Chapter 2

The sun shone through the blinds casting a shadow across her face. Rachel stared up at the ceiling, her head heavy with thoughts. Peyton lay in the bed closely beside her, eyes shut and sleeping soundly. She was tired, and she didn't have to be up for at least another hour but she couldn't sleep. She was starting to feel like Nathan was the only thing she thought about. She hated feeling this way because falling for Nathan was the worse possible thing that could happen. At least if she didn't have feelings for him she could look the other way instead of witnessing the walking disaster he had become.

She hadn't voiced her concerns out loud for fear they might be true, but she was growing more afraid that his drinking was becoming a problem. He drank regularly almost everyday. He began drinking after Haley's accident. In fact, alcohol was the reason he wasn't playing professional basketball anymore. One night after Haley had passed away Nathan went out drinking with some of the players on his team. Then, he was stupid enough to get behind the wheel of his car and drive while being intoxicated. He ended up swerving off of the road and ramming his car into a tree. He was lucky to have even survived, but the accident had re-injured his bad knee to the point where he could no longer play on it. Now he coached for the Ravens at Tree Hill High. Rachel had never told anyone but after his accident Nathan admitted he was aiming for the tree. He wanted to die that night and the alcohol just gave him the nerve to do it. She had never told anyone that. She remembered scolding him and yelling a lot.

"How could you do something so stupid? What about James? Did you ever think of him and how hard it would be to lose both parents, or how he would feel knowing his father took his own life? Do you really want him to be an orphan!? Your child needs you Nathan. How could you even think of doing that to him? And did you ever stop to think about the rest of the people in your life and how they would feel?"

She remembered saying much more and how guilty he had felt. At one point he had even kissed her just to shut her up. Which had worked for about 5 minutes from the shock value and then she started ranting all over again. He made her promise not to tell, and she did. She didn't even tell Peyton, and she told Peyton everything. She was sure, at least she hoped, that he would never do anything like that again. Although his dependency on alcohol and self-destructive behavior still left her with reason to be worried.

Why couldn't she just like the nice guys without any emotional baggage? Guys like Mouth, who only wanted to take care of her and would never hurt her? She had enough baggage of her own to worry about. No, instead she had to fall for all of the guys she couldn't have, who were unavailable one way or the other. Then, the guys she fell for who were available always ended up hurting her. Most of her relationships in the past had been filled with emotional, verbal, mental and sometimes physical abuse. She sure knew how to pick them.

She was so lost in her thoughts she barely noticed Peyton stir next to her, until she felt her best friend's eyes on her. She adverted her eyes from the ceiling to turn her head and look at Peyton. Peyton was eyeing her thoughtfully and Rachel offered a small smile.

"Good morning, so how long have you been staring at me like that?" Rachel inquired with a soft smile.

"Long enough to wonder what's going on in that pretty head of yours." Peyton grinned turning to lie on her side as Rachel did the same.

"Everything. I can't stop thinking about the things that I really want to stop thinking about. What I should be thinking about is passing my NAVLE exam." Rachel sighed feeling frustrated.

"You have time to worry about that. So…these things that you wish you could stop thinking about, they wouldn't have to do with the bruises you have on your body now would they? You know the bruises from all the hot sex you've been having with Nathan?" Peyton pressed wearing a playful grin. Rachel flushed at this. "I thought you said you weren't going to sleep with him anymore." She added more seriously.

"I know." Rachel groaned feeling more frustrated with her own actions and apparent lack of self-control. "And you'd think it'd be easy with the way he treats me sometimes but it's not." She pouted.

"I just really don't think it's a good idea. I'm afraid he's going to end up hurting you. Because he's nowhere near wanting a relationship and Haley's death still completely runs his life. He can't even go a week without drinking to ease the pain." Peyton pointed out.

"I keep thinking someday maybe he'll be ready, you know? And if I'm just patient and I wait, and help him through this maybe someday he'll see me. The real me." Rachel admitted softly. "When he looks at me Peyton, he doesn't even see me. It's like he looks right through me. I'm not there unless he wants sex." She continued. Rachel had been slowly developing feelings for Nathan over the last year, and now she was finally admitting it out loud. She could tell Peyton anything without being judge. Peyton chewed her lip silently thinking about what Rachel had just said, even though she and Rachel had both known of her growing feelings for Nathan without Rachel really having to admit it.

"I love Nathan to death but he's no good for you." Peyton shook her head.

"I can feel it even when were having sex. It's like he's there but he's not, you know?" Rachel explained.

"He's there physically, nothing more. He's using you." Peyton nodded.

"And the messed up part is, I know that. He's made it clear." Rachel replied.

"You have feelings for him. That makes it harder to just walk away." Peyton answered understandingly. "I get that. But I think your gonna have to at least try. Just be his friend for the time being." She insisted.

"He doesn't want my friendship. All I'm good for is one thing when it comes to men." Rachel admitted breaking eye contact and looking away from Peyton.

"That's not true." Peyton scolded raising her voice and her tone becoming more serious. "And the more you keep letting yourself believe that, the longer you're going to allow yourself to be mistreated. You can do so much better than that Rachel." She added honestly. Tears had formed in Rachel's eyes, it was kind of embarrassing she still harbored some of the same issues and insecurities she had when she was in high school.

"I know I shouldn't be sleeping with Nathan. Even if I stop I'm still gonna think about him all of the time. I'll still have feelings for him." Rachel reasoned.

"Well, maybe some day he will be ready." Peyton said hopefully.

"Yeah, right. When he is, it probably won't be with me anyway. I'm not the girl guys end up wanting to settle down with." Rachel retorted feeling a little bitter.

"You really under estimate yourself. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes." Peyton sighed scooting closer to her and resting her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"Me too." Rachel agreed quietly resting her head against Peyton's.

"I miss Lucas." Peyton admitted with a sigh.

"I know you do." Rachel smiled. "You should just talk to him." She reasoned.

"And say what? I know I encouraged you to follow your dreams but now I'm mad at you for it." Peyton exclaimed crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is that really what this is?" Rachel questioned.

"That's what Nathan thinks, that I'm just being selfish." Peyton pouted in a broody way.

"You don't have a selfish bone in your body." Rachel chuckled. "So what gives? Spill it Sawyer." She pressed.

"I'm happy for him. I really, really am. I mean how many authors can say they were on the New York Times bestseller list before they were 25? Or that the book was so good it's being turned into a movie? He's doing amazing, and I don't want to begrudge him that. I don't want to hold him back." Peyton explained sadly. "And at the same time I feel betrayed. I know it's wrong. But I do." She frowned furrowing her brow.

"What makes you feel that way? It's not like he's done anything wrong that I don't know about right?" Rachel asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's nothing like that. For such a long time Lucas has always been the one person I could count on, to stick by me through anything. When everything and anyone else let's me down he never does. He's been the one constant thing that I've always been able to count on. I'm so in love with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know he's the love of my life." Peyton admitted adamantly. "But when he left it was like he was just like everyone else in my life, just another one of the people who always leave. He was supposed to be different because he's Lucas. At first I thought I could deal with it but then weeks of being away turned into months and it got harder. And because of it I started pushing him away. So that's why I ended things. I can't ask him to come back or not to travel for his work. I won't hold him back so it's just easier to let go. I guess I should have known eventually it would happen right? It's happened with everyone else I've been close to so why not him? I just really thought it'd be different with us." She explained softly with sad disappointed eyes.

"Peyton I mean this in the nicest way possible but that's ridiculous. Lucas is still in love with you, he didn't just leave you. Had you not encouraged him he would have never left." Rachel pointed out once again.

"Yeah well neither would have my father. The circumstances don't matter. Lucas was supposed to be different." Peyton pouted in an almost child-like way.

"Well, at least talk to the poor guy about it. He's head over heels in love with you and you won't even return his phone calls. He's probably going nuts. You're his freaking muse for God's sake." Rachel cried causing Peyton to blush with a smile.

"I am not." Peyton retorted.

"Um, have you read his books?" Rachel inquired quirking an eyebrow. "How is he going to write without his muse?" She teased.

"I'm sure he'll manage." Peyton replied dryly with smirk.

"You're a hard one, remind me not to get on your bad side." Rachel grinned playfully.

"This is me when I'm sweet." Peyton smiled innocently.

"Heaven help us if that's true." Rachel laughed and suddenly the alarm on the nightstand went off. Rachel grumbled reaching over Peyton to turn it off.

"Rach, if you were looking for a reason to touch me all you had to do was ask." Peyton smiled playfully wiggling her eyebrows.

"What fun would that have been?" Rachel laughed. "Ever since you've been staying with me I don't think I have slept in my room once." She pointed out with a chuckle.

"It's because you can't resist me. It's okay I understand. What can I say? I'm just lovable." Peyton shrugged with a wink. "I guess it's time to face the real world." Peyton signed.

"I really don't want too." Rachel grumbled.

"Being an adult sucks." Peyton agreed.

They both rolled out of bed and began getting ready for their days. Peyton had a lot of things to do at Tric, including a few new bands she was going to be trying out. She was now the owner of Tric; she had brought Karen out not too long ago. Peyton had done a good job of making Tric even more popular then it was when they were in high school. It was now the spot for rising artists to go if they wanted to be discovered.

"Peyton, what's this and why is it in the garbage?" Rachel asked while Peyton was in the middle of brushing her teeth. Peyton poked her head out of the bathroom. "Oh my God is this the artwork for Luke's new book?" She concluded after examining the drawing.

"Yeah." Peyton answered simply.

"Why is it in the garbage?" Rachel asked.

"It doesn't mean anything to anybody does it?" Peyton questioned. A question she had once posed to Lucas about her art right before he told her that her art matter. Rachel frowned at this. "I don't want him to have it." She shrugged. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Ok, can I please have mature Peyton back?" Rachel replied to which Peyton flipped her off. "Now that wasn't very nice." She called pretending to be hurt. Peyton had been doing original artwork for Luke's books, designing the cover and such. Which actually led to other author's contacting her to do the same and now it had been something she started doing on the side.

Rachel had a shift at Karen's and then she had clinical rotations. She was in her last year of veterinary school. Then she had her routine appearance a Tric, where she would listen to great music, hang out with Peyton and try to keep her pants on around Nathan. Rachel was just about ready when Peyton emerged from the bathroom.

"Okay, what is with the non-form fitting clothes? You should be showing off that hot body of yours and let Lucas know what he is missing." Rachel pointed out.

"He's not here." Peyton reminded.

"You know what I mean." Rachel insisted.

"Leave me alone. I'm in my depressed break up stage." Peyton offered. "And I'm not even going to put on any make up." She teased with a smile.

"The horror!" Rachel laughed playfully. They were both finally ready and heading for the door when the phone began to ring. Peyton walked over and looked at the caller ID.

"Who is it?" Rachel inquired. The answering machine picked up and Luke's voice filled the room answering her question. Peyton immediately picked up the phone and hung it up. Rachel's mouth dropped open.

"Peyton!" Rachel scolded.

"Shut it!" Peyton warned. Rachel couldn't help feeling bad for Lucas. Right as Peyton was about to out the phone down it rang again. She once again checked the caller ID. "It's Brooke." She said in surprised. She picked up the phone answering it and headed in the other room. She returned 5 minutes later. "You ready?" She asked Rachel.

"She didn't want to talk to me?" Rachel asked.

"She couldn't talk long. She had a bunch of stuff going on with some fashion show she is doing. She just wanted to see how everyone was doing. I told her everything's fine." Peyton explained.

"So you lied." Rachel smirked in amusement. "You'll talk to Brooke but not Lucas?" She pointed out raising an eyebrow.

"Brooke isn't Lucas." Peyton shrugged simply. Rachel chuckled rolling her eyes as they headed out the door to begin the day.

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

Nathan and his 5-year-old son James were seated at a booth in Karen's Café, waiting for the breakfast. Nathan was nervous because today was supposed to be James first day of kindergarten. He wasn't exactly sure how to handle this. He knew Haley probably would have been very emotional and worried all day long and then when James got home she would shower him with hugs and kisses. Nathan smiled at the thought. Then frowned knowing she and James would never get to experience that. Once again, his fault.

"You okay Dad?" James asked looking up at his father while playing with the fork that had been lying on the table.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Nathan mustered a smile. "So, are you excited for your first day of school big guy?" He asked rummaging through James book bag to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything.

"I guess." James shrugged sounding indifferent.

"Who got you these things?" Nathan asked referring to some of the supplies he didn't recognize.

"Rachel and Aunt Peyton." James answered and Nathan had figured as much and couldn't help but feeling a bit annoyed by it. It didn't really bother him that Peyton had gotten James school supplies but the fact that Rachel had didn't sit too well with him.

"That was nice of them, did you say thank you?" Nathan questioned acting unfazed.

"Yes." James nodded with a smile. "Rachel said she would help me with homework if I ever need it." He beamed with a certain glow in his big brown eyes that Haley used to get. He definitely got his eyes from Haley. Nathan clenched his fist feeling agitated.

"I'm your father. I'll help you with your homework." Nathan smiled patting him on the head and before James could say anything, Rachel approached them carrying a tray of food.

"Here you go little man, scrambled eggs with extra ketchup, just how you like it." Rachel smiled sweetly placing the plate in front of James, followed by a glass of orange juice. She then placed Nathan's coffee in front of him with a quick glance. "You sure you don't want any food?" She asked referring to Nathan.

"I'm good, thanks." Nathan shrugged her off.

"Thanks Rachel." James grinned stuffing some toast in his mouth. "What is a veterinarian?" He asked mispronouncing the word in an adorable child-like fashion, which caused Rachel to smile. "Aunt Peyton says you want to be one." He added.

"A veterinarian is an animal doctor. They take care of animals if they're sick or injured, or just need a shot for some reason. Kind of like the way doctors take care of us, except we take care of animals." Rachel tried to explain as simply as possible.

"So you take care of cats and dogs?" James asked with big eyes.

"Oh yeah, all sorts of animals." Rachel grinned.

"I love dogs." James nodded.

"Really? I'm actually doing some volunteer work with an animal shelter to help find pets homes. If it's alright with your Dad, maybe I can get you a puppy." Rachel offered with a smile and James nearly jumped out of his seat.

"Can we get a puppy Daddy?" James begged excited.

"I don't know. We'll see. Now hurry up and eat. Your food is getting cold." Nathan answered sending Rachel a look. James sat back down and reluctantly began to eat.

"Come on Nathan, be a cool Dad." Rachel urged.

"Pleeeeeease Daddy?" James pressed.

"I said, we'll see. Keep bugging me about it and then answer will be no." Nathan answered in an authoritative tone causing James to immediately stop asking. "Rachel, I don't need you telling me what I should or shouldn't do for my son, thank you." He added turning his attention to Rachel.

"I was just trying to help…" Rachel explained.

"We've already been served. Your presence is no longer needed over here. You can get back to work." Nathan cut her off coldly.

"Right, sorry." Rachel sighed feeling tired of the way Nathan treated her. "I hope you have fun at school today James!" She exclaimed with a smile turning her attention back to the little boy. "I want to know how it went." She added tousling his hair with her hand before walking away.

"Why are you mean to Rachel?" James asked suddenly.

"I'm not." Nathan replied caught off guard by the question. "You know your mom was going to be an elementary school teacher. I think it's important for you to know things about her. She was an amazing woman." He added changing the subject.

"Why isn't Mommy here with us?" James asked with innocent eyes that would have made Nathan's heart break if it weren't already broken.

"Your mother loved us. She didn't want to leave us. As unfair as it was death is a part of life and I guess it was just her time." Nathan replied painfully.

"If God is good, why would he take Mom away from us?" James questioned.

"There are things in life that adults don't even understand sometimes." Nathan answered. He was a grown man and this conversation was making him feel like crying. James deserved to know answers to these types of questions. James deserved to be able to learn about his mother without Nathan becoming a mess. "You've thought a lot about this." He commented.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to get you upset by talking about Mom." James answered and Nathan smiled at what a smart 5-year-old he had. Yeah, that was definitely all Haley.

"You don't ever have to be scared to talk about your mother of ask me about her. You can talk to me about any bud, I want you to know that." Nathan smiled softly.

"Is Rachel going to be my new Mommy?" James asked looking up at his father. Nathan's head snapped up in surprise.

"What would make you think that?" Nathan asked almost alarmed.

"Because she spends time with us and she seems to like you. She really nice and funny." James answered with a smile looking somewhat hopeful.

"No! Haley Scott is your mother. Your one and only mother and no one will ever take her place." Nathan answered raising his voice harshly immediately shutting James up. A tense silence washed over them and Nathan felt awful. James frowned poking at his eggs with a fork. Nathan let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry." Nathan apologized softly. James was quiet for a moment.

"I like Rachel." James answered simply. They finished the rest of their breakfast in silence.

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

Peyton ran off stage after introducing the band that was scheduled for that night at Tric and they began playing their first set. She headed back over toward the bar where Karen and Rachel were serving drinks. Tric was packed to the point where there was barely any breathing room and the crowd was electric. Peyton was definitely a natural when it came to this stuff, and Karen was continually impressed.

"You know when you first asked to buy me out I wasn't sure if you'd be able to handle running your own business. You're so young and inexperienced. You've really impressed me Peyton." Karen smiled admirably. Peyton blushed and looked away

"Thank you." Peyton grinned graciously joining her behind the bar.

"Lucas called." Karen announced studying Peyton for a reaction. She refused to look Karen in the eye. "He really misses you. He says he's been trying to get a hold of you." She continued.

"Oh, really?" Peyton replied dumbly not really knowing what to say. This was Luke's mother after all and from where she was standing it probably looked like Peyton was playing ping-pong with his heart.

"This is really hard for you isn't it?" Karen offered sympathetically.

"I'm used to it." Peyton shrugged.

"I miss him too." Karen admitted. "I know he didn't want to leave me, his little sister, Nathan and especially you. We practically had to force him on that plane, remember?" She chuckled and Peyton laughed softly with sadness in her eyes. "But I think it's important that he went. He's given so much of himself to the people he loves, that it's nice to see him be able to have something like this that's just for him." She added gently.

"Yeah, your right." Peyton laughed adverting her eyes.

"He said you called off the engagement." Karen frowned looking disappointed and she seemed to be waiting for Peyton to answer.

"I just…I really don't want to talk about this right now." Peyton admitted.

"That's okay." Karen nodded understandingly. "But if you ever do, you know I am here?" She reminded.

"Of course." Peyton smiled finally looking at her.

"Do you guys need me to do anything else before I leave?" Rachel interrupted. She had been scurrying around them handing out the customer's drinks.

"I don't think so honey." Karen shrugged.

"Nope, we're all set. Thanks for all the help." Peyton answered with a smile slapping Rachel on the ass playfully as she walked back, and Rachel shot her a smile. "Can you just do me one favor before you go?" She requested.

"I thought you said you were all set." Rachel laughed smoothing out her skirt.

"I know! Just go into my office and grab my planner for me? Then you're free." Peyton pouted.

"Your lucky I love you." Rachel smirked pointing at her sharply before heading off in the direction of Peyton's office.

"Peyton!" Nathan called sitting down at the bar. Peyton turned her attention to Nathan and approached him. He was clearly intoxicated. "Give me a vodka and orange juice. That asshole bartender was saying I'm cut off." He whined.

"You are cut off." Peyton informed him. "I will not be responsible for you becoming a raging alcoholic." She hissed with concern.

"I am not an alcoholic." Nathan stated angrily. "Give me a drink or I'll go somewhere else and get it." He shrugged simply.

"Then take your drunk ass elsewhere." Peyton snickered. "Where is James right now?" She questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Where do you think he is? He's with his grandmother." Nathan answered referring to Deb. "Don't speak to me like I'm an unfit father Peyton." He snapped furiously and his face was burning crimson.

"Then quit acting like one." Peyton growled and this comment only seemed to make him angrier. "God, Haley must be rolling over in her grave right now, if she could see what you've become." She shook her head with disdain. The remark was below the belt to say the least and perhaps she had gone too far. Maybe it was a mixture of everything she had going on in her own life and she was just taking her frustrations out on him. But she was tired of holding her tongue. Somebody had to say it. Nathan stared at her, mouth ajar like he couldn't believe she had just said such a thing. His eyes burned with fresh tears. He got up quickly violently knocking the bar stool over and stormed off.

XoxoX

Rachel shuffled through the things on Peyton's desk. She had seen Peyton's planner plenty of times. It was one of those fancy digital toys that cost a pretty penny. It was like Peyton's lifeline. She just couldn't seem to find the damn thing. After checking on top of the desk twice she finally moved to the inside of the desk, rummaging through the drawers. Bingo! After looking through the drawers and moving things around she finally found the small device. Right when she was about to leave the door violently swung open causing her to jump back with a start. Nathan joined her in the office slamming the door behind him.

"Nathan…" Rachel uttered in surprised.

"Peyton just called me a bad father." Nathan cried angrily. He knew Rachel would be in Peyton's office because he had overheard their earlier exchange.

"I'm sure whatever she said, she didn't mean it that way." Rachel offered gently leaning against the front of the desk.

"I'm a good father." Nathan insisted heatedly.

"I know. Your great with James." Rachel nodded trying to calm him down. "I think she's just a little concerned about the constant drinking." She added timidly trying not to cause any waves.

"I am not an alcoholic. I have control over my drinking. And when I do go out I always make sure I have a babysitter. She has no right…James is my son!" Nathan yelled.

"She has to right to be concerned." Rachel tried to reason.

"She has no reason to be. James is none of her business. She isn't his mother, and neither are you!" Nathan snapped and Rachel looked stunned. Her face twisted with emotion and she felt hurt. "Playing with him, spending time with him, buying him school supplies? Your not his mother and you never will be." He snarled coldly.

"I care about James, that doesn't mean I am trying to be his mother or take Haley's place. He should be allowed to have women in his life who care about him and can serve as some sort of mother figure. It doesn't mean Peyton, Karen, Deb or I, are trying to be his mother! And the fact that you would begrudge him that is just wrong." Rachel cried tears brimming her eyes. She had babysat James countless times and had become very close to him. She loved him and the little boy seemed to adore her. So, hearing Nathan speak to her like this about James was hurtful. "Your drunk, and I don't have to stand here and listen to this." She exclaimed emotionally rushing to brush passed him but he caught her arm and roughly pulled her back so that she was in front of him. He held her arms tightly smashing his lips against hers and she groaned against him. She felt her defenses weaken and she was limp against him, giving in. She suddenly pushed him away as hard as she could.

"No, I can't do this anymore!" Rachel refused. "All you do is use me, and then tear me down. Whatever this is, the hooking up? It has to stop. Find another way to cope. I'm done being your punching bag." She shook her head. Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder sliding it down her slender arm and then slipping it around her waist. He wasn't listening. He roughly pulled her to him, her core smashing against his own. She whimpered because her core was throbbing, not from pain but from wanting him. Her body was betraying her and she hated herself for that. She hated him ever more. "This has to stop." She uttered her words not holding much conviction. She couldn't think with him this close.

"Yeah, right." Nathan laughed in her face reaching his hands underneath her skirt and pulling down her panties. She couldn't seem to find her willpower. He was making her too hot. The sick part was he had just been a complete ass to her, but what else was new? He pressed his lips against hers once more and this time she couldn't fight it anymore. What was the use? He'd win anyway. She returned the kiss dropping Peyton's planner to the floor.

He backed her up against the desk their kisses were urgent passion-filled. She practically tore his belt from his body, dropping his pants to his knees. Nathan lifted her off of the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt him at her entrance and dug her nails into his back when he slammed into her. He pumped inside of her a few times and a thin sheet of sweat had already covered both of their bodies.

He impulsively swiped his arm across the desk sending everything to the floor, throwing her against it not so gently. He climbed on top of her entering her again fast and rough. He lifted her leg for better access brutally driving into her in a way that made her toes curl. She arched her back leaning her head against the hard surface of the desk.

He pumped harder mercilessly and she rocked her hips against his keeping up with his pace and further intensifying the pleasure. She grabbed a chunk of his hair pulling it hard and he growled digging his hands into her hips. He skillfully pumped his way in and out of her, each thrust seeming more intense than the next. Her delicate skin rubbed against the hard surface of the desk and it was unforgiving. She moaned loudly clawing at his shirt and ripping it open sending buttons flying everywhere. She took her nails and raked them down his chest to his abdomen and he hissed. She had scratched him so hard she left marks and she thought might have even seen a hint of blood. He deserved it for the way he had spoken to her, although she knew it really hadn't effected him all that much.

She paid for it when he pulled out of her suddenly and she almost screamed. What was he doing? He harshly slammed back into her so hard she cried out mix of pleasure and pain. Had it not felt so good she would have slapped him. A few more vigorous thrusts with extra force and they both climaxed crying out from the intense pleasure. They were both panting, trying to catch their breath. Nathan pulled out immediately and began pulling up his pants, leaving her a shameful mess on Peyton's once well-organized desk. She rolled off the desk, searching for her panties never once looking at him.

"Yeah, you were really serious about not doing this anymore." Nathan spoke tauntingly causing her to look over at him. He was holding the black panties she had been looking for. He threw them in her face with a smile. She caught them with a venomous glare and felt disgusted by his lack of respect for her. She might have let him have his way with her on occasion, but she had also been a good friend and stuck by him through this entire ordeal no matter what he dished out. "Come on, don't give me that look. Isn't this what you've always wanted? When Haley was alive and pregnant with James you were practically begging for it. Remember? You didn't care that I had a family." He spat. Their eyes locked and she was enraged.

"That's not fair! That was years ago. I was 18, and I was selfish. All I cared about was what I wanted. When I found out she was pregnant I backed off. Both you and Haley forgave me. It was 5 years ago! I was a different person back then." Rachel cried.

"So now you've change?" Nathan chuckled approaching her. "Need I remind you, that you just let me fuck you on top of that desk? You haven't changed. Your still a whore." He shrugged spewing hateful words and taking out all of his anger on her wearing a cocky smile that made her sick to her stomach. She slapped him as hard as she could with hot tears streaming down her face. The door to the office suddenly swung open.

"What the hell is this?" Peyton cried in surprise her eyes landing on Nathan and Rachel, then immediately moving to the wreckage that was once her desk. Nathan bushed passed her silently leaving the room. Peyton's eyes fell upon Rachel. She was hugging herself, softly crying. She looked completely broken and Peyton's heart ached for her. Rachel grabbed the planner off of the floor. She handed it to Peyton.

"Here." Rachel offered not wanting to look Peyton in the eyes with her tear stained face.

"Rach, I think you said…" Peyton because sympathetically.

"Don't, just please don't lecture me right now." Rachel shook her head crying harder wishing the tears would stop coming. Peyton pulled her into a comforting hug, rubbing soothing circles around her back. Peyton whispered that she was sorry, that it was going to be okay and she was there for her. Rachel hugged her back crying into her shoulder.

"Ew, on my desk." Peyton groaned causing Rachel to laugh.

"I'm an idiot. I let this happen." Rachel frowned.

"No, your not. He is. You have feelings for him and he uses it against you. You just have to be strong and stand your ground." Peyton hushed supportively. "Come on, let's get you home." She cooed softly putting her arm around Rachel and leading the way out the door. Rachel felt completely ashamed of herself. The worst part was not matter what Nathan put her through she still cared. How messed up was that?

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

A/N: Thanks to Amber, angeldylan628, setherfan91, Let Go Tonight, xPerfectlyImperfectx, Allison, JennVanessa, lilwolf, lily, Nic, Laurie and Sarah for the reviews! It really means a lot to mean.

Amber-LOL is Haley really killed that often in fics? Oh well, I thought it was necessary and added well to the plot. Lol

Setherfan91- interesting observation. I'm glad you were wondering what was going on with James in all of this and hopefully this chapter answered that. Deb, Karen, Peyton and even Rachel often watch him. Mostly Deb. That is when Nathan can't.

Nic-even in your reviews you are eloquent.

Soultwin- you are amazing and I love your review. It made me smile. I am so happy you like this and thank you for really getting me into wanting to write this story. You're the best.

It looks like everyone liked that counter top sex. Lol

Preview:Nathan makes a mistake causing everyone to worry their concerns have been right, Peyton continues to avoid Lucas but there may be more going on beneath the surface, Rachel struggles juggling school, work and Nathan. Will she end up sleeping with him again or be strong enough to stay away? All that and much more. Please remember to review if you are reading. Sarah gets grumpy when I don't update. :P