Chapter 2
a loud moan came from the basement. We both turned our heads simultaneously to look at the basement door.
"What was that?" I asked
"I don't know. Let's check it out." Scout said and we ran down the stairs.
We rushed down stairs to see what was going on in the basement. We found a frightened Deidara under a blanket on the sofa/sofa bed, and Sasori was peeking through his fingers, so he could say he wasn't watching (if asked) and Hidan was glued to the TV, fascinated, and on the said TV screen, were girls I didn't know, doing things I don't wanna see.
"WHOLY JASHIN! THEY FOUND THE PORN CHANNEL!!!" Scout screamed. In a much calmer voice, she added, "Hey Olivia, when did we get a girl porn channel?"
"It came with the boy one." I sighed.
"UNN?!" Deidara yelped.
"Sorry, we're not as innocent as you thought." Scout implied. "WE?!" I cried, wanting to dive under a blanket myself.
"Why do you have a boy one, perv?" Hidan hinted.
"Why were you watching the girl one, perv?" scout countered. "Olivia, I had no part in any of this." Sasori lied.
"We saw you watching through your fingers." Scout emphasized.
"Damn!" sasori uttered.
"There you go with the 'we' again!" I said.
"In my defense, I'm a 35 year old man." Sasori continued.
"That's nice, pedo." Hidan remarked, momentarily looking away from the TV.
"I am NOT a pedophile!" Sasori exclaimed.
"yeah, we all know Deidara's the pedophile." Scout replied.
"NANI!?" Deidara shrieked.
"How?" Sasori questioned.
"You read too many fanfics." I laughed.
"No, I write too many fanfics." She corrected me, smiling.
"What the hell are fanfics?" Hidan wondered.
"THEY DON'T KNOW FANFICS!!!" Scout panicked. "It's our duty to show them what they've been missing!" Scout ranted.
"It's our 'duty' to corrupt their minds!?" I asked.
"You saw what Hidan and sasori were looking at!" she pointed out.
"It's our 'duty' to corrupt Deidara's mind!?" I rephrased.
"hmm," scout contemplated, "we'll start him off light, maybe a lime or two. As for sasori and Hidan, we'll give 'em hardcore lemony goodness." Scout schemed.
"Should we trust her?" Sasori asked me. "NO, absolutely not." I answered.
"Exactly which kind of 'lemony goodness' are you planning on showing them?" I asked Scout. She hesitated before answering.
"Hot Yaoi smex." She admitted. Looking around or the laptop she had left down here somewhere. Then, after finding it, brought up the website in tabs. "First a very sweet yaoi lemon for Deidara" scout says in a singsong voice … wait,
"YAOI LEMON, YOU SAID LIGHT!!!" I cried. Scout shrugs and said,
"Yeah well I changed my mind." And moved on to Sasori and Hidan.
"Bu…wha…I…you…insane! NO!" I protested. "I am completely against this!" I said, and then began reading over Deidara's shoulder.
"Olivia? Ooooooliiiiiiiiiviiiiiiiiiiaaaaaa?" scout asked, shaking my shoulder when I didn't respond.
"Huh? What?!" I asked and snapped out of the story.
"Everyone finished reading except for you." She told me and shut the window.
"HEYYYYYYYYY! I was reading that, un!" Deidara exclaimed, while scout forced Hidan to shut the laptop.
"Hidan, you're too smart for your own good." Scout scolded. "How?!" Sasori wondered, amazed that such a thing could be possible.
"He learned how to find other stories he hasn't read yet." She explained.
"So, are we supposed to act like that, un?" Deidara asked meekly me and scout shouted,
"NO!" in unison. Scout thought for a moment.
"We should probably figure out how they do act, though."
"How we should act for…Dang! I chipped a nail!" he pouted. I looked down at my own hands.
"Yeah, me too." I admitted. Deidara smiled and said,
"I'll do you if you do me, un." Hidan snickered,
"Wow that's naughty Deidara." Deidara blushed and rephrased. "I was talking about painting nails, un!!!"
"Sure I'll paint your nails." I responded, ignoring Hidan's remark. Scout grabbed Hidan's hand.
"I'm doing your nails." She stated.
"No fucking way!" he roared, trying to jerk his hand away. She glared at him and he quickly reconsidered.
"I guess that would be okay." He said timidly.
"That's what I thought you said." She replied and she went up stairs to get the small bottles of nail polish. She came back down with four in her hand, but tossed two to me when Hidan wasn't looking. "Okay, pick one." She told him, holding out the two remaining bottles, which were pink and magenta colored. (that she had stolen from her sister for just such occasions. I mean, how often do you get to paint a violent sadomasochist's nails pink?)
"Aren't their any other colors?" he whined as I unscrewed the dark blue and black nail polish scout had thrown to me.
"No." she replied, "Now choose." She commanded, shoving the repulsive colors in his face again (A/N: sorry about the 'repulsive' bit. We're emo. All we want are cookies! And reviews…sorta)
"But what about your nails?!" he insisted.
"We just ran out." She lied smugly.
"What about Deidara's nails? They look black!" he said, refusing to give in.
"It's just the angle." She convinced him. I snickered while carefully layering Deidara's nails with black and blue.
"Fine, then! The Magenta one!" he wailed unhappily.
"Thanks, un!" Deidara said when I finished.
"You're welcome. Now paint mine!" I said, extending my hand. "Sure, un. How do you want yours?" he asked
"Same way." I replied.
"Wait, Olivia, we should really decide who they are."
"Right." I tried to act interested.
"Hold still, un!" Deidara commanded.
"Sorry." I whispered.
"So?" I asked scout
"So," she started, focusing on Hidan's nails. "If they're going to survive our high school, we'll have to make up stories for them. Y'know, so they fit in more." She explained.
"Oh, okay. So for Sasori," he looked up at the sound of his name (he was watching TV, waiting for his turn.) "he should live with his grandma and he should like woodshop."
"Okay." She replied and whipped out her laptop and began hacking the school's network. (something she did quite often.) "Hey, don't smudge it!" she ordered Hidan, who was desperately trying to remove the retched color from his finger nails when he thought she wasn't looking.
"And Deidara should a have art." I continued, and then asked Deidara, "can you play an instrument?"
"Uh, yeah, un. The guitar" he admitted shyly.
"Really? That's perfect!" I said
"Yeah, you should be the sensitive (but not gay) kind of guy." scout agreed, then said, "Hidan was abused."
"Why, un?" Deidara wondered.
"How else would you explain the scars, cursing and violence?" she asked.
"Oh, right, un." He mumbled.
"And I think Hidan should have an over worked mom and at least 3 older brothers who bullied him since he was born." I added. "and his elective should be weight training and auto-mechanics."
"What about me, un?" Deidara asked, after finishing my nail polish.
"Art and free period, so you can play your guitar and build up your character more." I suggested.
"Can you sing?" scout asked him.
"Well, I think so, un." He said, embarrassed.
"Good, you can write songs too. Now, we'll start the rest later, but for now, let's go swimming!"
We handed the boys old pairs of my dad's shorts I found in his closet, and told them to meet us out back by the pool. Me and scout pulled our own swim suits on and headed out to the back yard, where the boys were fighting by the pool. They froze and stared. Scout was wearing last years slightly faded and small black two piece bikini with a blood splatter pattern, and I was wearing a black and blue two piece with a wave pattern. I tried to hide behind scout, but she moved. "What are you fucktards staring at?!" Scout demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"A-are you supposed to be wearing that, un?" Deidara asked, madly blushing.
"Oh…OH SHIT! I forgot to get dressed!" sarcasm dripping off of scout's voice. "Yes, of course I am! This is what girls wear in the pool!" She shouted.
"DAMMMMMN!" Hidan shouted and whistled. Scout slapped him so hard, he fell into the pool.
"Uhhh…well, now that Hidan is in the pool, let's go swimming." I suggested awkwardly. Scout cannon-balled in, landing intentionally on Hidan, who had just resurfaced, with a huge red spot on his cheek. Deidara and Sasori seemed more reluctant to get wet, so I grabbed both their hands and jumped in, pulling both of them with me. SPLASH!!! Cool water engulfed me and I felt Deidara let go, but Sasori hung onto me for dear life. I went to the surface and I took him with me. When we got there, he gasped for air and sputtered,
"DON'T LET GO!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
"Really? I'm so sorry, I had no idea!" I apologized, swimming above water to the shallow end, were we could stand. He looked terrified.
"I'm sorry!" I repeated and hugged him. He clamed down a bit and scout swam over.
"What's with sex puppet?" she asked, swimming around us.
"What's wrong, dana?" Deidara asked, joining us. Sasori was so upset, he didn't even react to scout's nice nick name for him.
"I can't swim!!!" he repeated and clung to me. "AND, I'm afraid of water." He shut his eyes tight and I guided him to the stairs and helped him sit down on a chair and wrapped a towel around him. "What a baby." Scout muttered and jumped on Hidan back. "YOU'RE IT!" She screamed in his ear and swam away, creating a distraction.
"GET BACK HERE, BITCH!" he yelled and dove after her.
"Why are you afraid of water, un?" Deidara asked, getting out and sitting with us.
"In the Suna, we have flash floods when it rains. When I was little, I almost drowned in one of those floods." He explained quietly. "Oh…" I said, dumbstruck. "I never would hav-" I began, but he cut me off.
"No, its okay, you didn't know, and I should have said something."
"I'm getting back in, un." Deidara said and waded back into the pool from the stairs.
"Are you gonna be okay here Sasori?" I asked, wanting to go back in too.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go have fun." He assured me, stretching out in the sun.
"Okay. Just stay dry!" I told him, and joined Deidara, Scout, and Hidan in the water.
An hour later…
Scout came up from a dive and looked over at the puppet boy, basking in the sun.
"Ha, Sasori, you look like a lizard!" she teased, getting out.
"I AM a lizard." He replied flicking his tongue in and out quickly, like a reptile would. I doubled over in laughter and Scout chuckled and smacked his severely sun burned chest, leaving a big white hand print on his stomach.
"Owwwww!" He cringed in pain.
"YAY! You got sun burned!" Scout cried happily. "I'll go get the ice cubes!" She added.
"I'll get the aloe vera." I said and jumped out. We disappeared inside, and when I emerged holding a green bottle, I found Scout and Hidan sitting around Sasori, dropping Ice cubes on his hot skin, listening to them fizzle. Hidan held down Sasori's arms to keep him from wriggling around too much when Scout dropped the ice cold chunks of frozen water on to him. They both laughed at the fizzling sound and watching the ice cube melt instantly. Sasori was desperately trying to get them to stop, and was squirming around from the cold.
"HEY! You guys! Stop it!" I begged them and knocked the ice cube tray from Scout's hand. Scout went to retrieve it and Hidan followed after her.
"Thank you." Sasori panted and sat up.
"Sure." I said I handed him the bottle. "Here. Rub it in. It will make the sun burn feel better." I told him.
"Okay." He replied and squeezed some green goop out of the bottle and into his hand.
"Ewww…" he grimaced.
"It'll help. Believe me." I reassured him. He hesitated, and then reluctantly rubbed it into his skin, wincing with pain. Scout came back, holding the empty ice cube tray.
"Oh! Aloe vera! This is fun too!" she exclaimed, then turned to me, "And since YOU ruined the ice cubes, I get to help!" she concluded and grabbed the bottle from Sasori.
"Hey, don't I get a say in-" Sasori protested, but Scout cut him off,
"No! Now quit moving around!" she ordered, shoving back down and forcefully rubbing the lotion in as hard as she could.
"OWWW!" Sasori yelped.
"Scout! You're making it worse!" I said, attempting to stop her. She struggled form my grip and called out,
"Hidan help me!" Just then Deidara and Hidan realized what was going on, and came over.
"What?" Hidan asked, towering above Scout.
"C'mon and help me hurt the puppet!" she demanded.
"No!" I told him, and finally got the bottle away from Scout and now Hidan, who didn't really know what was going on, he just wanted to hurt someone. I tossed it to Deidara, and Hidan put him in a head lock. Maybe that wasn't the best idea.
"AHHH, un! You want it so bad?! Then go get it, un!!!" Deidara yelled and threw it in too the pool. Hidan released him and dove in after it.
"Fine." I sighed "I'll just go get some more. Sorry Sasori." I apologized.
"Owww…" he winced as Scout started 'helping' again. She splashed water on to him repeatedly, making more sizzling noises.
