Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor do I own any of its characters, ideas, accessories, and action figures. If I did own FFVII, all of my OTPs would be canon by Dirge of Cerberus (time-skips and all make that feasible). I do own the plot of this story and any characters of mine that decide to show their shiny faces, which is pretty likely since Tifa can't beat up Barret and Cid every chapter.
Disclaimer #2 (This is the last time this will be listed): This will be a multi-chapter fic, with past-centric chapters thrown in with what's going on in the present. It should be on the shorter side, with fifteen or so chapters. It will contain action, romance, humor (I think I'm hilarious), and some adventure.
A/N: Many, MANY thanks to the golden children that put this story to their "alerts," and to the lovelies that reviewed. It absolutely warms my heart that some want to know when I update. This leads in to an early apology to those, and any others that alert/fav/review later on – I'm a college student who is in their BUSIEST SEMESTER OF THE YEAR. If you receive a chapter from me, either I'm procrastinating from homework or I dropped out of college from stress. Kindly include in a review your thoughts of the story so far and why I'm not getting my stuff together like a normal, responsible adult. Please and thank you. Now, on to the show!
Love Punch
Chapter Two: The Wrath of the Barmaid (Or, Inanimate Objects Have Feelings, Too)
The state of the basement was easily more chaotic than the trio (Vincent was upstairs until actually needed) had actually anticipated. After clicking on the flickering lights and taking the dusty, creaky stairs down to the depths, Tifa expected to see her shipment crates, wine racks, and some cleaning supplies. But, the entire space, at least the same size of the bar upstairs, was full of junk. Quite literally, it seemed that everything Cloud no longer wanted to look at in his work garage ended up in the multiple boxes towering in the space. No wonder Cloud was so adamant to get her stuff from the basement. Clearly this had been going on for a while… And when Tifa glared the ungodliness upon Cloud, he was quick to pull something from a pile of boxes that was not just his.
"Does this even look like it would belong to me?" He hauled up a crate full of magazines, each describing the mechanics of rockets, cars, airships, and, strangely, high powered washing machines.
"Highwind," Tifa's voice burned with irritation.
Toward the farthest wall ahead, through the maze of boxes, Yuffie went head first into another section of the stuff, pulling up scrap metal, gun parts, and proto-types of whatever Barret was working on for his arm. A grappling hook? Really? "I can't believe you guys left all this junk down here!" Yuffie's hands went directly to an open cardboard box and she pulled the wonderful, adorable white sailor suit from their misadventures years before. She snickered with delight, giving herself blackmail to bug Barret with later. She missed pushing those big ol' buttons of his. However, at the same time, Tifa reached into a box hand level and pulled out Yuffie's old battle armor. That was the last straw on Tifa's patience.
"Cloud, Yuffie," the two froze, spinning their heads to look at the fist clenched, head down barmaid standing in the middle of the space. "Call them all. NOW!"
Cloud was out of there before she even completed that sentence. He knew better than that. Yuffie tried her luck, though. When the ninja tried to reason with the boiling woman, a piercing look of fury matching Vincent's death glare burned right through her eyes, brain, and out the other end of her skull. Yuffie hadn't run up a set of stairs like that since her ridiculous escapades in the Nibelheim's mansion basement.
Apparently, Cid Highwind and Nanaki were already on their way. Barret called earlier in the week for a 'ya-snooze-ya-lose' get together over cards and drinks. Cid, completely against the idea of Barret being better than him in any way, was totally up for the grouping. The only reason why Nanaki was along for the ride was purely out of whim of his wonderful friendship. Their beastly friend had business to attend to within Edge with Reeve, so it really worked out for all of them. The point of all this, though, is not to talk about the great card game they were going to have or all the data Nanaki was going to take back to Canyon. It clearly became a much different story as soon as the two walked through the door. Cid sauntered into the bar with a case of Rocket Brew in one hand and a pack of cigarettes, ready to be used when the one hanging from his lips was already crumbling to ash. He grumbled something loudly and obnoxiously to Nanaki when he heard the door swing open and closed again, but was surprised to hear it immediately lock. The pilot spun around to see Tifa standing behind him instead. Nanaki had pattered by quickly after feeling the emotion in the air. Clearly he could get away faster than the older pilot.
"Errr…" the dead cigarette almost slipped from his lips when she took a step forward. "Howdy, Tifa. Good to see ya again…" She took another step forward and glared, folding her arms across her bosom with something in her right hand. She neared him again. He took another step back. Playing dumb, and undoubtedly out of the loop here, he laughed awkwardly. "Whatcha got there, Teef? Somethin' you want me to take a gander at?"
Instead of the verbal pounding she gave Cloud and Yuffie, Tifa shoved a magazine about high powered, futuristic washing machines into his hands, snagging the case of beer and his pack of cigarettes in return. His eyes went directly down, looking at the old, faded paper with much confusion. Outdated, old, it should have obviously been in the trash… Oh, shit. It took a moment of silent thought and the break in the silence to realize what was going on. He was in massive trouble.
Pzzzzt…. Click… glug glug glug… Pzzzzzzt… Click… glug glug glug…
Before Cid realized what she was doing, the martial artist stood over the large, silver sink, opening each aluminum can of Rocket Brew, emptying their contents right down the black hole of a drain. The dark ale swirled down and made a satisfying gurgle, letting everyone in the room know that it was gone forever. He spun around just in time to see the second can completely drain and his cigarettes go down the garbage disposal with a horrifying shred of the switch.
"Whoa WHOA WHOA, TIFA! #%&! THAT'S QUALITY BEER! AND CIGERETTES!" He shouted over the loud, metallic hum of the garbage disposal brutally shredding the only pack of cigarettes he brought with him. It was like he was listening to their sad screams against the blades. The magazine went up in the air and the man swiftly crossed the room and cut right over the bar in a quick leap. He landed next to her and pulled the remaining cans from the counter and held them right above his head. No saving his cigarettes, though. The smell of their tobacco blood would haunt him for the rest of his life. "What in the world has gotten in to you, woman?! What the hell is going on?!" She gave him a side-eyed glare, emptying the third can she had in her hands before letting it simply clatter with the others at the bottom of the sink.
"She's angry about the things you stored in her basement."
Again, Cid was awkwardly surprised by another unsettling noise behind him; instead of the lock, it was a recognizable deep voice. He turned to see Vincent Valentine standing in the opening to the stairs, staring at him with no emotion. It's too hard to tell when the man can't ditch the cape.
"She has Cloud, Barret, and Yuffie already taking stuff out to the alley. I suggest you take what you find of value before it goes out with the trash tomorrow."
In a flash of red, he was gone as quickly as he came. When he looked back to Tifa, she was smiling smugly, working on cleaning up the mess she made with beer and cans. She didn't look at him or say a single word until dinner time.
Yuffie smeared her grease hands on the back of Cid's jacket and laughed nervously when he awkwardly tried to turn around with a look of death. She dashed out of the alley and back inside before he could even snatch her. "Stupid, damn, brat," he grumbled, pulling off the article of clothing to assess the damage. To his surprise, it was hardly noticeable compared to the rest of grease stains that found their way to his favorite jacket. He shrugged and tugged it back on.
Cloud pushed the screen door open with a boot forward and let it swing with a crack behind him. "Here's the last of it," he chimed with satisfaction, setting down the boxes he had in his arms and leaning back to take a much needed stretch. "Looks like a much of cables and speakers… Reeve's scraps for the cat?" Next to him, Vincent peered down at the box and shrugged.
Though it wasn't much, Vincent, too, was to blame for the ridiculous monstrosity left in his companion's basement. He held a small box full of useless ammunition and a squirt gun Yuffie got him as a gag gift last year. He swore the things were in his home, but there was no arguing with the evidence in his arm. The only way this stuff would have ended up in the basement is if someone else put it there – thus, Vincent was still not to blame for any of this. That was actually pleasant for him to realize, but there was no way he was going to show it.
"Everyone can organize their stuff after dinner." Barret, Vincent, and Cid all looked up at him and gave their own collection of nods to Cloud. He smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "I'm surprised Tifa is even letting us eat in the house, too."
With that, Cid shrugged and flicked a bit of ash off his cigarette. He found an old stash among the stuff that buried itself in Tifa's basement. "How'd she even find out about all this? We were so good hidin' it…"
Over baked chicken and mashed potatoes, Cid quickly slammed his drink down and leaned forward, astonished. "You want to open a what?" It was almost like Cloud wasn't speaking the same language as everyone in the room. That everyone included Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Vincent, Barret, Marlene, Denzel, Cid, and Nanaki. Aside from their beast friend, who took a place under the table, they sat at each side of the table with Barrett at the head. To the big man's right was Cid, who was already regretting drawing the short straw to sit on the 'kids' side.' He spent most of the meal bumping elbows with Yuffie, who was showing Marlene and Denzel how to make a volcano with the potatoes. Vincent and Tifa watched the scene uneasy across from them. Cloud sat to Barret's left, which allowed the conversation to be comfortably at that end of the table. Tifa was already done hearing about that whole situation, and focused more on making sure Yuffie didn't get gravy on the table, or herself, or on Cid, but the latter was inevitable. All that was missing, who promised to come, was Reeve. The man said something about showing later that night after the usual paperwork. And they all prayed, even Vincent, that Reno didn't show up when the President mentioned the Turks would accompany him.
"A fighting club, I guess. I'm still working on the name, but," Cloud said, wiping his lips with a napkin. A hilarious giggle came from Marlene as Yuffie's creation piled over, which added to Cloud's nervous smile. "I've had too much energy lately. I need to clear my head and I can't imagine that I'm the only one here… And besides, we can earn some extra cash, more revenue in the bar, and maybe even more practice under our belts." At the words revenue, Tifa pulled her eyes from the chaos of potatoes and gravy all over the good tablecloth and looked at Cloud next to her.
"We're going to charge people, too? You know we're not living in the most income steady neighborhood in Edge…" More than that, she wanted nothing to do with people beating each other up for profits of the bar. She made an uneasy face.
Cloud looked back at her with a determined smile. He even took her hand and squeezed it with reassurance. "Think about it, though, Teef. We don't just have to think about this neighborhood. We can market all over town! In other cities, too! You can't help but wonder how business will be if there's something else to bring in a crowd?"
She shrugged. "We get tons of business karaoke nights…" Even Denzel didn't believe that, who scoffed and made a sour noise. Tifa eyed him like he said something incriminating, especially since he was supposed to be in bed at those times. The teenager looked away quickly. Tifa sighed, almost like she was defeated. "Oh, who am I kidding? No one comes in for that." She turned back to Cloud. "Fine, but we can't charge them too much –"
"Right! Because we're getting a cut of the bets, too!" Yuffie had leaned forward with a fork defiantly in the air. At the end of it, a fearful piece of broccoli waiting for its dangerous demise.
Cloud shot her a look. "What? No! You're not getting a cut. This is Seventh Heaven's project, not yours." Even Tifa shot her a look, which surprised even herself.
Yuffie shoved the poor vegetable and didn't bother to clear her mouth before spewing words at the man. She poked her fork in the air rudely at him. "Last time I checked, you weren't even sure in this whole stupid club thing! We all know you called me because you needed a business partner. Don't think you can –" she quickly swallowed the mush in her cheeks and continued without missing a beat, "weasel your way out of this one, Spikes!"
This time, Tifa turned back to Cloud with the same look she gave Yuffie. In fact, everyone but Marlene and Vincent were looking at Cloud. Nanaki peered at him from the edge of the table. It was silent for longer than anticipated and Cloud had to break it. He cleared his throat and merely nodded. "Okay, okay. We can discuss your 'cut' later." When Barret and Cid continued to stare at him with assuming glares, he shook his head at them. "No way! Don't act like this was your idea, too!" He was starting to regret telling anyone he wanted to do this in the first place.
Hours later, it was another round of clean up. After the potatoes incident, it was fair that Yuffie shouldn't be allowed around dishwater and glassware, either. As punishment for the basement incident, though, Yuffie was tasked of sweeping and cleaning the basement instead. There were not enough moans and groans that would make Tifa change her mind about that. When Cloud was done with all the dishes, he reentered the bar and took a seat with the remainder of the crew. They were spread out around the space, but close enough to be addressed by the blond man. Yuffie was still singing off-key in the basement, pretending the broom was a skinny dance partner, and Tifa was upstairs struggling to keep the kids in their beds.
After getting settled, Cloud spoke up. "So, I was thinking it can play out like this… We'll advertise around town about this huge event here. Talk it up, mention our AVALANCHE status, get some buzz; challenge a hero of the Planet…" Cid shook his head. "Too much?"
"Nah, it ain't that." The pilot's eyebrow rose, still looking skeptical. "I just don't see how this is gunna work out… jus' to get this straight. We're lookin' for people to fight you? I thought this was a fighting club, not a 'let's have Cloud beat on brave teenagers with fake IDs' club."
Barret leaned over the table to catch Cid's attention. "Cloud wants to go a round or two, but I think the idea was opening up a schedule to let anyone duke it out. Right?"
Cid nodded to that, getting it a little, but looked back to Cloud for another confirmation. "And are they bettin' against each other or are these people watchin' betting, too?"
Cloud shrugged, "Both, I suppose. If a fighter wants to bet on themselves, I don't see why not."
Cid leaned back to that and nodded with the final confirmation to all his questions. "Huh. Alright, then. And when do you want to start?"
"As soon as possible."
"Riiiight, okay." Cid crossed his arms across his chest and shrugged. "I guess I can hang out for a few days to see how this plays out…"
To that, Cloud grinned. The more people to help out, the better. If he was going to make this work, he couldn't just rely on Yuffie's big mouth. Cid, on the other hand, still couldn't figure out why he was so excited about this, but he wasn't going to question it anymore. Barret seemed about as excited as Cloud did about it, which was another plus for the hero. Vincent was still emotionless, sitting in a booth to Cid's left, but that was typical. At least he was looking in the direction of the conversation this time. Other than that, Nanaki was actually napping by the fireplace behind him. The beast had no interest in these silly plans Cloud pondered aloud.
Well, there you have it. Really just a filler chapter to introduce characters. Turks and Reeve next chapter, as well as advertising woes and the first fight. I'm getting a nice Turk vs AVALANCHE fight, but I don't know who yet. You'll have to wait to see.
Again, sorry for the long delay. I have another long weekend break to collect my thoughts.
Please review. Those are my lifeblood here.
