The Gym membership: Canadian?
Bella: Why are we going to a gym?
Esme: I don't know.
Alice: Emmett joined a gym.
Esme: Why?
Alice: Cause he's Emmett.
Bella and Esme: Ohh.
Carlisle: Come girls, let's go.
(Rosalie comes down stairs in a reveling juicy couture jump suit)
Carlisle: What are you wearing?
Rosalie: My gym clothes.
Carlisle: Did Emmett tell you what happened to us when we went?
Rosalie: He told me exactly what happened.
Carlisle: Just get in the car.
Alice: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Carlisle: yes Alice, I am positive, it will be just fine as long as we don't show off too much.
Alice: Tell that to Rosalie.
Bella: Come on, let's get this over with.
They arrived at the gym.
Bella: Wow, this is nice.
Random woman's thoughts: Damn he's fine; I'd like a piece of that.
(Edward kisses Bella passionately)
Bella: Wow.
What was that for?
Edward: No reason.
R.W.T.: Aw damn.
Carlisle: Esme and I are going to take couples yoga.
Emmett: Sweet, come on Jasper let's go take couples yoga.
Jasper: No.
Emmett: Why?
Jasper: Because we are not a couple.
Emmett: We could pretend to be one, so crazy ladies won't hit on us.
(Jasper looked at him for a second)
Jasper: Fine.
Emmett: Yay!
Alice: Jasper!
Jasper: Sorry Alice.
(Emmett grabbed Jaspers hand and started running to the yoga room)
Bella: That is not right.
Alice: No.
Rosalie: I'm going to take aerobics, come on Bella take it with me.
(Rosalie took Bella's hand and went to the aerobics room)
Alice: What do you want to do?
Edward: I'm going to hit that punching bag with as little strength as possible.
Alice: I'm going to run really slow on that treadmill.
Edward: Meet back here in a half hour?
Alice: Sure.
Back with Rosalie and Bella.
Bella: I'm surprised you asked me to take aerobics with you.
Rosalie: I decided we needed to bond.
Bella: Really?
Rosalie: No I just wanted someone who wouldn't distract the guys.
Emmett and I have a bet.
Bella: But he's pretending to be gay.
Rosalie: Exactly.
Bella: Oh, you're betting on how many guys will-
That's not right.
Rosalie: I know, but there is nothing better to do at a gym.
Bella: True.
Instructor: Hello everyone, I'm Josie.
How are you guys today?
(No one answered)
Josie: So it's that kind of class.
Rosalie: Just start the class already!
Josie: Okay.
(Josie put on the song promiscuous)
Bella: Ugh, I hate this song.
Rosalie: Me too.
Hey Josie change the song, it sucks.
Josie: Okay, how about this?
(She put on stars are blind)
Everyone in the room: What is wrong with you?
Josie: What?
Rosalie: Okay that's it, I'm teaching this class.
(Rosalie got her ipod out and hooked it up to the stereo and put the song icky thump)
Rosalie: How about this, now let's do some jumping jacks to warm up.
Back with Edward and his punching bag.
Random guy: Hey pretty boy, you been hogging the bag for too long.
Edward: Seriously?
R.G: What?
Edward: You do know that there is another bag right there.
R.G.: So I want that bag.
Edward: Okay, I'll use that bag.
(Edward started punching the other bag.)
Edward: Do you need something?
R.G.: I want that bag.
Edward: But you have that bag.
R.G.: But I want that bag.
Edward: Okay, fine have it.
(Esme appears)
Esme: What is going on?
Edward: This man keeps wanting my punching bag.
R.G.: Well hello there pretty lady.
I'm Dan.
Esme: Esme.
Are you picking on my son?
Dan: This is your son?
Esme: Yes.
Dan: Well, I did not see that coming.
Esme: Please don't provoke my son.
Edward: Oh you shouldn't have said that.
Dan: Provoke him?
Esme: I see what you mean.
Dan: That little rodent.
Edward: Don't kill him, don't kill him.
Esme: Look, Dan is it?
I think you should punch the bag you have and leave my son alone.
(Carlisle appears)
Carlisle: What is going on?
Esme: This man is picking on Edward, and hitting on me.
Carlisle: Alright.
Sir please abstain from hitting on my wife and picking on my son.
Dan: You're his father?
Carlisle: Yes.
Dan: How old were you two when you had him?
Carlisle: Adopted parents.
Dan: That's the only way that makes sense.
(Rosalie and Bella appear)
Rosalie: What's going on?
Dan: Well hello there.
Bella: That makes seven.
Rosalie: I'm so beating Emmett this time.
Dan: What's your name?
Rosalie: Sorry hun, I'm married.
Dan: To him?
Rosalie: No, he's my brother.
Dan: To him?
Rosalie: No, that's my father.
Dan: Man, you got good looking kids.
(Emmett and Jasper appear holding hands)
Emmett: That was as fun as the last time.
Wasn't it Jazzy poo?
Jasper: Stop calling me that.
Rosalie: There is my husband now.
Dan: That guy?
Rosalie: Oh he's just pretending to be gay for a bet.
Speaking of, how many?
Emmett: Nine guys hit on me.
Rosalie: Seriously?
Emmett: Yeah.
How many hit on you?
Rosalie: Oh about that.
Bella: Seven.
Emmett: Score!
Jasper: I beat all of you; I got fifteen guys and twelve girls.
(Alice who just appeared clears her throat)
Jasper: Oh hi Alice.
Alice: You are a very bad boy, Jasper.
Jasper: I know.
Dan: Who are you?
Carlisle: They are my other children.
Dan: You aren't by any chance Canadian, are you?
Carlisle: No.
Dan: Sorry man, I'll go.
Edward: Bye.
Bella: Well that wasn't weird.
Rosalie: Not at all.
Just so you know I mean no offence to Canadians, Dan is just a rasist and an idiot.
Okay, until next time, I hope you liked it.
Please review.
