Selena let out a disgruntled groan as she opened her eyes. Hearing the radio alarm clock next to her nightstand blare out some bubblegum pop music made Selena's faltering state of mind that much worse. These days she didn't even know why she bothered to set her alarm. She had nothing to wake up for anyways.
Slamming her hand against the off button, she rolled to her side. Pulling the covers over her head , she attempted to try and drift back into a deep slumber, where she could dream about times where she wasn't crippled by her own depression.
Just as she felt her body slowly drift back into that state of slumber. She could hear the foot steps of her mother Amanda Gomez, coming towards her room. Another moan escaped her lips when she heard her bedroom door open.
"Sweetie?" She heard her mom call out from the door way to her bedroom. "Maybe it's time to get up."
"Why bother? I'm just gonna go back to sleep."
Her mother let out a sad sigh as she entered her daughters room. She stroked her daughter's back in a soothing manner, wishing that she could ease the former actress's pain.
"Lena, I know this hurts right now. But in time this will pass. Things will get better. I promise you."
"You don't know that." Came the young girl's dejected response. She kept her eyes in front avoiding her mother's pitying gaze.
"Maybe you could, I dunno, take some small steps? Try going outside every now and then."
Selena recoiled from her mothers touch as she shot up from her bed. She glared at her mother as if she was staring at an escape mental patient. Her eyes were livid.
"Outside? Outside? Looking like this?" she motioned to her scarred portion of her face. A curt laugh escaped her lips. "Great idea mom! I haven't scared enough people this year. Hey maybe we can turn me into a circus attraction! Come see Selena Gomez, the girl without a face!"
Cringing at her daughter's lashing tongue and sarcasm, the young mom dropped her head in defeat. Figuring, it was pointless to try and reason with her daughter when she wasn't even in the right state of mind, she rose from the edge of her bed and quietly left her room, still hearing the young girl's berating.
"Hey where are you going? Come on , I wanna hear more about your genius plan!" Selena yelled out in frustration, her anger taking over as she continued to scream long after her mom left the hallway. As soon as she knew that her mother was gone, she lied back down on her soft mattress and proceeded to once again try to drift back to sleep.
After lying in her bed for several minutes, she stared at the window in front of her. In contrast to her gloomy mood, the sun was shining bright on her partly covered window. Despite being in her current bleak state of mind, she still vaguely remembered what it was like to enjoy a nice sunny day.
A part of her wish she could still do that. But that part was buried deep within layers of doubt, anger and self pitying. To her, it might as well be raining like cats and dogs outside. These days she couldn't even tell the difference.
Try as she might, she couldn't get her body relaxed enough to go to back to sleep. With one more frustrated grunt, she threw her bed covers over her body and dragged herself out from her bed. Yeah, she would get up and probably do something around the house.
But she wasn't going to go outside. That was for damn sure.
TV was one of the few pleasures left in Selena's life. Whenever she wasn't depressed or feeling sorry for herself, she would watch whatever was on television in order to take her mind off of whatever bull crap she was dealing with. For at least an hour or two, she could focus on someone else s problems instead of her own. It wasn't a permanent solution, but it was better than nothing.
She watched a lot of Supernatural these days. There was just something about two brothers traveling the open road, fighting demons and monster that she found appealing. She liked the idea that despite the odds stacking up against them, these two brothers managed to overcome insurmountable challenges. All they had was their job, and each other. That was all they needed. They at least had something to live for.
Something she use to have.
She liked Dean the best. Not because he was "hot" (which she would admit...he kinda was) but because, like her, he was broken inside. No amount of liquor or sex could take away the fact that he has more off written issues inside of him than a copy of the national enquirer.
Sure Sam was an abomination, and he had the whole "demon blood" thing working for him. But he wasn't twisted inside like his brother. And dammit she wanted her characters to be just a little fucked up.
As she was about to play the next episode on her DVD, her Winchester Brothers bliss was interrupted by a loud knock at her door.
"Go away" she muttered quietly to herself pressing the play button on her remote, hoping that whoever was at the door would just piss off and leave. Another knock from her door diminished any hope of that. "oh for the love of god." tossing the remote onto the couch, she got up from her seat and walked towards the door.
"Whatever you're trying to sell we don't want anything!" Selena yelled out, hoping that whoever was on her porch would get the idea and leave.
"Uhm, I'm sorry?" The mystery voice called out from the other end of the door. From what Selena could tell, it sounded like a young woman.
"I'm not trying to sell anything. I live across the street from you."
As Selena looked through the peep hole, she saw that her previous assumptions were indeed correct. A brunette that seemed to be about Selena's age was standing at her door wearing dark sunglasses and holding some sort of walking stick.
"What do you want?" came Selena's rude response. The other girl just arched her brow at the slight rudeness of her fellow neighbor.
"I uhm, noticed you moved in recently. And I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood..."
Selena could see that she was making her neighbor pretty uncomfortable by the way she slowly held up the basket of what looked like various baked muffins. "I brought muffins." The neighbor gave an awkward smiling, hope to at least break the ice between them with a peace offering.
She didn't have a lot of compassion these days. In fact what words did come out of her mouth were questionable to say the least. But whatever compassion she did have, it must have kicked in.
After all this person was only trying to be nice to her.
"Look." the young Hispanic began, her voice now considerably softer. "This really isn't a good time. Maybe you can come back when my parents are here?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude...I just wanted to..."
Selena just leaned her head against the door letting another exacerbated moan. What part of come back later did this girl not get? Fixing to give whoever this was a piece of her mind, she opened the door part way, making sure her the scarred portion of her face was still concealed.
"Lady do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV here. You know, television shows? Good ole fashion mind melting entertainment?"
The brunette tilted her head in confusion.
"You know TV, boob tube, the idiot box? What are you blind?" Selena looked at the girl in question with a raised brow, wondering if she was either insane or living under a rock for the past year. The mystery girl just shifted her weight in an uncomfortable manner.
"You could say that."
Before Selena could respond, she took a closer look at the girl in front of her and noticed that she was in fact, visually impaired. Waving her left hand in front of the blind woman's face, she suddenly felt awful about how rude she was.
"Sorry...I didn't know."
"It's OK. Really." The young blind woman smiled back, looking considerably more comfortable than she was earlier.
"Uh do you think you can take these basket of baked goods from my hand? They're getting kinda heavy."
Selena saw that her neighbor's arm was getting rather shaky as she quickly took the basket of treats from her hand. Looking down at the basket, she saw an assortment of baked goods. Each one looking more delectable than the other.
"...I made the chocolate chip oatmeal muffins myself."
Selena looked up at the gift bearer and saw the small smile form on her lips.'probably prided herself in her baking abilities' she thought. Figuring, that she would return the kindness, she took a small bite from one of the muffins. The girl wasn't kidding, they were extremely palatable.
"Pretty good. Not to shabby." Selena nodded in approval, her compliment causing the other girl's grin to widen.
"Well, thank you." Selena replied, unsure of the kind gesture coming from the girl in front of her. Usually in her experience, Kind gestures mean that the other person wants something. She learned that nobody in this world did nice things for the sake of being nice. A mindset she acquired during her golden days as Disney's it girl.
But try as she might, she didn't sense any sort of selfishness from the other person. It was as if she was actually being considerate on her own accord.
That didn't make a lick of sense to her at all.
"You're welcome. I'm Demi by the way. Demi Lovato" the now named "mystery" girl kindly introduced herself, out stretching her arm once again, offering her hand to Selena.
Selena, still cautious about this 'Demi' person just stared at her. She was still confused by the whole situation. Demi was the first person that didn't gasp at her disfigured face. The first person that didn't try to make an impromptu exit in order to keep herself from staring.
Even though she knew it was because of Demi's blindness, still. It had been a while since she saw someone who wasn't horrified by her.
Demi however took the pause from Selena as a rejection of sorts as she let her arm drop to her side. Letting out a sad sigh, the blind girl looked away.
"Well...I hope you enjoy the rest of your muffins." Demi responded sadly as she began to turn away, tapping her white cane on the ground beneath her.
Seeing Demi walk away from her, with that sad look on her face made Selena feel something she hadn't felt in a long time, guilt. Guilt because her selfish action drove away this kind person. This blind girl was nice enough to come over and bring her a basket full of goodies, the least she could do is give her her name.
"Selena. My name's Selena."
That one gesture caused Demi to stop in her tracks and turn her head, and the toothy smile that faded from the girl's lips once again emerged.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Selena. Maybe I'll see you around town?" Demi asked, sounding hopeful.
Selena shrugged and shook her head. "I doubt it. I don't really leave the house that much."
"Well then I guess I'll have to pay you another visit."
As Demi turned around to walk back towards her house, turning back once more to her neighbor she gave one last wave of her hand. "See you around Selena."
A smile crept it's way up to Selena's jaw line. It wasn't a big one, but none the less, she felt a little bit of that armor she built up slowly chip away. It wasn't much but it was definitely a start for her.
And that small miniature sized portion of hope was enough for Selena.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Dallas I'm sure." Demi replied, wondering why Dallas was making such a huge deal about the name of her next door neighbor was. It held no significant importance. It really had no significant importance to her, yet Dallas was acting as if they were talking about the queen of England.
"Selena Gomez" Dallas reiterated once more narrowing her gaze at her sister. "You mean to tell me that our next door neighbor is THE Selena Gomez?"
"I guess you could call her that..." Came Demi's slow response as she picked at her salad. Turning her head towards her sister's voice she shrugged her shoulders in a questioning manner. "Who's Selena Gomez?"
The eldest Lovato sister almost choked on her soda after hearing this question.
"Are you kidding me Demi? Who's Selena Gomez? Christ don't you ever watch television?"
Demi just arched her brow. "Are you forgetting who you're talking to Dallas?" The younger sister let out sardonically. Sometimes she wondered if Dallas actually needed to be reminded of her visually impaired status. As much as she loved her older sister, she had to admit that Dallas puts her foot in her mouth every now and then.
"Oh right, sorry about that." Dallas sheepishly responded before taking another bite from her chicken sandwich. "Well your friend, Selena, is an actress. For Disney to be exact. She had her own show and everything. Dallas paused briefly, looking down at her soda, picking at the small plastic straw.
"Or at least she use to."
"What happened" Demi asked softly, her curiosity getting the best of her.
Dallas's eyes dropped as she remembered the news reports of Selena's accident and how it changed the young Hispanic's life forever. Even though she didn't personally know Selena, she remembered all those magazine articles as well as tabloid reports that talked 24/7. The hurtful comments that were made, and the horrific rumor mill that ranged from her faking being in an accident to having it all staged, she had first hand experiences just how hurtful and cruel rumors can be. It's hard for anyone to handle let alone a girl who was only 18 years old.
"Car accident." Was Dallas's only response as she idly played with the straw in her drink. "Pretty much scarred her for life. Literally. At least that's what the news reports said."
Demi's mood literally dropped after hearing this from her sister. She could only imagine the pain and suffering Selena went through after her accident.
"That's horrible Dal..."
"Yeah well, that's not the worst of it. Disney pretty much terminated her contract after that. They called it a 'conflict of interest' but truth be told, nobody wants an 'Ugly' Disney princess. Not really financially marketable."
Demi could sense the wry tone in Dallas's voice. Her heart went out to her neighbor even more after hearing what she had lost. Even though she never experienced just what Selena had went through, Demi knew first hand just how cruel, unfair and judgmental the world could be.
She had been beaten down to her keens quite a few times herself. And if it wasn't for her family members and true friends, she probably would've just let life continue to push her down. She was grateful for the family that she had as well as the people in her life that encouraged her to go after her dreams.
"That's just so unfair. When she needed love and support the most, they just kick her while she's down? That's so wrong."
"Well Demi, you of all people know just how cruel and unfair this world can be."
Dallas motioned towards Demi's face.
Despite her inability to see, Demi knew what her sister was talking about as she subconsciously touched the edge of her glasses feeling the faded smooth scar tissue that surrounded her sightless eyes. That small patch of distorted skin constantly reminding her of what she had lost all those years ago.
"I know Dallas, I know."
Walking back from the small sandwich shop, Dallas turned her head towards her sister. She always looked out for Demi. Ever since they were little Dallas was someone that always looked over Demi's shoulder like a guardian angel. Even before that horrible night that robbed the younger sister the use of her eyes. Dallas took it upon herself to always be Demi's protector.
She'd never tell her sister this, but she always blamed herself for Demi's accident. IF she had been there for her when Demi needed her the most, maybe the younger sibling would still have her sense of sight. For that Dallas never forgave herself. .
"Just...be careful." Dallas randomly stated.
"Huh?" Demi asked, wondering what her sister was talking about now.
"With Selena...be careful with her OK? I mean you don't know what kind of person she is. These Hollywood type of people are always kind of...crazy."
Demi stopped dead in her tracks after hearing her sisters accusations on the next door neighbor.
"Weren't you just defending her a moment ago? I don't get you. I thought you were encouraging me to befriend her." The blind sister stated, crossing her arms.
"I was...I mean I am. It's just...that was before I knew who you were talking about. She comes with a lot of baggage sis. A lot of it which is pretty far fetched and most likely untrue. But none the less it's a lot to take in."
Dallas took her sisters hands in hers as she gently removed the sunglasses from Demi's face. She looked deeply into the younger girl's pale blue eyes. "Being her friend means carrying a lot of that baggage as well as being caught up in all that public Drama. And you don't deserve that Demi. Not after what we've been through."
"Dallas..." Demi whispered softly, rubbing the back of her elder sisters hands. "I know you're only looking out for me. And I love you for that. I always will. But I just can't sit back and do nothing. I know you think that this is a charity case, but I assure you it isn't."
Demi looked away sadly as she lets her hand fall to her side, her white cane hanging from her left wrist.
"I can relate to you her you know? Not being socially acceptable and what not? That feeling sucks Dal."
There was that compassion again. The one that Demi always wore on sleeve. Dallas always did worry about Demi and how she always saw the kindness in people. Sometimes she felt that her sister could be too nice. It was one of Demi's best and worst qualities.
Demi lost a lot of friends over the years. Supposed "Friends" who jumped shipped because they didn't want to be seen with a blind girl. When people started to talk and when the rumors began to build, Demi's list of companions began to dwindle.
Starting in high school and then spreading into the community, people talked. Talking about someone they knew nothing about and spreading lies about her. For a while, she was Demi's only friend. The older sister remembered the nights where Demi would cry herself to sleep after the rumor mill about her spread like wildfire across their community. Whoever said words don't hurt were dead wrong. They hurt alright. And Demi was living proof of that.
Even after all that, Demi's outlook in life hadn't changed. She still believed that there were good people out there. After after the beating she took, her faith still remained untarnished. That just made Dallas love her sister even more.
"Demi, you know that I love you right?"
Demi slowly nodded her head, still looking away from her sister. She felt Dallas's hand slide around her shoulders as she pulled her close to her, letting their foreheads touch.
"And you know, whatever you do in life, I will always support you. I just don't want to see you get hurt. You've had enough drama in your life. More than anyone should have to deal with."
A small tear rolled down Demi's eyes. She didn't think she could love her sister anymore than she did right now. Her kind and encouraging words always got her through the day.
Dallas took a lot of the verbal abuse as well. If it wasn't for Dallas being their by her side, she didn't know where she would be right now.
"I just wanna see you happy Dems." Dallas pulled Demi closer and embraced her in a very big sister like hug.
"I know Dal." Demi hugged her sister back, letting her tears roll down her face. She felt Dallas's thumb grazed over her cheeks, catching her falling tears. Placing her glasses back over her eyes, she slipped her hand into her older siblings as the walked down the side walk together.
Just before they were about to cross the street in front of them, Demi tilted her head to the side as her brow furrowed. Quickly she placed her hand over Dallas's arm, temporarily stopping them.
"What's going on? Why are we stopping?"
Before Dallas hand a chance to ask another question, a car zoomed straight pass them, almost knocking them over if they were about to walk across the street. Various grumbles and insults were hurled towards the speeding reckless driver from random street walking pedestrians.
Dallas almost jumped out of her own skin on account of how close the side of the speeding vehicle came in contact with her. She looked back to her sister, who still hand was still grasping her arm.
"Good save little sis. I didn't even see that one coming."
"I know, neither did I." Demi responded as she released her sisters arm. It took a few seconds for the joke to register with Dallas, but as soon as it kicked in, she let out a small laugh, which Demi soon joined in.
It was moments like these that Demi truly cherished. Even though there were small, she always felt that the little moments in life truly mattered. She knew that people would always come and go. But her sister would always be there by her side, taking the rest of the world on with her.
