Broken like a noodle

Back on Earth, GIR was running manically about the house.

"EEEEheeeeeheehee!" the robot squealed, springing rapidly from limb to limb – occasionally resulting in an unintentional cartwheel or two. He shrieked again.

Unable to concentrate, Irken Invader Zim emerged from his base, storming into the room.

"GIR! Stop fooling around. How am I supposed to work on my next INGENIOUS plan with all this... madness?"

"MADNESS?" Zim's defective SIR unit shrieked, in a sing-song voice. "MAAAAAAADNESSSS? ...MADNESSSSS..."

GIR turned another cartwheel, landing on his head. He giggled hysterically.

Zim put a weary hand to his head. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered.

"I grow so tired of your insanity, GIR. Unfortunately, there seems no possible way of fixing the problem…" The Irken invader shuddered, remembering only too well the time when he'd tried to fix GIR's behavioural glitches. The results had been disastrous.

"Yippeee!"

GIR, who had been balancing on his head, landed flat on his face.

Just then, the door bell rang.

"That would be the pizza," GIR chirped, springing to his feet and leaping into his Doggy costume.

"You ordered pizza, again?"

From within his doggy disguise, GIR grinned at Zim happily. "It's nice," he exclaimed. "An' it got double cheese!"

The green dog trotted over to the door, reaching up and opening it. But it wasn't the pizza delivery guy.

It was the damaged SIR unit from Planet Dirt. As soon as the door opened, its eyes flickered out and the robot collapsed. GIR watched it as it fell over the threshold.

"Oooo…" GIR gave the other robot a prod. Lifeless.

"What is it now?..." Zim shoved his useless minion out of the way to take a look. His surprised red eyes fell upon the motionless SIR unit in the doorway. "Oh. What's that doing there?"

"Aw. He looks funny. Can we keep 'im? Huh? HUH?"

"No GIR. This one's broken. Look – see?" Zim gave the SIR a firm kick. Still nothing.

"Hmm…" Zim mused, looking down at it. "Hmmm, hmmmm, Hmmm…! No. WAIT. Yes. YES."

Eagerly he snatched up the SIR bot, running back down to his base with it. Clueless, GIR bounced after him gleefully.

* * *

Back in Zim's underground Lab, the Irken invader carried the SIR unit over to an array of equipment. He was still clearly excited by the discovery of it.

"GIR, do you release what this means?" Zim didn't wait for an answer, "it means the Tallest must have sent me this extra SIR unit to aid me in our mission! A more powerful, more…"

Zim tailed off, looking at GIR, who having taken off his dog suit was repeatedly banging his head against a wall.

Zim continued, "a…more reliable…not being-so-funny model…And – GIR GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!"

GIR had begun randomly pressing buttons and levers on the computer to his heart's content. At Zim's words he stopped, proceeding to giggle instead.

Zim busied himself, beginning to connect up wires to the damaged robot. "If I can fix this SIR unit…"

"Aw, look," GIR interrupted sadly, "He's broken!"

"Yes, GIR. As I was saying, if I can –"

"– But he's broken!"

"Yes, but if I can just –"

"He's broken like a noodle."

Zim decided to ignore this last comment and carry on. "If I can just find some way of fixing this unit, I will not just have one robot minion to do my bidding…I WILL HAVE TWO! ZIIIM WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE!"

He started to laugh. The laugh slowly growing, until Zim was cackling uncontrollably, loudly.

And then he stopped suddenly. The Irken soldier held his mouth, disgusted.

"ARRRAGH. What is that horrible STENCH?"

GIR pointed at the broken SIR robot. "He smells like Dookie."

Without hesitation, Zim marched over and prized open the SIR bot's head. A mass of gooey sludge gushed out like a giant wave, washing over both Zim and GIR – and the entire base.

…From outside the house, Zim's screams from within could be heard, with GIR's gleeful laughter in the background.

"ARRRRRRAHHHHHGHHH," screamed Zim's voice from inside, "ARRRRRAHHHHHGHHH - GET IT AWAY FROM ME IT STINKS!"

* * *