Chapter 2: Melancholy
"Seichi! Wake up, you'll be late!"
Yukimura awoke with pounding in his head and an odd ringing in his ears. He shook his head in a failed attempt to get rid of the migraine, and then went to take a cold shower, hoping to clear his mind in the process. Yukimura could remember dreaming, but that was just about it. The freezing water flowed over him, and he flung his eyes open. Switching off the shower, he remembered feeling rain. There was lots of rain in his dream.
His memory started pushing forth a voice screaming in the near distance. The voice was terribly familiar, but it was like trying to catch fish with bare hands. The name just slipped out of his grasp. Yukimura, naturally, found this very frustrating, not to mention the fact that he was attempting to think when all his head wanted to do was pound itself apart.
Walking out of the showers, he methodically pulled on his school uniform and took the bus to Rikkai Dai. Renji met him at the gateway, and the first thing that occurred to Yukimura was that Sanada was absent.
"Genichirou is not coming today, his mother called me."
Not coming…Yukimura felt a surge of disappointment, with an underlying panic. For the past few days, it was all Yukimura could do to not stare blatantly at the other boy. It was good having Renji as a best friend, cause than he could helpfully point out that you were ogling your other best friend. Yukimura could not explain the sudden obsession, but he just felt something every time he looked at the stoic boy.
"Ah, he's not sleeping again? Should scold him, nationals is coming…" That earned Yukimura a raised eyebrow from Renji.
"The hypocrisy in that, Seichi. You haven't been sleeping either, have you?"
"I have, just not well, but how did you know that?" Renji insisted that it was due to data, and seeing Yukimura every single day and knowing his disposition inside out, but Yukimura thought that Renji didn't quite meet his eyes. Does Renji know something? But that was impossible; Renji wouldn't hide anything from him, not about Sanada at least, and not about the dreams, if he knew anything about the damn things.
They walked to class in oppressing silence, both distracted by their own personal thoughts to pay any attention to anything else. They exchanged absent-minded parting words and left for their individual classrooms.
Renji walked on, and then paused in his tracks as he overheard a conversation taking place in a classroom with an open door.
"Oi Yagyuu, do you realise that Yukimura is starting to resemble Sanada? Dark circles around the eyes, and there was I thinking that I had contracted myopia but Marui also-"
"Niou-kun, just concentrate on your work."
"Chehhhh."
Renji expected the team to realise that there was something wrong with their captain as well. But if I remember everything, then Yagyuu, he should remember too, he was left behind too…"
He could never ask Yukimura about the dreams, at least not until Yukimura brings up the subject himself. Renji would never speak because it hurt him less that way. He knew that Yukimura's memory was kicking in, just like how Sanada's had a while back. Renji had dreams too, but he knew them, he never forgot what happened so long ago…
When Renji dreams, he remembers every vivid content, he remembers reaching too late, he remembers the blood, he remembers the two figures in the rain, one clasping the other in a firm embrace, as if trying to hold onto the other's life. He remembers all the wretched guilt and hate and helplessness. He remembers it all too well, because he felt it before.
He hears screaming.
Worse still, Renji knows who's screaming it is.
Sanada Genichirou sat at his desk. He had made sure that his door was locked to prevent his parents from entering. At least they thought that he was sleeping. When his mother had walked in earlier that morning and saw her son staring blankly at his table, she had pointed firmly to the bed and called Renji up to inform him that Sanada would not be going to school because he was unwell.
Not welcoming the unnecessary interference in his schedule, Sanada had no choice but to comply. However, school had served as a distraction, now he had long hours to mull away without anything productive to do but think.
Thinking was however, not an option anymore. Thinking always led back to the dreams, which was what Sanada was running away from. It had been five days since he had slept properly, four since he fainted in school. He had returned to school the day after, and realised that there was some unspoken tension between Yukimura and him. He had asked Renji if their captain was angry with him, but Renji had told him no, and little else. There was that sneaky suspicion that Renji was hiding something, something that would explain the whole mess.
Turning around slowly, he checked the clock and sighed. It was twelve, last period would be starting and he would have better things to do in school than here at home where he could not stare at Yuki-
Wait. Scratch that. Sanada felt like dying, had more important things to think about than his sudden obsessive behaviour with regards to his captain and how Yukimura seemed to be so-
Oh. He was doing it again. Shaking his head in a failed attempt to clear it of all unwanted thoughts, Sanada put his head down on his desk to get rid of the impending migraine that came all too often. Within seconds, his even breathing sounded softly throughout the room.
Pain. The pain was fire in every nerve and bone in his broken body.
He was lying on his side on the hard ground, feeling the blood leave him to pool around his body, and he stared at the clear night sky. It was a nice night, perfect for reminiscing, if he had more than but few moments of his life left. That smell was there again, that beautiful, haunting scent that used to bring tears of regret to his eyes. But no more of that. There was now only peace and satisfaction.
Relief overruled the pain.
As his sight grew dim and his breathing grew heavy, he felt a name escape his lips with a sigh.
"How are you, Sanada? Everyone's missed you."
Sanada looked at the owner of that soft, beautiful voice with an ounce of trepidation. After yesterday's dream, Sanada didn't know if he could still look at Yukimura in the face without feeling embarrassed. As usual, Sanada could not remember much of it, just a night sky and a heck lot of pain and…saying Yukimura's name. Thankfully, Yukimura did not seem to realise Sanada's discomfort, but as they walked down the corridor to their classes ("Renji will not be coming, he said that he has something to do."), he stole a glance at Yukimura's face, and saw exhaustion written plainly all over it. Concern forced nervousness down, and he grabbed Yukimura's arm firmly.
The sudden throbbing migraine hit them both at full force.
Rain. Blood. Tears.
"There is no reason for you to be here."
"I can think of more than one."
"You said you loved me, did you lie then?"
"…"
"Draw your sword."
Sanada staggered against the wall, pushing Yukimura back at the same time the other boy pulled away forcefully. Yukimura gasped for air, as the pounding at his temples lessened and faded away. When he regained his composure enough to look at his companion, Sanada started apologising mindlessly, only able to think about the content of that sudden attack of visions.
"What was that? Sanada?" Yukimura's voice shook with uncertainty, a first for him. Sanada realised that the other boy probably had the same visions as he did. Who was conversing back there? Why did that happen when I touched his arm? What's happening to us?
Yagyuu turned round the corner and found himself face to face with Yanagi. He started and let slip a "Renji!" before berating himself mentally. Lovely, Hiroshi. It's supposed to be Yanagi, now. To his mortification however, Renji just tilted his head politely before replying in a perfectly calm voice.
"So you do remember, Hiroshi."
Yagyuu found himself frozen to the spot. Renji guided him gently into an empty classroom and sat him down. "Renji, why are they remembering? Why didn't we forget? How about the others?" Yanagi found himself smiling slightly. It had been a long time since he last heard Yagyuu so flustered and out of sorts. "You ask many questions I cannot answer, but I must ask you one now. Does Niou remember Masaharu the spy?"
The silence in the classroom hung heavily. It was a clearer answer to Renji than if Yagyuu had shook his head. Renji opened the door, leaving Yagyuu to his quiet resentment. In many ways, Renji knew, Yagyuu was suffering far more than he was. Here, in this period of time, Niou loved him, as a friend or more, but that was because Niou did not remember what Yagyuu had done, all Yagyuu had done. Renji knew that Yagyuu would give everything and anything not to remember.
Sometimes, his dream changed. He would be in a room, lit dimly by candlelight from the lanterns. There was the sound of rain pouring on the roof. He would tense involuntarily upon hearing the distant rumbling of thunder. His left hand would reach out to grab the sword, which he knew, would be there instinctively. His right hand would rest on his sword hilt, ready to draw the blade at any given moment. This puzzled him for a moment, as he wondered why he was getting tense at the sound of thunder.
Then he felt the presence from behind him. The presence in the room moved so swiftly that before he could draw the sword fully, someone hugged him gently from the back.
Tension melted away to shock to fear to delight when the person trailed a light kiss down his neck. He tried to turn around and failed as the arms wrapped around him tightened slightly, preventing him from moving. He ended up relaxing into the embrace, feeling more love then he could remember ever feeling.
When Yukimura woke up in the middle of the night, he found himself longing desperately after –he could not remember. He cried silently at the strange yet painful feeling of emptiness.
AN: Whooooee. This chapter was a killer, and I made everything too complicated, so editing was necessary. Please review, I would like to know how I could improve!
