Wish
She wished things would stay as they were.
After all the events in her life, she finds herself wishing for stability; which is a quite a joke because she is a Shinobi of Konoha, stability was not an option. Nonetheless, she keeps on wishing, because memories are still very vivid in her mind: images of a dark-haired man whose soul was lost from her own. Images of whiskered cheeks lifting up in a smile, as a promise is proclaimed. And when things are somewhat calm and those she loves are around her, she finds pleasure in her situation, feeling as if her wishing made it so. But then she sees him and his lazy eyes. She sees him as he is constantly in her life: a stability. She realizes the strange excitement and tension. And that is when she has to remind herself that she wanted things to stay as they were, because it scares her that there is a growing part of her that begins to wish for certain things to change.
He wished this could be enough.
Their relationship was good. The trust was set and they had developed a comfortable situation: he was her ex-sensei and she was his ex-student. They were now partners, equal Shinobi of high rank and reputation. They had a situation that others called friendship, partnership, maybe even a strange duet. It didn't need to go beyond that. It was enough; clearly, it was enough. He enjoyed her company and she seemed to enjoy his. Even though he spent most of his time with her, it didn't mean anything. It was just comfortable, and he was a man who liked comfort. It was nothing special, really. And when he watches her cooking a meal for both of them, her small figure moving around her kitchen as he sits and looks, he finds himself reminding and convincing himself that it should be enough.
She wished she had only loved him.
She found herself desiring to be able to claim he was the first. She sees his perseverance in her life; his constant companionship. She suddenly understands that they are really close and have a history. She sees the mentor, but also the friend. She sees the Shinobi, but also the human. And she truly wishes she had loved him first; maybe even only him. It might have been easier, it might have made more sense. She finds herself wishing it more intensely when she sees him, for the first time, without the mask. It catches her completely off-guard, knowing he purposely allowed it. And she finds herself wishing she had loved him first when she realizes there was no mystery behind the mask; he was only a man.
He wished for simplicity.
He despised complications. He ignored the complexity of rituals, the elaborateness of words, and the incomprehensibility of people. He had avoided, throughout his life, the entanglements of relationships, whether friendship or more. He found himself keeping things at a distance, where he could be direct and not compromise his friendships. Where he could be indifferent, and not offend those around him, because he had never promised anything. Yet, he never expected to find the simplicity that complicated everything; the simplicity that was incomprehensible. It came in the form of a pink-haired kunoichi, who liked to take him by the arm and force him to get a medical check-up. Who he discovered like to drink sake on rainy days; the smile that welcomed him as he returned from a mission. And simplicity lost all meaning to him, because he began to wish for something else.
And so it was with them: behind her quick smiles, teasing words, and friendly invitations, she would wish and deny. In the same manner, behind his lazy attitude, perverted books, and friendly demeanor, he would wish and deny as well.
And it was the wishing that they couldn't ignore.
Author's Notes:
One-shot inspired by song "Enjoy" by Bjork. (They are only a part of the lyrics, and I somewhat edited them. Furthermore, the first italicized sentences are an edited/adapted form of a part of the lyrics as well).
Hope you enjoy!
