Hey. Hope you guys like it. had a shit day today but whats new. I just graduated high school and now its uni and I don't know what degree I wanna do or anythings sooo yes lll write this fic instead lol.
The Stars – The XX
"Oh my God Cheryl!"
Immediately smiling and closing her locker, Cheryl walked towards Veronica.
"Veronica. How are you this wonderful school day?" she said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.
Rolling her eyes Veronica sighed and intertwined her arms with Cheryl's as they began to walk to their Extension Literature class. Only 10 people had been accepted into the course due to not only their interest in literature but also due to their incredibly excelling grades in their normal English class.
"Honestly? It's been horrible. I know it's our last year and everything but Archie and I are having problems…" she began to drone on in the typical 'Veronica way' as Cheryl just agreed and nodded where it was necessary.
They arrived in class and sat at the very front, Veronica still continuing their very one-sided conversation. But Cheryl enjoyed it. Veronicas continuous chattering would help calm her subconscious thoughts. And so Cheryl sat through her class with Veronica whispering all the mundane gossip which she had missed during the past few months where she had been gone.
The professor passed around the book they were meant to read for the term. She smiled as she saw the title of 'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath laid out in front of her. One of her favourite novels. She was already beginning to process the theories and texts she would use to analyse it and anticipated the days ahead for this subject.
"So what about you? How was New Zealand? Did you meet any cute boys? I want all the details Cheryl Bombshell." She giggled as they walked towards the bleachers to cheer on Veronica's on-off boyfriend Archie.
"It was great. Not any cute boys but I did have a great time Veronica." She lied. No one had fathomed that Cheryl blossom would be spending her time at home in her room but that's exactly what she did. After texting her friends telling them she'll be far away, Cheryl closed herself off. And after the crazy year she had, she allowed herself to truly mourn the loss of her brother. Although she needed to do so, it almost awakened a dark part of her which she had no idea resided within.
It was obvious to all that something was wrong with Cheryl. She had changed. And at this point, she couldn't care less what people thought. For the one person who truly mattered to her was gone. Probably a pile of bones in a coffin by now. And as she thought of her perfect and dear brother no longer being there, a tear slipped out of her eyes. And she couldn't seem to stop the thoughts.
The thoughts of her brother's bones now lying fleshless in a dark and most probably damp coffin. She wondered whether he could hear her as she screamed inside of her body. She felt her hands begin to shake as her heart began racing.
Fuck not right now.She thought to herself. Willing her anxiety to leave her. But the more she tried to calm down the more she could see her brother's bones. Lying there. Just a vessel that he had now left.
She glanced at her phone and saw she had 10 minutes till morning break. Just ten minutes and then she can drive somewhere and smoke for a bit. And that's when she remembered that her cigarettes weren't with her anymore.
She got up and grabbed her bag. Not caring as Veronica shot her a confused look and called after her. She needed to smoke. At least one cigarette, to calm herself down. One, and she would be fine. She found herself running to her car to get to the petrol station in time.
She was never questioned for buying them as she had Reggie make her a fake I.D. He thought it was for her to get into clubs, but little did he know that Cheryl had a bigger addiction than this. She could already feel herself calming down. Just at the very thoughtof a cigarette. And the sad thing was that Cheryl knew she was addicted. She knew she had a problem. But she didn't want to get rid of it. If there was something she could do which helped her feel happy,then why should she ever stop?
She grabbed the cigarettes and lighter off the counter, the cashier already knowing what she was coming in for as she threw a wad of cash at her.
Not bothering to take the change, she went back to her car, immediately opening up the big red and white box as she removed the cigarette. Starting the car she began to drive towards the school with a lit cigarette in her mouth. Not caring if anyone saw. She kept her focus on the road even as she felt her head relax, the last thing she needed was an accident. Finishing the cigarette, she threw the butt outside and pulled into the school parking grounds once more.
Thank god, I can show my face to everyone the bell isn't going to ring for another 20 minutes.
She walked around the school, not bothering to go to the cafeteria and walking straight towards her table of friends.
Veronica instantly shot her a troubled look as Cheryl felt her eyes immediately roll to the back of her head. Almost on instinct.
"Cheryl are you okay? What happened during the game?"
"What? What happened?" Betty asked immediately.
"Hello to you too cousin. Looks like you really haven't learn to keep your nose out of other people's business during the holidays." She said as she sat next to Kevin immediately getting enveloped in a hug by him.
"fuck Cheryl I know you must have been out fucking hot guys halfway across the world but that doesn't mean you can just not respond to my texts!" he said.
"Sorry Kevin, I just wanted to be alone for a while I guess." She mumbled.
And she knew that no one would ask her how she was coping because she had told them never to bring up Jason and they were merely listening to what she had told them to do but at the same time she found herself wishing for someone to ask her how she was feeling. To tell her everything was going to be okay.
But she knew that wasn't going to happen. And she just had to accept it.
They all went to class and the day went by quicker than she thought it could. Relieved she drove out of school and back to the highway. She couldn't help hoping that Toni might be sitting there or show up. But the rational part of her knew there was a slim chance of that happening.
She pulled up to the side of the road and just sat there for a while, the music playing softly in the background. It was crazy how one person leaving could change her life completely. She didn't understand how much she had depended on him until he left. And she knew her life would never be the same.
A tear fell down her porcelain like face and she immediately wiped it away. I can't be fucking weak. I just can't.
Cheryl knew that when she got home her mother would not let her go without addressing her leaving the house this morning. And she knew there was no avoiding it. But a part of her always wondered what would happen if she just ran away. Would her mother even care? She scoffed.
Of course she would. Wouldn't want people knowing the famous Blossom family had issues right?
I will never be happy will I Jason? She thought to herself.
"Fuck you! Fuck you Jason! You fucking left me!" she screamed as she slammed her hands on the wheel. She could feel herself losing control as she mumbled to herself crying and continuing to slam her hands on the wheel.
"Woah what did that car ever do to you?" she heard an amused voice say suddenly.
Cheryl yelped and looked towards the trees where Toni was leaning, her head cocked to the side. Until she saw Cheryl's unshed tears and immediately softened her face and walked towards her.
"Cheryl?"
"I'm fine."
"I didn't say you weren't. What's up?" she said as she walked towards her and leant against the car.
"Honestly nothing. I'm fine so stop asking Toni." She said as she sighed and went towards her pack.
"Oh shit that reminds me here." She took out the pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket and handed them to Cheryl. She shook her head.
"Keep it. I got another one."
"Whatever you say I'm not turning down a free pack."
They stayed there in silence as Cheryl smoked for a while before Toni took one out of her packet. And just like that morning, she took Cheryl's face in her hands and lit it up. Smiling at her slightly. Cheryl relished her touch and as quick as it had come, it left. Cheryl saw her knuckles red and bruised and looked at her confused.
Toni sighed. "I had a shit day at work. This guy wanted me to go home with him and he was drunk out of his mind so I had to tell him to back off."
"Where do you work?"
"At a bar."
"Oh. That sounds… interesting."
Toni chuckled. "I'm not going to lie it can be. But I guess it's also kind of sad. The people who come in during the daytime are just on another level of sad I guess. They aren't there to have fun and enjoy life. They just come in to forget everything." She stared off into the trees and Cheryl couldn't help staring.
Her jaw-line and her perfect nose. And Cheryl didn't feel envious. She felt... enraptured.
"Well I had a shitty day at school too but I guess nothing can compare to having a drunk person try and get with you." She said the last part almost to herself.
"Hey everyone has bad days that doesn't mean you compare it to others and try and tell yourself it wasn't bad." She said with a smile. Her voice filled with meaning.
"Yeah I guess not." Cheryl said softly as she found herself smiling once more.
"You know what's sad?" she asked.
"Do tell."
"This is the second time I've truly felt happy today. Actually happy." She said staring into Toni's dark brown eyes.
"And when was the first time?"
"This morning."
"Well do you want to hear something sad too?"
And Toni stared at her, leaning in close as if she was about to tell her a secret. "same." She whispered.
And so they both stayed there for as long as they could. Before Cheryl had to leave. Knowing she couldn't avoid the wrath of her mother for any longer.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" she said, feeling bolder than usual.
"Sure. See you then Cheryl." She said with a wink. And then she leant down and hugged her. Cheryl hugged her back, not wanting this feeling of comfort that had surrounded their little space to end.
"I'll see you around Toni." She said as she waved to her.
"Bye Cher."
Cher. She called me Cher.
And so Cheryl drove home, relishing the feeling as much as she could. Until she rolled up to the driveway of her house. And there stood her mother. Waiting. She walked out of the car, taking as long as she could to walk up the steps.
"Get. In." she snarled.
Cheryl felt her heart sink as soon as the door slammed. Not knowing what would happen.
