blode, American Idol, Care Bears, R.O.U.S.', Charlie the Unicorn, The Wizard of Oz, Xena the Warrior Princess, Star Wars, Chief Boola Boola the Island Dweller from a question on some Physics homework I did a year ago, any of the historical figures and former presidents of the USA, Lord of the Rings, American Pie, or anything else you may recognize. Please read and review!!!!!
Sam pushed a button on the wall next to the back entrance, and with the sound similar to that of a rubber band snapping, the lair shrunk. Sam placed it in her pocket, and joined the others as they shoved against the heavy metal door of the back entrance, which was a second man-hole about a mile from the first. This one was far heavier because some incredibly bright person had sealed it with cement.
Finally though; they managed to pry it open, luckily they still had several hours 'til morning.
"So," Spike said brightly, glancing at his friends, "does anyone have a car?"
"Nope," sighed Sam, stuffing her hands into her pockets and hopping up and down on the balls of her feet, "I think there's a bus stop around here somewhere."
~~
~~
An hour later they got off the bus and holed up in an abandoned barn somewhere in the countryside to spend the day.
"I wish there was somewhere we could go where we wouldn't need to fear the sun," Cindy yawned as she stretched out on a bale of hay.
"We could go to Seattle," suggested Sam, "doesn't it usually rain there?"
"Yep," both males answered in unison.
"Then we'll start our journey tonight," decided Sam as she climbed up into the loft.
And there they slept………………………………..
~~
That night……….
As the sun went down, the four vampires began to move around the barn. Cindy was the first to rise, she glanced around at the others. Sam was in a heavy daze, both Angel and the cat on his head were sawing heavy logs (snoring loudly) and Spike was making strange noises.
~~~*Snore* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!~~~
Sam poked her head up in the loft, she looked confused. Cindy nodded towards Spike who *Snore* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!ed again, and tried really hard not to laugh. Sam rolled her eyes.
~~~*Snore* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!~~~
From inside one of the horse stalls there came a loud thud, followed by an even louder Meow.
Angel was now awake, as well as the cat on his head. He walked cautiously out into the interior of the barn where the others had slept.
~~*Snore* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!~~~
The kitten hissed and sank her claws even harder into his scalp.
"Stop that," Angel muttered to his head guest.
~~*Snore* Wheeeeeee!!!!~~
Cindy couldn't contain her laughter any longer. As she laughed hysterically, Sam started to climb down out of the loft.
As she noticed Angel beneath her, orange cat mixing with black hair like a bad toupee, she missed a step and fell the rest of the way to the ground, landing on Spike who was right in the middle of yet another, *Snore* Wheeee!!!!!!
"Ow!" three voices said in muttered as one. Cindy laughed even harder, unable to stop even as her friends glared menacingly at her.
Eventually the laughter ceased.
"Have you ever dreamed about Sauron's great eye?" Sam asked randomly.
"I have actually," replied Angel, extending his hand to help her up.
"Me too!" exclaimed Cindy, "Do you think it's a sign?"
"Ooh," exclaimed Spike, "maybe we're supposed to take the bloody ring of power to Mordor."
Sam rolled her eyes, "It's already been destroyed."
"Oh," Spike realized, he turned to Cindy, "Hey!"
"Hey! What?"
"Have you been tampering with our thoughts again?"
She tossed her white-blond hair over her shoulder, a look of complete innocence on her face, "It was not I."
Angel looked at her suspiciously.
"Anyway, we're burning night hours, where to from here?"
"Is Seattle okay with everyone?" Sam asked.
"Whoo Rain! Yay daylight!" exclaimed Cindy.
"I'm guessing that's a yes," Sam noted. Angel and Spike nodded, even though they both looked rather wary.
"Don't worry," Cindy reassured them, "there's hardly ever any direct sunlight, it's always mostly cloudy! And rainy!"
"Joy," Spike feigned enthusiasm.
"Then it's off to the bus stop."
"Lovely," It was Angel's turn at sarcasm.
Sam and Cindy led the way out of the barn, and ran silently to the nearest bus stop about fifteen miles from their day-resting spot. Angel and Spike followed less enthusiastically.
Not long after they arrived at the bus stop on the outskirts of a small town in Iowa, a bus stopped. They got on it.
Figuring that it would take a while, they stared absentmindedly out various windows. Cindy began to drool abit.
"The sun will come up soon," Sam commented monotonously after several hours of bus travel, "we should get off at the next stop."
And so they did, they had arrived in Ooh Camel Camel Camel Alabama….only they didn't know it yet.
"Where are we?" Spike wondered. "Surely we can't be in Washington already."
"Definitelynot Washington," agreed Cindy, glancing around for something to give them a clue as to where they were.
"There must be a sign somewhere," Sam said, also looking around.
"Oh good grief," groaned Angel standing thirty feet ahead to the group. He pointed towards a large billboard in the distance.
"Ooh Camel Camel Camel, Alabama," Sam groaned, "nowhere near Washington…..will you listen to that guy?" She pointed to a tall man on a platform, he appeared to be preaching to the crowd gathered around him.
"…….and it is the fault of the midgets that our hotdogs are lumpy! We must destroy the midgets! They ruin our economy and are obnoxiously short! They pee in our water, and THEY MAKE OUR HOTDOGS LUMPY!"
"Moron," Sam muttered.
"Okay, can you say WACKO?" Cindy agreed.
"Down with midgets!" chanted the crowd.
"Them northerners allow midgets to live in their lands, they are wrong! The south will rise, and the midgets will fall!" the man on the platform continued.
"There's one!" someone shouted.
"Crap," groaned Sam.
"Hey, I'm not short!" cried Spike, clearly thinking they were looking at him.
"Well you're over five feet tall," agreed some guy, he pointed to Sam, "she's not."
"I'm five foot and three fourths!" Sam argued. The guy pulled out a tape measure, she barely cleared the five foot mark, but she did it.
"Close enough," announced the guy on the platform, "kill the midget."
The guy with the tape measure pulled out a knife.
"Dufus," laughed Sam, just as the rest of the crowd charged, leaving the four vampires no choice but to defend themselves.
~~~*BLOODY, GORY VIOLENCE* yay violence!!!!!!!!~~~
Somehow they were able to escape the crowd and find an abandoned shack before the sun came up.
"You know what I want to do?" demanded Spike, "I want to play Monopoly!"
"Fine," replied Angel, "I call racecar."
"I wanna be the racecar," shouted Spike.
"Too bad," answered Angel, "I called it."
"You can be the boat," Cindy suggested, attempting to squash the same argument that always took place when they played Monopoly, "but I get the horsey."
"Hey, as long as I get to be the bomb, I don't care one way or another." commented Sam.
"There's no bomb in monopoly," argued Spike, smirking as her silliness.
"There is in this set," replied Sam, holding up a warped piece of metal, "they made the money bag incorrectly."
"I want to be the bomb," announced Angel, handing the racecar to Spike who held it in the air victoriously.
"Tough," argued Sam, "I'm the bomb."
"Fight ya for it," suggested Angel.
"Bring it," laughed Sam, who had him pinned in seconds.
"She's the bomb," agreed Cindy.
"Darn right I am," Sam replied smugly.
"Fine, I'll be the freakin' racecar." grumbled Angel.
"Nuh uh!" retorted Spike, "you gave it to me."
Cindy played absentmindedly with the horse. Sam looked into the box. Because of constant play, most of the pieces were missing.
"Here ya go," Sam tossed Angel a piece.
"The thimble?" he asked in disgust, "I have to be the THIMBLE?"
Sam smiled sweetly, and he gave in, despite the injury to his manly pride.
"He cheats," Spike stage whispered to Cindy who giggled knowing that this would get very competitive….if not violent.
"Meow?" suggested Rastis, from his perch atop Angel's head.
"That is a very good idea Rastis," agreed Cindy, scratching the kitten's ears. The cat finally allowed herself to be removed from the head. (nobody bothered to inform Angel that where his hair normally grew straight up, the cat had flattened it and he now looked rather odd).
With all players now on the 'start' square, the dice were handed to Angel who was the oldest, beating Sam by two days. Spike rolled after her followed by Cindy.
~~
~~
Four hours later, Sam owned half the board, Spike was stuck in jail, Cindy was silently collecting money on her two monopolies, and Angel owned everything else.
"You know," commented Cindy, "if you two were the evil, world dominating type, we'd be in big trouble."
Sam and Angel glanced at each other guiltily, causing Spike to snort.
"Hey BABE, hows about I buy those two railroads from you?" Angel asked Sam in a bad fake cowboy accent.
"Well HONEY," she replied, tossing the word commonly used to show affection at him with every ounce of sarcasm she could muster, "I might consider selling you one, but never both."
"And tell me, DARLING, what good would one railroad do you if I have the other three?" demanded Angel.
"Oh SWEETY, it's not a matter of me having one, its about you not having all four," replied Sam, tossing her dark blond, almost not blond hair off of her face. (a pointless gesture, seeing as how it fell right back as it had been only moments later…)
"Wow," Cindy commented, "only you two could use words commonly used to show affection to argue with each other."
"Oh," laughed Spike, "you should have seen them BEFORE he got a soul. When they argued, people tended to die."
"Oh Spike," laughed Cindy, "I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad,"
"I tried to take over the world," announced Angel.
"Me too," Sam admitted.
"Why?" Cindy asked.
"She ate the last piece of cake," answered Angel, hanging his head in shame.
"I did not," argued Sam.
"Oh don't give me that," argued Angel, "I know you did!"
"Actually I did it," Spike informed Cindy. Luckily for him, Sam and Angel were once again beating the crap out of each other, and were to distracted to hear his confession.
"Are they the kind of couple who attempt to kill each other then make out?" asked Cindy.
"……..face it, I've always been better at world domination…" argued Sam.
"Hot too," agreed Angel, he grabbed her and kissed her. After a minute, just as Cindy was about to demand that they get a room, Sam punched him.
"I'm not done fighting yet!" she shouted.
"Me neither!" shouted Angel.
"Oh good grief," sighed Cindy, she turned to Spike, "wanna make out?"
"Oh heck yes!"
...and so they did.
~~
About half and hour later, Sam and Angel were rolling on the floor in a mad fit of laughter, still trying feebly to beat the crap out of each other. While Cindy and Spike appeared to be wrestling.
"It's a good thing oxygen isn't a necessity," Sam commented through gasps, Angel giggled like a five year old girl.
"Ew you guys," complained Sam when she saw Spike and Cindy, "get a room!"
"I'm wrestling!" argued Spike.
"With her face," Sam said pointedly.
"There's only a few more hours till sunset," commented Cindy, she glanced around the room noticing the Monopoly pieces everywhere, "we should clean up a bit."
"What happened?" demanded Spike, "it looks like a bomb went off in here."
Rastis clawed out from under the couch, and appeared to be choking. Cindy scooped him up in her arms, just as he hacked up the racecar.
"Isn't he cute," gushed Cindy, petting Rastis on the head.
"Um," commented Sam, uncommentally.
"We should try to leave now," suggested Angel, "hopefully the midget murderers are gone."
"I think we scared them," replied Spike.
"I don't know," sighed Cindy, rubbing the cat, "they seem pretty serious about their cause."
"Good thing we're headed north," decided Spike, "because I don't think it will work."
"Yeah," agreed Sam, "I know a thing or two about world domination, that guy doesn't stand a chance."
"And if Hell freezes over and his crazy scheme works?" demanded Cindy, "What then?"
"We'll just have to burn that bridge when we come to it," replied Sam, "but for now, lets focus on getting to Seattle alive."
"Now that sounds like a plan," decided Spike, "lets go now before morning comes and burns my ass."
~~
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Thanks everyone who read that first chapter, I really appreciate it. This chapter offers some insight into our characters plans for the near future, but expect some surprises in chapter three. The vampires go to Seattle, but unexpected circumstances and some unique characters lead them to Forks. That's all I'm saying, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out more. In the meantime, drop me a review and let me know what you think so far....
......please??
