Why me was one of the great imponderables. There had to be other vice captains that he could have taken instead. Probably better ones that were easier for him to get along with. Renji, or Rangiku. We could have loaned him Ikkaku or Yumi. They're both very good at the world of the living blending in thing. Me, I was barely familiar with anything other than human candy and that pink hair really isn't normal. Maybe Snowball had forgotten that, and I didn't call him Snowball. Captain Hitsugaya.

I was very good at sneaky undertakings. Anyone who could successfully build a secret installation under the Kuchiki residence gets full marks for underhanded sneakings. The whole blending thing would be a challenge and of course, I could get help from any number of people, including Strawberry. It would make Ken-chan happy if I at least popped in to say hi for him.

First stop in the world of the living was the Urahara Shoten. The moment I walked in, I knew this was a place I could fall in love with. There was candy. Of course I had to sample the moment I set eyes on it. I had the first piece unwrapped and nearly to my mouth when a huge hand closed around my wrist and stopped its progress. I'd perfected the proper counter for that attack years before. I moved my head to nip the candy out of my fingers and then turned to face my opponent.

He was huge, and I mean Ken-chan huge. He was almost the same height and probably had about ten pounds on my captain. That is a feat, let me tell you. I blinked at him, tucking the candy in my cheek for safe keeping. "Hi."

Captain Hitsugaya quickly intervened. I whimsically wondered who the worry in his expression was for. "Tessai, we're going to need your boss." He paused and looked at me with that expression I was starting to get very used to. It was slightly pained and cautious. "And start a tab for Vice Captain Kusajishi."

Tessai finally let go of my wrist and looked at me appraisingly for a moment. "This is Kenpachi's little Vice Captain?" It really was so lovely to get talked over all the time.

Hitsugaya nodded.

The big man grunted and went off to find his boss. "First piece is on me then."

I sucked on my candy thoughtfully and looked around, looking for my next prey. Chocolate was messy, and I'd probably get it all over. Gum gets in your hair, ask Ken-chan. Suckers would take too long. Ooh, were those mints?

Hitsugaya cleared his throat. "About why we're here," he began. Drat, candy had to wait. I really wanted to hear this part.

"Well, well! Isn't this a pleasant surprise!" Urahara strode in, complete with hat and cane just like everyone had ever described him. "I suppose the two of you are here to do more than just sample my wares."

Hitsugaya looked more thoroughly annoyed than he had before. I was starting to think that judging his moods worked strictly on a scale of how thoroughly pissed off he was at the moment. Amusing. I wanted to know if he could do the bulging vein in his temple thing like Ikkaku could.

I smiled oh so sweetly at Urahara. "I'll take one of everything."

The old lech wriggled his eyebrows at me. "I do hope that includes me."

I giggled because it was cute and I knew he was only playing. Rangiku had told me on good authority that he was madly in love with Strawberry and wouldn't even seriously look at anyone else. I wondered if Hitsugaya knew about that. He moved closer, his sleeve brushing against mine and I literally felt the air around him drop a few more degrees. "Vice Captain Kusajishi will need a gigai. I will just go collect mine."

Urahara watched the captain stalk into the storeroom thoughtfully. "He's wound a little more tightly than normal." Then he turned to beam at me brightly. "But aren't you turning into quite the little stunner. Here for long? And what shall we dress you in?"

I wasn't sure which was stranger, gigias or human clothes. Both were strange and more than a little uncomfortable. Livable, but weird. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to get too comfortable with either. Maybe it was just the short skirt that bothered me. It barely seemed to cover the essentials, but humans might have different ideas as to what you could show off.

Hitsugaya returned wearing a tight black shirt with some sort of silvery zippers on the front and tight blue pants with the knees all worn through. I looked at him a moment longer and then realized what was really weird. "Captain Hitsugaya, are you wearing eye liner?"

Urahara looked up from putting the finishing touches on my hair. I don't know why he insisted on doing it himself. I can manage my own hair after all. "So he is. Nice touch."

"It's a certain human style that helps my hair blend in better. It's called emo."

Urahara muttered around a mouthful of hairpins he tucked between his lips. "It also helps make his eyes look devastatingly gorgeous and causes girls' panties to fall off."

I hoped not. Those panties were almost all that was left between me and the world.

Then Hitsugaya got his first good look at me. Urahara had assured me that my costume was very common and wouldn't cause any comment. Girls who appeared my age wore this uniform to school every day. You would think that the tenth captain would know that. He had spent a lot of time here. "You realize this is Kenpachi's... she is practically his daughter!"

Urahara dusted his hands off. "Done... and I can't help it if hemlines are shorter this year. Do try to keep up with the times, Toshiro."

Yup, he could do the vein thing really, really well. "That's Captain Hitsugaya! And he entrusted her to me! Me. When he kills someone for being responsible for her walking around looking like that, I'm going to be dead!"

Urahara smiled and flicked open his fan. "How is that my problem?"

Hitsugaya pointed at me in a very rude way. "Schoolgirls do not wear their shirts all tied up so their stomachs show."

I put my hands over my stomach and frowned. "They don't?"

He took a step closer and turned almost as white as his hair. "She's showing almost as much breast as Matsumoto and she doesn't have as much to start with!"

Urahara blinked and nearly flash stepped behind the nearest cover.

Hitsugaya never saw my slap coming until it connected with his cheek. "I beg your pardon?"I asked in a deadly soft voice.

Urahara cleared his throat and slinked toward the door. "I'm just going to leave the two of you to discuss this privately."

The captain stared at me and then carefully felt the livid red hand print on his cheek. "I..."

"Am an insensitive ass?" I helpfully finished for him.

"Um..." He stared at me completely nonplussed.

I nodded and slung the cute little plush pink cat backpack I had gotten from Urahara over my shoulder. "Apology accepted. Now, what are we looking for?"

"Aren't you going to... change?"

As I walked out of the shop, I untied the shirt and tucked it in efficiently, doing up a couple more buttons. "Are we here to work or are we here to play fashion show?"