Jealous
She has the nerve to stand in front of me and start a fight right here in the work place, she has the nerve to tell me that I am jealous about all successful relationships around me just because my marriage to Maria didn't work out. I am not a man to pick a fight with a woman, I have been known to have anger problems but after witnessing my father taking his fists to my mother and soon after me I know not to get too heated when it comes to a fight with a woman, but yet here she is getting my blood boiling and I am not opposing, she is ready for a fight and that is exactly what I am going to give her, Amanda Rollins is officially the exception to everything in my book now. "You really think I am jealous of everyone else's happiness?" How could she be that vain, I want my friends to be happy of course but how can she be blind to the fact that I may be upset about another thing, maybe I am upset that she is screwing her sponsor when just last week she was crawling into bed with me.
I lay down in my bed and look up at the ceiling, I can't stop thinking about how empty this house is now. No Zara and definitely no Maria, they haven't been here in weeks and yet I still have trouble falling asleep every night. I suddenly hear a heavy knocking on the door and I get out of bed, I look to the clock that sits on the nightstand that is next to my bed, the clock reads 1:00 and as I get out of bed and make my way to the door all I can think is who the hell is knocking at this hour? I check the peephole and see the blond hair from the person standing on the other side of the door. I open it up and she is standing there looking breathtaking, she is wearing casual cloths, hell the same cloths from our day at work and yet she still manages to stun me with her beauty. "Amanda, what are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood" I can smell the alcohol on her breath and know she came straight from a bar, or even possibly a club where she was gambling again, either way it is clear she has had way to much to drink.
"At 1 AM?" she looks confused and I don't know if it's from the booze or her having lost track of time, maybe both.
"Is it really that late already?"
"Yeah" she stands outside the door and waits for me to invite her in, at least she is a polite drunk. "Do you want to come in?" she doesn't answer but walks inside and takes a look around
"Wow, you have a nice place"
"Thanks" I now realize that this is the first time she has been to my house before and also the first time we have been alone together when it wasn't concerning work. I turn on a couple of lights in case she feels pressured in any way and make my way into the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" I remember she just stumbled onto my door step reeking of booze and I don't think a drink would do her any good at this point "I'll get you some water" I call behind me and grab a glass and fill it with water, I take it back out into the living room to her and find her sitting on the couch without her coat, she hasn't even been in my house five minutes and already an article of cloths has already been removed. I hand her the water and sit down next to her, I leave enough space between us to make her feel comfortable, I am always wondering why I want her to feel so safe around me, I know she trusts me already but sometimes that isn't enough.
"Thanks for the water" she drinks the whole glass quickly and sets the empty glass down on the table in front of us, I'm hoping this will help her sober up some but we both know those tricks don't actually work.
"No problem, now can you tell me the real reason you came here?" I wait for her answer and part of me wants her to say she came for me, that side of me is the same one who has been trying to push down the feelings I have for her for weeks now.
"I was a bit lonely" we both are, she lives on her own too, unless a dog counts but still that isn't the same and we both know that.
"And had a little too much to drink?"
"Yes, a little too much to drink" she laughs her drunken laugh after repeating back to me what I had just said to her
"Were you gambling again?"
"Let's not talk about that now Nick" it had always bugged her how interested I had been in some of her personal things but I know deep down she appreciated the concern. I don't take her answer as admitting the truth about gambling again, just that she didn't want to ruin a good moment between us, and for not I am willing to accept that. She stands up and is wobbly as she tries to walk back towards my front door "I should probably go" she hits the side of a chair and stumbles but I am up quick and catch her, I help her find her balance and hold her in my arms.
"I think you should probably stay" our lips are just a few inches from each other and I could easily break the distance between us and do what I have been wanting to do for a while now, I look into her blue eyes and for a second I can almost forget about how drunk she is right now. That's when I remember exactly how drunk she is and about how I don't take advantage of girls that are under the influence. I pull away and help her over to the couch. "It's late, so why don't you just sleep on the couch" she nods her head and I go into my room to find a spare blanket and pillow, I try and forget the feeling of holding her in my arms knowing that nothing can happen, not tonight at least. I come back out blanket and pillow in hand and find her sitting on the couch and her shoes scattered across the floor, I lay her pillow down on the couch and she makes no movement so I lay the blanket on top of her. As I go to lay the blanket down my shoulder brushes against her hair and she looks up at me and then her lips are on mine.
I don't know who was the one to break the distance but we are now kissing, I am actually kissing Amanda Rollins right now. She holds her hands over my face and kisses me over and over again, they get hungrier every time her lips find mine again and soon my tongue is exploring her mouth. She pulls me down on top of her and my hands explore her body, every inch and curve is covered by my fingerprints. I pull away from her lips and start to kiss down her neck, I hear her moan and feel the vibrations coming from her throat as I give her sweet and gentle kisses. I kiss down to her breasts and am about to go further when I remember why she is here in the first place, I pull away and look down on her "I can't, your drunk"
"You and I both know that this has been coming for a while now" just moments ago we were sitting side by side on my couch as coworkers and now I am on top of her finding out that these feelings haven't been just one sided. I resume kissing the tops of her breasts that are reviled in the top she is wearing and I feel her running her fingers through my hair.
"I have wanted this for so long"
"Me too" she pulls her shirt over her head and I do the same, we toss our shirts and I can hear them land of the floor somewhere. I look down at her bra and kiss down her breasts and onto her stomach, I murmur the word beautiful and feel the goosebumps that form underneath my touch. She sits up and I think she is about to leave, telling me it was a mistake and that she was wrong about her feelings for me but instead she kisses me and then stands up from the couch and takes my hand, leading me to the bedroom. Our pants are removed on the way to my bedroom and are left in a trail leading to us, we get to bedroom in only our underwear and she stands in front of the bed looking around at the room. I come up from behind her as she tries to unhook her bra unsuccessfully and kiss her shoulders as I do it for her. Soon we are both completely naked and I am still taking in all of her beauty as I lean over her in my bed, I realize that the last person to share this bed with me was Maria, she was the last person I had sex with in this bed too, but as soon as I lean in that's all over. I look down at her and try to look serious
"Amanda are you sure that you want to do this?" She knows I would never hurt her and I can see the willingness in her eyes, she wants this bad but I still need to make sure this is the way she wants it, our first time together to be when she is drunk.
"Yes Nick I am sure" she says it sweetly but also manages to sound impatient at the same time. I slowly lean inside her and kiss her over and over knowing that she got me to break one of my rules and that this wouldn't be the last time I broke a rule for Amanda, that's just the thing that we have both known for a while now, being with her is already breaking all of the rules.
We haven't spoken of it since that night and I know she is in no mood too now. Knowing that she is now fucking her sponsor and wasn't a week ago means that she probably was gambling that night and me reminding her probably drove her right into Nate's arms. I was such an idiot, how could I have fallen for this stubborn and hot headed woman who obviously hadn't made up her feeling for me yet if she is now in the arms of some other man. I listen to her continue to scream at me and can feel my temperature rising, I think I should walk away now. Fin solves that problem for me by coming into the room "You guys need to calm down, everyone can hear you outside" she walks right up to me and just as quickly walks away, I think she is done with me but she turns around and leaves one final blow
"Your not my father" I notice how she hesitated before she said father, we both know she wanted to say and meant to say boyfriend, but Fin was here and no one could know that we slept together. She says the same thing to Fin and then walks away in a tizzy, I reduce my urge to punch a wall right now as I walk away from the room leaving the argument behind. How could she think I was jealous? It was only once that we were together and I know that we aren't in a relationship but I still make a mental note to kick Nate's ass the next time I run into him.
