Welcome, children, to the second installation of 'Stardom'! Here you'll find action! Suspense! Charm! Epic romance! Thrills, chills and bloodcurdling spills! Awesome excitement awaits you in this epic tale! Watch out, because you're in for the ride of your life!
Before this amazing adventure of ours continues, a few things must be noted. Against the previous chapter, readers attacked my usage of the word 'minor'. Assumptions were made, saying that I shrank Mario and other characters down to the size of ants. I KNOW MARIO ISN'T A SMALL PIECE OF NINTENDO, BECAUSE HE PRACTICALLY IS NINTENDO! I'm not trying to belittle any character's significance! I apologize for the misunderstandings, but that's not the way I meant to use the word 'minor'!
I also bear no ill will against hard-working, passionate authors. This may convey my dislike for the fandom, but that doesn't translate into scorn against other authors. If neither of those notes can be properly understood, please steer clear. I would GREATLY appreciate it. This is meant to be a lighthearted, fun project.
Hello, dear children and kiddies. I have returned to grace you with my overpowering knowledge, wisdom and information. I have returned to grace you with my awe-inspiring awesomeness, on this very day of Resident Evil incredibility-ness! I hope you reserved your copy, kiddies, because it's going to be one awesome ride! Pick it up at your local game store today! I already got mine, just so you know. I reserved it last month! And I went to the Midnight RE Bash. So sweet. I dressed up as Chris Redfield, and I blew the house down! Unfortunately, the owner of the game shop didn't really like his store being blown to pieces. But it was a Resident Evil party! And Resident Evil games have guns and explosions and stuff-
Ahem. After spending the night in King Dedede's dungeon, I have returned to you with my overpowering knowledge, wisdom and information. I have gathered more data on the Super Smash Bros. fandom, and I wish to spread my awesome, phenomenal knowledge with the WORLD! Bwahahahahahaha! With all of our powers combined, I am Captain America!
No, wait. Captain Falcon! Oops, that's right! Sorry about that. No wonder I ran into a bit of confusion last night. The game store manager accused me of identity theft, and I couldn't figure out why. Then I told him my name was Chris Redfield. That didn't work either. Samus told me my name, though. She's such a sweetie, even if she is doomed to marry Snake. My heart will go on and on...
"So...what are here for again?"
"My dear McCloud, I have compiled all of you into this room for one purpose. After laborious hours of research, observation and information gathering, I have concluded to come to this conclusion."
"I've decided to push my head into an inferno," Samus muttered, giving her words to Solid Snake. "How's that for a conclusion?"
"I thought your research was done, Captain Falcon," Lucas whimpered, wringing his hands together. "And what's with the music?"
"Yeah," Ness snarled, glaring at the fullblown symphony-which was only a few yards away. "I'm surprised we can even hear each other! They're singing at the top of their lungs! And why are we in Ganondorf's castle? Aren't we just making ourselves prime targets for destruction?!"
"Nonsense, Nessie! And by the way, I'm Captain Planet! Don't forget it!"
"Don't forget it my ass," Bowser groaned, putting a hand against his forehead. "And what are those babes singing? Isn't that...Xepher?"
Falco Lombardi turned to him, eyes brighter than stars. "You know what? You're absolutely right. I just had a round of Dance Dance Revolution with Fox last night. That song's incredible. And now we're getting the LIVE version! How about that, huh?"
"Ahem ahem ahem, kiddies! Pay close attention, because you're about to be AMAZED by my awesome splendor! Watch my news unfold," Captain Falcon instructed, unfolding a newspaper. "Hey, wow. According to this, Smash stocks have gone way down. I bought the Bowser Popcorn stock yesterday, too. Too bad the dollar amount's getting bigger. I always thought green was a bad color. I like red more."
Zelda balled her hands into fists. "You idiot! Your stock's worth a million gold coins!"
"Oh, really? That's too bad. I won't know what to do with all that money! Now, here we are! Here's come the fuzz, my beloved Zelda-ness!"
"Wait a minute," Snake threw in, placing a hand upon Falcon's shoulder. "Am I still low on the popularity scale?"
Falcon nodded, grinning from ear to ear. "As a matter of fact, chummy, you are. There are a few individuals that see fit to give you the time of day, but other than that...well, not too many people give a crap about you unless you're paired with Samus. Nothing's changed."
"We picked a date," Samus said nonchalantly, folding her arms. "We're getting married in thirty minutes. None of you are invited."
1) The continuation of Falcon's research! The Ike/Marth pairing has become quite popular lately. The Ike/Pit trend has fallen strangely silent. One Ike/Marth tale is only three chapters long, and it has attained THIRTY chapters! Amazing!
"Question," Ike groaned, raising a hand. "Why does the second trend involve me? What am I, some kind of playboy?"
2) Falcon predicts that the next trend will be Ike/Link It's only a matter of time before that happens.
"Fabulous," the swordsman of Crimea grumbled, slapping his forehead. "What's after that? The Ike/Roy pairing?"
3) Stories concerning Zelda have also become quite popular. In order for her to be successful, though, she must be paired with either Pit or Marth. The predictable Link/Zelda pairing still works wonders as well.
Zelda slumped over in dejection, rolling her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me. Can't I ever be paired with someone...you know...different? What's with all the run-of-the-mill pretty boys?"
4) Obviously, the Smash swordsmen are the flag-toters of this fandom. A scant amount of authors see fit to utilize the other Smashers, but...
5) If one wishes to be a successful author of this fandom, this rule still rings true. Stay away from yaoi all together-unless it concerns Ike. Pit, for some odd reason, is falling out of the popularity circle. Ike's winning!
"Who started the 'Ike is a playboy' trend? That's what I want to know..." a certain swordsman growled.
6) Check out the first two pages of the fandom. Summaries are either similar to one another, or devoid of innovation. It's either 'the Smashers are thrown together, see what happens', 'the Smashers are on an island', 'some original character is thrown into the Smash world', or 'the Smashers are in a chatroom'.
7) Fox/Wolf is growing on the popularity scale. One story in particular has been written, and while it's rather unique, it can't be the famous Ike/Marth legend. The author of the tale with thirty reviews deserves a Nobel Peace Prize!
8) Thankfully, Falcon has discovered other authors who feel disgraced by the fandom. Solid Snake's Aurora isn't the only one that feels this fandom favors the flag-toting swordsmen. Oh, and let's not forget the angel.
Princess Peach, happy with the world and its ways, was more radiant than a Disney Princess. "You know, I haven't been in either part of Falcon's research," she declared happily, beaming from ear to ear. If she became any brighter, the world would break out in song. "No news is good news, right?"
Marth, hovering between rapture and frustration, folded his arms. "I don't know if I should feel ashamed or blissful. I'm happy to have such a fanbase, but...I'd like to experience the spice of life as well. I'd rather spend the rest of my life paired with Roy! That's far more magical than being paired with Ike! Or even Pit!"
9) Recipes for the perfect Smash tale: the Ike/Link/Marth pairing, or a Link/Marth/Zelda/Ike love drama.
10) The Marth/Zelda and Marth/Samus pairings are tremendously high on the popularity scale. Which proves point 5.
"Wait a minute," Meta Knight said, raising one of his small hands into the air. "What of Aurora? If she feels defeated in this fandom, what of her work? What will become of it-and her?"
"Well," the amazing, awe-inspiring Falcon said, pacing around. "As of late, she's become smitten with her newest baby-the Snake/Leon pairing. She glows with love every time she thinks of that pairing. And in addition to that, she has inspired a precious friend of hers-the lady Zephyr-to create her own crossover pairing of love. Today, the lady Aurora wishes to celebrate not only the release of Resident Evil 5, but the newborn love of Snake/Leon and Snake/Cloud Strife."
Samus dove in, as she always did in support of Falcon. "As for her Smash work, it's on indefinite hold. With every passing day, she becomes increasingly dissatisfied with the fandom's trends. She's not asking everyone to be Snake or Metal Gear Solid fanatics, but she's just bored with the rapidly growing trends. I've heard that she wants to touch people, not reach out for popularity. I think she's stirring up an idea for some guy named WesPerry, since she hasn't given him any giftfics yet, but other than that...I don't know. And there's still Psyche. Ginta mentioned her interest in that. Hmmm."
Wolf stepped forward. "Wasn't all of that supposed to be explained in the aftermath of this research?"
"I think someone's in for major trouncing," Fox muttered, passing his words to Falco. "A few people aren't going to be thrilled by Aurora's withering affection. I can think of one Sonic fanatic in particular."
Sonic grinned, holding up a bouquet of roses. "Speaking of, when's my date? I got us a reservation at Olive Garden! I hope Ginta likes Italian. Don't want to stuff her with chili dogs."
11) Falcon commends all passionate authors. To those that write with love and effort: thank you, congratulations, and good luck.
"Who's up for a zombie bash?! I've got a Chris Redfield costume!"
"Falcon, you dumbass! That's a Jill Valentine costume!"
Samus turned to Snake, looking like a bored cat. "Where's the wedding taking place?"
"I thought we were getting hitched here?"
"Oh. Fine with me."
Please note: I mean no harm towards any author. I am all for making friends. XD If this cannot be understood, I'm sorry. I wish you all the hugs in the world.
Xepher is featured in Dance Dance Revolution: Supernova.
References to 'Titanic' and 'Captain Planet' were featured. Were you able to spot them?
