物語第二回「急に起きる」

Chapter 2: Sudden Awakening

"The night is yours alone … Don't let yourself go, because everybody cries, and everybody hurts…"

-R.E.M., Everybody Hurts


言葉の説明:無し (No Japanese words to explain in this chapter)


The tranquil night sky twinkled with clusters of shimmying stars, like speckles of silver glitter carelessly sprinkled onto a deep indigo tablecloth. Yoh looked down into the placid lake, its glassy surface rippling gently with the almost imperceptible breeze, and saw, just above the guardrail, a pensive face staring right back into his. To the right was the reflection of Anna's austere yet stunning face; unlike his obviously uneasy expression, hers concealed masterfully any trace of emotion.

The reflections grew choppy and Yoh and Anna's facial expressions could no longer be discerned upon the wavy water's surface. Though he was bundled up in the thick orange warmth of his jumpsuit, the gust of winter wind snuck in through its seams and he gave an involuntary shiver. He chanced a glance at Anna, whose arms were crossed as usual upon the guardrail. In this wind, she couldn't possibly be comfortable with just that black dress on, he thought. Sure enough, she began rubbing her hands up and down her upper arms in an attempt to ward off the cold.

"Anna," Yoh managed to intone with his suddenly dry throat. He said nothing further, but he removed his jacket and, with a second shiver that had nothing to do with the sudden onrush of chilly air, draped it across Anna's shoulders. His palms were only upon her shoulders for the briefest instant, but even once he had pulled them away—mostly out of fear of her reaction—they stung with an intense heat.

She uncrossed her arms and gave Yoh an open-mouthed blank stare for just a second, then regained her composure and sat down on a nearby park bench. Still not quite knowing what to expect, he followed her, but did not seat himself.

"I'm…still cold, Yoh," she informed him, but something in her voice differentiated it from the usual plaintive complaint. Yoh, taken aback, nodded vaguely and, without hesitating, scrounged his pockets for whatever coins were still left from the grocery shopping. The cold was assaulting the jacketless Yoh with full force now. He shakily sidled to the lakeside vending machine, slid a few coins in with trembling fingers, and soon a can of hot chocolate was in his hands. It steamed in his hands, but Yoh liked the blistering heat of Anna's shoulders much more…

He looked up from his proffered hot chocolate into a pair of familiar eyes, stretched wider than they had ever been before. She caught herself, retracting her eyelids to their usual impassive state, and accepted the can. "It's so warm," she sighed, and Yoh definitely heard the foreign, delicate quality to her voice that time. Then, he watched in astonishment as Anna caressed the can with both hands, closed her eyes, and pressed it to her chest.

Yoh scarcely believed his eyes. He didn't really sit down on the bench so much as he collapsed upon it. Anna popped the can open with a satisfying crack and a plume of steam billowed out of the top. She raised it to her lips, but paused, and looked over at Yoh, in just a thin T-shirt now. "Yoh…maybe…would you like a sip?"

"Huh?" Yoh blinked, wondering if Anna had been replaced by a stunt double when he had left to buy the hot chocolate. But Anna, as usual, wouldn't accept anything less than an absolute yes, so she grasped the back of Yoh's neck with her free hand and tipped the contents of the can into his mouth with the other.

Eventually the can parted from Yoh's lips, but he still sat there motionless, mouth ajar, head and neck still in an unnatural position even in the absence of Anna's hand. Fortunately for her, he was too stunned by the last turn of events to notice that she was blushing quite prominently. "Either we're both cold, or we're both comfortable. I can't let you…Let's be warm together, Yoh."

He didn't quite know what to make of Anna's words, so he just sat there beside Anna, grinning stupidly. He scooted over a bit and, once he realized Anna wasn't going to push him off the bench as a result, even dared to rest his hand upon the bench behind Anna's head. He considered moving that hand forward slightly to grasp the nape of Anna's neck the way she just had his. With a sidelong glance at his fiancée, he gathered from her tranquil expression—gazing downwards into the can within her loosely cupped hands—that she was, dare he even think it, happy…Then his eyes shifted to his hand, still antsy on the back of the park bench, connected to a quivering arm dotted with goose bumps that surely weren't due only to the cold weather. A moment later he noticed the hand had slid forward and was stroking the back of Anna's neck. She gave a soft gasp and turned to Yoh again, wide-eyed like when she had received the hot chocolate.

Yoh leaned across the bench until he was close enough to her face to feel the warmth radiating from her cheeks.

"Let's be warm together, Anna." And Yoh puckered his lips and reached out with his other hand now, so thoroughly immersed in the moment that his fear and nervousness were forced to recede…

"AHHHHHH!"

"Oh God, Anna, I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't have…I…I…"

Sometime in the midst of his apologetic blubbering and frantic gesticulating, his eyes grew accustomed to the sudden brightness of morning. More significantly, in the newfound light he realized it wasn't an angry or vengeful face he was now staring at from a very intimate distance—in fact, he now saw, it wasn't Anna's face at all.

The face drew back from the uncomfortably intimate proximity to Yoh and asked, utterly bewildered, "Yoh…where do I begin? I would like to know why, in the name of the Great Spirit, you were just sleeping on a park bench. It also occurs to me that you're soaking wet, and I'm sure there's an enrapturing story behind that. But most pressingly, Yoh, why in the hell did you just try to kiss me?!"

Once the question had been put to him, it was his turn to feel completely confused. So I'm in the park after all, but it's not nighttime, and I was that close to finally kissing Anna. Was…was I dreaming? No, it can't be, I'm here in the park, certainly…but then, why am I soaking wet? And why did I just…try to kiss…Ren?

Blinking hard, Yoh stood up on his aching legs, stretched, and blinked again. The light played differently upon his face now that he was standing, and Ren did a double-take. His eye sockets, saddled with heavy, dark bags, appeared sunken and hollow. His cheeks were sallow and drooping. If Ren were to venture a guess, it almost looked like Yoh had spent the better part of last night crying…

"Are you…all right, Yoh?" Ren's usually stern expression softened noticeably and he took a tentative step toward Yoh, closing the gap between them again. "You…must be freezing in those damp clothes. Here, why don't you have a sip of my hot chocolate?"

Ren's extended hand shattered any remaining confusion in Yoh's mind. He saw, for a fleeting instant, that moment in time so many months ago when it really had been Anna, then saw, for a blink of an eye, the same scene in his dream, for he knew now it had been a dream. Then he recalled, just a few hours before, tearing through the night, his indiscriminate footfalls and tears obliterated by the driving downpour, and realized that, in his running from Anna he had unwittingly returned to the very park bench where they had once been closer than ever.

Though sympathetic to Yoh's haggard face, Ren felt absurd holding out the can of hot chocolate, especially since it appeared to cause Yoh such grief. "Uh, maybe you'd rather have coffee?"

In response to this offer, Yoh resumed his seat and buried his face in his hands. From between his eerily white fingers drifted his voice. "Oh, man, Ren…you really shouldn't see me like this."

"Yoh, if you'll pardon the expression, everybody hurts. If you'll pardon me saying, you look like you could use a warm meal and a hot shower. Am I right?"

Such hospitality normally being unheard of from Ren, Yoh might have realized such an offer as nothing short of miraculous, but he was too morose to notice. He remained on the bench, his face still cupped within his hands.

"Yoh." There was a slight pause, and were Yoh's eyes not covered then, he would have seen Ren steeling himself for what he was about to do. Then he felt a firm grip upon both of his wrists pulling his hands away from his face. "Damn it, I don't know what you did last night. I'm not going to probe if you don't want to tell me. But I do know I'm not going to let you sit here alone all morning, soaking wet and depressed."

At this Yoh simply nodded his head almost imperceptibly.

"Let's find us some breakfast. My treat." Ren winked. "And I want to make sure you don't catch pneumonia and die, so I'm going to personally walk with you back to your place. Sound good?"

"No."

Ren gave an indignant sigh. "Why—"

"Because," Yoh said simply, almost weakly, yet in a way that left no room for argument or even doubt, "I left Anna last night."

Dead silence. Even the birds heralding the dewy morning seemed to momentarily cease their chirping. The dull clunk of a half-full can of hot chocolate smacking the concrete path went unnoticed by Ren, who looked thunderstruck. All he could manage was, in a voice so small Yoh questioned whether Ren actually asked it, "Why?"

"I…oh God, I wish I knew."

For a moment, Yoh looked on the verge of another breakdown. His posture slumped over a few degrees and his figure trembled, but he turned his back to Ren, clenched his eyes shut as tightly as his fists, forced the oncoming tears to recede, and exhaled explosively. He took a final glance behind him, toward the park bench and the pond, seeing Ren in the periphery still looking stunned. If he squinted between the trees and toward the promontory of Funbari Hill he could almost see the En Inn…

Sigh.

"Fuck it. Let's find some breakfast."

Yoh snapped his head forward again and took a tentative step, followed by a more confident one. Ren, still looking very awkward, followed him with trepidation, even though he had been the one to offer breakfast. He stooped over to retrieve his spilled can of hot chocolate. It had sustained several dents from its fall and the black can now almost resembled a female figure. He gazed intently at it, as though it were a soothsayer's crystal ball, and finally realized it was just a bothersome piece of trash.

"Fuck it," Ren echoed, hurling the can into a nearby trash receptacle. "Let's find some breakfast."

続くTo be continued

次回:「浄化」Next chapter: "Catharsis"


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