Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do own this plot though so kindly back off and write your own. Yeah I see you, you over there with the copy and paste button.
Story by Chellebelle583 of DCM.
AN: Hi guys, I'm still thrilled to be back and writing again, so thrilled in fact that I started a new story.
Don't be offended by Bella's attitude towards children in this story, it's fictional and not a representation of my own feelings at all.
Many buckets of love and sloppy wet kisses to my Beta for this chapter who jumped in because my regular beta is having a well deserved break. Vampiremama, I bow to you and your skills and Chartwilightmom. Both are authors in there own right and their stuff is fucking awesome.
Okay and I'm done.
BPOV
After Edward and his delightful spawn leave I stand in the exact same spot for quite some time. Lauren finally stops masticating long enough to tell me she's going home.
I merely raise a hand at her as she leaves the office. I'm more than pleased to have the place to myself. I certainly do not like the idea of having to explain to anyone why I can't string a sentence together or why my legs are awkwardly crossed as I stand.
The latter is a way to muffle the pleas for Edward from my woo-hoo. This is all her fault anyway. How dare she lead me up this path of darkness?
Not only have I agreed to a date with a man who has not one, but two children. I also happen to treat one of them for some serious post divorce issues.
This leads me to my next problem. Edward's divorced and divorced men more often then not come with ex-wives.
Ex-wives are often as bitter and resentful as their children and I'm not sure the twinges are worth me being quite so hated by at least two other human beings. No doubt Edwards other child will have a problem with 'daddy's new bar skank' as Sam so eloquently referred to me.
Eventually I take the risk of unclenching and walk back into my office to grab my coat and purse. I think about calling Rose and asking her for some advice about letting down Edward gently. He's already got severe confidence problems, no doubt the responsibility of the ex-wife. As a mental health professional it doesn't sit right with me to exasperate them with further rejection.
Evidently my woo hoo has won this round and I will still be going on the date. I wonder if it would seem strange to Edward if I sent him a note asking him to leaving behind any children and ex-wives he may have thought about bringing with him.
My thoughts are not like other peoples thoughts are they? Maybe I should seek professional help.
On my way home I decide a lemon martini is in order and drop into Bertie's, Rose's bar. The name comes from her late father Bertie Hale.
Rose's bar is quite a warm and welcoming place and quite popular with the locals, but I'm glad on this occasion that it's not that busy and I can drink in relative peace.
Or not.
Emmett is working tonight so my peaceful drink plan, like so many of my plans today has gone flying out the window.
"Hey, Bellawella! I'm so glad your here. I need your help deciding what to get Rose for Christmas," he tells me.
"Hi, Emmett. First of all what is that shirt you're wearing? Secondly its two days before the big day and your only now thinking about this?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"I'll have you know this shirt is designer...Matthew someone or other," he says proudly, running his giant hands over the awful pale blue ruffles. I've become some what accustomed to Emmett's terrible taste in shirts, but I drawn the line at pale blue ruffles and ruffled cuffs.
I shake my head at my very dear and fashion challenged friend and ask him if he thought about getting Rose those shoes she's been eyeing up in Bloomingdales for quite a while.
"What shoes?" he asks looking very confused.
"The ones with the silver strap and open toes. The Gucci ones, Emmett. She has told you about them at least ten times in the last month."
He looks completely blank in the face. "Oh forget it, Em,I'll take care of the shoes for you and you can give me the money later," I tell him.
He releases a huge sigh of relief. He is such a man.
"Where is Rose anyway?" I ask needing her company, more then her ruffle wearing husbands.
"She's giving Caitlin her dinner, why don't you go upstairs and see them?" he offers.
I try not to openly cringe at the idea of spending additional time in the company of children. I go out of my way at all times to let Rose and Emmett think their daughter is an exception but I'm exhausted.
I would never cut Rose and Emmett out of my life simply for procreating. In fact I was delighted for them when Caitlin came along. Rose simply glowed as a new mother and Emmett was every inch the proud papa.
I may have my own issues, but I try very, very hard not to let it keep me from the closest thing I have to a family in this city. And although Caitlin, in my professional opinion has severe boundary issues I am nothing if not perfectly polite and caring with the child. I even adopted a panda in her name for her second birthday and bought her some shares in a very profitable company for her third. And if that wasn't enough I've attended every single birthday party she has had. Yes indeed, all it requires is two, highly dosed valium and a lemon martini and I am a happy Aunt Bell. I pin tails on donkey's and everything.
I tell Emmett I'm going to head upstairs to the apartment he and Rose have above the bar. It's a very nice space, nicely decorated with cream and chocolate accents, but I know that Rose isn't happy about raising her child so close to the bar.
I on the other hand would consider it perfect were I in her position. Twenty four hour access to alcohol will be a must if the worst should ever happen.
I'm making my way slowly up the stairs. No need to rush here when my cell sounds off in my purse. I pull it out and see a number I'm not familiar flashing at me. I consider letting it go to voice mail for a second, but it could be a patient with some pre pubescent emergency.
I hit the accept call button and cringe. I don't really want to do this, but my professionalism is...professional?
"Hello, Dr Swan's phone," I answer.
"Bella, its Edward." Oh shit.
"Hi, Edward, what can I do for you?" I'm going to assume this call is in relation to his son. Anything else holds the dangerous possibility of exciting the woo-hoo.
"I umm, I wanted to ask you if perhaps we could move our date forward?" he stutters.
And the woo-hoo does a back flip. Perhaps she needs a Valium.
"How forward?" I ask.
I'm still sitting down on Rose's stairs on what I suspect is something disgusting and wet.
"I know this is ridiculously short notice, but I was hoping for tonight. I think it would be better if we didn't wait, especially after today. We need to talk."
He's right, we do need to talk. I'm not sure lying to his face on our first date is a good way to go forward though.
I agree anyway and once again I fear a different part of my anatomy is doing the talking. "Tonight shouldn't be a problem, can you give me a few hours, I'm at Rose's right now."
"Sure, I'll pick you up at eight thirty. You have my number now so just text your address details and I'll see you then."
We say our goodbyes and I fire off a text to him with my address while I try to quell the butterflies in my stomach with some breathing exercises.
I decide to go straight home instead of heading upstairs to see Rose and Caitlin. I need to get changed and find some way of getting my woo-hoo to behave itself around Edward.
I tell Emmett something came up and rush home to get showered and changed.
I consider taking a Valium, but I don't want to fall into a pattern of dependency. Or I could end up like Karen from Will and Grace, even if I do find her exceptionally funny, her prescription drug use is horrifying. She would certainly understand my dislike towards children though.
An hour and a half later I am dressed, my make-up is done, my hair is styled and the woo-hoo is sufficiently warned against any misbehaviour.
I chose a nice black cocktail dress with diamante straps and a nice flowing skirt that falls to mid thigh. I paired that with my open toed Gucci shoes with the silver heel, my absolute favorite pair and let my hair fall down my back in loose curls.
It's eight pm and I still have thirty minutes until Edward is due to arrive. I decide to put a quick call into Rose as I didn't see her earlier. I fill her in on my date tonight and Edward's phone call and I also tell her about the fact his child is a patient. My least favourite one. Once she has stopped laughing she asks me how the hell, I of all people am going to deal with this. I tell her I'll let her know as soon as I do.
By the time Rose and I wrap up our conversation it's almost eight thirty. Those damn butterflies have returned in full force and I am starting to reconsider the taking a Valium thing.
I like Edward and I want to go on this date, I just can't believe he's a father and I really can't believe he spawned the anti-Christ. I can only assume he is yet to spot the 666 I'm sure is located somewhere on Sam's body.
A knock at the door echoes around my apartment. I take a deep breath and walk determinedly to answer it.
Edward is standing in my door way and holy God, have mercy on my uterus, he's wearing a suit. It's charcoal and his shirt is white. He's left the first two buttons undone giving me a peek at his manly chest hair.
I suddenly become unbearably nervous. Mostly because I know all hope of controlling the woo-hoo is shot to complete shit.
"Bella, you look sensational," Edward breathes with hungry eyes raking over body.
I flush and clench. An action I am sure will be repeated throughout the evening.
"You look very nice too, Edward. Shall we head out?" I ask.
"Of course." He smiles.
I lock up and we walk to the elevator and out of my apartment building. The sexual tension was so thick in the elevator I was clenched the entire time. I'm sure my thigh muscles will be quite sore tomorrow morning if this continues.
Edward is taking me to a restaurant in Central Park south. The Park Room to be exact. I'm impressed by his choice. I know it made quite a few fine dining lists in the last year. Edward must have a bit of clout to get a table on such short notice. Especially this close to the Christmas holiday.
We have a drink at the bar once we arrive and wait to be seated. We exchange nervous glances and avoid the subject we both know needs to be addressed. I am also still clenching.
Two lemon martinis later the hostess strides over with the air of a woman on the verge of world domination. I've always said the hostesses in this city hold too much power with their ability to refuse you tables and make you wait for fuck knows how long, for what I am sure is their own entertainment.
She seats us and we are left alone for a short time before a waiter takes our drinks orders and provides us with a menu.
I don't think Edward and I have uttered a sentence between us since we arrived.
Which is ironic considering this date was moved forward in order for us to 'talk'.
Five minutes later Edward exhales and throws his menu down on the table.
"Bella, this is ridiculous. Are we going to talk about this or continue ignoring each other for the rest of the night?" His tone is a little impatient. I'm clenching again, but this time with my teeth.
"Edward, I don't really know what to say. I'm Sam's therapist. There is a definite professional conflict here and I'm not quite sure where that leaves us," I tell him honestly.
He nods his understanding and I take a long sip from my martini glass.
"I could always look for another therapist," he offers. I resist the urge to fist pump the air.
Edward's a fucking genius.
Although it would be entirely unprofessional of me to allow this just so I can date a patient's father.
"That's one option," I agree. Actually it's our only option.
"Then it's settled. I'll arrange for him to start seeing someone else after the holidays. I'll just tell his mother...something." Edward is grinning, clearly delighted with this new development.
I go back to clenching my thighs.
"I expect you'll miss your sessions. It must be hard not to form attachments." I try not to look horrified at Edward's assumption that I am somehow attached to the angry little fraggle he bred.
"I umm, we try to maintain a professional distance," I tell him, not really looking him in the eye.
"Well for what it's worth I think you were helping Sam." Really?
Parents often form a habit of seeing what they want to see with their children. I think Edward is one such parent.
"Well as long as your happy for him to see someone else I'm happy to make a recommendation." I'm really hoping this is the end of this conversation and we can move on to better things.
Thankfully it is.
Edward and I spend the rest of the time talking about where we grew up, college and our parents.
He is doing an excellent job of avoiding the ex-wife subject and I am doing just as well avoiding the whole I like you, but I don't like your kids topic.
Edward and I click in every other way and he is completely charming, polite and he makes me clench like a bitch in heat.
If I was the breeding type he would most definitely be a candidate for father.
By the end of our date when Edward has walked me to my front door I am certain I want to see him again.
"I had a lovely time with you, Edward," I tell him.
I'm leaning against my door and he's standing in front of me with his hands in his pocket.
"Me too, I would love to take you out again, if that's alright with you of course?" he asks.
The nervous Edward is back and I want to run my hand across his forehead to soothe him.
The woo-ho has clearly taken command once again.
The silence is very loud between us as we stand here waiting for ...I don't know what. I want him to kiss me or leave before I jump him and risk the invasion of my uterus.
"Well okay, I'll call you tomorrow to arrange something for the New Year," he eventually says.
"That would be great." I smile.
Edward rubs his hand across the back of his head and looks down the hallway towards the elevator like he knows he should be leaving now.
"Edward, is there something bothering you?" I ask him.
He looks back to me, his eyes dropping to my lips.
"Actually I was wondering if umm, you would mind terribly if I was to kiss you?" Sigh. He's so polite.
I nod and he leans in till the tip of his nose is touching mine. I'm clenching for dear fucking life.
His lips brush mine tenderly. He places three gentle chaste kisses to my lips before pulling away.
The kisses are soft and perfect for a first date. My woo –hoo however would have preferred a good old fashioned round of tonsil tennis.
"Good night, Bella," he says pulling his hand from the back of my neck and stepping away.
His eyes look a little glazed and I suspect mine are the same.
"Good night, Edward."
He turns and walks away. I watch him, and my stomach leaps when he looks back at me not once, not twice, but three times before disappearing into the elevator.
Once I'm in my apartment I throw myself on my couch, put a pillow over my face and scream.
I am in big trouble.
I like this man a lot. Too much.
There is only one solution here. I must make a list.
I grab a pen and paper and write the following things.
Do not tell Edward you hate kids.
Do not tell Edward you hate his kid.
Do not have sex with Edward.
Before I have sex with Edward take all necessary precautions.
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