The Gym membership: Canadian?

Bella: Why are we going to a gym?

Esme: I don't know.

Alice: Emmett joined a gym.

Esme: Why?

Alice: Cause he's Emmett.

Bella and Esme: Ohh.

Carlisle: Come girls, let's go.

(Rosalie comes down stairs in a reveling juicy couture jump suit)

Carlisle: What are you wearing?

Rosalie: My gym clothes.

Carlisle: Did Emmett tell you what happened to us when we went?

Rosalie: He told me exactly what happened.

Carlisle: Just get in the car.

Alice: Are you sure this is a good idea?

Carlisle: yes Alice, I am positive, it will be just fine as long as we don't show off too much.

Alice: Tell that to Rosalie.

Bella: Come on, let's get this over with.

They arrived at the gym.

Bella: Wow, this is nice.

Random woman's thoughts: Damn he's fine; I'd like a piece of that.

(Edward kisses Bella passionately)

Bella: Wow.

What was that for?

Edward: No reason.

R.W.T.: Aw damn.

Carlisle: Esme and I are going to take couples yoga.

Emmett: Sweet, come on Jasper let's go take couples yoga.

Jasper: No.

Emmett: Why?

Jasper: Because we are not a couple.

Emmett: We could pretend to be one, so crazy ladies won't hit on us.

(Jasper looked at him for a second)

Jasper: Fine.

Emmett: Yay!

Alice: Jasper!

Jasper: Sorry Alice.

(Emmett grabbed Jaspers hand and started running to the yoga room)

Bella: That is not right.

Alice: No.

Rosalie: I'm going to take aerobics, come on Bella take it with me.

(Rosalie took Bella's hand and went to the aerobics room)

Alice: What do you want to do?

Edward: I'm going to hit that punching bag with as little strength as possible.

Alice: I'm going to run really slow on that treadmill.

Edward: Meet back here in a half hour?

Alice: Sure.

Back with Rosalie and Bella.

Bella: I'm surprised you asked me to take aerobics with you.

Rosalie: I decided we needed to bond.

Bella: Really?

Rosalie: No I just wanted someone who wouldn't distract the guys.

Emmett and I have a bet.

Bella: But he's pretending to be gay.

Rosalie: Exactly.

Bella: Oh, you're betting on how many guys will-

That's not right.

Rosalie: I know, but there is nothing better to do at a gym.

Bella: True.

Instructor: Hello everyone, I'm Josie.

How are you guys today?

(No one answered)

Josie: So it's that kind of class.

Rosalie: Just start the class already!

Josie: Okay.

(Josie put on the song promiscuous)

Bella: Ugh, I hate this song.

Rosalie: Me too.

Hey Josie change the song, it sucks.

Josie: Okay, how about this?

(She put on stars are blind)

Everyone in the room: What is wrong with you?

Josie: What?

Rosalie: Okay that's it, I'm teaching this class.

(Rosalie got her ipod out and hooked it up to the stereo and put the song icky thump)

Rosalie: How about this, now let's do some jumping jacks to warm up.

Back with Edward and his punching bag.

Random guy: Hey pretty boy, you been hogging the bag for too long.

Edward: Seriously?

R.G: What?

Edward: You do know that there is another bag right there.

R.G.: So I want that bag.

Edward: Okay, I'll use that bag.

(Edward started punching the other bag.)

Edward: Do you need something?

R.G.: I want that bag.

Edward: But you have that bag.

R.G.: But I want that bag.

Edward: Okay, fine have it.

(Esme appears)

Esme: What is going on?

Edward: This man keeps wanting my punching bag.

R.G.: Well hello there pretty lady.

I'm Dan.

Esme: Esme.

Are you picking on my son?

Dan: This is your son?

Esme: Yes.

Dan: Well, I did not see that coming.

Esme: Please don't provoke my son.

Edward: Oh you shouldn't have said that.

Dan: Provoke him?

Esme: I see what you mean.

Dan: That little rodent.

Edward: Don't kill him, don't kill him.

Esme: Look, Dan is it?

I think you should punch the bag you have and leave my son alone.

(Carlisle appears)

Carlisle: What is going on?

Esme: This man is picking on Edward, and hitting on me.

Carlisle: Alright.

Sir please abstain from hitting on my wife and picking on my son.

Dan: You're his father?

Carlisle: Yes.

Dan: How old were you two when you had him?

Carlisle: Adopted parents.

Dan: That's the only way that makes sense.

(Rosalie and Bella appear)

Rosalie: What's going on?

Dan: Well hello there.

Bella: That makes seven.

Rosalie: I'm so beating Emmett this time.

Dan: What's your name?

Rosalie: Sorry hun, I'm married.

Dan: To him?

Rosalie: No, he's my brother.

Dan: To him?

Rosalie: No, that's my father.

Dan: Man, you got good looking kids.

(Emmett and Jasper appear holding hands)

Emmett: That was as fun as the last time.

Wasn't it Jazzy poo?

Jasper: Stop calling me that.

Rosalie: There is my husband now.

Dan: That guy?

Rosalie: Oh he's just pretending to be gay for a bet.

Speaking of, how many?

Emmett: Nine guys hit on me.

Rosalie: Seriously?

Emmett: Yeah.

How many hit on you?

Rosalie: Oh about that.

Bella: Seven.

Emmett: Score!

Jasper: I beat all of you; I got fifteen guys and twelve girls.

(Alice who just appeared clears her throat)

Jasper: Oh hi Alice.

Alice: You are a very bad boy, Jasper.

Jasper: I know.

Dan: Who are you?

Carlisle: They are my other children.

Dan: You aren't by any chance Canadian, are you?

Carlisle: No.

Dan: Sorry man, I'll go.

Edward: Bye.

Bella: Well that wasn't weird.

Rosalie: Not at all.

Just so you know I mean no offence to Canadians, Dan is just a rasist and an idiot.

Okay, until next time, I hope you liked it.

Please review.