A/N: THANK YOU! Thank you so much, all of you who read, reviewed, favorited, and subscribed! You definitely went above and beyond all my expectations for this story! I did NOT expect all the amazing reviews – so thank you thank you thank you for starting off this new year in such a wonderful way for me! You made my day these past couple days! Oh, and happy 2013 everyone! Here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!
Feel Again
My heart is numb…But with you, I feel again…
A few months later…
Thorin stomped into his sister's house, dropping his sword on the couch and taking a drink of water, taking deep breaths of the air that seemed so pure and sweet after the smoky depths of the forge. He was to babysit his nephews for a two while Dis went to visit a friend who was ill. She had declared that the boys would fall sick if she took them with her, and besides, it was good bonding time for Thorin and his sister-sons. So Thorin, unwilling to provoke his sister, had left Balin in charge of the forge for the rest of the afternoon and the morrow, and had arrived at his sister's place.
He glanced around the strangely quiet house, wondering where the boys were, and reminding himself not to curse in front of them, even if they attempted something stupid again. Kili had grown a surprising amount in the past few weeks, and had begun to pick up words faster than anyone had expected. He had shocked his mother during dinner a few days ago by spouting several ancient dwarvish curses he should never have heard in the first place, all with an adorable smile and innocent gaze. Dis had proceeded to lay down a new rule: Anyone who dared to curse in front of her younger son would be incarcerated in her oven for ten minutes. And no one dared to mess with Dis, especially because she was Thorin's sister.
"Uncle Thorin!" Fili came running out of one of the rooms, clutching his wooden sword in one hand. "You're late! Are you going to teach me more today?"
Thorin nodded, smiling at his older nephew. For the past few months he had been teaching Fili swordplay whenever he had a chance, and the boy was a fast learner. Kili, most of the time, had been napping when they practiced, but the boy was taking fewer and fewer of them now. But Thorin decided he could easily keep an eye on both.
A soft impact on his leg startled him, and the dwarf king looked down to see Kili grinning up at him, hugging his boot tightly. "Hello, Kili," he said, reaching down to ruffle the boy's messy brown hair.
"Hi," Kili said shyly, hiding behind the boot. Thorin shook his head. The boy was shy now – within five minutes he would probably be running wild again.
"Can we practice outside?" Fili asked, bouncing up and down on his toes. "Please?"
Thorin nodded, and was following a cheering Fili out the door when he felt his left leg dragging slightly as he walked. Looking down, he saw a small brown head by his foot. He stared, and two big brown eyes stared back at him. "Kili," he groaned, "Kili, get up."
Kili smiled innocently up at his uncle, tightening his grip on the boot. "Walk," he ordered.
Fili appeared in the doorway, laughing when he saw his brother. "He does that all the time," he said. "He'll let go after a while, right, Kili?"
"Right," Kili said happily, not really listening to his brother, but seeing that he was smiling. When he grew up, he was going to be just like Fili. But with brown hair. And a better sense of fun. All Fili wanted to do nowadays was wave around the wooden stick that Kili wasn't allowed to touch. Boring.
Thorin rolled his eyes and walked out into the neighboring orchard that Fili was waiting in, swishing the sword through the air in random patterns, dragging Kili along on his ankle, the little dwarfling giggling happily as he went.
"Alright, Kili, that's enough," Thorin said in his no-nonsense tone as he neared Fili, and his darker-haired nephew immediately bounced up and scurried over to his big brother, trying to grab the sword from him. "Kili!" Thorin boomed, seeing a crisis in the immediate future and seeking to avert it before Dis murdered him. "Don't touch that, boy."
Fili snickered, holding the toy higher up in the air so that Kili couldn't reach it, even when he jumped. "You're too little," he teased. "You have to grow up before you can use this."
"Fili," Thorin said in a warning tone, seeing Kili's smile vanish and be replaced with big eyes and quivering lips, "Don't tease your brother. Kili, you can have one soon, alright? How about you play for a little while?"
Kili gave Thorin a severely disappointed look and plonked himself down at the base of a tree, plucking at a dandelion he'd picked.
"Can we start?" Fili asked eagerly, extending the sword to Thorin, who nodded, holding his nephew's wrist and correcting his grip.
Kili watched them from the grass, bored. How was he supposed to "play?" His uncle had stolen his playmate anyway, and playing alone was hardly any fun. Tilting his head back, he noticed several bright red apples hanging from the tree, and felt a grin spread over his face. He had an idea.
Thorin reached into his cloak, pulling out a wooden sword identical to Fili's, except slightly larger. Kneeling, he began to spar with the boy, shouting out commands as he did so. "Duck! Now block, strike, stab, parry – move your feet, Fili! Staying still will get you injured!"
Fili began dancing around his uncle, swiping the sword through the air, but no matter what he did Thorin blocked his every advance. Frustrated, Fili began a frenzied attack on his uncle, the blade flying nearly everywhere as he vented his fury.
And suddenly, the sword was out of his hands, and Thorin's was pointed straight at him. "Never," Thorin said slowly, to make sure his panting nephew understood each word, "Never ever get angry during a fight. You become rash, reckless, and your enemy automatically gains the upper hand. You must keep a cool head, no matter how angry you are." He paused, waiting. If Fili didn't understand a word, he usually asked, but the boy said nothing. "Now, let's try again," Thorin said, handing Fili his sword, hilt first.
As Fili took it from him, Thorin suddenly recognized the look on his nephew's face: disappointment. He cleared his throat. "You – you're doing well, lad," he assured the boy softly. "You are very talented with the sword. But you must learn to control your emotions."
Fili smiled, reverting back to the carefree dwarfling he was. "Okay! Can we start?"
As Thorin swung his own toy sword back up, his eyes swept the ground for his other, tinier nephew, and he froze, his heart suddenly thumping wildly. "Fili," he said slowly, still searching, "Where's your brother?"
With a thud, Fili's sword landed on the grass as he stared around. And then, instinctively, he looked up. "There!" he shouted, pointing. Kili was perched on the lowest tree branch, and Thorin thanked the gods that the tree had only sparse leaves. At least he could see his nephew.
"Good catch, Fili," he murmured, ruffling the boy's golden hair. "Kili!" Thorin shouted, raising his voice. "Come down at once!"
The little boy regarded him for a moment, swinging his small legs. "Won't!" Kili beamed happily.
Thorin stared, shocked. Never had anyone disobeyed a direct order from Thorin Oakenshield! And now this. Fili giggled. Thorin glared at him.
"He likes to climb," Fili informed his uncle. "He usually doesn't get higher than Mum's dresser, though." He surveyed his brother for a moment, and then yelled, "Kili! Uncle Thorin says to come down."
Kili giggled and suddenly reached up, climbing two branches higher before hooking his ankles together and flipping himself, so that he was hanging upside-down from the branch.
"KILI!" Thorin roared, furious. What if the boy fell? He could break his little neck! "Kili, don't make me come get you!" It was a bluff, of course. Thorin had a feeling that none of those branches could take his weight, but he was pretty good at scaring people when he wanted to. So encouraging a baby dwarf to come down couldn't be too hard, right?
Wrong. His younger nephew raised his eyebrows in an uncanny imitation of his uncle, scowling like Thorin for a moment before his innocent smile replaced it. "Later!" he sang out, his upper body curving up to meet his feet as his hands grasped the branch his ankles were snagged onto, pulling himself up again. Kili climbed like a squirrel, eyes only on the target. No missteps. Minutes later, he was much higher up, crawling out towards the middle of a branch and plucking an apple.
Thorin watched in horror as Kili scaled the tree with effortless ease, his heart in his mouth. "Kili, come down!" he nearly screamed, but the boy ignored him. What if his nephew fell? If he died? Thorin would never forgive himself – but what could he do? He was too heavy to climb up, and Kili was refusing to come down.
A flash of movement by his side made him look down, and Thorin grabbed Fili's tunic and held him back. Fili had been thinking along the same lines as his uncle – and had realized that he could go up, while Thorin could not.
"I can get him! Let go!" Fili attempted to wrench himself from Thorin's hand, but his uncle was much larger and stronger than him.
"No! One of you in danger is enough," Thorin hissed, and Fili stared at his uncle. Was he…worried? His Uncle Thorin, who was never afraid, even when facing the white orc, had fear showing clearly in his eyes.
"Kili!" Thorin roared, his free hand stretched out towards the small figure high up in the tree. "Don't you dare go any further! Come down!"
Silence.
And then a bright red apple sailed down and landed in Thorin's open, outstretched palm, the dwarf's fingers curling automatically over the fruit. "What the…" Thorin stared at the missile, and then back up at his nephew's miniature figure in the tree, which he could barely see through the leaves. How on earth had Kili been able to perfectly aim the projectile from so high up, through the leaves, and onto such a small target? And then his mind fixated on the original problem: so high up.
"Stay here," Thorin ordered Fili, clearly making up his mind on the spot. "I'm going to the Forge – maybe Balin or Bofur can help…Stay on the ground, you hear me?"
Fili nodded earnestly, and Thorin seemed reassured by the boy's smile. "I'll be right back," he whispered, before hurrying away. Maybe they had a ladder in the forge…a very large ladder. How on earth had Kili climbed the tree anyway? Dwarves were meant to be on the ground or under it, damn it!
The moment Thorin had left, Fili dashed to the trunk of the tree, looking up. Kili wasn't climbing any higher, nor was he coming down. "Kili!" Fili shouted, worried. His little brother being so quiet was unusual…and Thorin had left by now. So why wasn't he responding, why wasn't he coming down? Was he hurt up there? Had he twisted his wrist or ankle?
In another second, Fili had put his foot on the tree, bracing himself, and begun to climb, cursing his little brother with the limited vocabulary he had picked up from eavesdropping on the dwarves' conversations after dinner when he was supposed to be asleep with every step. How Kili had made climbing a tree look so easy was beyond him. Every few minutes Fili stopped, trying to figure out where the best foothold would be, which was the easiest way up.
"Kili, can you come down?" Fili called up.
No response, but he could see the dark-haired dwarfling up above him. Not too far now…but far enough.
Reaching up for the next branch, Fili hauled himself up. "Are you hurt, Kili?"
No response.
Couple more branches…As Fili neared his brother, he could hear him snuffling above him, shifting as he came closer. And then he swung himself up onto Kili's branch, thankfully a thick one.
"Kili, are you hurt?" Fili demanded, coming close to Kili's huddled up form.
His brother shook his dark head, looking up at him.
"Come on, let's go down."
Gripping the branch tightly with both hands, hooking his ankles around the base, Kili glanced down at the ground, and then up at Fili. "We gon' die!" he wailed, fear evident in his gaze.
Fili groaned. Obviously, Kili had done the unintelligent thing and had failed to look before climbing. "If you knew it was so high, why did you come up?" he snapped.
Kili pointed despairingly at a shiny red apple hanging above Fili's head.
Rolling his eyes, Fili plucked it and handed it to Kili, who clutched it with both hands as if it was the Arkenstone itself, smiling tentatively at his older brother. Sighing, Fili looked down at the ground. He couldn't blame Kili, really – after all, he was practically a baby still, and Kili was rash and reckless by nature. He grinned suddenly, remembering how Thorin had warned him to keep his emotions at bay while sword-fighting. His uncle was going to have lots of fun trying to teach Kili. Fili made a mental note to be present every time Uncle Thorin tried to give Kili some training.
"Let's go down," Fili suggested, fighting a grin as Kili huddled back into a tiny ball with a mop of dark hair, shaking his head firmly.
"No."
"Scared?" Fili teased, nudging Kili with his shoulder. "It's okay."
Kili raised his head, staring at him. "You scared?"
Fili shook his head. "Only a little." A lot more than you know, brother. Dwarves were meant to stay on the ground! Why did you have to climb the tree? But he didn't say it. It wouldn't help at all – and besides, he was more scared of Kili falling than of climbing down. His mother had cured Fili of his fear of heights – at least partially.
"But we so high!"
"When I was your age," Fili told his terrified brother, "Whenever I was being bad, Mum would put me on top of her dresser and leave me there for some time. I used to be so scared of being off the ground. And then once she'd left some cookies out on the table, and I really wanted them. Really badly." He glanced over at Kili, who was watching him, fascinated, and smiled. "I wanted them so badly I told myself I would do whatever it took, and I climbed down and took some." Fili grinned. "Mum never did figure out where half those cookies went. I was back on the dresser when she came back."
Kili giggled, and then stared at Fili, his eyes wide. "You was scared?"
Fili nodded, aware that he might be relinquishing his title as super-powerful-never-afraid-all-knowing older brother, but deciding that getting Kili down unharmed was the priority. But instead of gloating over finally finding out that his brother had been scared of something, Kili shuffled closer and put his arms around Fili's middle, butting him lightly with his head.
"We go down?" Kili asked, with some trepidation.
Fili nodded again, patting Kili's soft hair when his brother clung to him tightly. "We go down."
When Thorin returned to the orchard with a long rope in his hands, Balin in tow, he found Fili climbing down from the tree, Kili on his back, his arms wound tightly around his brother's neck.
"The lads seem to be all right," Balin smiled. "I'll be heading back to the forge then, aye?" Patting Thorin's shoulder, he walked away, his eyes twinkling. He would have loved to watch Thorin's reaction, but knew that his king would appreciate some privacy when dealing with the boys.
Thorin approached them slowly, not too sure what to say – or who to yell at first. Kili's sharp ears picked up the sound of his uncle's footsteps and he twisted around, shrinking back at Thorin's glowering expression.
"You both could have died!" Thorin snarled, making Fili jump and Kili burst into tears, and then, without even knowing what he was doing, he reached out, pulling both his nephews into a tight embrace, crushing them to him, feeling Fili cuddling into his side and Kili bawling into his shoulder.
Thorin knelt, pulling away from them both slightly, looking Kili in the eyes.
"I sorry, Uncle," Kili yowled, tears falling fast. "Please don't leave us!"
"I thought I was going to lose you," Thorin said softly, stroking Kili's hair, pulling a leaf out of the brown strands. "I won't leave you, either of you, ever," he promised. "But you have to promise me something in return. Especially you, Kili."
"What?" Fili asked, over Kili's renewed crying – although this time, it was largely from relief.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again," Thorin said, clasping them to him again, still feeling his heart thudding from the moment he'd returned and seen both of them up in the tree, convinced they were going to fall. He had thought he would have to lift their broken bodies from the ground, thought Fili would never get to hold a real sword and become the true warrior he yearned to be, thought Kili would never give him that impish smile and adoring look again. He shook his head, trying to banish the thoughts. They were both safe, and very much alive, and Thorin could feel the relief and love for his nephews flooding through him.
"Wan' go home," Kili declared after a few moments. "Hungry." He had dropped the apple Fili had given him in favor of holding on to his brother as he climbed down.
Thorin rolled his eyes, standing up, lifting Fili with one arm and Kili with the other. "Home is far away from here," he murmured softly, seeing moments later that Fili understood him and Kili was utterly bamboozled. "Let's go," he agreed, pressing a kiss to each small forehead.
Balin peered out from behind a tree, grinning. Thorin was never going to live this down.
A/N: Reviews? Suggestions for a future chapter? If you review, you get to find out how the rest of the babysitting session goes that much faster ;)
