Author's Note: FF has been a little buggy for me for a few days now and it was hell figuring out why. Apparently it seems to have fixed itself, so here's chapter 2. Now... I'm probably a horrible human being and will burn in hell for putting poor, lil', puppy-eye Emi through the emotional wringer, but I honestly feel bad for Hisao having to do nearly EVERYTHING in their relationship. Hope you enjoy.


Emi sighs as she makes her way into her room after a long day at practice. She's worn out, pretty sure she pushed herself a little too hard today. The thought of Hisao kept popping into her mind and she kept running faster in an attempt to shut him out.

She sighed as he drifted into her mind again. It was for the best. She knew it. Today was their first day apart. Tomorrow would be their second… and she was sure it would be the hardest… just like with a workout. But she could do it. She knew she could.

A crunching sound interrupts her thoughts from underneath one of her prosthetic legs. She picks it up and reads her name on the crumpled envelope.

She opens it up and reads it carefully.


Dear Emi,

I know you're mad at me and that you've said your goodbye… but I really hope you don't throw this away immediately, because this is my way of saying goodbye since I never got a chance. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say to you… and I'd really like you to read all the way through this so that everything I wish I could've said can get through to you.

I wanted to help you… I wanted to make you happy. It became obviously clear that you didn't want or need my help… that you were determined to get through it on your own… but in the end, I still wanted to help you… because I wanted to make you as happy as you'd made me. I know you thought that I wanted to "fix" or "save" you from your emotional pains... and even now I'm pretty sure a part of me did. But more than just helping a damsel in distress, I just… wanted to be with you, and I wanted you to be happy while I was with you. But in the end that didn't work out so well, which brings me to my next point…

I know that there's no more us. I know you don't need me… and I know I'll eventually stop needing you. You've helped me greatly since I've come to Yamaku… and I only wish I could've done something in return. But… these things happen, I guess. You never told me just what it is that makes you so unhappy, but whatever it is, I'm sure you'll pull through, I just hope it doesn't take too long.

Also… I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying to push you. I'm sorry for trying to help you. I'm sorry for trying to get closer to you. I'm sorry for everything I should've done or said but didn't. I'm sorry for everything I shouldn't have done or said but did.

I love you, Emi. I really, really do… and I don't think I've ever really said so. But it's true. It's why I wasn't satisfied being kept at arm's length and it's why I wasn't satisfied with letting you suffer alone. It's why I couldn't be happy with you not trusting me the way you did. You told me that you couldn't rely on me. That you'd never let me close… and that tore me apart. To love you so deeply just to find that I'd never make it past your emotional barrier really hurt. But most importantly… it's why I've given up. It's so clear that you can't handle someone loving you… because you'll never return that love since you can't risk losing it. So with all of that off of my chest… Goodbye Emi.

It was fun,

Hisao


Emi plops down onto her bed as tears began to form in her eyes. Hisao loved her. He really loved her. And she'd… she'd sent him running off. How could she be so stupid?

Emi had always been in control of their relationship. She set the pace. She had tried hard not to fall in love with him and even after that she tried to keep him at a distance like with her previous boyfriend, but to no avail. Eventually she just cut him off and shoved him away for good… never realizing that she never really gave Hisao a chance with her. He tried so hard for her… and she tried so hard to get him to stop.

I love you, Emi.

You'd never let me close… and that tore me apart.

All this time… she was so afraid of loving him because she didn't want to lose him… when that's exactly what she'd put Hisao through. He'd fallen for her… and then he felt a distance dropped between them due to her own selfish fear.

But… these things happen, I guess.

For so long… she'd lived in the moment with the mentality that "things happen" and that there's nothing anyone can do about it. She kept people from getting close to her so that she could avoid getting her heart broken if and when "those things" that happened took the people she loved away from her. Yet… the words Hisao wrote mock her with their irony. She pushed him away for good to protect her heart… and it breaks as she reads his final words to her.

Goodbye Emi.

It was fun, Hisao.

Emi sighs as she thinks about how terrible she is at saying goodbye. Her words to Hisao were hardly heartfelt as she ended their relationship abruptly to protect herself… She was so sure that she could just live happily with fond memories of him in her heart… but her heart bleeds as she curses herself for her stupidity and her fear. 'It was fun'… the words she's defined her life by. Never regretting anything… only looking back to the happy times and using them to move forward. Those words seem to simply laugh at her pain.

Emi wipes her tears, only to feel more drip out of her eyes. She puts Hisao's letter onto her desk, removes her legs, and curls up onto her bed… she tries her best to fall asleep, even with tears continuously dripping from her eyes. Her heart aches and she just wishes… wishes that he were here… as if somehow he knew his letter would make her want to see him… and he'd come, and she could hold him and kiss him. Emi doesn't remember how long she stares longingly at the door and crying before sleep takes her.


Emi remembers this dream. She remembers it clearly and she remembers having it so many nights before. She's scared… and she's alone. Her legs end at her thighs, and all she can do is helplessly sit there and think about how dark it is… and how there's nobody there with her at all. Suddenly she spots her father, running by in workout clothes. He doesn't seem to notice her at all, and runs right past her. She calls out to him helplessly.

"Dad! Wait… come back!"

He doesn't hear her. She tries to pull herself towards him using only her arms, but she knows it's no use. This nightmare is always the same.

Suddenly, her running prosthetics seem to appear out of thin air and onto her legs. A track stretches across the floor of the darkness. Emi's eyes light up and she grins widely. This is a new development in her dream that she'd never had before. She shoots off, taking comfort in the ability to run. She grins with determination as she sprints as fast as she can, the only thoughts in her head focused on her breathing, the next curve, and the rhythm of her legs as she dashes forward.

A blur shoots past her and she's surprised to see Hisao turn his head to smile and wink at her. Her heart flutters… and her eyes narrow as she sprints to catch up to him. She knows she can. He's no match for her…

Or so she thought. Emi pushes her legs as fast as they'll go… but somehow Hisao stays ahead of her… if anything, the distance between them growing wider. She pushes harder, but she can't seem to get any closer to him.

Out of breath, she tries to call out to him… but he doesn't hear her… or if he does, he doesn't turn around to acknowledge her.

"H-Hisao… wait… p-please, hold on!"

He turns around and waves her over, yelling. "Come on, you slow poke! I thought you were the fastest thing on no legs!"

His teasing tone echoes in her ears… but she trips over herself, falling to the ground. Emi notices that her running prosthetics seem to have dissolved back into the thin air they appeared from and she's left helpless on the ground for the second time in her dream. Hisao keeps running, and his back gets smaller and eventually begins to disappear as the distance between them expands.

She quietly calls out for Hisao… even knowing full well he's not coming back.

"Hisao… please… don't leave me here…"

The darkness around her offers no comfort.

Her own voice sounds out around her. "So you wanna fix me, Hisao? Swoop in on your white charger and save the day? Well, you can't!"

Emi shakes her head. "No… I-I don't mean that… I… I just…"

Hisao's voice echoes around her in response. "I love you Emi… but I know there's no more us. I know you don't need me… so… goodbye. It was fun."

Emi's heart throbs as she listens to his voice. She shakes her head some more. "Don't go Hisao! Please! Hisao! Don't leave me here… don't leave me… alone…"

The darkness seems to consume her completely… and there's nothing she can do… nothing she can say.

The only thing she can think before the blackness seems to swallow her whole is…

Please save me.


Emi wakes up, covered in a cold sweat. That nightmare was so much worse than all the others. Her heart still aches from the sheer amount of pain that her dreams brought her. Emi looks at her clock. Four in the morning. Wiping a sleeve over her eyes and biting her lip to hold in a sob, she sits up and puts her running prosthetics back on and rubs them, almost afraid they'll disappear from underneath her if she were to stand. She didn't shower after she came back from practice yesterday, but she'll get it done after she runs now. She really needs to run now.


Author's Note: I realize that I pretty much took everything from Emi's good ending and put it into Hisao's letter, and it may be a little uncharacteristic of him to know exactly what to say... but that's the beauty of a letter, I guess. He can take everything he's feeling and put it out there plainly without tripping over himself and his awkward feelings. He can let everything out and move on, knowing everything was said and done. Please tell me what you guys thought about this chapter because, as you can see, I've had a bit of inner turmoil on whether it was too much of a stretch for Hisao to be so bold.

Edit (6-9-13): Minor grammatical changes here and there.