Flashlight - Jessie J
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're getting me, getting me, through the night
Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes
Later on that night Sam lay in her bed, tossing and turning. After leaving Josh she'd gone home and moped around the house until her parents got back and then she hid in her room, not wanting them to ask about her day. Her parents had been overly worried about her ever since Hannah and Beth had disappeared and even though Sam hated keeping things from them she also didn't want to talk about what she was feeling to them either.
How could she tell them about the tornado of emotions that seemed to engulf her? She was doing her best to keep it together at school and had even begun to go out with the group again even if she was still harboring some lingering feelings of anger at the prank that they had caused. She'd seen the regret that shadowed their faces when they were together, it'd been a childish prank gone so wrong. The level-headed side of her told her to forgive them and she really was working on it.
But now she lay on her back staring at the ceiling and praying that sleep would find her soon. Unfortunately for her, everytime she closed her eyes she could see Josh's face which was familiar and foreign all at once. She didn't know how to help him anymore than she knew how to help herself.
As she mulled over the day the sound of a tap on her window brought her shooting up in bed with a thudding heart. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow peering in through her window and she nearly screamed until her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she could make out the features in the window.
Kicking off her sheets she hurried over to the window and opened it "Jesus christ Josh, you scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry." He said a bit sheepishly as he pulled himself over the window sill and into her room. Sam shut the window behind him to keep out the chill. "I just couldn't stay in that house anymore."
With a little sigh she turned on her bedside lamp, "It's okay, but maybe next time send a text before you decide to come tapping on a girl's window in the middle of the night."
"Will do." He shifted from foot to foot, looking a little awkward as he looked around Sam's room "It's weird, the last time I was in here you had frilly blankets and pink walls."
"The last time you were in here I was eleven." She reminded him as she sat on the edge of her bed, and nodding at the desk chair which he plopped into. "You were always too busy to hang out with us after you hit puberty. So did you want to talk about something?" She asked, still hurting from his rebuff from earlier.
Josh looked uncomfortable at her pointed stair "No-I-I don't know why I came here, sorry I'll just go." He got up to leave.
"Josh, wait." Sam grabbed his hand. "Come back… I didn't mean it like that."
He sat down again, this time on the bed next to her. They sat together in silence for a few moments, both wondering what to say or ask.
"How did we get here?" He finally asked, turning to look at her finally, his brown eyes imploringly looking at her for answers she didn't have.
"I don't know. I wish that we were any place but here. I wish that we'd never gone to the lodge and that Hannah had stayed inside rather than running out into the storm by herself."
"Me too." Josh agreed quietly, before leaning into her for comfort. "I wish I hadn't been drunk and passed out. I could have done something."
"You can't think like that. It's not going to help anything now." She clenched her fists, she felt the same way. She wished she'd been quick enough to stop Hannah from going up stairs to face that prank.
After that they sat there silently on her bed until the first rays of dawn began to shine through the trees and then Josh got up and left without a saying a goodbye. Somehow Sam knew that this was going to be a regular thing.
So when he tapped on her window the next night she was already awake and ready to let him in.
That night they talked about their childhood, which had largely been spent together. Josh's father and her own had been college buddies and had ended up deciding to move to the same city after graduating from school. Sam had been raised with the Washington's and had spent her summers at their various properties with her whole family.
"Do you remember when Hannah fell in that patch of poison ivy when you guys were ten and how she cried the whole way home until Beth started crying because she couldn't do anything to help?" Josh asked from his place on the floor, reclined against her bed.
"Yup I do." Sam said with a little laugh, she was laying on the bed with her head by his, "I also remember a certain big brother running and throwing himself in those bushes to try and make them feel better."
"Well it worked didn't it?"
"Yes it did, you always had a way to calm the two of them down even if it meant hurting yourself." Sam yawned as her eyes drooped.
"Sleepy?" He asked and she shrugged, she hadn't slept the night before.
"Just go to sleep, I'll let myself out." His lips were by her ear and the last thing she heard before she fell asleep was the sound of the window sliding open and then shut again.
When tomorrow comes
I'll be on my own
Feeling frightened of
The things that I don't know
When tomorrow comes
A month and a half later Sam walked into her favorite coffee shop and scanned the room until her eyes fell on her friends.
"Sam!" Ashley hurried over to her and threw her arms around the blond "It's so good to see you!"
"Hey Ash, Chris. How are you guys?" Sam looked between them, as always they were the first to arrive. Probably so they could spend time in each other's company before everyone else got in the way.
"We're doing good." Chris said giving her a hug too, despite his assurances he looked a little thin and tired. He had been passed out with Josh that night, he probably felt some of what Josh was feeling. "Hey this may be a stupid question," he began as they headed back to the table "But have you talked to Josh at all?"
"Um, yeah. Yeah I've talked to him." Sam replied slowly, not wanting to reveal the fact that he snuck into her room every night. People would take it the complete wrong way. "Why?"
"Well he hasn't returned any of our calls." Ash sniffed while sipping her latte. "We get that he needed some space but it's been a month and a half since Hannah and Beth went missing, it might be time for him to emerge from that massive house."
"Ashley…" Chris gently rebuffed her and she seemed to realize how insensitive her words were.
"Sorry." She apologized somewhat sheepishly "I always seem to put my foot in my mouth don't I? Anyways. Lets change the subject."
She began to chatter about the drama that was unfolding between Emily and Mike and how they seemed to be on the verge of a breakup and Chris chimed in with his own comments here and there. Sam was only half listening, as she stirred her coffee.
Josh really hadn't talked to anyone since the incident? The thought bothered her. Alot. Especially since Chris was his best friend.
Later on that night when he tapped on her window she slid it open and blurted out her frustrations "I saw Chris and Ashley today. They told me you haven't talked to anyone since we got back. Is that true?"
Josh stepped into the room and sighed as she slammed the window shut behind him. "It's true. I haven't talked to any of them."
"Josh! They are worried about you, they want to know if you're okay."
"I don't want to talk to any of them, they pulled the prank that caused all of this." Josh had that foreign expression on his face again, it was a mix between anger and something more wild.
"Even Chris? Who had nothing to do with that whole stupid prank in the first place?"
Josh didn't answer, his expression became shuttered, not letting her know what he was feeling.
With a heavy sigh Sam made a quick decision and opened her window and pointed into the night "Get out."
Shock registered a crossed Josh's face "What do you mean Sam-"
"Get out." She repeated herself and the words almost physically hurt to say. "You can't isolate yourself and I won't stand by and let you. You need to try and forgive them Josh they are stupid kids who didn't realize that their actions could have repercussions like this. You need to stop hiding in your house or hiding with me and come back to us."
"Sam…" He began to reach out for her but she took a step back.
"Go."
With one final look at her he climbed through the window and was gone.
Author's Note:
Yay! Chapter two is finally done! I had to rewrite it a couple of times because I wasn't sure what I wanted to add and where to go since I have a beginning result and an end result in mind it's just the middle parts that I haven't decided just yet. I think that what I really want to convey is Josh's anger towards the group because of the prank I pulled and also I think that Sam has her own anger towards them even if she won't quite admit it yet.
As always a quick sneak peek of next chapter's song!
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
Anyways I hoped you enjoy and will continue to enjoy! Please read and review!
- LittleMoonLover -
