Jack couldn't say he'd been listening to Doctor McKay for well over and hour, but he could say Doctor McKay had been talking for well over an hour. Even Daniel's eyes seemed glazed over, though Jack supposed astrophysics or what ever McKay was babbling about wasn't the kind of geek talk the archeologist enjoyed. Even though Jack and several of the other SG team commanders were forced to suffer along with him, it was nice to see Daniel get a dose of his own medicine.

There was a snore from his right and Jack elbowed Kawalsky to wake him up. Misery loves company. No way Jack would let Kawalsky enjoy a nap if he couldn't have one. With that in mind he kicked Dixon under the table. The man across from him couldn't have possibly been reading that report in front of him with his eyes closed.

"Any questions?"

Everyone shifted and yawned as they turned their attention back to Doctor McKay.

Kawalsky asked the question that was on everyone's minds, "Uh, yeah, what was the point of this briefing again?"

"You might know if you listened to me instead of taking a snooze," McKay snarked back.

Jack really didn't want to listen to McKay and Kawalsky get into it yet again, so he tried to diffuse them before they could really get started. "How about you bottom line it for us, McKay?"

"Were any of you people listening?"

"We were listening," Kawalsky told him. "But all we heard was you yakking about how wonderful you were for doing what ever it is you brought us hear to brief us on. We've wasted an hour and a half so you could stroke your own ego."

"I don't have to put up with this!"

"Kawalsky, McKay," Jack said in warning. "Stand down. Both of you." They both gave each other a surly look but the kept silent.

"Um, excuse me, Colonel O'Neill?"

Jack turned his attention to the woman that had timidly spoken. It was the geek woman that had the Jell-o issue in mess the other day. She had come in with McKay carrying his files. She'd spent the briefing unobtrusively lurking in the corner of the room while McKay had talked. He'd almost forgotten she was there. "You got something to say?"

She hesitantly stepped forward, wringing her hands, "Um, sir, I believe the point of the briefing was to inform you that the program that calculates the stellar drift between planets with Stargates has been upgraded and it should give us six to eight addresses a month instead of the two or three it has been up until now."

"Thank you," Jack told her. "A geek that can speak succinctly. Who are you?"

"I'm-"

McKay stepped up beside her, his hand snaking up to rest on her shoulder. "She's my new assistant, Samantha Carter."

"I see." Jack was a little amused to see her shake off his hand and take a step away from him. He pushed up from his chair and began collecting his things. "In the future, McKay, when you have something that isn't directly related to a mission do ya think you could have Miss Carter give us a brief heads up or type up a memo? We all know how smart you are you are. You don't have to put us to sleep to prove it. We really don't care how all this works as long as it does." He gestured out the window to the Stargate below. "That's why the Air Force hired you. To make it work."

He started to make his way out of the briefing room when he heard a small voice behind him, "It's actually Doctor Carter, sir."

"I'll try to remember that," Jack glanced back over his shoulder as he left.

Kawalsky was right behind him, but paused long enough to tell her, "At least you're a little easier on the eyes than McKay."


Sam stared after Major Kawalsky, wondering if that was really a compliment or not.

"Hi."

She turned around to see Doctor Jackson standing behind her. "Hi."

"I don't think we've met. I'm Daniel Jackson," he said offering his hand to shake.

She shook it enthusiastically and smiled at him, "Yes, I know. Everyone around here knows who you are, Doctor Jackson. You're the one who made the Stargate work."

"I didn't really do a whole lot," he shifted uncomfortably and pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm sure someone would have figured it out eventually."

"Of course I would have," McKay interrupted. He handed Sam the stack of folders she had carried in. "If you'll excuse us, Doctor Jackson. We have work to do."

"Yeah, me too. It was nice to meet you, Doctor Carter. Maybe we could get lunch some time?"

"I'd like that. Well, I'd better be going," she nodded in the direction of Doctor McKay already heading out the door.

"See you around."

"Bye."

"Are you coming?" McKay, already halfway down the hall, demanded

"Yes, Doctor McKay." She hurried after him.

"You know Doctor Jackson is married, don't you?" he asked when she had caught up.

"Everyone knows that. She was taken over by a goa'uld," Sam replied wondering what the point his question was.

"Then maybe you shouldn't flirt with him like that."

Sam stopped in the middle of the hallway. "I was NOT flirting with him. He merely introduced himself."

"Whatever you say, " he said as he continued to walk to the elevator.

Sam gritted her teeth and followed after him. She really didn't know how much more she could take of the arrogant and increasingly irritating man.


"This is totally unbelievable! You are a small and pathetic man! That was my updated stellar drift program and you know it! Now, just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't …"

"Um, whom are you talking to?"

Blood surged to her face as Sam spun around to see Colonel O'Neill standing in the doorway of the lab. "Oh, God." She couldn't believe that anyone had heard that least of all him. "Oh, God."

"Honestly, I'd be a little freaked out if your reproductive organs were on the outside, Doctor," he said motioning with the folder in his hand toward the area of her reproductive organ hidden by her brown plaid skirt.

He was smiling. She'd never seen him smile before, though actually it wasn't really a smile. It was more of a mocking smirk. She hated that it was directed at her.

"Oh, God," she turned her back to him, hoping she'd just imagined him there.

He tapped her on the shoulder with his folder. "Doctor Carter?"

"Please be a delusion."

"Not a delusion, Doc."

She turned around slowly, her cheeks still a bright red, "I can't believe you heard that."

"I can't believe you came up with that. You might want to keep working on the speech a bit before you go telling McKay off."

"I'll do that, Colonel," she cleared her throat and tried to regain some of her composure. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, could you make sure the 'small and pathetic man' gets this?" he asked handing her the folder he'd brought with him.

"Of course. Anything else?"

"Yeah, give me a call before give McKay that speech. I'd like to see that. I could probably sell tickets."

She glared at him, meeting his mocking eyes, "I'll be sure to do that, Colonel. Perhaps we could have an assembly in the Gate Room."

A little of the ridicule left his expression. "Good idea, Doctor." With that he turned to go, but she called him back. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you for the Jell-o the other day. That was very nice of you."

"Yeah, well, let's just not let that get out."