I do not own Kim Possible or anything related to the show, this is fanfiction I also don't own Conan (plus that line comes originally from Attila the hun).
Theme for this chapter: Sweat
"I told them not to hold this reunion in the old gym, were just too crowded in here. It's too hot I can smell the sweat on all these people" said a blonde woman in a red cocktail dress to the man who was sitting near hear leaning on the wall.
"It's for nostalgia's sake honey, although I'm not so sure why most of our old classmates came back, it's not like any of them have to show off. All I see is just extra pounds, lousy anonymous jobs behind some desk and spouses found via the grace of the internet which has deemed to unite all losers everywhere in one web."
"Heh I love it when you're mean to the geeks John " she said with a cat like grin " really takes me back to the good old days."
"Oh please, you're one ex-cheerleader who didn't hit her her prime in high school you've still got the body, you teach gym and you're paid to run your old squad now as the coach ... "
"Yeah now the only complaint is that my wonderful highschool boyfriend (and captain of the football team) ... whom I so graciously deigned to make my husband ... can't stop spouting exposition at me ... about my own life no less. " the blonde responded.
"Just call me Sergeant Exposition." he said with a wink.
The continued taking stock of their former schoolmates until a shifty eyed man sneaked up to them and started whispering in their direction all the while desperately trying to seem to be minding his own business.
"Johnny, uhm hello and Cassie you're looking lovely ... John I head you're in the police now ? "
"Yeah, so what's it to you nerdlinger ?" John vaguely seemed to remember the man as the captain of the chess team.
"Oh god, thank you ... " he said now looking directly at them and speaking like someone was holding a gun to his head " Drew ... Drew Theodore Lipsky is back he's here I met him gulp and his date they entered the gym right behind me ... oh god he recognised me ... "
"Stop it man ! You're ranting .. why should I care about this Drew guy ? Except insofar as I don't remember a Drew in our year and I don't abide party crashers."
"Drew was that little kid prodigy who skipped I don't know how manny years in middle school " the chess champion began to explain " and only stayed in high school for our final two years. Come on you've got to remember not even we chess geeks could stand how smug he was about his self proclaimed 'brilliance' and gave him wedgies."
"I remember him ... " Cassie said " he had the nerve to ask me to the prom, I mean if it wasn't well known I was dating the John, did he even start puberty back then ? " she then started chuckling softly.
"I really layed it unto him, I think I held him up for 20 minutes explaining why there was no chanche in hell he could ever get a date with me, another girl at the school or someone with a XX chromosome in general."
"That's my girl!" her husband said placing a quick peck on her cheek.
"I remember he had been sweating as he asked me out, and as I gave him my mind it just became a downpour I think he had to visit the nurse for dehydration." the blonde finished her stroll down memory lane
"Focus ! The thing is after he went to college, he dropped out ... THEN HE BECAME A SUPERVILLAIN ... He's called Dr Drakken now ... and ... we ... have ... a certified ...evil genius... here. " The chess captain said slowly for emphasis then panic again overtook him "Whatis hegonna do? Canwerun ? Doeshe have a a deathray ?"
As if on cue a bright blue pony tailed man, wairing a black lab coat with some white trimmings it's color scheme seeming to be a a imitation of a tuxedo, passed the group by, nodding in their general as if he vaguely remembered them but not wanting to stop and chat.
At his side was a slender woman with a luxurious maine of black hair, wearing a revealing green dress which only highlighted her unnatural complexion, in contrast with Drakken's neutral slightly bored expression her eyes showed only annoyance.
The two were walking close together whispering conspiratorially as Drakken pointed to a man and a woman on the other side of the gym and they quickened their pace to reach them.
Earlier at the lair ...
Shego was busy scanning the newest issue of Cosmo, only reading the titles of the articles and maybe a few phrases she was saving actually reading the articles through and through until Drakken called her over to rant or explain his newest death ray "No, you don't see Shego this time the technobable of the protons will increase the speed which will result in Kim possible bla bla death ... doom the world will bow to me " for her the sound of his ranting was like some sort of mystical tibetan hymn increasing her own cerebral faculties until she completely understood why "X was the new black this summer".
"Shego ! I need you !"
With a heavy loud sigh the green villainess got up and went to see what had got the doc's panties in a twist.
"Ohh Shego honey when are you going to stop your dating spree and find a good man to settle down ? " Shego said to herself in a mock impression of her mothers voice " You can't even imagine how every chore becomes a small joy when you're sharing it with your partner!" she continued pausing just for a moment to imagine the shock on her moms face if she found out Drakken of all people was the only person who managed to survive her attitude ... thus managing to co-habitate with her.
It was a pleasing image, but she's never serve her mother that shock mostly because it would mean accepting that Drakken was the companion she'd spent the most time with outside of her brothers, and she was not going to subject herself to that depressing realisation.
"Maybe it's his delusion that he's my boss, maybe that's what's keeping him from bolting ?" she thought as she finally reached Drakken's private quarters. Which she entered to be greeted by the sight of Drakken half dressed, but mercifully decent, in his fancy party labcoat.
"What's the deal doc ?"
"Which bow tie do you think goes better with this coat ? " he said holding two nearly identical bawties.
"The one on your left."
She said this although they were practically identical, same model same size same material almost the same color, yet since she had chosen the one on the left that made it the inherently superior choice.
Drakken knew and accepted this, immediately trying to put it on.
Shego weighed her options, and decided if she left he would instantly call her back to help him with some other wardrobe related task he really should have mastered by now, thus waiting around Drakken's room until he was done would save her a trip.
"Why are you dressing all formal tough ... Need some info from Big Daddy ?" she asked eventually as to break the awkward silence, as apparently Drakken did not need further assistance and was in fact probably asking himself why was she still in his private quarters.
"No no, Shego this is the weekend afterall ... I just need to attend a more private uhmm affair. " the blue scientist said in a skitish manner.
"Hmmm ? " she began her mock senses tingling "Does the good doctor have a date hnn ?"
"It's none of your business." said Drakken in the kind of tone a nerd would ask a jock if they can skip the daily wedgie.
"Is it Amy ? Are she and Monty having trouble in paradise and you sly old dog want to swoop in and take advantage?
"Oh zip it Shego" he said in his usual retort tone.
"Did Mama Lipsky fix you up on a blind date ?"
"Uggh " Drakken began but realised a Shego curious about his personal life was not a scenario he'd ever encountered and he did not want to deal with unknown variables now exactly before the reunion "it's my highschool reunion."
"Oh really it's already been ... or shouldn't it have already ?"Shego said after a moment while trying to crunch some numbers in her head " hey Doc what's your age ? I mean you're the same age as Princess's dad, right ?"
"What ... no ... " he said straightening his back for a gloating position " Shego I am genius (I've been tested) I skipped years in school,highschool and college like you wouldn't believe !"
"Including the years when you would have gotten your diploma and actually graduated " she replied with a smirk.
"The point being this year is my reunion, even if I'm younger than all those guys it just makes all my accomplishments more outstanding!"
"Yeah about that ... doc you do remember you're a super-villain right ?"
"What is there a law against super-villains catching up with old friends ?"
"Technically no, what there will be probably is Global Justice agents or at least federal agents ready to take you the moment you set foot there." Shego remarked
"Pshaw I'm a big boy super-villain I can handle myself ! You can organise a few henchmen to accompany me though ... you know how George Lucas is followed everywhere by some guys in Storm Trooper armour ... it could be like that but much more cool. "
Shego just stood and looked at the man a bit, was he really so moony that he didn't realise it was the week-end already and all the henchmen had fled the lair, they were probably all drunk in some seedy bars by now.
The only ones in the whole lair were just herself and Drakken, again taking her mind back to her hypothetical discussion with her mother this time with extra chills down her spine, so she again weighted her options best case scenario nobody was out to get Drakken.
And she'd waste a evening worst case scenario Drakken was thrown in jail (or worse) and she'd need to waste multiple days on a rescue attempt (getting the info, scouting the place, bribes, getting extra fire power) .
It did her heart good to know that although the action she was taking, accompanying Drakken to his highschool reunion, was on some level insane she had rational reasons (not wasting time later) for doing it, reasons which were neither jealousy (that she would be sitting at home while he'd be out) or pathetic (a desire to protect Drakken beyond their working relationship).
"Fine you've talked me into it ... " she said in a voice which to her surprise did not contain tones of defeat.
"I ... what into what ? " he retorted a look of honest confusion on his face.
"I'll go with you to your reunion." she said in complete deadpan while also maintaining a neutral face.
"Uhhm really I thought you were going to say I should take some of our so called henchmen with me ?"
"It's Friday, they've all deserted ship."
"You're just doing this so you can bill me for extra hours, aren't you ?" he said raising one part of his monobrow in a "I'm unto you" fashion.
"Listen doc" she was not going to say that the comment stinged a little ... keeping up a ' mercenary who can just leave you at any second' attitude was one of her aces when dealing with Drakken "you may not have noticed but I already bill you for dragging me to karaoke night, so it's no skin off my nose."
"What ... you are ? ... grrr " for the record she wasn't but Drakken would probably forget to check " ok fine ! " he relented.
The mad scientist hoped he had put up enough token resistance for Shego not to notice that he was actually delighted that she would be his security detail this night. Not that he was ashamed of going alone, although he knew how society saw men who had finished college who had no stable partner "ugh stable romantic partner, for all the other things I have Shego" when he took up the mantle of super-villain he had found he could deflect almost all of society's scorn by his simple acceptance that he had become a crusader against mainstream society's shotcomings.
Most of the scorn, not all he was still human ... and a small part of him was satisfied every time when people mistook his and Shego's working relationship as also being romantic, satisfied in a "I could have been a contender way" obviously his mom, with her serious designs of hooking him up with Shego was an exception.
Still he silently, as he was sure Shego got no end of irritation from the same rumours and gossip, liked it when villains, especially Edd, would jump to the conclusion Shego was warming his bed back in the lair.
And now his former highschool "peers" would jump to the same conclusion but be too afraid of either his or Shego's ire to actually ask.
As these thoughts were speeding across the blue scientist's mind, Shego was internally trying to decide on her wardrobe which was a bit of a challenge in that she had such a short time frame and did not know the kind of scene she would be gracing. She felt just straight up asking Drew exactly what kind of small town hicks his former highschool buddies were seemed beneath her, so she decided to try something in a way more roundabout and in other a more direct route.
"Hey Drakken ... you've kind of seen all my finer dresses " oh god she just realised that was right did she need to expand her wardrobe or stop getting into formal dining situations with him " which one do you think I should wear ? "
"Uhhm..." he began hesitantly
Now this was a challenge for Drakken's brilliant mind, if there ever war any, if he said one which showed more skin he'd get plasma'd for being a perv and as well for implying she wasn't sexy and desirable enough already if he went the other way he would be saying she's not attractive enough and that he's a old timey prude who wants to keep women under wraps, no matter how he spun the issue he could see plasma in his future.
" I really like the green one." might as well not have an aneurism for a unsolvable problem.
"Aha " so he was saying that she would look good in anything and he was trusting her to choose, this was one of the reasons she stuck around with Drakken he was a hard mad scientist to train, but whenever she'd get him to make just a little tiny step she just lit up inside.
" Ok then see you by the hover car in 45 minutes."
Back in the present at the reunion ...
"So what are you going to do ?"
"Shh I'm thinking ... " said John in a hushed tone.
"John I really think we're not safe here I mean who comes to a reunion in a lab coat and his girlfriend or wife ... "
"Probably just mistress ... you know these evil types." argued Sean.
" I think I remember reading a article about her going from a heroine to a villain so she might be even worse than uh ... Drew."
"I think I've got a plan here, Cassie you said he tried to ask you out, was he obsessive about it or do you think he moved on ?"
"I don't remember him trying to find a date after I gave him a piece of my mind, so I guess he took the rejection to heart. Do you think he's come back for revenge ? " she said her eyes starting to go wide as chills ran down her back.
"No baby, we'd have gotten some 'mua ha ha' type of speech if he was here on super-villain business … but that doesn't mean he's forgotten you, no man really can." the police captain said with a huge grin on his face.
"Meaning ?" Cassie said as she wrapped her finger around his tie and was now dragging him down by it, the force she was putting into it a clear signal that her husband better chose his following words carefully.
"Do you know the term 'honey trap' ? "
"Apparently I don't because my dear … sweet … husband wouldn't even think of using his wife as bait just so he can brag he caught a super-villain right ?"
"Come on honey you'd come out looking the best out of this, a brave civilian stopping a international criminal I'm thinking an appearance on Oprah and a book deal at a minimum..."
Later in the gym ...
Shego had just finished pouring herself one coup full of whatever pseudo-punch substance they were serving here, and was trying to think up of the most roundabout route back to Drakken, normally visiting a high school reunion would be like hitting the vein of mocking gold as it were, all the people who knew you at your most vulnerable time at one place and ready to gossip.
The problem with Drakken was that he was that sort of person who voluntarily would offer her all the stories she'd ever want about his old life, pouring himself out to her seeking validation of his deeds and opinions even if the only think he received in 99% of cases from her was biting sarcasm.
Still that was one of the things that made them as partners work, usually villains would always have a secret agenda at the back of their mind and betrayal was inevitable yet with Drakken even if she'd walked out on him on some occasions after the heroes rode off and he had screamed enough she could feel safe that it was indeed water under the bridge.
As she still needed to confirm to herself that she was here only on a bodyguard type of mission and nothing more, she snuck a peek at where Drakken had been chatting with some old AV club acquaintances.
The scene which she saw was quite different than she expected, the crowd still gave way around the evil genius forming a pretty obvious "let's keep away from the dangerous weirdo zone" yet Drakken's conversation partner had changed from a married couple to a blonde in a red cocktail dress.
She seemed from a distance to be the kind of woman who took pride in her beauty and had gone to efforts to maintain it despite advancing in age "yeah she's an old hag compared to me and she's some years older than Drakken" Shego thought although to her eyes it seemed Drakken didn't mind.
Something was definitely up, the awkward feeling Shego felt in at the back of her stomach surely were her keenly developed senses alerting it couldn't possibly be anything else.
As she began making her way to the two Shego saw Drakken beginning to slip, he was talking more and more slowly as if he was having trouble thinking, although to a perfectly neutral observer as she it was clear it was the blonde's moves which were taking their effect even if the doc wasn't realizing it at a conscious level.
"Oh yeah I know that flip of her hair Cosmo June issue of this year" she thought as she was approaching, the crowd seeming to not want to part for her despite her obvious super powered nature.
Drakken had seemed to stop talking and was now completely on the defensive as the blonde was doing a finger walk with her hand on the poor doc's chest "Cosmo September issue man she's really bringing out the big guns" Shego noticed.
Drakken was now sweating and yet Shego was still too far she had noticed to a discrete sheen of sweat on the blonde's brow "ha it's obvious she's doing this as a sting ... wait what is she ... oh no, no no ... Cosmo's special February edition ... oh the hag's gonna burn for touching Doctor D. "
"Come on Drakken use that supposed evil genius of yours to figure out you're being played, when I was hitting on you because of the Moodulator ... oh no ... not going there ... " Shego was thinking then she willed that train of thought to cease.
"Oh but we must Drakken's in trouble you have to admit it... back then he was freaked out by you ... but ...this beautiful blonde bombshell had made him putty he's in danger now you must recognize " said a voice in her head which sounded annoyingly like her dumb overly righteous brother.
"Fine but how do I stop her Cosmo moves can be countered only by other Cosmo moves and there's no article for 'defending your boss from hussies' " she began to wonder, another annoying thought voice came up "Yep but there's like a thousand 'how to defend your man' articles in there" the voice of Mego countered.
She had unintentionally stopped as she was having this inner debate "but if I use those ... Drew is just a boss, a friend ... " and another realization hit her mind this time in the Wego's voices "Drew's gone you were too late."
Now Shego was openly running towards the exited she thought they had taken all her previous worries of how to break up their conversation in the most calm and professional manner forgotten.
The door was then blocked by a wall of pure ex-football jocks, five of them in total they had formed a clear defensive barrier intent on stopping her from getting to Drakken.
"Where you think you're going little missy ?"
This was an out and out organized effort i.e they were the enemy and Shego's fist were the only reply they deserved.
She was a bit relieved at this as her other replies of "off to save my boss's virginity and or heart from some hussy" just didn't sound good out loud.
Drakken indignant and she thought probably embarrassed yell had then given her a mark now that she was out in the hallway and she was closing in with full speed.
A guy in a suit was threatening Doc with a gun and waving a badge around while the blonde woman was simply smirking and looking pleased with herself.
Shego made short work of him, with a jump quick and a plasma bolt to disarm him Drakken reacted promptly to this turning of the tables and began to kick him when he went down.
They didn't need words just a look to divide their would be captors between them, Drakken taking the police captain to the nearest men's room to inflict the traditional dunking in the toilet of the loser and other traditional acts of jock on nerd violence but now with the roles reversed.
Which left his wife at Shego's not so tender mercies ...
After they exacted their vengeance and the sweetness of revenge began to dissipate they then met up at the exit.
"I guess you were right "Drakken began as he felt she was indeed and this was not the moment to be cheap with the praise ", I guess I better make this one worth it when salary day comes."
"You know doc " she was simply too tired to be excited by that prospect and honestly money had never came up in her mind when she was rushing to aid him so she didn't want it in the mix now " I don't want to take a page from Kimmie's book but let's just say you owe me a favour."
Epilogue (after quite some time)
A giant purple tinged face light up the screen in Dr. Drakken lair feeling the green tinged woman who was on monitor duty with annoyance
"Oh god Mego this had better be serious and I mean planetary threat level serious ... " shego said her voice dripping with annoyance.
"Would I be wasting my precious time and finding your stupid screen number if it weren't ?"
"Soo ... "
"Ahem my first high school reunion is this week-end and ... "
"You mean ours " not many cared to look into this but she and Mego were twins which meant it was also her reunion, her old friends.
"And well I know that since you're a villain now and single you'd probably not want to come in order to avoid the gossip ... so I was trying to be a nice brother and say I would join you in not showing up. "
This wasn't about her, or it mostly wasn't about her maybe he'd foreseen some slight benefit to her from him not showing up, hell she'd forgotten all about her damn reunion, but it was all about the Mego it was gnawing at him that he was still single and he was the one who was too ashamed to show up.
Well if he needed some hemp in not feeling ashamed about running away from their old peers he should have called another sister of his.
"Actually me and my date are coming, so please be a good bro and prepare my old room at the tower and ... I'll see you there."
"Shego ending her go-transmission" she said as she closed the line.
It was indeed a short time to get a date, and the favour she was going to cash in would take her into ... prickly territory but it would be so worth it.
Later that week at the Go High
"Oh my god Drew, you just wouldn't believe my luck. " she said to the blue man who had just drowned a coup of punch
"Huh what ?"
"Tell me do you know what's best in life ?" she asked.
"To crush your enemies ... " he began relishing a chance to recite the classics
"To see them driven before you yada yada ... come on I like this song " she said pulling him unto the dance floor and into a slow dance.
"But it's even better to see your old high school nemesis so sure of herself and her career " she said as she got very close to his chest almost sinking into him " to see her despair that the green weirdo has a boyfriend and she doesn't."
Drakken even knowing the strict "this is only a show, a deception" guidelines they'd agreed on before coming still could feel his heart pump faster due to the proximity and the word "boyfriend".
" ... and to see her desperate enough ... " she continued now her chin resting on his shoulder so she could look behind him " ... to go hit on my narcissist of a brother so she'll have someone to dance with" not even getting annoyed at how Drakken's shoulder was warming up from contact with her.
Author's notes.
First I want to say sorry for being so wishy washy with the timeline, I haven't had my high school reunion yet so I don't know how many years have to pass from your graduation plus the time might be different in the USA.
Secondly Shego's reunion is supposed to be her first, while Drakken's reunion is supposed to be the second of his generation, even tough as I've showed I played around with the time-line to make Drakken younger than he's supposed to be in canon, mostly because on my first watching of the series I skipped the episode which showed he was at college at the same time as Dr. Possible and I sure as hell never got he impression he was mature enough to be in the 40+ years range so in my head he was just in the same generic young adult/adult category as Shego.
