Chapter Two
Opposites, Much?

(Author's Note: Hii, so sorry I haven't been updating that much; I'm trying! Busy, busy, busy. I'm in a lot of extra-curricular activities now, so updating without Internet is becoming increasingly difficult, especially with chapters like this one… Either or… I hope you're enjoying it! And I decided now I'll give dates for when I started it, so you know… I was just looking back at my past work that I have to update as well, however, my style has changed incredibly from a few months ago. It's just embarrassing to see my new work, then my old, and update them together… You get the idea. XD Sorry for my ranting. Please review, I'd be so happy, I love to hear what you have to say! Please and thank you! -Oct.19.06)

-

It's the middle of a chilly afternoon in Konohagakure. Rain had pelted the large city for a few days, and now that it had stopped, requests for Shinobi had been drawn up again. This time, the very anomalous yet intriguing duo, consisting of Tenten and Naruto, was called upon.

"Uzumaki Naruto, …Er… Tenten," Tsunade had paused, as Tenten's family name seemed to be one of an inscrutability. "I've called you both here because--"

"A mission!" Naruto shrieked, giving an eccentric jump. It was almost blinding, for his orange adobe had been doubled with several more 'electrifying' layers because of the damp weather. Tenten, peeved already by the Uzumaki, appeared to be ready to mash him in the face if provoked, and wouldn't mind that the Hokage, of all people, was there to bear witness. Not only was Naruto, himself, exasperating, but his attire and his intonation wasn't exactly a delight to have near, either. "It is a mission, right?"

"Obviously," Tsunade made a face. Being sober for the day (a challenge from Shizune), that was going good, but now that Naruto was becoming riled up, it was about to become tremendously intricate. "But how about this time, Naruto, you listen to this mission's instructions so you won't get pummeled like last time. Or the time before that." He had been on many assignments since the one where he went to Kumogakure, and on nearly every one of them, he 'messed up' and sustained an injury of some sort. "Now, this one is potentially harmless. I would like the two of you to travel to a place a little farther than Kirigakure… I'm not sure what it's named, but I know it's a little farther west (so get off your ass and ask about it once you get to Kiri!)… Either way, once you're there, you must find someone who goes by the name of Amai, then take them to … Ohh, I don't even know what it's called…"

"Why not?" Tenten narrowed her eyes, but a glint that shined through articulated sympathy for the poor Godaime, who was rubbing her temples with eyes that came across being awfully bloodshot. "Um… Lady Tsunade, are you alright?"

"Does it look like it?" She snapped, then stopped and apologized to the now-edgy Tenten.

"Ughh… I'm sorry… I have an enormous hangover…" Naruto's eyes, from being slit, had widened at the word and then began to laugh spitefully.

"Hangover! You never have hangovers, you're always too drunk to have them!"

"Shut up! No, I'm not. I get work done efficiently, for a matter of fact, and therefore I'm not always drunk… Well… I'm never that smashed, at least. But today's the day before the weekend, and before I go out and gamble some more and party tomorrow, Shizune's goading me not to drink for today. Oh my Gawd… Appalling… Ahem! Anyways." Her face was now pitch red, as Naruto drew a hand to his mouth and snickered within his throat to keep from hollering with mirth. He was a pest that way.

Tenten, conversely, was more revolted at the Hokage's rambling, for she wasn't all that much more of an acquaintance and a mere ninja to her. And Tsunade was Tenten's childhood heroine… Now to hear that she had gotten hammered the night before and wasn't sure of anything because of her hangover… Oy… Tenten wasn't sure what to say.

"I think we get the gist of the mission," Tenten gave a meek smile to hide her insecurities and discomfort of the Hokage, at the time. Tenten wasn't exactly the kind you would randomly speak to about such 'personal' issues, as she would classify; Especially if it was someone whom she looked up to. "Can Naruto and I go? To be truthful, I'd like to leave now so this could be over with faster." With a glare from the side of her eye to the blonde idiot, still smirking wildly at Tsunade, Tenten focused critically at the Godaime, as she nodded her head with a smirk.

"Alright. You've got my permission. Now get out of here, I've got business to deal with. Good luck." And with that, the two young Shinobi were personally shoved out of her office. As they both gave a questionable look to Shizune, standing outside the door. She shrugged, with no idea of what Tsunade was talking about. Aruheitou, in Shizune's arms, had now surrendered to be the prissy-pet of the Hokage's assistant, and looked utterly sapped. What did Shizune do to those pitiable piggies?

Directing away from Shizune and the 'torture' of her pet piglets, Naruto and Tenten were out on their leave towards Kirigakure… Or the west of it, at least. And then they were supposed to take someone named Amai to somewhere else; Very evocative. Either way, with Tenten and her intellect, and Naruto and his… attendance… They would piece together the clues, and attempt to survive something of a few days together. - Good luck.

"So, Naruto," Tenten abruptly stopped and stared at him, beckoning to his house, which they were right in front of. "Do you have to stop by your house and get your stuff for the mission?"

"I had a feeling she was going to pick me for another mission; Damn, she's working me hard…" He lied through his teeth, though in an ingenuous tone. Tenten, however, knew better than to deem the Uzumaki. "…So anyways, I packed a few bags before I left. I'll just grab them quick. What about you?"

"The Hyuuga clan is on the way to Kiri, isn't it? I'll grab my things when we go by there." Her words had already came out of her mouth before Tenten had realized what she had spoken.

"The Hyuuga clan? What's your stuff doing there?" Naruto's nose crinkled in perplexity. Tenten's face gradually started to convert to pink.

"Umm… Well… I had a task with… Uh… Hinata, yes. So I had an assignment with Hinata and we were told in advance, and I live far from here so … I slept there for the night… My stuff is still there. Silly me."

"You don't live far from here," Naruto grinned, finding her out. "You live a few blocks down, don't you? Or is it at the corner of the city? Either way, you wouldn't need to be at the Hyuuga clan…"

Tenten waited for a second. "Well, aren't you an idiot!" She snapped, then folded her arms and swirled away from him. "You're just… Stupid! Get your belongings and let's go. And run. I don't exactly want to spend my weekend with you." She watched Naruto stick his tongue out at her insolently, then head into the house to grab his mission-worthy property. Tenten giggled darkly as the door closed behind him; He believed that meager excuse for acting? Wow, what a chump!

Naruto's eyebrows lowered in thought about Tenten. What was it that he was missing? She must have been lying, but… She seemed rather somber. Perhaps he was an idiot, and she was accurate; Well, that was what he would assume. Hinata was the only one living at the Hyuuga clan he knew of: Neji did, too, but that 'didn't seem to be relevant'.

Either way, Naruto had never mentioned any of the Hyuugas the entire trip, there and back, even as they entered the Hyuuga clan (by sneaking in through the side) and grabbing Tenten's work-worthy matter. Astoundingly, everything was there with not a thing absent, so a mission of hers with someone of the Hyuuga clan was evident.

The Hyuuga clan was said to be some highly cosseted place with security coming out of the ears, so it dismayed Naruto, who hadn't been there before (or at least in a long while), that there was no one who had caught them yet.

"I thought you said they would catch us at the slightest sound," Naruto blurted, blasé and stridently, as the two of them were making their flee. Tenten's immense package of her clothing and such, was slung in a rucksack over her back. It was slowing them down somewhat, and Tenten was hoping to make a silent escape, one where they wouldn't be spotted. It seemed that way, even with Naruto's trumpeting, shrill voice (even at his matured age).

That was until a shuriken had burst from the shadows and sliced Tenten's pack open. Her dark eyes shrank to their extent as she drew breath, standing entirely composed and immobile. She was stun-struck.

"Ohh, Naruto, you stupid little--" She probably would have done anything to throttle him at that moment, but before she could insult him any more, any hurtful, kunai and shuriken alike were tossed towards them. The next thing they knew, they were running, evading and stumbling as fast as their legs could take them.

Naruto, with eyes wide and lip bitten by his teeth as hard as he could to keep from wailing, had focused chakra in his feet obliviously and ran straight up and away over the ten foot, stone wall that surrounded the clan.

"Gawd-damnit!" It was all Tenten could do but try not to swear, for the sake of the younger readers (may there be any). She tossed the massive bag over the wall (taking most of her arm potency), and before she could even give a second thought about what she was doing, her knapsack had exploded from all the slashes from shuriken and kunai.

To say the least, attacks ceased for the moment as undergarments, shirts, pants, socks, vests, and everything else you can imagine; Even bathroom necessities (as in toothbrushes and such, you dirty minded folk), flew over the wall, onto peoples heads, and on the ground surrounding them. As a pair of undergarments floated gracefully onto Tenten's embarrassed, red-faced little head, she decided to suck it up and take a run for it, over the wall and to a less socially thwarting situation.

"What the hell?" Naruto seemed bemused, holding up a petite, suggestive looking pair of pink shorts. Her façade, exasperated and appallingly embarrassed beyond belief, had stretched into something even more horrified as she snatched them out of Naruto's hands and threw them backwards. At that moment, he burst out with acerbic laughs as he fell back onto his behind.
"Unbelievable…" She grabbed Naruto's arm steadfast and squeezed brutally as she dragged him, teeth clenched, Tenten stomped away from her baggage and the Hyuuga clan. That had been a calamity, to say the least!

-

"Heeey-uh, Chouji! Neji! Get-a over here," Tsunade poked her head out of the doorway to the office next to hers. It was presently the weekend, and Tsunade had gotten herself terribly inebriated just to sneer at Shizune (who had lost the bet she made with the Godaime the previous day). Now she was calling random Shinobi in to dispense them missions, into an office that wasn't even hers. "I gots a mission for ya… Yup!"

Neji narrowed his pallid eyes and glared towards Chouji, who had his mouth full on an incredibly hefty jawbreaker. Chouji shrugged, then followed the bumbling Hokage into 'her' bureau. Neji pursued as well, but wasn't looking very cheerful; Then again, when does he ever?

"Nows-a, listen hard you two… See…" She motioned the two towards her, as if to secretly elucidate the task to them. Now, that would be a regular Tsunade ordeal, except for the fact that no one else apart from for the other two Shinobi and herself were in the room. As she sat down (and span the wheeled chair once or twice), Neji and Chouji were leaning on her desk to listen, trying to hold their breath simultaneously, for her sake-scent was revolting. "…You guys need to go on a mission."

As they looked deep into her cobalt eyes to see if she were jesting or not, they found themselves taken aback to see her expression direct. She was dead serious!

"Okay, we know that much," Neji folded his arms, apathetic. "So, what do we do? Where do we go?"

"You're going on a mission!" She repeated for the third time, making a peculiar phrase, as if he wasn't comprehending her. "And you're's goin' to the Land of Waffles!"

"Seriously?!" Chouji blurted, for he had read about that location in a novel of his. "Ohh! That's ideal! When do we go? Now?"

"Yes, go now, go now!" Tsunade waved her hands frontward, nearly striking them both in the face. She did that a few more times until they got the hint, and began to walk away. "Hurry, there ain't much time!"

"What are we going there for?" Neji was starting to ponder if this were a gag or not. The Land of Waffles? 'Sounds like something out of a child's imagination… Particularly, one of Chouji's.

"Assassination!"

"For whom?"

"… You'll find out when you get there, Gawd, just go! And hurry! And tell Gekkou to step into my office next!"

"But… Gekkou's…" Chouji angled his head to the side, nearly choking on his idly bulky jawbreaker. Hayate Gekkou was dead… As of a long time ago… That was when he discerned that Tsunade had pulled out the sheets of the Shinobi deceased, and was drunkenly scanning the page for familiar names.

"Nevermind what he's doing, get him in here! Mizuki, too!"

"Uhh… Okay…" Chouji's voice cracked as he hastily paced out of the workplace, Neji at his side. "Hey... Neji… I think Hokage-sama's… Drunk…"

"You think?" Neji spat and brushed his lengthy hair off his shoulder. "Whatever. Let's just go. This is stupid. At least it's an assassination mission."

"Yeah, and in the Land of Waffles, too!" Chouji added, his voice stifled as he struggled to chew the immense, circular block of rock-solid candy.

"Sure…" Poor Neji. He was stuck with an overweight idiot; Or so he seemed to think.

"So where exactly is the Land of Waffles?" Neji snorted, as the two of them moseyed 'round, leaving from Chouji's house for his baggage The two of them were now heading to the Hyuuga clan promptly, though it was a bit astray of where Chouji notioned they were aimed to be going.
"Suna," Was his reply, as he chewed stridently on a few pieces of gum that the jawbreaker bust into. As they loomed the clan, Chouji's eyes amplified as he gaped. "Wow… This is huge…"

"Yeah. I know," Neji acquiesced towards him, then rolled his colorless eyes as they entered the front gates. About six clan members were talking of something that occurred at the northeast corner (Naruto and Tenten's scene the day before), however Neji didn't hear specifically what ensued.
Soon, the Hyuuga had his gear, and the two Shinobi were on their way to Suna. It was about a day and a half when the two finally made their way to the intense heat and the desolate landscape. Now, a small village was up ahead, through the excessive swirls of sand, which was easy (and painful) to catch in your eyes.

"Is that the Land of Waffles?" Neji asked Chouji ardently, for he was energized, per say, for the assassination.

"No," Chouji answered without delay. It even seemed as if he wasn't eating anything for once; It was a few moments anon that Neji perceived that Chouji was sucking on a few candy-flavored mints.

"Where is it, then?" Now, the nineteen year-old was becoming intolerant. "How long is it until we get there?"

"Look, Neji, I don't know the actual way there. We'll ask someone when we reach this village," Stupid egotistical Neji was starting to tick Chouji off with his antsy outlook. The Akimichi could tell how Neji was glowering at him, calling him 'fat' through his mind, taunting him… He was starting to want to find out that the Land of Waffles was pure child fiction, just so Chouji and Neji could break free of each other; However, if that was so, the Akimichi's upbringing reminiscences of books of the Land of Waffles and Okashi Mountain ((Snack Mountain)) would be crushed.

So, Neji's one-worded reply was, "Fine."

"Ohhh, The Land of Waffles?!"

Neji and Chouji were delimited by a cluster of around fifteen children, ages six to twelve, all astounded to see two real-live Jounin from Konohagakure. The crowd was full of short kids, every one darkly tanned from the sun exposure and with blackish, brown hair, were amazed that the two of them had a mission in the Land of Waffles. One, specifically, appeared to have all the remedies they were searching for.

"See, the Land of Waffles is a place not on current maps," A boy, perchance the age of twelve, pushed through the swarm and strutted directly to the Hyuuga and the Akimichi. "However, everyone still knows where it is. Especially me."

"Where?" Neji solicited, rather demandingly. His light eyes defiantly stared at the boy, who's name was, incidentally, Itazura. ((Itazura means 'Prank'))

"Well, this village is north from Sunagakure, and the Land of Waffles' domain is small, just a slight bit southwest from Sunagakure."

"How do you know?" Chouji started to slurp from a fizzy energy drink, for his mouth was 'dehydrated' for all the barbeque chips he ate on the way to where they currently were.

"I have all the books about it. So does everyone else here."

"Ohh, really? Me too! Where does it say the location?" Chouji hunched down to talk to the short Genin.

"In the new installment. You don't have it yet?"

"No, I didn't even know they made one!"

"Holy… Well, you should go get it. It's at the bookstore in the village, right near the Village 'Head. It would probably help you on your mission," Itazura gave a grin as he glanced back to the other children. They agreed, even the two little girls, maybe six years old, who latched themselves to Neji's legs.

"Let's go get it. Right now. Alright, Chouji?" Neji didn't even pause for a retort, as he turned around and started off to wherever that bookstore was, the two little girls still wrapped tightly on his legs. Chouji shrugged and pursued, as the cluster of Genin dispatched to their homes, as the day for them was over.

"One copy of… What did you say that book was called?" Neji turned behind to get a glimpse of Chouji, who was flipping through a few cookbooks. All the while, the Hyuuga was massaging his legs, for they pained dreadfully bad, because of two small girls dragging him down for what felt like forever.

"'Mochi-Chan.'"

"'Mochi…' What?"

"Here you are," It was palpable the Hyuuga was trying to impress the female bookseller, though, with children titles such as 'Mochi-Chan,' or whichever, it was hard to make an influence that would not end in laughs.

Thus, Neji paid her, and the two of them left the bookshop, not chatting for quite a ways as Chouji read the petite book, doubtlessly not pursuing for the slightest clue as he read.
When the pair of them were out of the almost infinitesimal village, that was when Neji seemed to detonate.

"Seriously, what the hell is this?" He seized the book out of the Akimichi's hands, which had the sticky rice snack-character on the hardcover. It had a face, of all things, which seemed to repulse the proper Hyuuga. "How… How are we going to get clues from this?!"

"Uh, well, it says right there," Chouji snatched the book back and flipped to the front. There, it had a map, fully colored of all the Lands and the tiny Lands amidst. "Here is where we are supposed to go." He pointed right at 'The Land of Waffles,' in big bold letters. It even had a little waffle with feet drawn on it.

"I see… But are you sure this book isn't plain children's fiction?"

"Don't ever say something like that!" Chouji snarled, almost as if he were critically affronted. "Ayumi Hikari-sama would never lie about something such as this! And even Tsunade-sama said!" ((Just so you're aware, I made up the author's name off the top of my head. -Author's Note)) With that, Chouji folded his arms with a sulk and turned away. Neji gently obtained the book and flipped through it.

"Okay, fine. At least, tell me what this garbage is about. I spent an awful lot on this stupid book, and if it's--"

"Well, it says it's the final book of a trilogy (which I wasn't aware of) that began a long time ago when I was around four, and started with 'Moshi-Moshi, Mochi-Chan'…" (('Hello, Hello, Mochi-Chan,' but with 'hello' as in someone answering a telephone.))

-

"Okay, now where do we go?"

"To catch the boat, you idiot!"

"Why don't we just take the bridge?"

"The bridge?"

"Yeah, the Great Naruto Bridge. That was named after me, you know."

"Obviously… But, no… We'll take the boat… Come on!"

Tenten was fundamentally dragging the Uzumaki away from the pathway to the Great Naruto Bridge. First of all, anything else that reminded her of Naruto would give her an marvelous headache… Second of all, her feet really hurt and she was trite, so a few hours on a boat wouldn't be that bad. That was until she saw the shotty piece of 'transportation' (if you could call it that) when it arrived.

There was a grizzly looking man, overweight and definetly checking both Tenten and Naruto out, who pulled up to the misty dock. He had knotted, gray-brown hair, and was just plain scary… To Tenten, at least. Naruto jumped right into the minute boat at first sight and greeted the old guy. When he didn't reply, Naruto began to notice who he was with, and what they were in.

"Are you really sure you don't want to take the bridge, Naruto?" Tenten grasped his arm and tugged him back onto the wooden planks. "I… Don't know if the boat is going to be a good idea."

"'Eyy, you twos, are ya's gettin' in the boat, 'er what?" He snorted, then looked the two of them up and down numerous times.

"Oh, sorry, we're deciding to take the long way," Tenten laughed apprehensively as her voice changed spectacularly than before to sound respectful. "Perhaps you can find someone else who needs a ride to Kiri?"

"Ehh, yer right, get outta' here, I dun need you's!"

The pair of Shinobi walked away, Tenten seeming to have a rush in her step as she gave a half sprint off the dock, and towards the bridge.

"Do you know how the Great Naruto Bridge got to be named after me?" Naruto asked, rather smugly as they made their way down there. Tenten lied and nodded so she wouldn't have to go through the torment to find out. "Oh. Well it was a long time ago. I don't even remember it that well myself… So I'll just repeat it again anyways." It was definetly manifest before he said that, that he was going to reminisce that time, regardless of what Tenten's answer was. She gave a deep sigh, as the flaxen-haired dolt began to run his mouth.

"…And that's how I killed Momochi Zabuza, that (seemingly androgynous) Haku person, wounded Sasuke almost to the point of death, temporarily won Sakura's heart as well as having stolen a part of Kakashi-sensei's Sharingan."

"Okay, then," It was apparent that Tenten wished that she, herself was dead, while listening to that story. It was so forged, was almost as phony as Sakura's hair color; Even though that was her natural color. "So anyways, do you think we're close to that village?"

"Oh, sure. It's just past the bridge, a few miles north-east. Well. That's what the map says, anyways." Understandably, Tsunade was mistaken when she first gave them the commands. Before the two had left, the Godaime had remembered the name of the village in which the two were supposed to go, and it wasn't anywhere near where she first explained.

"Thank Gawd," She muttered under her breath, though she was sure Naruto had heard her. He turned away and started to walk quicker, sensing the actuality that Tenten wasn't in the utmost of moods; Specially since she had lost all her luggage, and had been wearing the same outfit (which was now soiled horribly from all the salty moisture in the air, and the muck from the hills they crossed) for a few days now.

A few hours later, they arrived to the village, fatigued beyond no end, for the two of them had taken up a quickened-paced jog for the rest of the trip.

It was a dark place, for the wet clouds of Kiri were set just above them. The village, named Sappuukei (( Authors Note: Fictional place alert! )) wasn't that bad looking of a place, other than the dreary weather. It was cheery, and the people were rather friendly; More than Konoha, at least. Not as many Shinobi, though.

"Hi," Tenten cleared her throat to get the consideration of the secretary, at the villages' Headman's main office, which was at the center of Sappuukei. She stirred away from her work and brushed a strand of chestnut hair behind her ear. Smiling at Naruto, who was staring so blatantly towards her, she gave a look of inquiry towards them. Tenten elbowed Naruto, and he stopped gawking, so the kunoichi asked her question. "We're the Jounin requested from Konohagakure. We're supposed to take a girl named Amai to… Well… I'm not sure. Our Hokage didn't tell us any details, 'just told us to come here. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Mmhmm. Yes. However, Amai isn't here. You're going to have to go out and find--"

"No problem!" Naruto interrupted, trying to make an impact on the 'striking' secretary. "Just tell me where, I'll get her."

"…Okay… Well, Amai'll be at the Park." She gave a smirk at Naruto, who was looking quite exuberant. It was hard not to grin at something such as that; A bright haired (not to mention, bright clothed) Shinobi, not acting in the least how a regular ninja would.

"Alright. Thank you for your help," Tenten bowed slightly for thanks, and when she turned around to join Naruto to go the Park, wherever that may be, she found that the Uzumaki was already down the street, dashing to the objective. "Er… Naruto! Hey, wait for me! Stop… Hey!"

"Excuse me, do you happen to know someone named Amai? One who's acquiring a mission?" Tenten politely knelt down to a small boy who was playing in a wet sandbox at a park. It was the first one they had gone to, however he was the only one there, and neither of them thought that the little boy was the Amai they were searching for; After all, they pictured a rich little girl, one that had enough money to employ Shinobi from a Land far away from hers.

"Oh, yeah, everyone here knows Amai," The little boy swabbed his nose and sniffled, smearing wet sand all over his mouth as he did so. Taking an instant, it spit it out, then blinked back up towards Tenten and Naruto. "Wow, are you guys really Konoha ninjas?"

"Yeah," Naruto fixed his hitai-ate, then folded his arms. "Now c'mon, are you going to tell us where she is?"

"Amai's at the Park," He replied, instantaneously, focused steadily on the Konoha headband. Every little boy at this village had stared at them that way, for they all wanted to be ninjas when they grew up; Ninjas around these parts were fairly infrequent.

"This park?"

"No..."

"Okay, thank you," Tenten grinned, then stood and strolled down the street, Naruto just a tad ahead of her. "So, what do you think this girl is going to be like?"

"I've been on a lot of missions with snotty little kids, and I'm tell you, she sounds like another I'll add to the list," Naruto moaned, then stretched his arms in the air. "Ohh, I'm getting tired and I'm hungry. Should we keep going, or should we grab a bite to eat?"

"I know what you mean… But I think we should keep going, then when we find her, go out for food, if you catch my drift."

"'Think she'll pay?" He turned around and gave Tenten a look of interest, speculating what she was leading at. There was a reticent grin on his face.

"If she knows what's good for her," Tenten smirked, and the two of them laughed lightly. That was essentially the first, non-destructive dialogue the two had together, and it would probably be the last, for the two of them didn't have that much in common; Therefore, they definetly wouldn't 'hang out' outside of missions.

"Hey, is someone here named Amai?" Naruto yelled out towards a cluster of young children at the second park they arrived at. They all shook their head. "Where is she, then?"

"Park," Was the scattered response throughout them all. Naruto rolled his oceanic eyes and continued on to find the next one. Tenten followed beside him, feeling the same dissatisfactions. This village seemed very small. How many parks could there be?

"Okay, please tell me that you're Amai," Tenten, with a hassled façade, sat next to a small blonde girl with a fair complexion, and a pink rain-suit. She blinked up at Tenten, her eyes large and hazel.

"I'm not Amai," Almost sounding disrespected with her small, squeaky voice, she sustained her swinging. Tenten started going back and forth on the swing next to the girl. "Why would you say something like that?"

"Look, we're just looking for Amai. Do you know Amai?"
"Pppfft. Obviously."

"Okay, well, where is she?" Tenten put a hand to her forehead in a strained fashion. Naruto leaned against the pole next to Tenten that was helping to support the large swing-set.

"The Park," The blonde girl answered swiftly. "Amai is always at the Park."

"Okay, where is the damn Park?" Naruto spat, tensions rising. Both of them had been searching for several hours. This was the eleventh park they had visited. Palpably, the 'diminutive' village was way larger than they had thought probable.

"At the end of the main road. You can't miss it... You're welcome." She girl stuck her tongue out and continued on, focusing on her kicks to get her higher on her swing. Naruto and Tenten left lacking a thank you, and without taking the urge of pushing the child off the swing when they had the chance.

"This is the Park?" Tenten and Naruto, in unison, said almost in an incredulous tone. Their eyes were both open wide as crowds of children and adults alike pushed their way past them, going ahead towards the Park and parting from the Park at the same time. The sound of laughter was in the air, along with a disgusting scent as well…

In giant letters, the sign above read 'The Park' in Hiragana. Inside were cheap cages, full of dangerous animals you would only see deep in the wild, ones which neither Tenten nor Naruto had stumbled upon… Not lately, at least.

Signs inside read: 'Kumi,' 'Tora,' 'Kitsune,' 'Tanuki,' 'Pikkoku,' 'Hebi,' 'Sakana,' 'Raion' and many other things that incorporated peculiar, foreign or untamed animals. ((In order, the words read: 'Bear,' 'tiger,' 'fox,' 'raccoon-dog,' 'peacock,' 'snake,' 'fish,' 'tiger')) It was bizarre… A zoo in this (theoretically) small village? Well, all villages were known for one thing, or another. But why would Amai be at this Park?

"I bet this 'Amai' owns this Park," Naruto snorted as he lead on into the gates. Tenten agreed directly, although you could tell with the look on her face, that she was surely mystified.

"Excuse me," When they got inside, Tenten approached the first employee they saw. "Do you happen to know where Amai is? We have a mission and we're--"

"The Shinobi from Konohagakure? Yeah, we requested you. Come this way," The worker, a rather 'attractive' looking girl (As Naruto noted), had directed them to trail her in the route marked 'Saru.' Well. Maybe she owned the monkeys, or had a pet monkey. Yes, that was undeniably the case.
"Amai!" After an abrupt stop, the girl cried the name penetratingly, and a few moments later, she was 'attacked' by one of the monkeys; A tiny tamarin monkey was perched on her shoulder, chattering greetings towards the two Konoha Shinobi. It was so cute, conversely neither Naruto nor Tenten understood how the tiny monkey was relevant to Amai.

"Okay… Where's Amai?" Tenten scratched the monkey under its chin, and it made a purring-like sound, then curled its tail around her fingers.

"You're lookin' at her!" The girl smiled, and then the two Shinobi glanced to each other, their chestnut and cobalt eyes meeting with a gaze of astonishment. They had found Amai, finally, though Amai was nothing of what they predicted…

-

"This doesn't look quite right."

As the two glanced around, the adjacent milieu had suddenly malformed into luscious plains and a forest, of all things; But Suna was uninhabited and barren and… Not very green, like this place was.
Neji glanced to the compass. It said that they were northwest, but that wasn't true, because the area above Suna was rocky and bleak as well; Nothing like this. They had to be back in Konoha!
"Shit!" He cussed, a growl in his tone as his eyes, though they were pale, darkened. "The compass broke!"

"It's broken?" Chouji's eyes widened, as he zipped his mouth closed after eating half the bag of ketchup chips. They were supposed to be close to the Land of Waffles, so he broke out his dry snacks, knowing that water would soon be nearby… But if they were back in Konoha, they would have been itinerant in the wrong track for a day or two! Now they were entirely off course! "This is dreadful… Just dreadful… What are we going to do, Neji?! I only have five bags of chips left; That won't last us even a day!"

"Maybe not for you," Neji scoffed brusquely, then threw the compass to the ground, placing his foot hard on it afterwards. "Stupid piece of… Now we're screwed. We have to go and get a new compass."

"Well, how are we going to find another Land? Another village? We could be in the middle of nowhere, for all we know!" Chouji's eyebrows sank as he whined. His stomach grumbled, urging him to eat more chips, yet his mouth insisted for a beverage. The Akimichi only had three can drinks left, none of them healthy. Either way, he plunged into one.

Neji didn't reply for a while, for he was scanning around the area with his Byakuugan. Minutes later, he turned to Chouji and reported what he had seen. "There's place not too far ahead in the direction we're headed. Maybe three or four miles through these trees, nothing big, we'll be there before the end of the day if we hurry. Which I suggest we do." The sun was setting already, and Neji didn't want to spend the night outside again… Not with Chouji, at least. With his stomach hissing and growling all night long, it drove him barmy, principally with Chouji's sleep talking of food. A nice room with a contented bed with stillness and silence; That would keep him as well as can be expected for the rest of the journey.

"You's gots no money," An old man with a chipped front tooth had snorted towards the two, as 'they' (as in Chouji) pleaded for a compass, one that they would return on the way back. The old guy wasn't looking very impressed, for he didn't especially like Shinobi, and didn't think that either of them deemed to be that trustworthy. "So no, I ain't givin' you's no compass! Gett'uh job!"
Nevertheless, the two young men weren't giving up on this discourteous, homely little town in which no Shinobi, at all, resided. It was absentmindedly quiet, and those who lived there were wary of outsiders. Most didn't even give a second look to neither Neji, nor Chouji.

Well. Their plan on attempting to get a compass had bombed. The two of them walked, defeated, through the main road of the town, glaring at those who had turn both of them down. To make things even worse, both of the boys were rather hungry, and with no money, they couldn't buy any more to eat (For Chouji had eaten all he had brought, as he was rather nervous). Their hopes were so low, and they felt like nonentity could help them now; That was when they passed the place of the old man who had first turned them down. He peered out the window towards them.

"Ehh, you's gots yourselves a compass, yet?" Rocking in a crooked old chair, he stared towards them, scanning them up and down. They looked so drained; They almost looked like dissimilar people than before they went on the mission.

"No," Neji blurted, folding his arms as a frayed strand of his charcoal hair peeked into his face. Not feeling up to it, he didn't brush it out of his view.

"Ugh… Okay... Well… I ain't givin' you's no compass for free, you see, but I'll give ya a small job tomorr-ah. I owns that little beauty over there, ya see, so if you's want to take the job, you's can sleep there and rest up. It'ah be some kinda' hard work, eh, so it's ya own choice, ain't blamin' me none…" He pointed towards a tattered looking Inn, but it was better than nothing. Giving a slight smirk to the old man, both of them nodded as they hauled up their bags and immediately went to take a free room to rest up for tomorrow. They would do the job, get the damn compass, then finish their mission.

'It had better be some damn good assassination,' Neji had thought to himself before his eyes closed, and he fell sleeping. If it wasn't, he didn't know what he would do; It wouldn't be good, though.

"Hey! Hey, you! Just because you think you're all that, don't mean you ain't getting' me my coffee!"

Neji clenched his teeth as he delivered a tray of a large coffee to one of the clientele at the Inn's eatery; Which, might I add, was perhaps just as untidy or more than the room they had slept in that night; And with bugs and several rodents (not to mention an outlandish aroma), you wouldn't unerringly call it 'hygienic.'

As the Hyuuga went back to the back room to get another order, he saw that Chouji was tens of orders ahead of him, and was already concluding some of Neji's work. It was evident he liked what he was doing, or was better, at least. This was starting to make Neji more aggressive, though he had a thought of just pretending to work and having Chouji do all the work… Nonetheless, his Hyuuga blood grew restless and he suddenly found himself doing work faster.

"Where's my order? Gawdamn, ya'll got me waitin' but I gotta' get outta' here!" An older, larger and shaggy looking woman slammed her fist on the table. She was rather intolerant, and in no time, Chouji rushed up and distributed her the 'feast' she had ordered for lunch.

Like that impatient old hag (as Neji would word it), there were many people, just like her, if not even more difficult. It was an awful job, and the two Shinobi were almost wishing that they had reconsidered taking it, until they got their compass. It, too, was scruffy looking, but it was something for them to go off of. As soon as they got it, they didn't even give a thank you; They ripped off their aprons, tore off their hairnets, threw the trays down on the ground and bolted out of the bistro, giving a few flip-offs towards those who were chiefly impolite to them.

With wild grins and a skip in their step, the two boys ran as fast as their legs could take them, without care of fatigue, towards the Village of Waffles. Finally, after all those things that had happened to them, things were looking superior.

Neji's idiom had a smile on his face, though he wasn't happy. He was trying to laugh off the disenchantment he felt, but it wasn't working… "What do you mean, the hand fell off of the compass?"

"Well, it was cheap, so it was going to break at some time," Chouji was staring at the piece of garbage in his hand, rusted and broken, as he thought in disbelief. He pulled a wrapped sandwich he had stolen from the Inn, and started to nibble on it as he passed the compass to Neji. "But we're close to somewhere, aren't we?"

Wasn't that a statement! The two of them were in the middle of nothing, full of dunes, sand, sand, sun, sand… Did I mention, sand? It was deserted, full of hot wind that, once again, blew sand into their eyes. Content to know they were on the right path, they were now basically stranded in the heart of nowhere with a broken compass.

"Shit," Neji threw the compass on the ground. Sand instantly devoured it. Disregarding Chouji for a moment, he used the Byakuugan to see if there was any type of life nearby. Other than vultures and scorpions, there was a village up ahead. A large one, though there wasn't that much of a population. He knew, instantly, it was Sunagakure. "At least we were on the right track. Sunagakure is up ahead."

"Ohh, yes!" Chouji grinned, then started walking, behind the rapt Neji, still shocked over the compass. "Gaara will be there. He'll give us a compass (not to mention a meal) without a second thought. Surely, he'll help a fellow Shinobi!"

"I don't think so."

"Wha… But Gaara-sama, you have to, please!" Chouji's eyes widened to their extent. "No food? Please, some chips, steak, potatoes even… Gum! Please, candy!"

"No." Gaara gave him a look, his demonic eyes glaring at him. "I can get you a compass, but I'm not giving you food. You have enough food." His eyes motioned to Chouji's stomach, and Chouji folded his arms and looked away.

"A compass is all we need. Thank you, Gaara," Neji nodded civilly towards the Kazekage and Kankurou, who was at his side. Kankurou was snickering towards Chouji about his obese-ness.
"It's nothing," Gaara turned around and started to walk towards his office, which, like in Konoha, was also an Academy.

As they reached the building, Kankurou turned to both Neji and Chouji. "What do you need a compass for, anyways? Where are you going?" He inquired. His inquisitiveness was getting the better of him.

"The Land of Waffles," Neji said, quite seriously. Kankurou studied both of their expressions, and found they were somber.

"The Land of Waffles? Ahaha!" Kankurou burst into laughs. Gaara turned around and gave them a look. "Gaara, did you hear that? They're going to the Land of Waffles!"

"I'm not giving you a compass," Was his simple, instant reply. He narrowed his eyes, black outlined. He didn't think this was very amusing. Kankurou zipped his lip.

"Why not?" Chouji asked, looking frantic. He and Neji exchanged glances. They were shaken. Why wasn't Gaara letting them use a compass? What was wrong with the Land of Waffles?

"You don't need one. Go back to Konohagakure."

"Wha--"

That was when they remembered. Tsunade was rather plastered when she had assigned this mission to them.

"Is there a Land of Waffles?" Neji sighed, then put his hand to his head. As he peeked up to see Gaara's answer, which was a shake of his head. "Oh Gawd."

"Yes there is!" Chouji pouted, reaching into his knapsack, and pulling out 'Mochi-Chan.' He walked next to the Kazekage and his brother, a stomp in his step, as he whipped out the map. "Right here. Look."

"You're overlooking me; I'm the Kazekage. I make no mistakes about my Land." He flipped the book over to its backside and pointed to a little word that read, 'Children's Fiction.'

-

"You're Amai? Why didn't you tell us in the first place?" Naruto gave a grin. Tenten smiled, with hopes of getting this over with promptly, maybe getting a meal out of this girl, and getting home.
The little monkey hopped onto Naruto's head and poked at his Hitai-ate. Naruto gave a blink. He fought the urge to rip the little creature off of his head and--

"I'm not Amai," The girl said, folding her arms with a juvenile smirk on her face. "Amai's on your head. He's a monkey. You're to take him across the water to Kumogakure, because he's wanted in a zoo there. Aww, we're going to miss Amai here, but I hear it's just for a little while… Thank you so much!"

"A monkey…" Naruto squinted his eyes towards her in disbelief. "You want us to take a monkey to Kumogakure. Why? Why can't you do it?"

"Well, Amai's a really popular creature, and the ninja leader there or whatever… He suggested it… He said that his Land needed Amai, and he bought it from us, and paid us extra to pay to you, to make sure he got there safe and sound."

Amai chirped and jumped onto Tenten's shoulder, curling his tail around her neck to keep himself supported on her. Naruto unrelentingly argued on how this was a dumb issue, and how he wanted to get paid extra 'right this moment' because Amai was a monkey, however he was thrown out of the Park by security. Tenten, with Amai on her shoulder, just followed him out, and started on towards the dock, where a boat would take them to Kumo.

"This is stupid, just stupid," Naruto complained transparently. "This cannot get any worse, I swear!"

"Amai's cute, though," She was absolutely smitten with the tiny creature, petting it and itching under his chin. "And it makes sense. We were hired to walk dogs when we were Genin, and now we're just delivering a monkey to a Land sort-of far off from Kiri. It's the same thing, but now we're getting paid."

"But… You're saying you liked to walk dogs?" Naruto had a plan. He would make Tenten just as despondent as himself, so that maybe they would ditch the mission. However, Tenten didn't have that alternative option on her mind.

"Of course not. No one did."

"You said yourself it was the same thing! We had a long time getting here. We took the bridge. We're hungry, tired. You have no luggage!"

"I know, but it's better than--"

When they arrived to the dock, the boat that was waiting for them was the same creepy old man who was offering them a ride to Kiri in the first place. Tenten stopped abruptly, then looked around, heatedly, hoping for there to be a bridge.

"Ain't no bridge this time, missy," The guy grinned, then made more room in the tiny boat for the Shinobi. "You an' them monkeys gotta' be in this boat, now. And I need some payin', too."
"We don't have any money," Naruto glared, not getting the monkey statement that was said about him. The guy just kept on grinning.

"I'll accept somethin' else, too. Jus' get yourselves into the boat."

Tenten exchanged glances with Naruto. He shrugged and headed into the boat. After a hiatus, the kunoichi joined him, and the monkey jumped off her shoulder and curled up to sleep on Naruto's lap. Though Amai was cute, Naruto had surely jinxed them, for when he said it couldn't have been worse. It had gotten past that.

"Thanks for washin' my boat, kids. If you ever need a free ride, I'll be here, eh! Good luck, youngins'!" The old guy admired his boat, not as grungy looking as before, as he waved farewell to Naruto and Tenten. Since they had no money, the Shinobi had to clean the boat in its place.

They had ridden the boat all night, but were too jittery to sleep. The only one that had gotten rest was Amai, who was now wide awake, running back and forth around them, scurrying into the green bushes to grab some berries, and then joining them on their heads as they walked to Kumo, that early morning.

Though the two of them were hungry, they decided to grab a bite to eat and then take off without paying when they got to Kumogakure, after they delivered the monkey to the zoo. That would be the plan, though it wasn't a very intelligent one. Nonetheless, it was almost fool proof, with their Shinobi tactics… Unless they pulled another 'Hyuuga-clan' screw up.

Well. They traveled another night (where they decided to sleep under the trees with Amai), then another day. That afternoon, they arrived, and Amai was brought to a cute little zoo, where there were other monkeys of his breed. Then Naruto and Tenten ate a slough of food at the nearest diner, and walked straight out the door without anyone noticing. Man, those Kumo-goers were stupid.

A few days anon, Tenten and Naruto returned. 'Got paid, as well, but nothing big, which Naruto fumed over. Tenten went home to change for the first time in almost two weeks, it seemed. She was freshened up, and later began to hang out with Neji (who had also just returned from his tiring mission), once more.

Chouji returned to Ino and Shikamaru, still hanging out outside the Yamanaka's Flower Shop, on the verge of tears with an enormously hungry stomach. As they joined him in a great feast at Ichiraku's Noodle Bar where Naruto was chowing down, the poor Akimichi was on the verge of tears with the news that 'Moshi Moshi, Mochi-Chan' was a illusory tale, and that the Land of Waffles was even more imagined than Tsunade quitting drinking and gambling altogether.

Even though, at the end of that day, Tsunade (sober at the time) had called in the next two victims, who would be going on a week's worth of one hellish mission; Followed by another group of two kunoichis, who would be sharing the week together in a mission frenzy…