This is an RP between me and my good friend LiteShocker over on deviantART where she will also be posting this story, once it's up there I'll post a link to it.

Fair Warning: This piece does contain ZaDr, but it's not necessarily as romantic as the pairing name implies, there is also no Mpreg or lemons.

Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to it's creator Jhonen Vasquez; we make no profit from this work of fiction.


A Modification of the Mind

Pathos is emotion and Logos is logic, one can not exist without the other and one can not rule over the other. It is with Pathos we find our passion, our reason, our purpose. It is with Logos that we execute that passion, that reason, that purpose. To reach full potential we must allow both to exist in our minds as one, we must bypass the circuits that takes Pathos to the heart and connect them to the mind where Logos resides.

Chapter Two

Zim stirred groggy and confused as to what had happened (he knew where he was- he came here all the time. It was his own personal escape) he lifted himself up and his squeedilyspooch dropped in disappointment as he realized he was alone. He remembered seeing slick black hair, and faintly, the smell of candles and human drinks that he knew well enough that if too much in their stupid bodies- caused them to act 'intoxicated.'

He slid the tips of his claws over a thin, smooth surface of exposed sickly green skin, it went from deep emerald to a pasty shade. "Everything...hurts..." he thought aloud, rubbing his temples and lying down once again- looking up at the stars and imagining that he was back home. With his own kind, eating the food he grew up loving and surrounded by things that comforted him. He found no comfort here. Not on Earth. Especially not with that Dib-thing always in the way of his chances to finally be...one of them. Recognized, loved by all.

Plans. Schemes. Those were all he ever thought about up until recently, when suddenly...The Dib-monkey was all he thought about.

Soft porcelain skin, beaming gold eyes, and the way he would give off a rare half-smile... If he had a heart, it would be melting every time he saw him.

Wait.

No.

No! This wasn't right! This wasn't part of the plan!

He was supposed to be emotionless only feeling pride for the Irken Empire and a blood lust that allowed him to be willing to tear anyone who got in his way limb from limb! Not have these sicky feelings that he was always told only humans should have! Only one thing could be causing this, but it couldn't be possible. There no way he could be a defect.

He just couldn't be...defects were frowned upon; killed. He wasn't a defect or he wouldn't have been chosen to be an invader.

The results! He had to get to them, he needed to see what had registered on his PAK. There was no possible way he was a defect. As he scrambled to get out of bed and stand his entire body erupted in pain and white spots flashed in his vision. His world flipped and he found himself collapsing once more, another string of Irken curses falling from his lips loud enough to carry through the base. Dib jumped at the break of silence, Gir had fallen quiet some time ago, too engrossed in a bacon cheddar smoothie. Which had to mean that Zim was awake, he rushed to the room hoping to catch the Irken before he did anything stupid. Which upon reaching the room he found he was too late.

"For the love of…"Dib didn't finish, going to Zim on instinct. He reached out to help the smaller male back to bed , just barely brushing the Irken's arm with his fingertips when Zim lashed out at him violently scratching himself in the process, a translucent pink liquid starting to ooze from the wounds and seep into Zim's uniform.

"Don't touch me!" Zim was doubled over now, shaking. There was no way he was going to let Dib get any closer to him.

"I'm trying to help you, goddammit!" Dib exclaimed making another move catching the invader's sleeve, accidentally tearing the thin salmon-colored fabric.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" the alien screamed, toppling from Dib's arms, to the floor in half a second. "Stop... Stop everything. I don't need a human's help. Especially yours." He pointed a shaky claw weakly at the taller boy's chest. It slammed to the ground, and ruby eyes could only stare blankly at the buckles and spikes on Dib's tall boots. They went about to his knees, which by the way looked ready to meet ends with the blue mist.

"I need medicine," Zim suddenly spoke after what seemed like years of awkward silence. "I can get it myself."

Wobbling, he was already tired. "And the PAK results... GIR! Bring me the results!" His throat began to scratch, sore and raw.

The SIR unit appeared eyes glowing red giving a 'Yes, Master!' before disappearing and leaving the two boys alone once more.

"What's going on Zim? And why the hell won't you let me help you?" Dib swallowed thickly his voice wavering ever so slightly as he continued to lose his composure. He had to have entered a Twilight Zone or something; seeing Zim look so broken and defeated affecting him in ways it shouldn't affect him.

"I- I don't know." The Irken finally spoke after a few moments of silence. "I don't know what's going on, not yet." It wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't quite the truth. He was defecting, if he hadn't been one before and his body was showing signs of deterioration. "And why do you even want to help me?"

Defecting... This couldn't be happening. It wasn't real.
He wanted to vomit and bleed and pound his fists into the core of this terrible planet that caused him so much pain. And yet... along the pages of wavering lines he saw something he couldn't quite describe. Something different.

"I want to help you... because...because..." Dib knew why. He knew his motives and the motives behind those motives. Dib was in love with his enemy. Deeply, insanely in love, but Dib could never reveal that.

"Answer me you inferior worm child." Zim's sudden harsh tone startled him and he felt his throat go dry, when had Zim pulled his shirt off? As the blood trickled down Zim's now bare chest he wondered what else he could do. What else he could see... Aching to press his lips against broken flesh and dig his fingernails into Zim's back as he squirmed under him, hot breath hitting his face. He was quick to shake those thoughts instead approaching Zim in a different manner.

"Don't be angry at me... You're too angry all the time." His voice was calm and soothing and he knew he had surprised Zim, whose antenna were sticking straight up in surprise even if his face was still set stone cold. "I don't... I don't know why I want to help you, Zim. But something tells me I should."

"You humans and your corn-brains are so confusing."

"Please Zim, just let me help you, my victory over you won't mean anything thing if I don't get a real fight out of you." It was a thin excuse; he couldn't imagine ever fighting the Irken again, not after seeing him like this. Besides he could see that Zim was still weak from, whatever had happened.

"Fine." Zim was growing too weak to argue his thoughts getting cloudy and the taste of blood was on his tongue. Even as he swayed unsteady on his feet he tried not to flinch as Dib helped him to sit on the bed without falling. "Computer, give Dib access to the medical wing."

"Access to medical wing has been given to Dib Membrane." the smooth tones of the computer filled the room.

"Go to the Lab, there should be a door open on the left of the computer, once you're there head straight back to the far wall. There will be a shelf full of bottles filled with pink liquid, grab one you can and get your ass back here." A round of coughs tore through Zim's small frame. "I still don't trust you."

Dib nodded, heart in his throat as he rushed to follow Zim's orders. He just hoped that the Irken would be fine alone until he got back.

Zim watched the tail end of Dib's trench coat flutter as he ran out the door his eyes growing heavy. Maybe he should rest a bit, conserve energy, before he knew it his vision went black.

"Zim?"

Zim's eyes shot open.

"Eh?"

"I brought you your...medicine..." It didn't quite look like medicine. It was gooey and thick and watery at the top.
Zim took it from him slowly, raising an antenna in question. His expression clearly saying don't-you-dare-try-anything-with-me. He smelled it, before gingerly taking it into the palms of his hands and raising it to his lips. Dib watched it slide down his throat and averted himself in disgust.

A crackling sound was made present, and Zim threw the now empty it to the ground and wiped his mouth grudgingly, before slamming his body against the bed to relax, once more he heard the door close. Dib had left.

The alien looked over at the large mirror he had on the wall behind him. It was mostly for decoration purposes... But... As he looked closer he realized his eyes were no longer tired-looking and as he examined his torso, the tips of his fingers grazing along it. It was...defined. Muscled. Zim whipped his head around when he began hearing voices from afar. Very afar.

He never recalled being able to hear this sharp.

It was Dib's voice.

He was talking to Gir.

"And then Master told me all this stuff about how he sometimes wants to hold your little fleshy hands!" the robot chirped happily, allowing Dib to know every. single. thing the weak, affectionate side of him stirred up into a conversation he'd only ever had with Gir. Rambling absentminded while he worked on new inventions.

A growl sounded low in his throat, he should have destroyed that SIR unit years ago. He stood, surprised to find that he was several inches taller, not quite on par with Dib, but close to being taller than the Tallest even if he took his platform boots off.

"Gir!" Several seconds passed and the little robot showed no signs of arriving any time soon. "Never mind, my strength is back. I might as well go the Lab myself and get those results." He looked at his bare torso and then the torn shirt in disgust; he couldn't believe that he had actually accepted help from the big-headed human.

Dib had heard Zim's call, but he had gotten stopped by the SIR unit, taken back by what it was telling him. Did Zim actually have feelings towards him? Did the alien actually have a heart or was it his squeedilyspooch or whatever? He pushed the small robot aside and hurried to Zim's room not sure what he was even thinking.

"Zim—" the words died in his throat, eyes running over the Irken's lean bare torso, taking in every dip and pull of muscle underneath flawless green skin.

"Dib-shit! Stop looking at ZIM! He demands it!"

The raven haired boy could feel his cheeks heating up, eyes staring silently- examining what was before him. In all these years Dib couldn't remember a time where the alien looked more built than he was. Then again, he was never built much at all.

Just then, a sly grin tugged at his enemy's lips, revealing malevolent teeth and he wrapped his hands around Dib's waist, sinking his claws into his backside. Head perked up slightly, and a whisper against his anxious rival's ear, "Or did you come here to marvel? To bask in the greatness that is ZIM!"

Black tips contrasted with the blue of Dib's shirt as it snaked up his torso. "Fight me," he simply said after a few moments. His tone was innocent and it was like he was asking for ice cream rather than a few dropkicks to the stomach. "Did you not come here to fight Zim, after all?" His head cocked to the side, the depth of his eyes deeper than any human's as they widened in curiosity.

"Of course it'll be sad to see you in a puddle of your own blood...Ahaha! Not really. Zim jests."
Gloveless hands rested on his hips and took a few steps away from the human. "Of course, I think...This battle...Should have something more placed upon it. What do you call it in this language of yours? A 'bet?'"

Dib's keekers snapped open to justify. "What could be much heavier to fight for than your own planet?"

"If you lose...Zim wishes... to possess you."