The Queen of Broken Hearts

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

Disclaimer: We, the Storytellers, did not write A Midsummer's Night Dream. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

Chapter Two

Later. The Pendleton Auditorium, with the whole gang, sans Moira.

Jessica: Alright. What the hell is this? I sacrificed two hours of my life for this?!

Jennifer: It's for a good cause Jess.

Jessica: I guess children are a good cause.

Crys: Yeah.

Wufei: Can we get this over with already?

Jessica: Oh geez.

(Before any fights can start, Moira comes in with a bald man holding a script.)

Moira: Um, good evening you guys.

Danie: Mind telling us what's going on here?

Moira: Well, first off, I just want to let you guys know that our last play was a hit with the audience. They loved it.

Heero: You must be joking...the last one was a disaster.

Ace: Actually, it wasn't. It was the most crowded show the Pendleton Auditorium has seen since the fifties.

Duo: Gosh...

Jessica: So what does this mean?

Moira: Well, to follow in the wake of that success, we are planning to do another.

Wufei: Count me out of it.

Heero: That goes double for me.

Moira: Aw come on, you two.

Jessica: What play are we doing?

Moira: A Midsummer's Night Dream.

Crys: Oh I like that one!

Heero: That one's worse than the last one!

Jennifer: Agree to disagree...

Moira: Well, we wanted to do a comedy, and they didn't have much success with the others so we decided on this one.

Danie: Aw man...

Wufei: (crosses arms.) You can still count me out. I'm not going to do this.

Moira: Oh yes you are Wufei. You have to do it.

Jessica: Yeah, dammit, if I have to do it, you have to too.

Wufei: You can't make me.

Crys: We sure as hell can!

Wufei: (glares at Crys.) If you weren't Yuy's sister I would beat you right now.

Crys: (crosses arms.) Beat me and you're dead from two beatings...Heero AND Quatre.

Wufei: (shrugs) Whatever.

Moira: Alright now what we've got your consent--

(Moira cannot finish because the door opens. The G-Girls walk in.)

Crys: (sighs) Just when everything was going good...THEY had to show up...

Relena: Are we late for rehearsals?

Ace: (Disconcerted) Um...no...

Moira: Um, why don't you just take a seat here--

(Moira cannot finish because the girls rush to the seats. Relena sits by Heero, Hilde by Duo, Catherine by Trowa, Dorothy by Quatre, and Sally by Wufei. Moira sighs in disbelief.)

Moira: Um...

Crys: (pulls Dorothy out of her seat.) Stay away from my husband you tramp! (sits next to Quatre.)

(Dorothy glares, then sits in a seat behind Quatre.)

Moira: Um, alright. I guess we'll go on with rehearsals. (Looks on clipboard.) And we have...

Relena: (Standing) Before you finish, I would just like to nominate myself to play the lead.

Hilde: (Excitedly) I second it!

Dorothy: Me too! I want a part with Quatre!

Crys: (glaring at her.) Don't EVEN think about it...

Quatre: (To Crys.) Relax Crys. Remember you're still pregnant.

Crys: I may be pregnant but I'll still kick your ass Dorothy if you come near my husband! Got it?

Dorothy: Yeah whatever.

Moira: Um, let's see how things turn out, shall we?

Relena: Fine. (Sits down.)

Moira: (Under her breath) Oh geez... (Aloud) Um, I would like to see Danie reading the part of Helena, and Heero reading the part of Demetrius.

Danie: What?! With him?

Heero: Believe me the feeling is mutual.

Danie: I wouldn't talk, Spandex Boy.

Relena: Leave him alone!

Danie: Aw shut up. Don't let me get on you.

Moira: Can we please have peace?

Danie: Maybe.

Moira: Danie?! Or I'll make Relena read with Heero.

(Relena brightens.)

Heero: Hell no. Danie, you're reading. Deal with it.

Danie: Damn you, Heero. You can't make me.

Heero: I can and I will.

Danie: (Hands on hips) Try me, Yuy. Betcha you can't.

Crys: (slaps forehead.) Here we go again...just read the damn parts for crying out loud!

Heero: (ignoring Crys. To Danie. ) I bet you I can.

Danie: Fine. You're on. If you can't, I'm leaving and you can read with your lovely Relena.

Crys: Would you two cut it out and just read the damn scene!!!!

(They pause.)

Moira: Here are your scripts. Ace and I will make up the other parts. We're reading from Act IV, Scene I.

(Danie and Heero take a moment to look at the script. Their eyes widen.)

Danie: But--?!

Ace: Let's just proceed, shall we? (As Lysander) My lord, I shall reply amazedly, half sleep, half waking: but as yet, I swear, I cannot truly say how I came here; but, as I think,--for truly would I speak, and now do I bethink me, so it is--I came with Hermia hither: our intent was to be gone from Athens, where we might, without the peril of the Athenian law.

Moira: (As Egeus) Enough, enough, my lord; you have enough: I beg the law, the law, upon his head...you of your wife and me of my consent, of my consent that she should be your wife.

Heero: My lord, fair Helen told me of their stealth, Of this their purpose hither to this wood; And I in fury hither follow'd them, Fair Helena in fancy following me. But, my good lord, I wot not by what power,--But by some power it is,--my love to Hermia, melted as the snow, seems to me now As the remembrance of an idle gaud which in my childhood I did dote upon; And all the faith, the virtue of my heart, the object and the pleasure of mine eye, is only Helena.. (eyes script.) Now way in hell am I kissing her...

Moira: Kiss her.

Danie: He's not kissing me.

Ace: Kiss, dammit!

Heero: Go to hell. I AM NOT kissing her!

Moira: DO IT!!!

Heero: Give me ONE good reason why I should.

Moira: Because if you don't I'll tell everyone about the OTHER drunken Heero episode.

(Pause.)

Heero: (sighs) Fine! (Kisses Danie.) There, happy?

Moira: Oh no. We must make it better. Like you mean it!

Heero: (Glares at Moira.) That's all you get. You don't like it you can go to hell and stay there.

Moira: (Sighing) Fine. Let's go on.

Moira: (As Hermia) Methinks I see these things with parted eye, when every thing seems double.

Danie: So methinks: and I have found Demetrius like a jewel, mine own, and not mine own. (Pauses.)

Moira: Um, Danie?

Danie: What? We kiss AGAIN?

Heero: We'll just skip it. Easy as that.

Moira: Nope. Gotta do it. (To Danie) Kiss him.

Danie: WHAT?! You crazy!

Moira: Kiss him, Danie, or the whole world'll know about the THONGS.

(Danie sighs heavily. She turns to Heero and kisses him. Silence again falls on the Auditorium.)

Ace: Damn she's good.

Heero: (pushes Danie away.) That's it. I'm not reading anymore.

Crys: Aw come on Heero, you know you liked it.

Heero: I believe that MY business. Not yours.

Crys: Oh so you DID like it!

Heero: I did NOT! Now shut the hell up, I'm already in a bad mood don't make it worse.

Moira: Um, I think that's it for now...