Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight


Chapter 1

It was a close call again today, it's becoming too often. I love Jacob. But I love Edward too. The harsh truth is I know which one I cannot live without. The unbearable agony of living without Edward seemed endless and I honestly began to think that my life was over. But my death at that point would have been more of a blessing; the curse would have been living knowing what I had lost.

Eventually he came back after a few minor complications; as always he was being his self-righteous, over-protective self. Typical of Edward really, he always has to dramatize things. Unfortunately, it was too late as I was beginning to grow closer to Jacob. A relationship that would not just threaten us, but both werewolf and vampire clans.

The friendship between me and Jacob is uneasy, especially now that Edward has returned. But I cannot stop myself from wanting to see him; he was my sun when I was in complete darkness. He brought me back to the real world when I had lost all sanity. Now Edward has returned the roles have been reversed and I hate myself for the pain that I am causing him. But like the wolf inside, he fights back with the certainty of knowing what he wants. Me. But the polite gentleman that Edward is refuses to fight against Jacob but I can see the lust for battle gleaming in his eyes. The ancient feud between them was already a barrier to any possibilities of friendship but my existence has enticed them even further.

Not only am I hurting Jacob, but I am hurting the one person I love most in the world. Edward. He watches me each night as I cry for an uncomplicated friendship with Jacob. But I also cry because I know that it will never be uncomplicated. It hurts to know that even though I want to save Edward the suffering, I cannot stop. When Jacob healed me, he left behind his own marks which only he will ever be able to fix.

Before I came to Forks I considered myself to have an ordinary teenage girl life but now I feel like I live in a horror book with mythical, monstrous creatures socialising in my simple mundane world. It seems impossible to escape from these creatures of the night, when the Cullen's left, I thought this wild side of my life was over, but no Victoria wanted revenge in the form of my dead body. Once you discover the truth, you are sucked into that world beyond no return which will take hold to the point of life and death.